Shades of the New World

"You sound like a terribly irresponsible mom" Evin teased, not noticing the unusual tone.

"Don't judge me by human standards. I gave them best education they could receive,"

"Where's the father, by the way? Can I see him?"

Hearing the question, Rith's playful side slowly went away.

"Why?" she asked, fear and panic in her gestures.

"Just curious… Hey, you ok? Don't force yourself if you don't want to," Evin finally noticed that something was wrong with Rith.

'Does being pregnant affect her mood somehow? I'm sure I would never see her so vulnerable if she wasn't pregnant or something,' thought Evin briefly.

"You know, I'll just show you," Rith said and jumped on the window porch.

She meowed inconspicuously for a little while, and another cat appeared next to her soon after. It was a black cat with slight hints of white in its fur. The two cats came down next to Evin. The newcomer had in his mouth what seemed to be a dead rat, which he quickly put it in in front of Rith.

"He seems nice, helps you feed and everything," Evin joked and tried to pet the black cat. He was met with a hiss and a swipe from his claw, a clear warning from the street cat.

"He's feral, so I don't think he'll let you have your way with it," Rith smiled and took a bite from the offering.

Evin gave up on the black cat and went on to bother Rith. As he started petting her as she had her way with the meal, the black cat started eyeing Evin suspiciously.

"Aw, he's jealous. He clearly doesn't want me touching his beloved," Evin smiled and snuggled up closer to Rith.

"You're probably the only toddler in the World to hug a Feline while it's eating a dead rat. Even if you don't feel disgust, at least have some fear for infections," reprimanded Rith.

"Staying in a bit of a dirty environment is actually good for my immune system. I know that people who live in places devoid of any dirt, usually end up suffering right after they leave their clean space. And if that rat was really infected, then I can only curse my luck and pay for a mage to heal me," Evin shrugged.

"Don't spout bullshit excuses," Rith rolled her eyes.

"It's not bullshit. It's science. Anyway, I saw cats feed on whatever they found or hunted maybe a thousand times in my past life, so I don't really feel any disgust from it," Evin said indistinctively.

"How? I don't really know feral cats who allow a human to watch it eat their meal"

Evin still wasn't sure if he should reveal that he was a spirit. He didn't think that it was something that he absolutely needed to keep in secret, but he still didn't want to look like he was playing victim. But since the cat asked for it, he didn't mind telling some info.

"I was actually dead for most of my time in the previous World. I died when I was 26, but for some reason, my soul didn't disappear, and I had to wander the world alone for a few centuries," Evin finally revealed.

He also felt that Rith wanted to say something, but was hesitating on whether or not she should open up. So he wanted to open up to her first, so she would feel a bit comfortable. After spending so much time with her, he was also starting to trust the Feline much more than he first met her.

"Are you serious? You couldn't even talk to anyone else? Wasn't there other spirits like you, at least?" Rith asked, shocked.

"There were other spirits, but they would usually be in an insane state, with no ability to communicate properly. I could never find other spirits with their sanity intact. I used to wander in many battlefields, hoping that one of the dead would turn into a spirit like me, but even after they reanimate, they would soon become insane," Evin said and had a brief pause. He shook his head and continued soon after.

"But I did have one thing going for me. For unknown reasons, some cats could see me. I don't know how that was possible, but they didn't mind my presence, only staring at me with mild curiosity and indifference. It wasn't much, but it was one of the few moments I felt alive. Soon after, they would open up to me a bit, letting me be around them,"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, but it was very rare. I only met six cats that could see me in the span of three hundred years. I'd stay with them if I ever found one, a brief respite during my long journey of loneliness. They would die after a little more than a decade, and then I'd move on…" Evin spoke with sadness.

"I don't know what to tell you…" Rith said, with a complicated expression on her face.

"You don't have to. I got my second chance at life, and all of that is in the past. I can sometimes think about those memories, but I won't linger on them too long," Evin reassured the Feline and gently petted her, and the awkward atmosphere died out soon after.

During the conversation, Evin could notice that the black cat started ignoring him and only looked at Rith with fascination and adoration. It looked weirdly human, the way its eyes gently observed Rith. Like he didn't want to bother her too much, but couldn't help but throw a glance soon after. Like he wanted to get close and be with her, but was afraid that she will reject him. Only looking from a distance, his gaze filled with affection.

"He really does love you, doesn't he?" Evin couldn't help but say.

"Yes… and that's… kinda shit…" Rith sighed sadly.

Evin nodded silently, without urging Rith to say anything.

"My brother says that it is best for us to take control of our emotions. It's okay to listen to it, it's okay to feel affection and have fun with life like everyone else. But when it comes to your job, you must never let your emotions cloud your judgement. The Ancestor… His orders are absolute. And his order was to actively create more of our kind, to save our small-minded brethren from the depths of ignorance"

"My brother's way of living… I don't really hate it. I understand that it's a way of living different from mine, and that's okay. He gives his best in his job, and although he doesn't have a beloved, he still enjoys himself with various female Felines and normal cats alike. Contributing to one of our causes"

"Honestly, he is probably the biggest contributor. As far as I know he should have fathered thousands of kittens all around the World," Rith joked.

"I would never have imagined him in that way. He felt like the type that tries to keep traditions same," Evin was flabbergasted.

"He is, but tradition for him is the words of our Ancestor. If our Ancestor tells him to die, he will gladly give his life," Rith sighed.

"But sadly, I cannot be like him. Casually have some kittens and say I'm serving our kind… You know, I've had 89 kittens during my life, and I remember every one of them… It's a weird thing. I think about them all the time, and honestly, I'm excited to have more. I never felt that my kittens were a burden to me, I love them all the same…" she trailed off the topic again.

Evin could imagine what it felt like, but he could never say he understood how it felt. He could not act like he knew what Rith was talking about. He could only wait silently and hope she would narrate it herself.

"But it all… It feels wrong. Just… look at him," she said and pointed at the black cat, "Worry and affection smeared all over his face. He can't understand what we're saying, but he can certainly feel that it's something unpleasant. A normal cat would not be able to tell the difference. But this one… This one has emotions. And he…" her voice fell off again. With difficulty she managed to finish her sentence, "He loves me. And it's… It's just,"

"Suffocating," Evin finished the sentence for her.

"Yes…" Rith sighed out. Her breathing became rough and slight sniffles came out of her.

Evin could sympathize with her. After all, he saw many similar things happen to people in his previous life. One of the women who he fell for and started stalking in his previous life also met a similar experience in their life.

He could share some of such stories with Rith, show her how others solved such problems. Perhaps one of them will actually be of help to her. He could tell her a story of a woman who eventually killed herself due to her dissatisfaction with her husband, one she married because of pity. Or he could tell her a story of someone successfully breaking free from her toxic relationship and then living a better life.

But those problems were all too different from Rith's. Evin couldn't tell if whether Rith was feeling pity for the black cat, or if she was feeling like some sort of breeding cat due to her Ancestor's orders. Perhaps she feels jealous of her brother's carefree lifestyle, or if she wishes to settle down with one Cosmic for the rest of her life. Or maybe she feels everything all at once.

So, he chose not to share his stories. He knew that Rith didn't really want to hear someone talk about her problems like they understood her completely. She just wanted to vent. To get it out there. To have someone listen.

Evin silently petted the large cat, silently comforting her. The black cat also came and started licking Rith, slightly scared and wary. Rith's rough and uneven breathing soon calmed down. Her sniffles died out. And she soon let out a refreshed sigh.

"This is probably the worst monitoring job I've ever done," she weakly joked.

"Hah, I just hope you'll be lenient with your judgement," Evin said sarcastically.

"Humph, this and that are different things. We, Cosmics of the Elmes Group, pride ourselves with our Cosmic Professionalism," Rith retorted, evidently feeling much better.

Evin shrugged in response and continued enjoying Rith's soft fur.

'I wonder what she will do to solve her problems, though,' he pondered.

'Perhaps when the Cosmics feel that their population has increased enough, she'll settle down with a Feline she fancies,'

"How old do Felines live?" he suddenly asked.

"About three centuries. Why?" Rith answered with her mouth filled with a dead rat.

"Just curious"

Evin wanted to ask her age, but didn't know if female Felines were also sensitive to such topics like some humans. He could only shake his head and give up.