Scientific Sorcery : Beware of Kittens!

-=[Callista Liesl]=-

I watched nervously as Ioan continued to chop down trees, his movements methodical and purposeful.

Why was the Emissary of Heaven chopping down trees?

Maybe he was judging what it was like to be a woodcutter? Maybe his judgement of everyone and everything on Thornwild would be slow and meticulous, take centuries if not millennia. After all–if we Sorceresses enjoyed unnaturally long lives then the Celestial-born would be truly immortal, invincible to both time and sword and such immortality likely bred boredom.

Maybe all of this, pretending to be a clueless Nordstaii teen, allowing me to allure him, messing with the contracts, engaging in intellectual conversation with me over the political structures of Iridium, was simply just an amusing play, a mere game for the Celestial.

The Divine Wyrm remained perched on my shoulder. Her weight was slight, but her presence felt monumental. I couldn't help but feel that this was some sort of test of my new devotion.

I’ve never been big on worshiping any Beasts other than Goldara, but I supposed there was a first time for anything. Goldara definitely wasn’t here to save me and Stormy’s weight was. Goldara was but a Spirit projected into existence by the Corvix-made artefacts, existing only in Iridium, halfway across the known world. On the other hand, Stormy was immensely physical, absolutely real.

"Oh great and powerful Stormy," I murmured, careful not to disturb Ioan's work, "what wisdom do you wish to impart upon this humble servant?"

The kitten's eyes seemed to peer into my very soul. She let out a soft "Mrrp" that I desperately tried to interpret. Was it a sound of approval? A demand for worship? A cosmic riddle I was meant to unravel?

I hesitantly raised a hand to pet her, my fingers trembling slightly. "Your cosmic-void-fur is softer than the clouds of Heaven," I whispered in Castian, "and your eyes shine from within with the light of a thousand galaxies. Please take pity upon this lost Arcanicx, permit me to worship you. Cast your divine radiance upon me so that your Celestial Master does not drown the people of Iridium when his judgement is made.”

Stormy nodded in approval and began to purr, the vibrations resonating through my body. Surely this was a sign of divine satisfaction! Encouraged, I continued my praises and gentle pets, determined to prove my worth to the great Cosmophage.

Having assembled a wooden frame and stretched a Nordstaii banner over it, Ioan began to draw a circle segmented into parts on it, slowly filling it with what looked like some kind of a snowflake. A snowflake with replicating edges featuring triangles within triangles. Was this some kind of Celestial art or a device of great power?

Having approached a cliffside wall with the stretched banner, Ioan placed the frame against the stone wall, dug in his pocket for a moment.

The surface of the cliff next to the sleigh suddenly rippled in front of my eyes. I watched as Ioan grabbed an iron bucket and simply started to scoop stone away from the cliff as if it were a liquid. The hair on the back of my neck stood up at the impossibility of it all. How could mundane stone become liquid? Not a true liquid at that, but the kind that didn't even spill down!

Argh!

I itched to walk into the sleigh to pick up a Voicecast stone and the Farcast Orb and to call Mooni Cavil, my Corvix confidant.

Maybe if Moonalia was here, she could help me unravel all of this insanity, and explain what the shit was going on to my dumb Felix self. If she was here, maybe she could fix the runework on the Sleigh, maybe help me not feel so terrified of the future, of the Gygr, of Ioan and…

“Mrawrrr,” Stormy’s tiny teeth suddenly nipped my neck, not biting down.

“I–” I choked out. “I’m not gonna call Moonalia, I swear!”

Stormy let out a deep growl.

“I… I just thought about it, that’s all!” I stammered, blinking fast and trying not to break down. “I’m sorry! I’m scared. I’m just scared and I want to understand what your Master is doing, that’s all!”

The Elder Wyrm licked my neck with her coarse tongue, making me shudder.

"Right," Ioan commented. "This is working pretty well. Hey Cali, come over here and help me."

I nervously approached Ioan. Stormy remained perched on my shoulder, a constant reminder of the Elder Beast’s presence overseeing my every move.

"W-what do you need me to do?" I asked.

Ioan handed me another bucket, identical to the one he was using. "Just scoop the liquid stone and dump it over there," he said, gesturing to a growing pile of solidified rock.

I hesitated for a moment, then plunged my bucket into the impossibly fluid cliff face. The sensation was utterly bizarre - the stone flowed like water, yet retained a strange consistency that defied explanation. As I pulled the bucket out, the liquid stone wobbled inside.

With trembling hands, I carried the bucket to the designated spot and tipped it over. A second after the stone was taken from the wall, it solidified instantly inside the bucket, not quite connected to the iron. I tipped the heavy bucket over, its contents joining the pile of other bucket-shaped solid-rock pieces.

I tapped one of the stone cylinders on the ground with my fingers. It was solid rock.

Goldara’s tits! How?!

Ioan reached into the wall with his fingers and pulled out a liquid sphere. Before I could say anything, he chucked it at another cliff face. The moment the liquid left his fingers, it solidified. The stone sphere struck a cliff, plinging off it.

After a bit more bucket work, Ioan and I exhumed a cavern about 10 elbows wide and 5 elbows deep. For some inexplicable reason, the rock didn’t become liquid any further past this point.

Then, Ioan simply sat on the ground and began writing in his book, as if he was perfectly satisfied with the awkwardly-shaped, unfinished space.

“Are… are we done?” I asked him.

“For now,” he said.

Over the next few days, I watched as Ioan busied himself with various containers and substances he had retrieved from the sleigh.

The small cavern he had carved out of the cliff face was now serving as his makeshift workshop, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation about what he might be concocting.

He had laid out several ingredients on the ground: the bat guano we had collected earlier that he was doing something weird with for a few days with his wooden paddle, some yellowish crystals that smelled strongly of rotten eggs, and some other black stuff I couldn't identify. Possibly carbonized wood?

With meticulous care, he began mixing these components in specific ratios, occasionally consulting his mysterious book.

"What are you making?" I asked hesitantly, not sure if I truly wanted to know the answer.

Ioan glanced up at me, a glint in his silver-blue eyes that I couldn't quite decipher. "Oh, just a little something to help us deal with our... future issues," he said cryptically.

I nodded, pretending to understand, though in truth, I was completely lost.

Was this some sort of celestial alchemy? A potion to ward off the Jotuns? Or perhaps a concoction to cleanse the land of the Gygr's influence?

According to everything I knew, all alchemy required stardust cauldrons and ground-down Castian sea corals as the base for potions. Ioan didn’t seem to use any stardust or coral powder, so this couldn't be alchemy. Was this simply part of the game, just screwing around for the fun of it, the same as chopping trees?

As he worked, the air in the cavern began to fill with strange, pungent odors. My nose twitched, and I found myself edging closer to the entrance, seeking fresher air. Stormy remained perched on my shoulder, seemingly asleep.

After about a week of similarly bewildering work of what looked like grinding, drying and mixing, Ioan began carefully packing his mixture into small wooden barrels. He attached long, thin cords to each one, handling them with extreme care.

"There," he said finally, sitting back with a satisfied smile. "That should do it."

I stared at the innocuous-looking barrels, my mind racing with possibilities. What power did these simple objects hold? What celestial purpose were they meant to serve?

“Right,” he said. “Cali–get the horses to move the sleigh as far away from here as you can, over there, closer to the river.”

I guided the horses to move the sleigh away from the cavern, as Ioan had instructed. As we reached a spot closer to the river, I heard the patter of rapid footsteps behind me.

Ioan emerged from the cavern, his ever-present leather bag slung over his shoulders. He was running at full speed of a 200-star Champion towards me, feet barely touching the ground. In another moment, he stopped in front of me with a mischievous grin on his face that made my fur stand on end.

"You wanted me to show you more impossible things, yes?" he asked, not even panting after his run.

I nodded hesitantly, not entirely sure I was prepared for whatever demonstration he had in mind. Stormy, who had been dozing on my shoulder, suddenly perked up. Then she suddenly jumped from me into the sleigh, vanishing within, hiding herself in one of the cabinets. The odd behavior of the Cosmophage definitely didn’t bode well for whatever was about to happen.

“Watch and learn my kitten-wan,” Ioan said. “I’m about to do something with no magic whatsoever.”

“No magic?” I blinked.

“Was there any magic at all in any of my actions over the past week?” Ioan asked.

“I didn’t sniff any stardust on you or in that smelly stuff, no,” I replied.

Ioan quickly dragged me behind a large boulder and pointed his finger at the distant cavern in the cliff-face.

“Explode,” he said simply.

I waited with bated breath. Nothing happened. I glanced at Ioan who was squinting at the cavern.

“What?” I whispered. “What’s supposed to exp…”

I saw a blinding flash of light, followed by an enormous plume of smoke and debris rising from where the cavern had been. The cliff face seemed to disintegrate before my eyes, rocks and boulders flying in all directions. At the same time, a deafening roar shattered the air, so loud it felt like my eardrums might burst. The ground beneath us shook violently and I ducked and cowered under the rock, my entire body trembling.

The shockwave hit us a moment later, a wall of air that sent snow flying in all directions from the explosion. Dust and small pebbles rained down around us, and I could hear the terrified whinnying of the horses behind us.

As the initial blast subsided, I dared to look over the boulder. Where the small cavern had been, there was now a gaping wound in the cliff side, easily six times the size of the original space. Smoke billowed from the hole, and I could see bits of stone still falling from the unstable edges.

My ears were ringing, and I felt dizzy from the concussion.

Ioan handed me a pouch filled with the tastiest water in Thornwild. I gulped it greedily, feeling my hearing returning. Then, I looked at the far larger cavern.

“Goldara’s twat,” I whispered. “Celestarch Words are absolutely effin’ terrifying. You can punch holes in cliffs without even touching them!”