Shades Of Forever

Greetings, future security specialist/ship captain/titan of industry/expendable meat fodder (CHOOSE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE BEFORE INTEGRATING WITH CUSTOMER), and welcome to your complimentary lesson on galactic conflict, the first in our seventy-eight part series! By choosing the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module, you are guaranteeing yourself the highest legally defensible survival rate in violent non-causal interactions, and a fast-track ticket to success (not legally binding)! In addition, remember that completing this course with a greater than 95% final score entitles you to a discount on ONE (1) Hypertron self-defense item of your choice! (Class 2 or lower, no refunds, most exceptions apply, offer not valid in the contiguous fifty-seven Non-Corporate States and the Eyeless Temple of Ba'alskrek, must complete entire course to qualify)

Now let's get to the learning!

As you've no doubt absorbed during your pre-integration training (STRIKE THIS PART IF CUSTOMER IS INVOLUNTARILY VOLUNTEERED VIA WAGE DEBT OR CRIMINAL RECORD OR UNDESIRABLE STATUS), the modern galactic sovereignty is somewhat of a mess! While Hypertron Heavy Industries works tirelessly to keep the peace and provide stable jobs for its billions of lucky shareholders, earning a stellar combined 9.9 rating out of 10 in all surveys conducted in Hypertron space, other corporations, sadly, are not as nobly committed to upholding the blazing beacon of justice. Corporate restructurings and capital readjustments with Lockmartin Combined Arms, Jinseki Limited, Wutan-Weylan, and the Voidmarch are unfortunately quite common, and as such, you need to know how to present yourself as a proper employee at all times!

When confronting a potentially hostile shareholder of another corpo, your first reaction should be to use conventional weaponry. This includes pulse rifles, multi-missile cluster launchers, coherent light emitters, thermal agitators, fusion rounds, anti-matter ordnance, and other causal methods, including your nails and teeth. Remember, keeping it in our reality keeps everyone clean!

Should the enemy be utilizing non-causal methods of avoidance (covered in lesson thirteen of the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module), then you might have to resort to non-causal weaponry. Now, naturally, this is an expected escalation, agreed to by all signatories of the Grunfer-Jacobs Extra-Dimensional Warcrimes Treaty (Hypertron Heavy Industries cannot be held legally liable for non-causal weapon use in non-signatory areas), and as such, you should respond in kind. Nightmare spheres, concept bombs, irrationality missiles, and ego-crushers (covered in lesson thirty-two of the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module) are all perfectly valid responses to someone you suspect utilizing non-causal means! Remember, it's not a warcrime if you feel it's warranted!

Unfortunately, sometimes the filthy sub-human trying to wipe you, your entire family, and your ancestors from the skein of existence will try and escalate back (covered in lesson fifty-one of the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module). When this happens, don't fret! The latest advances in non-causal research indicate that a high concentration of inimical energies in a sphere defined by the square root of the cubic volume of irrational energy as expressed by the Fibonacci Sequence (covered in lesson eighty two of the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module) might cause a reality breach, but legally speaking, it's not your fault! As long as you can establish prior intent to utilize non-causal methods (covered in lesson A54.πthreeve of the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module) from the other party, then you have nothing to worry about! Hypertron's well-trained team of non-causal lawyers will immediately arrive to defend your actions (covered in ERROR NOT FOUND) as legally required by our corporate charter!

Should your actions result in a reality breach that involves Entity-class or higher involvement, Hypertron Heavy Industries is not obligated to notify your next of kin under any circumstances, and you hereby revoke any attempts by anyone, anytime, anywhere to recover damages from Hypertron Heavy Industries in any infinity this contract remains valid under (and it's all of them).

Congratulations on completing lesson one of the Hypertron Heavy Industries training module! We look forward to your future service!

ADDENDUM: added by USER UNKNOWN

Can you believe this corpo-shit? Look, if you're at all in charge of people, you break it down to them like this:

We use causals as long as they're using causals. When someone escalates, we escalate back. If reality comes fucking around because we dumped too many non-causals in the area, we drop hostilities and deal with that shit. Then the survivors get back to fucking each other up.

Voidmarch, out.