Save a Failed Idol’s Life

Chapter 60 I Knew This Would Happen

“Wow, look at the grass!”

It had rained heavily for a week. Fortunately, there was no typhoon or anything, so the house was not in big trouble.

But the field where we had to harvest crops to eat, except for the small one right in front of the house, had turned into a weed field.

“This… it looks edible. But does it taste good?”

The fruits that remained among the weeds that grew lushly by drinking rainwater all soaked up the rainwater very well.

Ah… it would have been better if I had harvested them in advance. But I didn’t have time to do that because I was fixing the house.

In the end, I changed the route to help the village head or the nearby villagers harvest and get some crops.

I was clearing the weeds in the field for a while, when suddenly I couldn’t see Seong-won who was next to me.

“Where did Son Seong-won go?”

I asked Kyunghwa who went inside to clean up the messy house because of the sudden wind.

“Isn’t he over there?”

“Wow, dad is going to catch his son who ran away without working.”

Yejoon joked and laughed.

I looked around and saw that the youngest PD was also gone. I asked the main PD.

“Did you see where Seong-won went?”

“Shall we go look for him together?”

He seemed to think that the video of the members cleaning the house was enough for self-cam shooting. I nodded without thinking deeply.

‘I’ll put a caption like a father looking for a runaway worker.’

I thought the same stupid thing.

As Yejoon teased, my image was completely fixed as ‘father’ and ‘old man’ because of the few appearances on the show.

[- Summary of Seberji’s father moments in the first episode of Boys in Crisis]

[- Seberji’s expected 18th more]

[- The more I see Seberji, the more I like him. I think he’ll scold me if I sneak into the kitchen at dawn and eat kimchi stew with pork.]

I felt like the target of ‘Seberji’ was me. I had a reasonable doubt and looked it up carefully. It was a compound word of (Lee)Se+(A)berji.

Cheonise would faint if he knew. Although I had never communicated directly with him, I was sure he would.

Anyway, if it wasn’t in a negative direction, it meant a positive meaning to have a nickname.

‘But I didn’t expect that father would be a nickname.’

Among the current male idols, Kang Yugeon, who was running the most popular, had ‘Yureogi (Kang Yugeon + troublemaker)’, ‘Geonjangkku (Kang Yugeon + prankster)’, ‘Manipulation Captain (Kang Yugeon + first love manipulation)’ and so on.

Of course, the last one was not used in a purely positive sense.

It was a nickname that Yugeon, who started with a lower grade, flew to A grade in a single shot as he secured more volume.

‘And he’s also in charge of a lot of aggro elements, so it seems like he’s got a lot of anti-fans.’

It was amazing how he could stick to his insincere attitude even though he was cursed.

We… because the fandom was so small, we didn’t have a nickname until the salad became a hot topic.

After that, it was a nickname given by the fandom in a relatively friendly atmosphere, so I didn’t see anything I didn’t like.

Oh Yejoon had a lot of animal-related nicknames, such as Oramjwi, Jjungmungi. By the way, Ramjwi in Oramjwi was not the cute squirrel we thought.

It was the red-brown fur hat that ran around as an American squirrel. It was a nickname that became a hot topic because of its sturdy physique and eating a huge amount of food in an instant.

Seon-woo had a lot of nicknames related to his appearance as expected. Sunjunim, Sungingi, Aeggyowatdyanim were often seen. Princess, baby, prince, very colorful modifiers. He was so embarrassed that he didn’t know what to do.

‘That’s how the three of them had a definite image.’

Seong-won was known for his squeaky and prickly image, so I was worried that he would get a bad nickname.

But it was better than I thought. Sonjjolbo, Sondeli. What is Sondeli? I looked it up and it was an Adelie penguin. It was a nickname that was attached because it was always cute to be angry.

It’s not much yet, but all of Seong-won’s fans who came up in the search cheered every time Seong-won screamed or got annoyed.

[- 7:56 Seong-won, I set this as a notification sound. I’ve passed by countless male idols, but I’ve never felt such a strong thrill. Thank you, I’m sorry, I love you]

I couldn’t understand what kind of psychology it was, but anyway, they looked happy, so I was glad.

The problem was Kyunghwa.

How long has it been since Climax started to make a name for itself?

There were a lot of reactions that worried or ridiculed him.

It was annoying enough to read.

[- Why does Kyunghwa look like he’s just floating? Compared to other members, he’s too bland… It would be better if the agency made a character for Kyunghwa quickly.]

[- It’s boring when he comes out, so it’s a boring section challenge. I think it’s okay to just keep holding on to the other members.]

Because of this, he didn’t have a proper nickname yet.

Something… I had to deal with it. I was not an expert from the agency, but just a member, so I was careful to give advice.

That’s how the second shooting started with a vague sense of alienation.

Anyway, I had a lot of useless thoughts.

‘Let’s focus on shooting.’

I took off the farm clothes I was wearing and put them on the flat and went to look around the warehouse. The cats greeted me with a squeak.

“Did you see where Seong-won went?”

There was no way the cats would answer. Then where did he go? I tilted my head and came out of the warehouse.

“Huh?”

He crossed the road at a bad time, and Seong-won was holding something in front of the ladder leading up to the roof.

‘What is it?’

All the other members around Seong-won had serious expressions on their faces.

“What’s wrong?”

As I ran over and joined them, Seong-won handed me something in his hand with a noticeably dark expression.

“Ah…”

What Seong-won was holding in his hand was a kitten that was so weak that it seemed to die at any moment.

“I brought warm water!”

Seon-woo came running with a warm water bottle, as if Yejoon had told him. He put the cat on the bottle and wrapped it in a towel to raise its body temperature.

“I think we need to go to the hospital.”

Everyone else didn’t have a license, so naturally they all looked at me.

“I’ll drive. Hurry up and get in. Can we go around the town for a bit?”

I asked as I took out the car key from my pocket. The director gladly gave me permission.

“Just go with the local PD.”

Despite the serious situation, the camera didn’t stop filming us. Surely this wouldn’t be broadcasted, right? I didn’t think too deeply and drove off with Seong-won in the passenger seat.

Beep, peep, peck… His faint breathing was barely proof that he was hanging on to his life.

“Please, open your eyes… You have to wake up to live…”

Seong-won stroked the kitten’s tiny forehead with a more sorrowful face than when he acted on stage.

He was so small that he fit in Seong-won’s big hand. The kitten didn’t even feel Seong-won’s touch and twitched.

‘There’s… no hope.’

But I couldn’t give up, so I sped up to find the nearest animal hospital.

After about twenty minutes, the rain started to fall from the sky.

“Oh, it’s raining…”

The air was so humid that I wanted to turn on the air conditioner. But I was afraid that the kitten might get worse, so I silently played the role of a driver.

When we finally arrived at the animal hospital, the first thing the old veterinarian said was as expected.

“Oh dear, this one has no chance.”

But we had to at least get him checked, so I put the kitten on the examination table. The vet checked his eyelids, ears, and tail, and gave his final verdict.

“His condition is very bad. He won’t make it. He’s too young to do anything for him. Right now, the only thing we can do is help him maintain his body temperature.”

Seong-won couldn’t let go and asked the vet.

“Can’t we feed him some medicine or milk?”

The vet shook his head with a helpless expression.

“He can’t eat or swallow anything right now. Giving him colostrum is only possible when he has the strength to suckle. He hardly has any reaction right now.”

Seong-won took back the kitten wrapped in a towel, just as he had brought him. He looked incredulously at the vet and the kitten, and the youngest PD filmed him without missing a moment.

“Do you really have to film this?”

I felt sorry for the kitten, but I kept my reason and asked the youngest PD. He answered as if it was obvious.

“Ah… I’m sorry, it must bother you. The main PD told me to film everything until we go back…”

It was a roundabout way of saying that we had to film. Did we really have to film this kid who had lost his mind and couldn’t think of anything?

I clenched my teeth and covered the camera lens with my hand.

“I’m sorry too. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t film from here. I’m turning off the mic.”

I realized that it wasn’t something to discuss and turned off the mic. Then I tapped Seong-won’s shoulder.

“Let’s go.”

Seong-won nodded slowly, out of his mind. I quickly turned off the mic that Seong-won had on his waist.

“Lee Se! You can’t do this.”

“We’re in trouble too. I’ll talk to the main PD, so just get in the back.”

The car was filled with sighs and awkwardness.

Was it because I turned off the mic? Seong-won didn’t say a word on the way to the animal hospital. He opened his mouth with a trembling voice.

“I should have taken him last week…”

His voice sounded like he was about to cry. I had to comfort him. How? My mouth was bitter.

“Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know his condition would get so bad in a week.”

“I should have called last week and left him there… He might have lived… It’s my fault… I hesitated…”

“…”

So that’s why he hesitated to get in the car last week.

Before I knew it, the kitten had stopped twitching and died in Seong-won’s arms.

“It’s my fault…”

I broke the silence and answered.

“Why is it your fault?”

“I didn’t take him…”

“You can’t say that. It’s my fault for not letting you go. Don’t blame yourself unnecessarily.”

“…”

Seong-won didn’t answer. The rain poured down and the cars appeared out of nowhere. The country road that had been quiet was crowded.

I gripped the steering wheel with one hand and brushed my hair back with the other. Then I opened my mouth.

“How many things do you think go your way in life? How many things go as you expected? How many things don’t leave any regrets?”

“…”

“What if you regret something later when you didn’t have the ability or the situation to change it?”

“…”

“You’re not a god. You’re just a normal twenty-two-year-old kid. It’s natural that you don’t know what will happen later. You make decisions without knowing how they will come back to you. It’s natural that you face negative outcomes that you didn’t intend.”

“…”

“That’s how life is. It’s all shitty, hard, and not what I wanted. I didn’t know it would turn out like this. Even adults in their fifties are the same. They make decisions without knowing the results and regret them based on the assumption that they might have had a choice.”

“…”

“That’s too obvious. But I wish you wouldn’t be too heartbroken. You can think of it as a selfish request. Don’t hurt yourself.”

“…”

“…You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Seong-won couldn’t answer and covered his mouth with the back of his hand. His shoulders, which always looked wide, were too thin for a twenty-two-year-old.

I didn’t bother to say anything more and quietly opened the glove box. There was a tissue that someone had put in there beforehand.

‘How many things do you think go your way in life?’

Maybe it was something I wanted to say to myself. That it wasn’t something I could change.

I clenched the handle, remembering the sensation of sinking into the waves. There were times when I needed an excuse that sounded powerless. If I didn’t think that way, I couldn’t endure and overcome the present. When Seong-won’s trembling subsided a bit.

“Woohoo-…”

A sound of equipment turning on came from the back seat.