Sharp

“I have had some pretty damning accusations made about you, Narelli.” Professor Perfiti had me in her office.

I nodded.

“Are you not going to say anything?”

“Am I supposed to assume what the accusations are?”

“Incompetence, insubordination, leaving your team to die. Rudo is accusing you of assault and causing him to see the healer, which he wants you to pay for, and Astrid and Rudo are refusing to work with you ever again.”

“I see.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“I don’t want to work with them again either.”

“You are not going to defend yourself?”

“Why? It was all recorded or witnessed by supervisor. You are hardly going to act on the word of a couple of students.”

“What I assessed when I reviewed the recording was that you were not fully committed to the fight.”

“That is correct. We shouldn’t have been fighting it. I was not going to die to some monster because some idiots wouldn’t walk away.”

“You could have used other methods to convince them and talked to them after.”

“I tried talking to them beforehand in the planning, but I was shut down. I even presented a plan that would have worked despite the monster being mid-bronze. It certainly would have kept everyone alive. But I was shut down and ignored.”

“What is this plan?”

I told her about the pit trap and the response I got.

“That might have worked. It was a tough monster, though. Do you know why you weren’t listened to?”

“They are lacking in brain cells?”

“No. Because you don’t have the respect, the reputation to be listened to.”

“If I have to suck up to people to be listened to, I am happy to leave them to die.”

“Are you? If that was real, would you leave them to die?”

“If that were real, I would have walked away, and they could choose to attack or not, knowing I wasn’t there. I would not have participated at all. I would not have watched them die. They can choose their own actions. In this case, they chose to proceed because it was an assessment, and death isn’t real in there. The whole setup is false.”

“That has some truth to it, but there are fights you can’t walk away from.”

“Yes, but this wasn’t one of them.”

“As you seem to have surmised, the monsters were at a level our graduates would be expected to achieve, not our first years. The next few lessons are on staying alive, even if it means turning down contracts or failing assignments. Judgement of which fights to have and which to walk away from is going to be hammered all semester. Things get messy when innocent lives are involved. This was an easy one. I want to get back to your reputation. You will find it harder to find people to team with from this.”

“So they are out there spreading rumours. I am not going to bother spreading counter rumours if that is what you are saying.”

“That is not what I am saying. I am saying you need to build your reputation so people will listen to you.”

“My reputation is just fine among the people I interact with. They are just not socially important. They are, however, the nicer people.”

“If people won’t team with you, you will fail this course.”

“OK.”

“OK? That’s it?”

“If I fail the course, I will lose my scholarship and have to leave. I have enjoyed my time here and learned a lot, but if it ends at the end of this semester, then it does.”

“You really don’t care about that?”

“I would miss my sessions with Healer Remore the most. She has helped a lot.”

“And what are those sessions about? I am trying to understand here.”

“It is private. I am not going to build my reputation by sucking up to people.”

“Some people need lessons on which fights to have, and others need lessons on how to work with people, even ones you don’t like.”

“So we will be assigned to work together again.”

“Not immediately, but yes. I suggest you work toward smoothing things over with them.”

“Did you tell them that too?”

“Yes. You should contribute to the healer's fee. It was an overreaction and would help smooth things.”

“No, it wasn’t an overreaction. He is the second person I have met who thinks his opinion is more important than my reaction. He is wrong, and he overreacted. You don’t touch someone without permission, let alone restrain them unwillingly.”

“You are making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

“Yes, the powerful push to get their way, and if the less powerful push back, they are at fault.”

“I am tempted to fail you now.”

“You have the power.”

“You really won't bend, will you? The desire to be here is usually a large motivating factor. I will consult further. You are dismissed.”

I nodded and left.

I didn’t go to my room. I went to the Temple of Death to meditate. I am not sure if I want to go back. Dealing with people is so difficult. Correction: Dealing with powerful people is very difficult. Ordinary people are fine.

I asked Denice to make me up a room for the night. I will have to decide before the first class tomorrow if I go back.

I can probably get another awakening stone from what I have. I could get a job as a labourer on another caravan. See the world.

The training at Rufus’ school is fantastic. It is the other students I am having trouble with.

Some mourners were leaving a chapel, and I watched them milling and talking quietly. Death is real and final.

Will anyone mourn me when my soul goes to the goddess? Probably not. Maybe Davu and Denice. Maybe I am better off in religion than in adventuring.

“You know, when I usually come to the Temple of Death, it is because I have failed in my job.” The voice was Healer Remore.

“And this time?”

“Still undecided, which is unusual for the Temple of Death.”

“Have you come to persuade me to come back?”

“That depends. Do you want to come back?”

“I haven’t decided. I was just thinking that maybe I am better off in religion than adventuring.”

“You can do both, you know. I am a Priestess of the Healer and an adventurer. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Which part?”

“I watched the recording and talked to Perfiti. You were angry.”

“Yes, I was.”

“That is the bit I want to talk about.”

“I was angry that I wasn’t listened to and then blamed for it going wrong.”

“You weren’t blamed for it going wrong. I spoke to the supervisor. There was a lot of blame going around the room. Everybody was angry and frustrated. They expressed their anger verbally. You shut down.”

“So I should yell.”

“No, that would be as unhelpful as shutting down. I can teach you constructive ways of dealing with anger if you let me.”

“It is easier to walk away.”

“Easier, yes. But is it the better way?”

“What happens now?”

“That depends on you. Normally, when there is conflict between students, we arrange a managed Reconciliation Meeting with both of you to see if we can find a way forward.”

“How often does that work?”

“More often than you would expect, that’s why we do it.”

“What about Perfiti?”

“She is annoyed with herself. She was pushing you to see how you would react, but you didn’t react how she expected, and she pushed too hard. It is our job to push students in different situations so they are prepared for the real world.”

“She wanted me to cave and give in.”

“She is surprised you didn’t.”

“Everybody is pushing me. The only person who didn’t push and just said thank you is the Goddess of Death.”

“Pushing people is usually how you get people to grow. We are an academy. We push people to grow.”

“It is a good academy. I have learned a lot.”

“Thank you. Do you want to keep learning and growing?”

“I probably do.”

“I will arrange the Reconciliation Meeting then.”

I nodded.

“If you feel you are being pushed too far, why don’t you come and see me, and we can talk about it.”

“That is an option.” I nodded. “I am not sure I am worth it, though.”

“You are most definitely worth it.”

“I might need to stay here tonight and get my head straight.”

“I will let your roommates know where you are so they don’t worry.”