Side Note

Hello, it's me, mother of roughly 100 sentient Shadow Clones, a nearly endless amount of not-sentient Shadow Clones, and a couple of children-in-law, Madeleine here. I am currently on Darky's shoulder, facing a wall of tentacles that seem very intent on grabbing us. I've read enough hentai to know what happens if they do catch us. They shouldn't have put pornographic works in the Maid School's library. 

It turns out Darky jinxed us since the next person we met was the Man In The Pinstripe Suit, who isn't a man and no longer in a pinstripe suit. By the way, for those who remember, she's the older sister of Myka, which makes sense for why she's near the end. She might even be the last enemy before Myka, but I wouldn't know since I haven't reached the end yet.

The Shadow Clones (The non-sentient ones) are endlessly crawling out of the small shadow Darky and I are making, throwing themselves at the tentacle wall. I won't describe what the tentacles are doing to them, but let's say that Shadow Clones do not come equipped with the ability to process stimulation and thus look stone-faced when experiencing things. It's really funny looking is what I'm basically saying. Now… I have no idea how to beat Myka's sister, but fortunately, I have Darky here!

"Sorry mom, but any motherfucker dumb enough to get involved with Eldritch shit is off the table for me." 

"Rude! We don't know Myka's sister is a fucker of mothers!" Why exactly doesn't she get involved with Eldritch?

"You mixed up what you were meant to say and what you're meant to think, mom. As for your question, it's cause the Eldritch folks follow no rules, meaning my ability is essentially useless against them."

"Oh." I returned to looking at the tentacles, seeing more non-sentient Shadow Clones in its grasp. If you're wondering what the sentient Shadow Clones are doing, they're doing nothing. They're just sitting in the Shadowrealm. I want to sit in the Shadowrealm too, but the wall is specifically aimed at me. One day I will eliminate the concept of tentacles. Now, I should probably come up with a plan, but it's kind of hard to come up with a plan that seems nearly unbeatable… but I'm sure I'll come up with something! Maybe I'll just throw a bunch of ideas at the wall and hope one of them sticks.

"What if we threw even more Shadow Clones at the wall?" I have a lot of Shadow Clones, you know.

"All that would do is make an even bigger tentacle rape scene, so veto to that." Damn, shot down immediately.

"How about we seduce the tentacles?" I don't know how we'd do it, but it could work.

"No offence mom, but we do not have the seduction ability you think we have."

"But we all have lovers!"

"The only ones of us who actually seduced their lovers are just me and Light. The rest of you just stuck around with them long enough that something blossomed."

"Geez, you're not supposed to bully your parents, you know."

"I break the rules. I'll bully you all I want." Yeesh, who the hell raised up this child to be so unruly? Couldn't have been me, I was too busy looking at Side Notes to be someone's parental figure… I'm getting sidetracked. 

"If you're shooting down all my ideas, how about you make one up right now?"

"You know what, maybe I will!" Darky snapped her other finger, causing the two of us to suddenly start turning transparent. "I just broke the rules. We can go to the next floor despite not getting the key."

"Huh. Neat." And onto the next floor we went, leaving behind a wall of tentacles and a shit ton of Shadow Clones.

I suddenly found myself inside the court of a castle that was decorated with many colourful statues. A purple statue of a man playing a pipe, a black statue of a yelling queen, a burning statue of a witch, and so much more, like a patterned juggler or a yellow jester. Three statues stood out, however, due to their size and ancient looks compared to the others. Sure, the other statues looked old, but these three seemed incredibly ancient, literally falling apart in some places.

The first was a statue of a chained individual, although it was missing its head. Unlike the other statues, which were painted stone, this one was rusted metal… oddly enough, the shackles kind of remind me of the ones in Marigold's house. The second was an imposing woman, holding a ring of keys in one hand, with her other hand resting on her sheathed sword. The last was a crimson statue of Rika, but even more impressively, there was a smaller, Rika-sized statue of Rika that looked exactly like the real thing.

"That's because I am the real thing." Holy shit, the statue can even talk! I slowly walked towards it, poking its cheek once I was close enough, only for it to bite my finger. Guys, I think it's the real Rika. "I said I was."

"I'm gonna be honest, I didn't expect to see you this late." I mean, Rika right after my mom, my mother, Cookie, Rio, and even my Shadow Clones? I only went on a road trip with this girl. She probably should've been my ally before Merida.

"That's because I'm not here for you. I'm here for Myka, Ryla, and a casual loop. Here, take this," She handed a piece of paper and a badge over to me.

"What's this?"

"A real arrest warrant and a cosplay police badge."

"Why do I need these?"

"You don't, but I do. Now, have fun for the next two days."

"Two days? There's no way it'll be that long."

"I know what I said." She put a normal-looking stone with two googly eyes in my hand, and the floor transfer started. "Give it your best shot."

"Aye aye, captain!" And off to the next floor I went.

Chapter namesake: Mr. Pinstripe Suit by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy