Slatepocalypse: Unlocked Arcanum

“Cicadas! You’re on your own No Phone,” shrieked Jerry before he took off into the trees in the direction of the reservoir.

“Don’t leave me. You’re the one with the gun… and he’s gone,” whined CJ before getting his back to against a tree.

The sound of cicadas singing was coming from his right. Instead of blindly chasing after Jerry through the woods, CJ took off in the opposite direction. It was a good thing too since a flood of buzzing shapes took down a tree in the direction Jerry ran. A few shotgun blasts rang out in the distance, but CJ didn’t stop running. He absentmindedly wondered how big they were if they brought down a tree. The pine barrens were filled with pitch pines, but you’d see the odd scarlet oak or southern red oak as well. All these trees were medium to large in trunk size. That’s why when one of the cicadas landed on tree to CJ’s right, he almost jumped out of his skin.

It was big. Considering normal cicadas are about as big as a grown man’s thumb, it was the size of those toy cars you sit toddlers in with the yellow roof. The wings had to be twice its length though. They buzzed in fits and spurts. It slowly turned on the tree trunk so that its wings were pointed up. It’s bulbous head staring right at CJ. He froze in place hoping he was blending in the with the growing darkness of the forest. Two more wing buzzes and the cicada began to crawl around the tree away from CJ. He didn’t know if it was the dark color of his now filthy Tux, the lack of hair on his head, or his panicked heart rate but CJ felt like that was supposed to be the end of him. Of course, that’s when a bright flash lit up the sky.

A streak of fire was blasting through the clouds straight toward the pine barrens. It was getting larger and larger making shadows all around him dance with its progression. The night was now lit up with a foreboding orange and red hue. Bright enough that CJ stood out amongst the trees. It was so bright he didn’t see the cicada come back around the tree and notice him. Its wings buzzed right before it leapt off the tree at him. CJ still stood transfixed on the flaming ball plummeting to earth.

Time slowed down as the cicada’s movement reached CJ’s periphery. It brought him down to the ground with its two headlight sized eyes wobbling around on either side of its head. Its mouth was very reminiscent of an old car front grill in the shape of V. While a normal cicada didn’t have teeth, this monstrous variety did. They fanned out from each slit like fingers reaching out to grab a small object.

CJ just about pissed himself when he felt one of his decks of cards. He snatched it with his right hand bending them slightly, so the middle of the pack budged. Then all fifty two sputtered out of his hand slapping against the monster’s head. The wings abruptly stopped buzzing, and it began to grind its back legs together. It made the sound he heard earlier when Jerry took off. No sooner did that sound start then there was an impact that shook the ground. A plume of dust blasted between the trees of the forest. Pine needles fell everywhere as the top of trees swayed. This distracted the great bug enough that CJ crawled out from under it. Once it realized its prey was getting away, it refocused on dinner. It lumbered forward to recapture CJ before something struck it in the side flipping it onto its back.

“Get up and run dumbass!” yelled Monty.

Monty had appeared from the forest and drop kicked the cicada. He scampered past CJ beckoning him to follow. CJ was completely floored by what just happened. He gathered his wits and trotted after Monty. Behind the both of them they could hear the cicada’s song letting them know they were still in danger.

“Monty, I’ve been searching for you for days. Where did you go? Why didn’t you stay with us?”

“Now’s not the time. I’ve got someone I want you to meet. It’s taken him a long time to get here, and I almost got tired or waiting.”

“You know someone out in the Pine Barrens? I have so many questions, Monty.”

“He’ll answer all of them. Shit, get down!” yelled Monty before executing a vertical leap that should have been impossible for a creature his size.

Monty flipped over CJ’s head and kicked a leaping cicada between the eyes before it could land on CJ. He landed on the ground looking at the now stunned bug in silent approval of his skill. Then Monty scampered off after CJ getting him to turn at certain points until CJ noticed they were heading toward a section of forest on fire.

“Is that a forest fire? We aren’t going that way, are we?”

“You ask so many questions. It’ll be fine Nancy. Nothing to worry about.”

“I don’t like your tone, Monty. What’s with everyone mouthing off to me lately?”

“Cause you’re a push over. You always have been. You were too scared to return me to the pet store even though you know I’d never work in your act you hack.”

“Okay, that’s just too far you little shit. I’ll have you know I didn’t return you because only monsters return pets to the pet store. I’m no monster and furthermore…” said CJ but he didn’t get a chance to finish.

“Shut up. We’re here.”

They arrived at a smoke filled section of the forest at the crest of a pit. There were several trees smoldering around them, but the fire didn’t appear to be spreading. Whether it was just too cold, or the trees were well hydrated, CJ didn’t know. The pit was almost perfectly circular. It even had impact rings all around it. At the center of it was a rod made of red wood with golden lettering written up and down it. The tip of it was capped in gold. Steams of smoke still came off the object.

“That’s not a person. That an ornate stick in the ground. Why are we here again?” asked CJ.

“Because I called out to your familiar on my way here. We have a lot to discuss and not much time. Get down here and dig me out,” resonated an unfamiliar voice from the object.

Monty had already begun sliding down the side of the crater. He made note of pointy or sharp sections for CJ to look out for. CJ just stood their mouth agape. Monty sighed before finding some loose rocks kicking his foot through them. The rocks shot up toward CJ forcing him to throw an arm over his face fore cover. That quick movement caused him to slip and tumble down the side of the crater.

“Why? Why does every solution for you involve kicking?” complained CJ.

“I am who I am. I thought you made your piece with that already. Now dig,” ordered Monty getting scowl from CJ.

“You’re gonna help, aren’t you?” asked CJ indignantly.

“No thumbs.” answered Monty Flatly.

After thirty or so minutes of CJ digging out one side of the object, it finally came free of its upright position. It fell to the ground where CJ could see the golden writing was definitely of east Asian origin. As well as the other end was also tipped in gold. He got up after a minute and went over to lift the now obvious Bo staff out of the dirt. No sooner than his hand come within an inch of the weapon, two simian arms shot out from the six foot length of wood. The hands clamped firmly on either side of CJ’s face and the world around him swirled into a blank white void.

CJ stood and looked around him. Nothing but a flat white expanse. He called out for Monty who then showed up standing right next to him. CJ looked down at Monty whose eyes were fixated forward while he bowed his head. CJ followed the rabbits gaze to a mountain that wasn’t there a second ago when he was looking around. There were stone steps leading up to a pagoda with red tiles at the top.

“What is happening right now?” asked CJ.

“We go to meet an original god of this planet. He has gifts for you,” answered Monty before he stood up and started hopping toward the stairs.