Slatepocalypse: Unlocked Arcanum

“So, you have real magic, you were gifted an ability to fix slates by some monkey god, and you have a quest to help fix corrupted mana. Did I get all that right?” asked an obviously skeptical Elena.

“I told you this guy was loco,” scoffed Rubio, not even looking up from cleaning his gun.

“I understand how this all sounds but weren’t you just shooting at some slow moving people an hour ago? Is that so far from what I just said?” questioned CJ.

“They were mannequins. I don’t know how they were moving but…” Rubio trailed off as Elena began speaking.

“Papa, let me handle this part. On the north side of town was a large storage warehouse. We thought we’d put some walls around us and be safe for the night. When we opened the rolling door, they started rushing us. Rushing isn’t really the right word because they don’t exactly walk right. They don’t have joints in the normal places. Most of them rotate their legs at the hip. It was a very stilted lumber. The coordination was off. I chopped up the first few before papa chucked an incendiary into the mass of them. The problem was other doors further down the warehouse burst open and more started pouring out. We ran back to the van and fought our way in. By the time we got it started we were surrounded by the damn things. We ended up having to drive over and through them. Before we knew it, we’d crashed into the storefront where you found us. So, no your story is not as far fetch, but we’ve seen nothing from you but a rabbit and your adept ability at B and E,” rattled off Elena while her father started pacing back and forth behind the desk.

“Come to think of it the mannequins were acting strange. Instead of pursuing us through the park, they went around the park with the statue like they were observing traffic laws. I expected them to flood over the park crushing the shrubs on the way to us. It was simple to pick them off as they rounded the curve. Even helped to slow them down as they stumble over each other. I didn’t have time to wonder why that was as I was covering our six,” finished Rubio before peering across the hall through the window in the door.

“My spells… aren’t safe or flashy. I can make a smoke screen to hide in but I’m pretty sure it’d obscure your vision. I can make people choke and well, do you know that saw a person in half trick? Not the kind of thing you want to show off. Sort of a last resort thing, but Monty can talk. Monty say something to help support my case,” bade CJ as he looked at the rabbit wide eyed.

For Monty’s part he just sat in Elena’s lap motion less. After a few awkward seconds, Monty rolled over on his back exposing his belly for Elena to rub. She obliged him. This infuriated CJ who lunged at Monty. For his efforts, CJ was met with Monty’s scissoring kicks to his chin. As Monty landed on the floor of the office in an obvious fighters’ stance, he lifted his right fore paw and gestured for CJ to bring it on. After CJ landed on his butt from the bunny’s assault, he checked his mana. He was now back up to ninety five mana. It seems Monty’s kicks packed as much punch as a bullet.

CJ didn’t think that was correct. He was kicked twice so maybe two and half each. The math for this magic stuff was starting to weird him out. It was then he realized that Elena once again erupted in laughter as her father pulled a nine millimeter and had it leveled at Monty.

“Dude, wouldn’t it be easier to just talk. Normal bunnies don’t stand like that. Admit it, I played you,” smirked CJ.

Monty took a look at how he was standing. Upright on his hind legs, left foot planted behind him with his right paw outstretched and his left paw tucked in close to his chest. His ears plastered flat behind his head.

“Fine, you jerk. I’m going to leave a present for you on your chest while you’re sleeping,” spoke a defeated Monty.

This was met with gasps from both Elena and Rubio. Elena even jumped up on the chair on which she was sitting. CJ slowly walked over to Rubio and eased the gun down and away from Monty. Rubio paid him no mind as he stared, mouth agape at the now irritated rabbit.

“Monty’s a good person. I’d have been dead ten times over without him,” CJ said, hoping to add a little sugar to the bitter look on Monty’s face.

He seemed to be placated for now. CJ then turned his head toward the window Rubio was looking out earlier. Across the hall was the entrance to the employee lounge. His stomach started to rumble, and CJ realized he hadn’t eaten almost a day. He asked the others to wait here and went across the hall. Within he found a standard kitchenette with some dirty mugs in the sink. There was a refrigerator which CJ knew better than to open. To the left of the refrigerator was a palettes’ worth bottled water. They were all still shrink wrapped. Next to that against the perpendicular wall stood a vending machine. The light inside was off and the keypad was dark. There was no ultra crisp bill that would feed through that dead dollar slot. Even with all the obvious signs that the vending machine was a soon to be relic of the past, there was still a small object inside giving off a slight glow to CJ’s vision.

As CJ approached the machine, he heard the tell tale hopping of Monty entering the break room. CJ pointed at the stacks of bottled water without his eyes leaving the glowing object in the vending machine. He used his Hands are Quicker than the Eye ability to pop the pad lock on the latch. Then he opened the front of the vending machine. Inside was a bevy candy bars, potato chips, and varying selections of gum. He reached his arm deep into the back and extracted one of the wrapped pastries. It was oblong and came in a two pack. Once he had it in his grasp he received a prompt.

New Item: Mobius Twinkie, Rare- as long as one bite of this twinkie remains, the entire pastry will regrow within twenty four hours.

“Holy shit! Monty, look at this,” said an excited CJ, holding it out to his familiar.

“Just what you need. A never ending supply of junk food. Heaven forbid you should eat a vegetable. You should take everything else in there while you’re at it. I left to give those other two a chance to talk without us,” commented Monty as he finally got his teeth through shrink wrap.

The next ten minutes was filled with CJ stuffing all the contents of the vending machine that would fit, up his sleeves. Then he made sure to snatch up all the bottles of water. He now had around seventeen hundred bottles of water. He figured they wouldn’t go thirsty anytime soon. As he looked around at the four round tables and chairs that made up the bulk of the break room. He grew suspicious at the lack of a drink vending machine. There might be can or bottle in one of those he’d never drink again.

“We should probably get back. I can hear what they are saying anywhere in this building. Didn’t want them to know that. Also, we should check out that park in the morning. There is only one reason monsters would avoid a patch of land. Call it a hunch,” said Monty.

“Good, you’re back. We’ve decided. I will try your broken slate cure. To be fair, I’m going to tell you up front. If something happens to me Elena will immediately shoot you in the head or balls. Her choice. Do you accept these terms?” asked Rubio.

“I don’t like the shooting part. I’m going to be honest about that. When it happened to me there was some pain as the process took hold. I haven’t done it to anyone else yet and the threat of being shot is making me nervous,” said CJ with a smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Understood. If it helps us survive, I’m willing to risk it for myself. I would not allow my daughter to undergo something so obviously experimental,” Rubio said flatly.

“How about we eat first?” asked CJ, before he started producing bottles of water and snacks.

They marveled at CJ’s ability. Elena and Rubio both inspected his arms to figure out how he was doing it before they all sat down to eat and drink. During this time Rubio continued to ask CJ what the process was like for him. CJ noticed that he only drank half the bottle of water before capping it and putting it away. CJ dropped six more bottles out of his right sleeve in front of Rubio while answering one of Elena’s questions.

“Why does this Monkey King want you to do this? What’s in it for him?” asked Elena.

“I’ll let Monty answer that. Some of the details won’t make sense if I say them because of your broken slates. I didn’t have a problem when Monty told me things before mine was fixed. Side note, I think that’s why I can understand you when you speak Spanish. The slate translates automatically,” finished CJ rubbing his chin in thought.

“Fine. That big blue wave of energy that swept across the planet a few weeks back. That was mana. This world hasn’t had mana in a millennium. It was too much, too fast. That caused the fonts that release the mana to become corrupt. Dungeons clean and purify mana. Until we start clearing them, they’ll just keep pumping out more and more corrupted mana,” explained Monty before tearing through a bag of potato chips.

“I understood everything he said. I mean the words, not the meaning,” commented Elena.

“Apparently not many people know about this and whoever is left is just trying to survive,” added CJ.

“Enough. Let’s begin. Exhaustion is setting in and we should get rest when we can. CJ, I’m ready,” said Rubio standing up and walking around the desk to stand before him.

“Here goes nothing,” said CJ as he stood up and put both hands on either side of Rubio’s head.

CJ summoned up the Harbingers Grasp from within him for the first time. It was strange sensation. Internally he felt the flow of his mana swell from within his chest. It then erupted out into both his arms toward Rubio’s head. The experience was like ice cold water released from a fire hydrant. CJ’s body began to glow with a twinkling blue energy before Rubio’s eyes lit up with a shining azure light. The moment the process started Rubio’s shoulders twitched as he resisted years of training designed to protect himself from harm. Elena’s eyes went wide as her father’s back stiffened, before his straining shoulders sagged. She was about to shoot CJ before Monty hopped up on the desk and shook his head no. Just like that it was all over. CJ released Rubio’s head and sat back down in his chair.

“That… huff huff. That’s it. I’m curious what class he picked,” panted CJ.

“That’s simple. Rifleman,” said Rubio maintaining a thousand yard stare into nothing.

“It worked! Madre de Dios! It worked!” cheered Elena.

“He was right, it did sting. But now I can… let’s see here. I have the ability to transmute any metal into bullets using wah wah,” commented Rubio.

“That’s it. I’m done not understanding what you all are saying. My turn,” said Elena before stamping one foot.