Slatepocalypse: Unlocked Arcanum

CJ winced at the rigidity in Monty’s spine. He could see the black furred rabbit desperately needed him to look at something. With that thought, CJ went looking for the familiar tab. It consisted of a few lines of text. The first was a percentage for current bond. It was only at twenty percent. CJ imagined it should be higher but then again, Monty was always kicking him and saying mean things a lot. Below that was a more interesting line.

Health Regeneration is set to 80/20.

“Regeneration? Is that what you wanted me to fix?” asked CJ.

“Finally! If you could just balance that out, I’d appreciate it,” spat out Monty.

“Sure thing, bud.”

CJ adjusted the balance to fifty fifty and marveled as a look of pure relief passed over Monty’s face. It was a rabbit’s face, but his ears flopped down to either side of his head. Then his shoulders sank in a more relaxed position. CJ took note wondering why it was so heavily weighted to begin with.

“Hey, is this why I healed so quickly after the car bomb?”

“Probably.”

Digging a little deeper into the tab, CJ found more information about Monty.

Name: Monty Hall

Species: Proto Hare

While CJ wondered what a proto hare actually was, he noticed his bond level with Monty had increased by another five percent. That led his thoughts down another rabbit hole, pun intended, about Sun Wukong’s relationship with Monty. Wukong was looking a little green around the gills, so CJ decided to close his slate for the moment.

“Everything alright?” he asked the monkey king.

“Time is running out and the fires around us are dying down. I have a quest for you. You will need to complete it before the next full moon. Not a lot of time I know. The corrupted mana that is spewing forth from the fonts needs to stop. The best way to do that is by clearing Bolster Dungeons. They are smaller dungeons meant to improve skills and abilities. The magic they use can fester and rot if not relieved. Once a dungeon turns rampant, then monsters can spill out into the real world. These monsters would be different than the naturally occurring kind you have encountered. For one, they would just keep coming until the dungeon was cleared. The monsters you have encountered so far can be culled until there are no more. Rampant monsters spawn no rewards for killing them. They can only be claimed from inside the boundaries of a dungeon. Here is the quest,” explained Sun Wukong.

Holy Quest: Bolster Dungeons- Clear five bolster dungeons before the next full moon while educating the masses about them. 0 of 5 cleared. Rewards: Combat training from Sun Wukong.

“Wait, I get the training after? How am I supposed to clear the dungeons if I don’t know how to fight?” asked CJ sounding a little worried.

“You will have Monty with you and the spells you just received. They won’t all be monster infested, remember the purpose of a bolster dungeon. Now I am out of time. You will be returned to your normal time and reality. Pick up my staff before you leave. I pray that you succeed,” spoke Sun Wukong who now more resembled a small chimpanzee than the armored monkey king from before.

CJ hadn’t noticed but the mountain steps he climbed to get to Sun Wukong’s pagoda had shrunk down as well. There were only three steps remaining that led back to the white expanse he arrived in. Wukong gestured for him to leave. Only then did CJ realize the Monty had already gone. He hustled down the few remaining stairs and looked in both directions for Monty. Then his vision blurred before he was once again standing at the center of a crater in the middle of the New Jersey Pine Barrens.

Monty shot passed him like a rocket planting both feet into a Cicada who was mid leap. They both came crashing down to the forest floor. For his part, Monty rolled back up to his feet ears flat to the back of his head. The fires around the crater were nothing but embers trailing wisps of smoke now. CJ wasn’t idle as he tried to lift the monkey king’s staff. It was incredibly heavy. The damn thing wouldn’t budge. Then the golden script running up and down the shaft began to glow softly. The entire thing began to shrink, shifting from lacquered golden brown to more of a plastic matte black. The caps on either end shifted from gold, to silver, and finally to an eggshell color. By the time it was done it looked more like a magician’s wand than an all mighty weapon of a god.

“Will you pick up Ruyi Jingu Bang already? We need to get out of here before we are swarmed,” hollered Monty.

New Item: Ruyi Jingu Bang- Mythical grade. This item has been temporarily granted to CJ Thompson for the purposes of transport. This item transcends mortal limits; therefore, all abilities and enchantments of this item have been locked by its owner. Only Sun Wukong can unlock its power.

CJ was baffled by the description of the staff. It was more like a wand now but still. That was as much time as he had to think about it before he heard more of that low rhythmic thrumming from the tree line. He slipped the wand in his right hand sleeve noticing no change in weight. His new passive Nothing up my sleeve was coming in handy already. The cracking of branches from the trees reached his ears next. They did not have an abundance of time, so CJ decided to give them a head start.

He activated his new spell smokes screen for the first time. He felt his internal energy dip as he spent twenty of his newly accessed mana. A cloud of grey-black smoke billowed from under his tuxedo jacket. Within milliseconds the whole crater was shrouded with opaque smoke. Based on the spell description this will only last around three minutes. CJ took off in the direction Monty called out to him from finding he didn’t have any trouble seeing through his own smoke.

After ten minutes of running CJ wasn’t even winded. It felt amazing after all those years of running on the track and pooping out after a few miles. Although the last month or so of running for his life didn’t hurt either. CJ chuckled to himself thinking he could maintain this speed forever. That’s of course when a tree branch smacking into his face flipped him ass over tea kettle.

He’d had his bell rung by that limb. Cursing himself for not watching where he was going. CJ couldn’t see in the dark. He just wasn’t getting tired. It appeared he needed to train with his newfound abilities. Monty was just standing over him on his hindlegs, arms crossed shaking his head left and right.

“You know, we’re pretty far from the bugs now. You can probably slow down. Dumbass,” snickered Monty.

“What’s your deal Monty? How did you know where to find Sun Wukong? Why did you know to bring me to him?” asked CJ rolling over to sit up.

“I’m one of his followers. A lot of us have been trapped in an endless cycle of reincarnation since he left. My first name was Usagi. Back then I had a more humanoid body. I want that back and Sun Wukong promises to deliver it to me. Don’t get me wrong, this form is near perfect. I just miss thumbs,” replied Monty.