Self Insert as Spider-Man MCU

I groaned as I opened my eyes. I felt horrible and I wasn't sure why. My head was splitting and it felt like all of my muscles were seized up and I couldn't move. I started to panic at being trapped in my own body and my mind raced as I tried to yell or scream for help. Nothing worked.

Just when I thought I was going to black out from a massive panic attack, it was like my brain connected to my nervous system. My entire body felt like lightning went through it and then it was gone. Everything felt fine. It was such a shock and a relief that I actually did pass out.

I woke up sometime later and everything I had felt before was forgotten as I felt a surge of strength fill me. My brain seemed to have released some endorphins while I was unconscious, because I felt wonderful. I felt like I could take on the world and I climbed out of my sweat soaked bed. I pulled the sheets off of it and bundled them up before I tossed them into the corner where my laundry basket was... and heard them as they flopped to the floor.

I looked over to the corner and the basket was gone. As was my dresser. I was confused by that, since it had been in my room since I was a kid. I turned around and my eyes widened at what I was seeing. My room was now half the size that it used to be and it also didn't have any of my stuff in it. The desk was different and was in the wrong place, the posters were gone, and my computer was missing.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked and jerked slightly, because that wasn't my voice.

I glanced around and looked for a reflective surface. I couldn't see any, so I went out the only door and looked around. I saw a bathroom through an open door and dashed inside to look into the mirror.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Tom Holland's face said to me.

“Peter? Is that you?!?” A woman's voice shouted. “You're going to be late to school if you don't get your ass moving!”

“Crap! Crap crap crap! Double crap!” I exclaimed and looked down at myself. The clothes I wore were not mine and they were as soaked as the bed sheets had been. I pulled them off and hopped into the shower to take the quickest shower in history. I couldn't worry about what was going on yet, because I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do about not having any clue of what was going on.

I hopped out of the shower after only a couple of minutes, mostly dried myself off, and ran back to my room. Or Peter's room. I couldn't see a clothes dresser anywhere, so I opened the sliding door at the side of the room and stared at the clothes.

“Peter's a dork.” I muttered and rifled through the clothes there. I picked the least geeky jeans and a t-shirt that said Midtown High on it. I was not wearing any of the other t-shirts with math formulas, weird academic sayings, or kid designs on them.

By the time I was dressed, I had a solid plan in mind and thought it would be the best way to explain my apparent lack of knowledge about anything. I left the small bedroom and went to the stairs. I was in luck, because the railing was metal and right at the best angle for what I was stupidly about to do.

Without a thought to the consequences of my actions, I intentionally tripped at the top of the stairs and practically threw myself down the stairs as I aimed the side of my head for the metal railing. It wasn't until I was soaring through the air at a much faster speed than I had intended, that I realized I could have just whacked my head on the railing and pretended I fell down the stairs.

With a yelp of fright that I didn't have to fake, my head slammed into the railing with a resounding gong and I tumbled the rest of the way down the stairs to the floor.

“PETER!” The woman yelled as I landed on my back and my head thumped onto the floor.

I blinked my eyes several times and tried to get my eyes to focus properly. I had apparently rung my own bell a lot harder than I had meant to, because the three faces that hovered over me were not coming together at all.

“So pretty.” I said and the three faces blushed. “Which one of you is real?”

“Oh, god.” The woman whispered and touched my head.

“Ow.” I said and she let out a scared sound as she lifted her hand and it had blood on it. “So, the one on the left is real. Good to know.”

“Peter, I... I need to...”

“Band-aid?” I asked.

“You're going to need stitches, you clumsy fool.” The woman said and disappeared for a few moments, then pressed something to my head. “Hold that and I'll call an ambulance.”

“What for?” I asked.

“You just brained yourself falling down the stairs!” The woman exclaimed.

“I'm fine.” I said, even though I didn't actually feel that way.

“Oh, yeah? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“The one on the left is holding up three fingers.” I said.

“What about the others?” She asked.

“Three each.” I responded.

The woman sighed and put my hand on the cloth. “I'll just be a minute.”

“Call a taxi instead.” I said and she gave me a look. “It's cheaper than an ambulance.”

The woman nodded and disappeared from sight.

I laid there and regretted acting so rashly, just to explain away not remembering anything. Then again, I didn't have to pretend being hurt or that I hit my head pretty damn hard. It throbbed when I thought that and I lamented in my head at being proven right so quickly.

“At least you're dressed.” The woman said and knelt beside me. “Can you sit up? The taxi will be here in ten minutes.”

I nodded and groaned at the movement.

“Don't do that, Peter.” She said and helped me to sit up.

The world swam a little and I was pretty sure I had given myself a concussion. “I think I have a concussion.”

“You'll be lucky if you didn't split your skull.” The woman huffed. “I heard how hard you hit the rail from the kitchen.”

“I hope I didn't dent the railing too much.” I said and she shook her head.

“You're not that hard-headed.” She said and motioned to me to try and stand.

It took a minute for us to manage it and the world swam a little more. I clung to her and tried to keep my balance. The worry on her face was sad to see, so I tried to be brave about it.

“I'm sure it's not that bad. I'm already feeling better.” I said and she didn't believe me.

She helped me put on sneakers and a jacket and we went to the elevator.

“We should bring a plastic bag.” I suggested and eyed the elevator with trepidation.

“Lean there and don't move.” The woman said and ran back to the apartment. She came back with a white kitchen garbage bag and I accepted it gratefully.

I only threw up once in the elevator, which I would later deem as an achievement, because I threw up four times in the taxi and twice as we sat in the waiting room of the hospital.

Three hours later, I had twelve stitches on the side of my head, a bald patch around the scar, and the official diagnosis of a concussion. A bit of pain medication was applied, quite liberally, and I was a happy camper as we rode in a taxi home. I hugged the woman and held her the entire time and she didn't push me away or looked uncomfortable.

We arrived back at the building this had started in and the woman paid the cab driver. I was feeling a lot better and we hadn't needed the garbage bag, which was a relief for both the cabbie and the woman. We rode the elevator up and I didn't react to the movement. The woman gave me a happy smile as she led me down the hallway to the apartment and opened the door.

“Home sweet home.” I said and looked around.

“Peter, you can't go anywhere for the rest of the day.” The woman said as she sat me on the couch in the living room.

“No school?” I asked and she shook her head. “Woohoo!”

The worried look was back on her face. “Peter, you...” She stopped and sighed. “I have to get to work, even if it's only for half a day.” She lightly touched my forehead. “I hate to leave you here alone, against doctor's orders; but, the medical bill is going to take time to pay off and...”

“I'm fine.” I said and actually felt like it. “I can't feel it anymore.” I lifted a hand to rub the bandage.

The woman lightly slapped my hand away from it. “It's numb, so don't touch it.”

“Kay.” I said and looked at the couch. “I'm going to lay down for a bit.”

“No!” She gasped and then sighed again. She turned on the television and put the remote in my hand. “Watch that and tell me about what you saw when I come home.”

“Sure.” I said and stared at the television. “See you later.”

The woman gave me one more sad look before she left the apartment.

I did as she said and watched whatever it was on the television. I had no clue what I was watching, though. I had never seen anything like it before and I had no mental frame of reference for it. I didn't think that was odd, considering I was inside the body of someone else. It was kind of weird that woman kept calling me Peter when I was inside Tom Holland.

I fell asleep sitting up and didn't even realize it.

“Peter!” The woman from earlier gasped when she entered the apartment.

“Huh? What?” I asked and opened my eyes. My head felt a lot clearer than it had before my fall.

“How long have you been asleep?” She asked me as she sat beside me and looked into my eyes.

“No idea.” I said and decided to start the necessary ruse. I glanced down to look at her hand and then back up to her face. “You're not wearing a ring, so I guess that means we're not married.”

“Wh-wh-what?” She asked, clearly surprised.

“I'm trying to figure out who you are.” I said and took her hand. I tried to not laugh at her shocked face. “Are you my girlfriend? Is that why I find you so pretty?”

“Buh... but... but, you...” The woman stammered and then shook her head. “Peter, stop being silly.”

“You keep calling me that.” I said and gave her a confused face. “Who's Peter?”

Her mouth dropped open and she stared at me like I had lost my mind. In a sense, I had.

“In fact, can you tell me your name?” I asked and reached up to lightly touch her cheek. “It's a shame to have such a beautiful woman in front of me and I don't know who you are.”

She didn't react to either my words or to me touching her face.

I dropped my hand from her face and put that hand on the one of hers I still held. I didn't say anything else and sat there in silence with a calm look on my face. I didn't want to push things too much. I couldn't remember the name of the actress in front of me, so I needed her to tell me who she was.

It took her about five minutes before she worked through her shock and squinted her eyes at me.

“Peter Benjamin Parker! You cut that out right now.” The woman said in a stern voice.

I stared at her and blinked my eyes at her for several seconds. What she said couldn't be true. It was impossible. There was no way that I woke up this morning in... I looked down at my hand and saw two little marks on the back of it.

Oh, damn! Peter Parker died when he was bitten by the spider. I thought in realization. “Peter Parker.” I whispered. “I'm Peter Parker.”

“Yes, you are.” The woman said and tried to pull her hand from where I held it with both of mine. “Now stop acting foolish or I'm going to get angry.”

I held onto her hand. “But, if I'm Peter... then...” I paused and looked into her eyes. “You're May.”

“Of course, I'm May. Your Aunt May.” May said and looked down. “Let my hand go.”

“No.” I said and her eyes widened. “May, please understand. I really can't remember anything.”

“The doctor didn't say anything about amnesia.” May countered.

“He didn't ask me any questions except for how I was feeling, did he?” I asked.

May looked thoughtful. “I'm sure that... the concussion...”

“It could wear off eventually... or never.” I said and she caught her breath. “I could have permanent brain damage and I might never remember anything at all.”

“No, you... there's no way that...” May's voice trailed off and she turned her head to look away.

“I don't recognize anything in my room, the apartment, or even the address.” I said and she didn't look back at me. “What's an academic decathlon, anyway?”

May gasped and her head whipped around to stare at me. “Peter! How could you not know...”

“I saw a poster over the desk and I wondered what it was.” I said with a shrug.

“Peter...” May whispered and she sighed. “You're wearing your high school t-shirt.”

“Wait, I actually go there?” I asked and she sighed again. “What grade am I in?”

May put her free hand on her forehead and leaned back on the couch. “Please tell me you're faking it.”

I used my hands to put her other hand onto my bandage. “Does that feel fake?”

Tears came to May's eyes. “Oh, Peter!” She nearly shouted and pulled me into a hug. She cried pretty hard for about ten minutes and she held me tightly the whole time.

“I'm sorry, May. I really am.” I said when she let me go. “I don't even know where to start to try and learn things again.”

May wiped at her eyes and stared at her black fingertips. “Damn.”

“Now I'm doubly sorry.” I said and lightly touched her cheek. “You look like a sad raccoon.”

May let out a snort and then barked a laugh. “Thanks a lot.”

“I still think you're pretty.” I said with a smile.

“Now I know you're lying.” May said and stood up. “I need to wash up and then I'll start making dinner.”

“Why don't we order something instead. You're too tired to cook.”

“Peter, money's tighter now than it was before.” May said and glanced at my bandage.

“Another fifty bucks won't make much difference right now.” I said and she nodded. “I promise to get a part-time job and I'll start helping out more around here.”

May smiled. “You definitely lost your memory if you're offering to do housework.”

“Then take advantage of it.” I said and stood as well.

“What do you mean?” May asked me.

“I can't remember anything about what's going on, so you can tell me I always did something and I won't know any different.” I said and May stared at me with her mouth slightly open. “Do you need me to draw you a bath? Rub your aching feet? Massage your stiff neck?”

“P-Peter...”

“May.” I said and stepped close to her. “Right now, I'm pretty much a blank slate. Everything I do from now on could trigger a memory or even replace one. There's no way to know.” I took her hands again and placed them on my shoulders before I put my arms around her to hug her. “I am at your mercy and I am explicitly telling you that you can abuse it as much as possible, because I'm completely okay with that.”

May moved me back a little and looked into my eyes. “You really mean that.”

“Of course I do. You're my girlfriend, remember?”

May caught her breath. “Peter!”

“You didn't deny it when I asked before.” I said and smirked at her. “No take-backsies!”

“Oh, god.” May said and rested her forehead against mine. “I'm your aunt.”

“Are you really? Because I don't remember that.” I said with a big grin on my face.

May looked like she was trying to not laugh and shook her head. “I don't know if I like having a joking Peter around.”

“Give it time and it might grow on you.” I said. “Like a fungus.”

May laughed softly. “I'd rather a climbing vine and not something that could give me an infection.”

“One human limpet coming right right up!” I said and pretended to climb up her to make her laugh.

“Off! Off!” May said and managed to break free, so I chased her around the living room for a few seconds, then I pointed to the phone.

“You call for some food and I'll start the bath for you.” I said and went to the stairs. “By the time the food gets here, the tub should be full. When we eat, the hot water should be cooled enough for you to safely enter.”

“Peter, you don't have to do that.” May said and picked up the phone. “What would you like?”

“No idea.” I said and went up the stairs. “Why don't you surprise me?”

“Like you've surprised me so much today.” May whispered as she dialed the phone.

I could only agree with her whispered words, because it was a surprise to me as well. I couldn't remember how I came to be here and I was sure that it didn't matter, now that I was here.

I was Peter Parker, Spider-Man. Or I would be Spider-Man. Things might be different now, considering I had no idea what went on with Peter before he appeared in the movies. That meant I needed to do some major researching to discover where I was and what was going on, if anything.

With my luck, I was probably years before any of the information I knew about would come into play, assuming this was canon MCU and not an offshoot timeline or a multiverse thing. That wasn't an aspect I needed to worry about until I found out the current date and year, though. I wouldn't complain about it, either. Why would I?

I was goddamn Peter Parker after he got his powers and just before he became Spider-Man.