Save a Failed Idol’s Life

Chapter 64 The Center of My Heart

It was a good thing that the buzz around us increased as we had less than three months left until our comeback.

‘But why don’t I feel happy at all?’

They say that one bad word hurts more than ten good ones. I could tell that everyone was trying to hide their feelings, but they looked so down.

What was all our hard work for? It was better to be famous and hated than to be unknown and ignored.

No one agreed with my idealistic argument.

‘I thought I could handle the hate comments since I experienced them when the rumor about stealing Floss’s schedule came out.’

Ye-jun, who thought he had a steel mentality, was not in his best condition either.

All I could do was to prepare a special meal for them every day and make sure they ate well.

They were like my brothers, and they always took care of their appetite even when they were depressed.

Yeah, Koreans are all about food.

They took the fruits I cut for them as dessert and went to their rooms, crunching on them.

‘I’m glad they still have their appetite.’

It would be a big problem if they lost that too.

Seong-won seemed okay, for now. He had his cat and his own thing going on. Ye-jun was just a bit gloomy, but he was not directly affected by the hate comments, so he didn’t suffer much damage.

Seonwoo was the one I worried about the most. He was the type who reacted emotionally even when it was not his business, but he seemed to recover with food.

At least Seong-won, who was the eye of the storm, had his life extended by 20 years.

[- I know it’s a show and they have to make it dramatic, but this episode was so annoying. Seong-won was such a nuisance and the other members had to clean up after him.]

[- Why is Seong-won so irritating? He has no character and he doesn’t fit the group. There’s a reason why no one else does what he does.]

The only consolation was that Seong-won was the type who didn’t care what others said. I just hoped his cat was healthy.

‘He’s fine, right?’

He was worried about being a burden to the other members, so he kept his cat mostly in his room.

All I heard was an occasional squeak, beep, or the sound of him running around.

As long as he was happy, that was enough.

The problem was Kyunghwa.

Almost a third of the negative buzz was related to him. They said he was boring, freeloading, clinging to the other members, and that they could see why he didn’t make it.

‘I appreciate your concern, but I don’t like it when you all act like this. I wish you would stop worrying about me.’

Kyunghwa, who received his 13th snack gift from Seonwoo, declared with a stiff expression.

‘I know I’m getting hate. I’m doing my best, so you don’t have to be so conscious of me. It makes me more nervous and I can’t do anything.’

The one I thought was the least problematic turned out to be the eye of the storm. In the end, we had to script the entire third episode of Boys in Crisis and film it.

We made sure to distribute the screen time evenly and aired it, but then more opinions poured in.

[- They’re obviously giving more time to certain members.]

[- How long are they going to push Ryu Kongi?]

[- I don’t care how much they promote him, I’m not buying Ryu Kongi.]

They made a fuss whether he appeared or not. At this point, it was not a legitimate complaint from the viewers, but just a sandbag for their boredom.

I was boiling with rage inside, but there was nothing we could do about it.

The company was filtering out the severe personal attacks and slander against our members, but there was a clear limit.

“Do they enjoy sucking the blood out of one target?”

They seemed to have fun while being angry. Related posts started to appear on SNS.

[- Why are they so interested in the amount of a specific member of another idol group when they are not even Rise fans?]

[ㄴDid you see it too, ○○? I feel so sorry for the K-pop aggro accounts that got targetedㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

[ㄴYeahㅜㅜㅜ I mean, if they were at least solo fans, I would think they were doing it because they were afraid of causing trouble to their bias, but they were not even solo fansㅜㅜㅜ]

To sum it up, they were not fans of Climax. But they were not indifferent to K-pop either. They had their own accounts for their fandoms.

They were accounts that anonymously mocked or slandered other idols, or posted other aggro-related content for fun.

When I clicked on each one and saw what they were saying, it was outrageous. I got goosebumps at how sick these kids were, who were at most in their twenties.

Of course, their target was not only Kyunghwa.

In other groups, they would set the profile picture of a girl group member who had a lower visual or whose pre-surgery past was revealed.

[- The fans of the fabrication leader are like: they praise him as a multi-talented genius, but he can’t do anything better than the other members @Flows_YOU]

[- The fabrication leader is a drinking game~ Drink a shot every time he appears on TV~ He drinks a bottle every day @Flows_YOU]

[- Leader leader! Are you not fabricating today? @Flows_YOU]

They would tag him directly and send him these things four or five times a day.

“Why are they doing this, why…”

It was an area that I couldn’t understand from a common sense perspective. I couldn’t believe they were doing this all day for fun.

How can they do SNS all day like this? And only to mock and harass? When do they sleep? Do they have a normal life?

“Let’s not look. It’s bad for mental health.”

I felt like I had watched a horror movie and turned off the phone screen with a pale face and buried my face in the sofa cushion.

After an hour of trying to understand them, I was able to confirm a disappointing truth.

“These guys… They are surprisingly quiet when it comes to content that requires money.”

They laughed and cursed, but they hated spending money, so they only focused on the free content.

“Releasing the self-content for free was a double-edged sword.”

I lowered the entry barrier to attract fans who were not interested enough in Climax to pay for it, but…

“I didn’t know there would be such a side effect.”

In the programs I had appeared in before, there was no cursing as long as the participants behaved reasonably.

Even if they cursed, they did it for hygiene, rudeness, or price issues, not to harass a specific person.

If it had been usual, I would have moved on and thought it was a new experience, but this time, I was not feeling well because one of our kids was a victim.

“How do I deal with this?”

My head was getting complicated by myself, and I took a breath, and someone seemed to come next to me and the sofa seat shook.

“Hyung, are you okay?”

I lifted my head from the cushion and Sunwoo was looking down at me with a worried expression.

“Are you talking to me?”

“Huh? Uh…”

Why are you worried about me? Not Kyunghwa or Sungwon? I wondered and straightened my back and sat properly.

“What are they saying about me?”

I had been monitoring everything from YouTube comments to Climax fan accounts. There was nothing I missed. When I looked at Sunwoo with suspicion, he answered nervously.

“Huh? No, it’s not that. Ise hyung, you’ve been working so hard to calm us down lately… I thought you might be tired too.”

He was acting like a kid who came to cheer up his dad with a shoulder massage coupon. It was ridiculous how he rolled his eyes and didn’t know what to do.

I wasn’t angry. I was a bit proud of him, so I laughed.

“It’s okay. I’m more worried about you guys. I don’t care much.”

Whether it’s social life or the entertainment industry, no one can live on praise alone. People will throw stones at the frog, whether it’s in the pond or not. It’s pointless to wonder why I got hit by those stones.

I shouldn’t give any more meaning to the lightning that struck me like a natural disaster on the road.

Why did I pass by there at that time? Why did it rain then? Why didn’t I use an umbrella?

The moment I added unnecessary self-blame and worry, I was the only one who suffered the loss of sinking into the swamp.

So it didn’t help me at all to feel more pain about why those bastards clung to our kids.

“Really? Well, that’s good then…”

Thanks to Sunwoo, I was able to look at the situation with my usual perspective.

I knew this was not a problem that I could solve by myself right away.

Using Yugeon’s Fate skill might put out the immediate fire, but… I still hadn’t confirmed how severe the side effects were.

I needed to… observe a little more.

I gently stroked Seonwoo’s head like animal therapy, then pushed myself up from the ground.

I had too many things to do to feel sorry for myself. I received a message from the manager that he would arrive at the dorm in 10 minutes.

“Everyone, hurry up and get ready to leave!”

We had about 80 days left until our comeback. The music video shooting was waiting for us.

The music video was filmed in three locations. We shot some scenes at the botanical garden, some at a professional studio, and the rest at another studio.

“This place used to be a cafe, they said.”

“Wow… I think I saw this on their official Instagram.”

The glass greenhouse, emptied of tables and chairs for the shooting, had a mysterious and desolate atmosphere.

“We’re going to film a scene where you bang on the glass windows. Don’t worry about breaking them, we’ll add the effects with CG. Just pretend to shatter them.”

Under the director’s instructions, everyone snapped to attention and took their positions.

Thankfully, Kyunghwa, who I was most worried about, looked in good shape today. He was the best actor among the five of us, so naturally he had more screen time.

I stepped aside a little to let the staff filming the behind-the-scenes footage capture Kyunghwa better.

“Okay, this time we’re going to spray some water, so focus and let’s get it done in one take!”

Everyone nodded their heads and moved their bodies to the music that was played for checking the rhythm.

I wondered how I would feel when I finished the last shooting and received the edited version.

The time had come when I had to face it inevitably. Was it the same pressure? Or was it the same pride in myself for making it this far?

It didn’t matter either way.

I would do my best in what I had to do now, accept the outcome without regret, and be faithful to what lay ahead.

I shouldn’t suffer because of something I couldn’t change.

I sneaked a glance at Kyunghwa, who was moving along with the choreography. He acted calmly as if nothing was wrong, but he couldn’t be fine inside.

He had chosen to put on a thick shell and lock himself in, so all I could do was hope that he would endure it firmly.

‘I said I didn’t care what happened to those bastards as long as I got my revenge. But I guess I’m too soft-hearted for my own good.’

I clicked my tongue lightly and cleared my mind, forcing a smile.

“Hey, Ise. This is a serious scene. You can’t smile like that!”

The director’s angry voice interrupted my brief distraction.

“Pay attention to your facial expressions!”

“Yes!”

I unwittingly made the whole set laugh by trying to act normal. 

Kyunghwa also laughed, shaking his shoulders. Well, I’m glad I gave them a good laugh.

That’s how the hot summer was passing by.

Which meant…

The shooting day for ‘Star Discovery’, which I had promised Seong-won like a carrot, was approaching.