Side Note

I am in a mansion. A nice mansion. A familiar mansion. The mansion of an Otherworlder who has a town named after him. The mansion of David The Insane. Remember how the gang and I lived in it before it was suddenly burned down to the ground like every other mansion we've lived in? Ah… the good old days. 

"My mansion burned down?" I turned around and saw an adventurer sitting on a nearby chair, eating some cake. He looks kind of familiar… "I doubt you remember me. I died two minutes after my introduction."

"Umm… is your name James?" I don't actually remember meeting any James, but it's a safe bet… I think.

"You're in the mansion of David The Insane, which is found inside Davidstown." He took another bite of his cake. "Tell me, who do you think it could be?"

"David The Insane?"

"Ding ding ding!" He ate more cake. "You are correct!"

"I remember you being more… cold and condescending. Or was it cocky?"

"Death does things to a man." He threw away his empty plate and then grabbed a different plate of cake from behind the chair. "Honestly, I was expecting the Side Character to be the main character. Mendass sure loves irony. Why wouldn't that extend to the main character?"

"I'd read a story with Mel as the main character." Maybe it'd be smut about her and me… wait, I don't need to read that.

"Too bad. You're the main character." He took a bite of his cake, which had somehow changed colour. "I can't believe I was dumb enough to think I was the main character."

"What things?"

"Look, like any normal nerd sent to a different world, I immediately thought I was the main character. I mean, come on, I had fucking Appraisal! That's part of the basic Isekai protagonist starting kit! I should've been tipped off by the multiple Otherworlders who don't share a link, the complete bonkers nature of Mendass, and the fact that my 'harem' were pining for each other… to think I ended up as a guy in a yuri story. Talk about bad luck."

"That does sound unlucky." I saw a plate of cake on the table and reached for it, only to have David slap my hand. "So, are we going to fight?"

"Pfft… hell no. I'm a dead man. Dead men don't fight. They only speak." 

"So what do you have to say?"

"Since I'm sure no one did it, I asked your bunny friend why she was doing this whole shimmazz. It turns out she's fucking loco." David made a gesture, making circles with a finger next to his head. "She thinks she can 'extend' this story. What a fucking fool."

"How so?"

"Look, she's trying to create a really fucking long gauntlet in some vague hope that it keeps things going, which is dumb if you ask me." He grabbed another plate of cake. "Honestly, it sounds like she's forcing us to do a Shaman King, which might actually do the opposite. If I remember correctly, they glossed over three fights or something."

"Hey! That's what I said! I said we were doing a Shaman King!"

"I have no idea how to retort to that… Anyways, your next fight is against Mimi, Rita, and, ahem," He coughed, then started speaking in a weird accent, "Sofia Proch, the third princess of Trogen and first wife of the Hero Millie Migans. Should be easy enough for you."

"Easy? How?"

"If you're here, then you beat Wulfric, who was probably one of the stronger ones here. Sofia and Rita should be no problem, and as long as you avoid Mimi's Paralyzer, you should be fine."

"Oh."

"So yeah, that's what's up." He took out an adventurer tag and then threw it at me. "Now get lost. I've got to enjoy as much cake as I can before I get sent back to Hell."

"Oh. Bye-bye then."

"Yeah, see you never."

Onto the next floor I went.

Huh. David The Insane was wrong. This is not easy in the slightest. How do I know? I am currently being sat on. Usually, I'd be okay with being sat on, but, you know, I have a girlfriend… who I should be rushing to save right now. Huh.

"Huh. David was wrong. This was very easy," Mimi quipped while spinning a dagger on her finger. She's sitting on my shoulders.

"Maybe his Appraisal was wrong for once," Rita said. She's the elf who was with David. You know, the one who we sent back with May. I don't remember when or know how she met up with Mimi again. She's sitting on my back.

"Obviously, it was due to the greatness of Sofia Proch, the third princess of Trogen and the wife of the Hero Millie Migans! We didn't even need your assistance, Rita!" Sofia Proch, the third princess… I thought she was the second? Anyways, she's sitting on my legs.

Hmm… how do I get out of this situation? Well, quite easily, actually. I summoned the Amulet of Floating from my storage to fly, and up I went, surprising the trio. With one smooth flip, they're off me. I immediately turn off flight, stomping the ground as I land, creating earth pillars that entrap the three girls' limbs.

"Huh. David was right. This was extremely easy." I searched the bodies of the three while they squirmed and eventually found a picture of Mimi and Sofia's wedding day that was taken amidst Rita's surprise objection. That is a lot of elves… looks like I'm going to the next floor. I have to say, at least the fight was… fun? Good old times.

This floor is empty. There's literally nothing but a pit, which I have yet to look in. Hmm… I guess I'll take a look… it's just a dirt pit. A dirt pit with a person in it, but still just a dirt pit… oh, he noticed me.

"Hey! You're the maid who put in here! Can you help me out?"

Who?

Chapter namesake: Good Times by Finger Eleven