Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

I walked into gym class wearing the approved gym exercise outfit and my head was filled with robotics facts and figures, procedures of what to do and not to do, and some of those I had already figured out a few bypasses. As far as I was concerned, it was a completely underutilized aspect of science. A lot of things could be made for a normal person to use and a bunch more for just having fun.

“Ben!” Liz called out and waved at me.

I changed direction from walking towards my classmates to where Liz stood with hers. “Hello, ladies.”

“Hi.” “Hey.” “Hello.” Liz and the two friends I had met before said.

“You must think you're going to be popular now.” A girl I hadn't met before said.

“I haven't rubbed Liz across my head a bunch of times yet, so I doubt it.” I said and Liz blushed, her friends laughed, and the one who spoke looked surprised.

“You mean like static electricity.” She responded.

“Hey! You got it.” I praised her and reached out to shake her hand. “I'm Ben, the potential boyfriend of a certain angel, as soon as I get my life settled and she decides I'm good enough to kiss her feet.”

That set her two friends off again and they laughed some more.

“I'm Max.” She said and shook my offered hand. She had short curly hair and a squinted-eye look. I couldn't tell if she always looked that way or it was just with me. Probably just with me.

“I'm sorry if my presence might potentially mean you get to spend less time around the tall and gorgeous beauty within your midst.” I said and let her hand go without trying to kiss the back of it. Now was not the time for those kinds of antics. “In case you were wondering, I meant Liz specifically, even though it could be applied to the two giggle machines I don't know the names of.”

Liz laughed this time. “The blonde on the left is Gina and the one on the right...”

“...will try to steal you before you two can seal the deal.” She interrupted with a crooked smile. “Val.”

“That's short for Valium, right?” I asked to make her laugh and shook her hand.

“Valerie, smart ass.” She said and let my hand go. “I like funny guys.”

“I'll be shutting up now.” I joked and she laughed. I held my hand out to the third girl. “Hi, Gina. You must have a great time with friends like these around.”

“Sometimes it's entertaining.” Gina said and shook my hand.

“How did music class go?” Liz asked me.

“About as bad as I expected.” I said and she looked sad. “Did you know Peter played the clarinet?”

Liz shook her head. “The school band hasn't played at a game yet with the freshmen section.”

“At least I won't be embarrassing myself by not being smart enough to stay in music class.” I said and she took my hand and held it.

“I'm sure you'll catch up soon. It's only been a week since you started.” Liz said to comfort me.

“Thanks, Liz. With a woman like you in my corner, how could I ever fail?”

“By being yourself.” Flash said as he walked over and glared at me.

“Restraining order, you flashing pervert!” I said back without looking and the girls around me laughed.

Flash made a growling sound and kept walking.

“Do you really have one?” Max asked when he was far enough away to not hear.

“Nah, it was too much hassle to spend the day downtown to get one. Just the rumor I have one is working well enough.” I said and she nodded. “Although, I could fake one up and make it a thousand feet, so he can't be anywhere in the school while I'm here.”

Val laughed softly. “And because it's fake, he'll get tardy slips galore and have no excuse!”

I nodded. “It's a bit cruel to keep doing things to him, though. I feel so bad for him.”

“Why?” Liz asked.

“His mom named him Eugene. Eugene! Can you imagine?!?” I exclaimed and they laughed, even Max.

“That's enough socializing!” A tall black man shouted. “We're doing basic ball drills and then laps! Excuses are for wusses! Get over to your proper class and get to work! Your year reps will get you sorted.”

“That's Andre Wilson.” Liz whispered. “He's a tough teacher but a great coach.”

“For what?” I asked.

Liz gave me a sad smile as she stepped close. “Football and basketball.”

“Good sports, I suppose.” I said as she slipped her arms around me.

“What would you play if you could?” Liz asked as she looked into my eyes.

“Baseball.” I whispered back. “I'd be the home run king and the best outfielder in existence.”

Liz's sad smile changed to a happy one. “Maybe you'll dedicate a home run to me one day?”

“I'll even point where it'll go and say I'm hitting it right to you.” I said and she leaned down to give me a kiss.

“Have fun playing with the other kids.” Max said with a bit of meanness.

“That is usually what you do with kids.” I said as Liz let me go. “How about I dedicate a basket to you?”

“From where? The first two point line near the basket?” Max asked.

“How about from half-court?” I asked and her eyes widened.

“I told you I'd get you back, Penis Parker!” Flash said and ran over to the coach. “Coach! COACH!”

“Max!” Liz spat and her friends looked sad.

“S-sorry.” Max said and ducked her head a little.

“It's all right.” I said and stepped close to kiss Max on the cheek. “You keep protecting your friends.”

Max blushed and nodded.

“Is it true, Parker?” Coach Wilson asked as he came over with a bunch of students behind him.

“Yes, Eugene is his real name and he prefers being called Flashing Pervert instead.” I said and nearly everyone laughed. “I mean, who wouldn't?”

The black man ignored my joke and tossed me a basketball. “Go ahead. Show me what you got.”

“Sorry, coach. I'm saving myself for my girlfriend.” I said and everyone laughed.

“Just take the shot.” The coach said.

“I'm not trying out for the team.” I warned him and walked over to the middle of the floor. “I did just get an appropriate nickname for the back of the jersey, though.”

Liz blushed and Gina and Val giggled while Max looked surprised.

I bounced the ball several times to get a feel for it. I could almost see the mathematical formulas in my head for velocity, force, angled trajectory, force reflection and refraction, gravity, and even air resistance. I imagined that Peter always saw things this way when he did things as Spider-Man.

“Any day now.” The coach said.

“Do you want it off the backboard or just all net?” I asked and the crowd of students started muttering.

“I'll let you hang out with your girlfriend for the rest of the afternoon if you can sink it without touching the backboard or the rim.” Coach Wilson said.

“I'll do it from the end of the court for that!” I exclaimed, which made Liz blush, her friends almost squeal with happiness, and everyone really started muttering.

“Try to complete this boast before making another one.” The coach said.

“Yes, sir.” I said and looked at the basket. I bounced the basketball twice more, then I grabbed it and hopped up into the air about four feet and threw it.

The entire gym full of students hushed and watched the ball arc across the distance, almost like it was moving in slow motion, then the swish of a perfect basket echoed into the silence.

“Jesus Christ, he actually did it.” Someone said into the silence.

“Again.” The coach said and several balls were tossed towards me. “Once was a fluke.”

I caught each ball and placed them at my feet, surprising a few people. I thought about not doing it, then shrugged. I picked up a ball and did the exact same shot. The swish of nothing but net was still loud in the silence.

“How did you do that?” Someone else asked.

“Math and geometry.” I said and picked up the next ball. “Mass times acceleration, applicable force to negate the pull of gravity for just the right amount of time, thrown at the right angle...” I didn't jump this time and swished the basketball again. “Off the backboard.” I said and tossed the next one and did just that. “Bounced once off the floor.”

Everyone stared as I whipped a ball at the floor about ten feet from where I stood and the basketball made another swish sound as it passed through the net.

“I can't generate enough force to bounce it twice and have it go in. I'd need to be about thirty feet up for that to work.” I said and picked up one more ball. I walked across the gym and stopped at the far corner of the marked area of the basketball court.

I took careful aim as I leaned back and pretended that I needed to, in order to generate enough force to throw it, then launched the ball into a high arcing lob. It took several seconds for it to go all the way across the gymnasium and the ball swished right through the net. Everyone looked stunned.

I walked back over to Liz and ignored everyone else. “What do seniors do during gym class anyway?”

Liz looked just as stunned as everyone else, then she seemed to shake herself. “A more advanced and detailed workout than first years.” She said and beamed a smile at me. “Hitting a home run isn't going to be a problem for you, is it?”

“They'll never get a ball past me through the strike zone.” I said and beamed a smile right back at her.

“I believe it.” Liz said and then blushed. “Penis Parker? Really?”

“He thought it was going to be an insult.” I said with a laugh, because my words earlier had come true. Gym class was definitely going to be more interesting from now on.

*

I was freshly showered and dressed in normal clothes again as I walked with Liz out of the school. I also carried a box of books and guides for the academic decathlon.

“Thanks for carrying that for me, Ben.” Liz said as we approached the large parking lot.

“I'm glad I could help you in some capacity with the team.” I said and she sighed. “I'm sorry I'm not a viable option anymore. I just don't have the knowledge needed.”

“I know. I'm just glad we have enough time to practice with your replacement before the state competition.” Liz said and her hand rested on my shoulder. “It's not your fault that you can't participate like Peter used to.”

“It's weird that I don't have his memories, you know? I mean, it's the same brain. The information is there, I just can't access it until I see it again and then make the mental connection.” I said.

“Which you can't really do for anything except subjects he liked or things he had written down. Everything else is you just stumbling around in the dark and hoping you'll remember something.”

“That's it exactly. I haven't even made a proper mental connection with May and I know she's the only family I have.” I said and Liz gave me a sad look. “It's okay. I've made a whole bunch of my own connections with her and life at home is the best!”

“I completely agree with that.” A familiar woman's voice said as she stepped out of the passenger side of an expensive car.

“Doris?” I asked and couldn't hide the surprise I felt seeing her.

“Mom?” Liz asked and my mouth dropped open. “How do you know Ben?”

Doris smirked at me. “I took part of an afternoon off and visited with one of the nurses I haven't seen in a while. Her name is May. May Parker.”

“You're Liz's mom.” I said. Crap, crap, crap!

“And you are apparently a friend of my daughter's.” Doris said and her smile grew as she saw Liz's hand on my shoulder. “Or is it more than that?”

“It better not be.” A man's voice said as the driver's side door of the car opened.

“Dad!” Liz said and blushed with embarrassment as she removed her hand from my shoulder.

A white man stepped out of the car and I saw that he wore casual clothes. He was also a bit older than Doris and he smiled at both his wife and daughter. When his eyes went to me, they stilled and seemed to bore through me. I didn't care about his close examination, because I recognized him.

He was Adrian Toomes, the Vulture. Or would become him if he wasn't yet. My mind whirled as I thought about the timeline I believed I was in and realized it was a bit different than what I remembered or assumed.

“I'm just looking out for your best interests, Liz.” Adrian said.

“He really is.” I said and the three of them looked at me with surprise on their faces. “He loves his family and he'll do anything he can for them.”

“Do you know me?” Adrian asked, pointedly.

“Only by reputation, sir.” I said. “When Doris was talking to May about her Addy and how his salvage business was taking off, it never occurred to me to connect that to Adrian Toomes and Bestman Salvage.”

“Ben, how do you know about that?” Liz asked with an odd look on her face.

“On Wednesday I had Civil Engineering and then Business Economics. Can you guess what the subject was?” I asked and Liz relaxed.

“They're teaching about me in school?” Adrian asked, surprised.

“Your company is a prime example of practical applications of both civil engineering and also business economics. The teacher said you had to strike while the iron was hot and that you filled a niche that people didn't even realized was needed.” I said and he nodded. “You essentially created your own market share, sir.”

Adrian looked pleased at hearing that. “I'm a subject in school.”

“Yes, sir. I would like to talk to you about it whenever you have some free time. I think my teachers would get a kick out of my class reports if I can get a few quotes directly from someone that uses their course materials for practical applications every day.”

Adrian gave me another pointed look. “We're going away for the weekend and I can't spare any time.”

“Oh, I didn't mean right now, sir.” I said and moved the box I held. “I was just helping Liz with this.”

Adrian nodded and put a hand on my shoulder as he led me around the car, then he opened the trunk for me. He waited until I bent over to put the box into the trunk before he leaned in close to whisper. “I don't want some punk sniffing around my daughter.”

“We've only kissed a couple of times and I plan on asking her out next week or the week after.” I whispered back and he looked surprised that I would admit it and not deny it. “I've been flirting with her all week and I had no idea she was your daughter.”

Adrian looked like he relaxed, then his eyes hardened. “You are not going to use her and drop her.”

I heard the order and shook my head. “I've never had a serious girlfriend before and I think she's great. I want to be someone that she can be proud of.” I said and he nodded. “In fact, if you're looking for an assistant or something, maybe a gofer on the weekends, I'd be willing to apply for the position.”

“So, you are going to use her. To get to me.” Adrian whispered in a deadly voice.

“No, sir. You misunderstand. I'm asking because May is struggling with paying for this school, my books, food, and rent. She works her ass off and we consider it splurging when we buy fresh fruit and not cans.” I said and he looked surprised. “I promised her I would get a part time job to help out. That I met you today, right after one of the best and worst weeks of school I've ever had, seems like fate.”

Adrian looked thoughtful before he spoke. “Best and worst? How did that come about?”

I turned my head and showed off the bald patch. “Amnesia. Half of the students in my classes blame me for forgetting things I don't remember and the other half don't really care. Some of the teachers don't believe me, either.”

“Damn, kid.” Adrian said and let out a little sigh. “I don't need an assistant or anything.”

“That's okay, sir. I had to ask. It just seemed like a perfect opportunity, you know?” I asked him and he looked thoughtful again. I hoped he remembered my comment about striking while the iron was hot.

“What are your Mondays like?” Adrian asked.

“I have only two classes. Math first thing in the morning and geography for second period in the afternoon. I had to drop the other classes and it cleaned out most of the day.”

Adrian smiled briefly and then gave me a stern look. “Give me your address.” He ordered and I did so. “You're skipping Monday. I'll pick you up at seven sharp.”

“I'll be ready, sir.” I said and closed the trunk.

The worried looks on Liz's and her mother's faces made me smile. Adrian had a smile on his face, too.

“I almost spilled the box and Mr. Toomes was kind enough to tell me how to keep everything nice and clean.” I said and they both relaxed. I walked over to Liz and looked up slightly at her face. “Have a great time with your family this weekend and I'll see you on Tuesday for lunch.”

“Tuesday?” Liz asked.

“I only have math and geography on Monday, so I'm skipping to do some important research.” I said and Liz looked surprised. “Don't worry, I've got my excuse card. I'll get it checked on Tuesday.”

“No, it's not that.” Liz said. “Peter would never skip class voluntarily. He was kind of anal like that.”

“I can't express how happy I am that I don't have as big of a stick up my ass as Peter did.” I said with a grin.

“Ben!” Liz gasped, Doris chuckled, and Adrian barked a laugh.

“Get in. We have a plane to catch.” Adrian ordered and climbed into the car.

Liz gave me a longing look. “Ben, my dad...”

“It's okay.” I said and stood on my toes to give her a quick kiss. “I respect both you and your father... and his ability to handle heavy machinery to deal with me if I get out of hand.”

Adrian looked happy and Doris smacked his arm playfully.

“See you later.” I said and opened the rear car door for her.

“See you.” Liz said and climbed in.

I shut the door and watched as they drove off.