Side Note

Hello, it's me, a maid forced to sit at the table instead of serving. Sure, it's the family table, but that's no excuse for the number #1 graduate of a Maid School year… granted, I was the only one to graduate in my year, but ignore that fact. Well, I've noticed I wouldn't be able to serve this table anyways. Too many… moving pieces. Both alive and not. Looking down the really long table, I estimate there are at least 50 different bodies, and let me tell you, the chaos is real.

I can see two people fighting, one dual-wielding pretty big swords while already wearing heavy white armour and the other with swirling green wind around her arms, there's a funky-looking lady who kind of reminds me of the cosmic rock lobster who has countless mugs of beer in front of her instead of food, and, for some reason, there's a shadow clone who is just shaking and crying in the corner of the table, occasionally taking a piece of sushi that's on her plate.

"Sorry about the chaos. Most of the family got excited about meeting with one of Mara's daughters." Aunt May sat down next to my right, placing down a plate of sushi. "Mara is the only one with kids, and they love doting on Mira."

"My sister, right?"

"That's right, kiddo. It's cute how she tries to be stoic but immediately turns red when," Aunt May grabbed my head, pulling down. I tried to lift it, but I suddenly felt something fly over my head, I looked to Mel to see if she was alright, and she was, having dodged as well. Despite the crazy thing, Aunt May continued with what she was saying. "She gets patted by any of us. If you asked me, her wings are the best place to pat her. They're so soft."

"She's only ever tried to fight me. She's a pretty good fighter, but I've won all our bouts so far."

"Hmm… surprising, since not only is she the product of a Divine Avatar and a Demon Lord, but she also has that Sixty-Four blessing. Let me give you a more thorough check real quick. For now… look around, I guess. Just don't get out of your seat." A magic circle appeared around both of Aunt May's eyes, and she started analysing my soul. I guess I'll talk to Mel.

"Your family is as crazy as I expected. Although…" Mel looks over to a shirtless old man flinging lightning bolts at the two, now five, people who were fighting. "I'm pretty sure that's Zeus and that he's not a family member."

"Who's Zeus?" I said before realising something else. Mel's plate of sushi is still intact, and she's eating it, meanwhile, my plate of sushi is wholly crushed, caused by a rock the size of my hand randomly landing on it. "More importantly, why is your food still around, and mine has turned into smoosh?"

"Adventurers have fights when you're eating in a tavern."

"An adventurer, huh?" We both turned across the table, noticing a very red demon with a huge grin. "How about you tell us a story? I'm curious."

"Umm… sure… but who are you?"

"Hehe. No one important. Ain't that right, Akuma-chan?" The demon put his arm around a different demon, who was smaller than him and also female. She rolled her eyes, ducking under his arm, taking her sushi, and then going elsewhere. "Talk about cold… to think her Domain is fire. Haha!"

"Madeleine, I think I'll move…." Mel said while looking at me. She gave a side glance to the demon. "He gives me bad vibes."

"Coolio! Have fun saying hi to the rest of the family, and remember to give them their wedding invites!"

"Sure… where are they?"

"Here you go!" I handed Mel a pile of invites, and off she went.

"And then there was one. Madeleine, if I remember correctly. Enjoying the family dinner?"

"Hey, uncle Devil," Aunt May removed the magic circles from her eyes, then turned to the demon. "Didn't mom ban you from these dinners?"

"And miss out on prime-time entertainment? Shit is about to go down, and I need front-row seats… but before the fun can begin, tell us your analysis."

"Fine… she's alarmingly similar to Mara. The proficiency with darkness-related magics, even without that ring of hers, the top-tier knowledge in assassination techniques, and the penchant for chaos. Almost like Mara duplicated her soul, just mixed in with a little bit from another."

"Mara always was my favourite Avatar… almost makes me want to play with this one. A shame she's someone else's plaything." The grinning demon turned to his side, looking at nothing. "Ain't that right, Reality Warper?"

"She's not a plaything." Myka appeared in the spot the demon was looking at. "She's a lifeline. Get it right."

"Blah blah blah, just get it on. I want some action, some drama, some carnage!"

"I will ensure my existence, using whatever it takes." Myka snapped her fingers, creating black threads that flew out of her and tied themselves around the wrists of everyone here except myself and the demon. "I'll use your past, present, and future."

All the chaos around the table froze at that moment, and each person stayed still. Then with a finger snap from Myka, they all turned to me, grabbing whatever weapons they could find lying nearby, then aimed them at me. "The days of endless challenge start now, Madeleine. Do whatever it takes to stall this out. My life counts on it."

Chapter namesake: Rock The House by Gorillaz

pojlk

It's funny, Mara wasn't created for Side Note, and I made her Madeleine's parent on a whim, yet she arguably makes more sense as a parent for Madeleine then Moira does, who was explicitly made to be Madeleine's parent. Also, I recently had a re-read of Split Divinity, and man, it's funnier than I remember it being, but also incredibly unfocused. Maybe I'll ignore what I said months ago and actually rewrite it after this.