Side Note

Hello, it's me, currently running in the 90s. What do I mean by the 90s? No idea. It's just what the song that one of Aunt May's sisters (I guess that also makes her my Aunt) is playing for this fight says. It's more like a war, though. As Kine once said, "War, war never changes." I have no idea what Fallout meant by that. Huh? How do I know about Fallout? I had some bonding time with the shadow clones, and they introduced me to this thing called 'gaming'. I enjoyed it.

Oh yeah, as for the war between my shadow clones and the family… it's going about as well as you'd expect. The gods are kicking our butt. Most of the shadow clones are gone! Dissipated! Obliterated! Exhilarated! That last one doesn't work. Fortunately, there are a few shadow clones still standing. Unfortunately, there are only a few shadow clones still standing. 

There are so few, I can count them on my hands! Okay, maybe the situation is significantly worse than I thought. Worry not, the seven shadow clones are the strongest. I'll list them down, but I can't anymore. The number went from seven to three. Oh no…

"My deal is still on the table, you know. Come on, medium-sized maid, I know you want it." I flicked off the tiny Devil on my shoulder and got to thinking.

Okay, the four shadow clones left standing are Light, Kyrie, Ardio, and #13. Light seems to be in the best condition, being the blessed of a goddess, however, she isn't going full power due to the other shadow clones. Kyrie is a bit beat up but is still trucking on because of course a gladiator version of myself can take a beating. Ardio is… making beats with one of my Aunts? That explains why she's still here. #13 is… shaking and crying under the table, muttering about how it's just her luck to get caught up in this shit.

So… what does this analysis tells me? It tells me I am screwed unless I can think of some surprise that can take down almost 50+ gods. I can't really use the Plan A surprise since Myka is now fully cautious of me. I won't use Plan B surprise since no one should shake the hand of the Devil. So that leaves me with Plan C. Summon a shadow clone of a random person in the Shadowrealm. Look, I'm pressed for time, I can't look down an entire list, I'll just stomp my foot and call forth someone.

"Your desire was heard, and temptation itself listens. Pam at your service, happy to provide."

"Umm… make me win?"

"Consider yourself lucky, for we're in front of the Devil himself. I would not dare scam in front of him. I doubt he enjoys the idea of prey being taken from him."

"You're damn right, Baphomet rip-off."

Pam snapped his fingers, then returned to the Shadowrealm. A few seconds later, and three shadow clones appeared out of my shadow: A copy of Maxine, Sorceress Extreme, a copy of Sherry, and a copy of… Myka?

Immediately, the copy of Maxine waved her staff towards the gods to my left, completely freezing them on the spot. I recognised that! She used it to make some statues! The copy of Sherry struck the ground with her giant axe, creating a shockwave that knocked away all the gods to my right. That is scary. Last, the copy of Myka waved her hand, causing every god in front of me to fall asleep. Hehe… nighty night.

Before I could pose for victory, however, the three shadow clones were suddenly engulfed in magic circles, which all erupted, completely eviscerating them (That's the word I wanted to say instead of exhilarating). It was caused by Aunt May, who was flying above, sitting on a broomstick, her hands aimed at me now. Well… shit.

She fired a lightning bolt at me, which I rolled to dodge. She then tried creating a fire pillar under me, which I countered by stomping my foot, turning the ground I stood on into ice. Then she attacked with wind blades, which I retaliated against with some fireballs. We had a back-and-forth with magic until I deflected one of her attacks behind me, creating the sound of a chain breaking… chain breaking? 

At that moment, a light arrow shot forward from behind me, whizzing past my ear, aimed dead centre at Aunt May. She easily deflected it upwards with her hand. She then kept attacking me, and although I dodged the attacks, I focused on the light arrow. It kept flying upwards before suddenly stopping, then splitting almost a hundredfold. Each light arrow then zoomed towards Aunt May, who could not deflect them all. 

Huh. That's that. I turned around to see the person who fired the light arrow: Mel, obviously. She gave me a thumbs up, which I returned with a kiss blow, causing her to roll her eyes with a slight red tint on her face. Her embarrassment didn't last long, as it turned into fear. I turned around, only to notice the entire dining room was dark… too dark.

"Good job, daughter… but now the fun begins." I saw it was my mom (The Creator one), who wielded two shadow daggers, very similar to mine. "I have two things on my bucket list: Say objection at my daughter's wedding and fight all my daughters simultaneously. Let's get you warmed up for one."

She prepared to dash, but before she could move forward, she was suddenly sent into the air, uppercutted by a surprise entrant of our fight.

"Guess who's back in full form!" It was Darky, who held her demon girlfriend in one arm and her kidnapped daughter on her back. "Fuck grief, I broke the rules and only did four stages!"

Huh.

Chapter namesake: We Got The Power by Gorillaz