Romantic Gangster

#63

“Uh… yeah, I know. I know I should have quit earlier…. Uh, well… maybe it seems like I’m trying to show off for doing something obvious. Um, well… that’s not it, I just…”

As he thought about it, he wondered if he was making too big a deal out of doing something that was only natural. Feeling slightly embarrassed, Hyun-joon was rambling when something touched his hand. Looking down, he saw Ji-woo’s chocolate milk in his hand.

What is this…? Are they telling me to drink this and come to my senses? Or are they saying quitting the thug work isn’t impressive at all so just try throwing this in the trash can again…? Should I drink it and throw it away? Or just throw it? What’s going on…. It’s really scary when they’re not saying anything.

As Hyun-joon’s anxious gaze moved from the chocolate milk in his hand to Ji-woo’s face, Ji-woo’s hands suddenly grabbed his collar as if seizing his lapels.

“…Are you angry? Do you not like that I quit? Should I have done one more job before quitting…?”

Ji-woo’s face drew closer. Looking blankly at Ji-woo approaching, Hyun-joon closed his eyes tight when he felt Ji-woo’s lips press softly against his chin. He felt the lips touch again slightly higher than before, then pull away.

“…”

“…”

When he opened his eyes, his vision was again filled with Ji-woo’s face. Ji-woo’s lips moved gently to form the smile he had so wanted to see.

“Could you bend down a little?”

Though he seemed to know why Ji-woo asked him to bend down, his heart was beating too fast to think clearly. Hyun-joon bent down enough for Ji-woo to reach him without having to stand on tiptoes. Ji-woo’s hands, which had been gripping his collar, gently cupped his cheeks.

That’s when Hyun-joon understood. That Ji-woo was very happy right now.

Chu. This time, the warmth spread properly to his lips, not his chin. The soft lips pressed against his and pulled away, then pressed firmly again. His head spun as their lips met longer than the first time.

Seo Ji-woo kissing him first on the street, without worrying about others’ eyes…. Hyun-joon slightly parted Ji-woo’s lips and touched them with the tip of his tongue. Ji-woo, seemingly not expecting that, was startled and closed their mouth tight. Finding that cute, Hyun-joon laughed out loud and held Ji-woo’s face in both hands, playing with their soft cheeks.

“Who told you to give praise in such a sexy way?”

“…That wasn’t meant to be sexy.”

“This isn’t sexy? Wow, Seo Ji-woo…. I thought you were kind of innocent but you’re really not, seriously.”

“I did it because I was so happy. I thought you might quit, but I didn’t know you’d quit so quickly, right away.”

Ji-woo spread their arms again and hugged Hyun-joon tight. Hyun-joon chuckled and wrapped his arms tightly around Ji-woo, nuzzling their neck. A faint scent of castella wafted to his nose.

“I told you I wouldn’t make you worry. I’ll keep that promise. I’ll find a new job too, and… quit smoking, and won’t meet those trashy people anymore.”

“Will you only be with me?”

“Yeah. I’ll only be with you. That’s okay, right?”

“Yes. I’m so happy. Stay only with me, Hyun-joon.”

Nodding against the castella-scented neck, Hyun-joon couldn’t resist the impulse to give a quick kiss. Ji-woo laughed at the ticklish sensation and pressed their lips against Hyun-joon’s pleasantly-scented neck just as he had done.

“I’m really so happy. I feel like I could do anything you ask. No, I want to. What should I do for you?”

“Really? You’ll do anything I ask?”

“Yes! I’ll do anything.”

Looking at Ji-woo smiling and promising to grant any wish, Hyun-joon remembered the unused wish ticket. It was Ji-woo’s promise to grant one wish if he graduated safely.

‘I’ll grant you one wish too if you clear the graduation quest safely.’

Grinning, Hyun-joon held the lukewarm chocolate milk pack in one hand and Ji-woo’s hand in the other as they walked.

“You promised to grant me a wish if I graduate safely, is that still okay?”

“Ah, right.”

“You honestly forgot, didn’t you?”

“Yes. But now that I remember, I’ll grant that too.”

“Excuse me. Even if you forgot, you obviously have to grant it since I remember.”

“Ah, yes, I’m sorry, customer.”

Hyun-joon laughed at Ji-woo responding in their part-time job customer service voice, and let go of their hand to gently ruffle their hair. Ji-woo raised their hand and repeatedly curled and uncurled their fingers as if asking to be held. Hyun-joon quickly took Ji-woo’s hand again, capturing it in his own.

“I’ll tell you my wish on graduation day, so just wait.”

“I’m kind of scared. I feel like you’ll ask for something weird.”

“Hey, what do you take me for? Do I seem like that much of a pervert?”

“I never said pervert…. Are you going to wish for something… like that?”

“Yeah. Look forward to it.”

Hyun-joon burst out laughing at Ji-woo’s stunned expression after his playful words. Seeing him laugh, Ji-woo ended up laughing too.

The cool autumn night breeze, the still lukewarm chocolate milk in hand, and the familiar path they walked holding hands so naturally.

It was a night where everything was perfect.

* * *

The day of the college entrance exam was very cold. Although he wasn’t planning to go to college, Ji-woo took the test seriously. There were naturally problems that were too difficult to understand, and some that were easier than expected.

Fortunately, they were able to take the test at the same school as Hyun-joon, and agreed to meet in front of Ji-woo’s test classroom when all the exams were finished. Though Hyun-joon had complained about not wanting to spend all day taking tests with people he didn’t know, when Ji-woo said they wanted him to be at the same school, he entered the test site without further protest.

After finishing the final marking on the last test, Ji-woo looked out the window. It had already gotten dark outside. Some might ask why take the college entrance exam when it wasn’t necessary, but to Ji-woo, this moment felt like the last chance to walk the same path as their peers.

Because after graduation, everyone would walk different paths. Knowing that when they gathered again someday with memories of today, they wouldn’t all look the same as they did now, Ji-woo wanted to fully embrace being nineteen.

“…”

What is Hyun-joon doing…? Is he staring at the clock in frustration? Or sleeping with his head down? Or maybe looking at the pitch-black window like me?

Just thinking about Hyun-joon brought a smile to their face. Until a few months ago, graduating high school had felt a bit scary, but after meeting Hyun-joon, those thoughts disappeared.

There wasn’t enough time just thinking about Hyun-joon who had suddenly become part of their daily life. That was still true now. Even though there wasn’t much time left at school where they spent most of their time alone but never wanted to leave, they didn’t feel sad or gloomy at all.

Because they had Hyun-joon. Because they were with Hyun-joon who would always be with them, who liked them very much.

“…”

I miss Hyun-joon…

With about 5 minutes left, Ji-woo propped their chin and wrote Hyun-joon’s name in the corner of the test paper. Just seeing his name made them smile so much it was hard to maintain a straight face. Finally, Ji-woo raised the hand propping their chin to cover their mouth and let out a long breath. Only 3 minutes left until the test ended.

Their longing started running through the corridors, beyond the classroom.

As soon as they were told they could leave the classroom, the sound of chairs scraping back rang out in unison. Ji-woo quickly packed their bag and ran out to Hyun-joon who was visible as soon as they left the classroom. Though they had seen each other during break time, it felt like meeting after days apart.

“Hyun-joon.”

“Ah, the last period really dragged on, seriously. I fell asleep and woke up and only 15 minutes had passed, I thought the clock was broken.”

“Did you miss me?”

“That’s not even a question. I missed you so fucking much.”

Hyun-joon caressed Ji-woo’s cheeks, flushed from the slightly too-warm classroom, and took their bag to shoulder it.

“It’s cold outside, put on your scarf. Where is it?”

“Ah, in the bag.”

Hyun-joon took out the scarf from Ji-woo’s bag, wrapped it twice around their neck, tied it in front, and adjusted it carefully so it could cover up to below their eyes.

“It’s hot…”

“It’ll be fucking cold when we go out. You’ll catch a cold right away if you suddenly go into the cold after being in a hot place.”

“Why didn’t you bring a scarf? Your clothes are thin too. I’m wearing thick clothes so you wear the scarf.”

Hyun-joon gently lowered Ji-woo’s hands that were trying to unwrap the scarf and shook his head.

“I exercise a lot so I don’t catch colds. Don’t worry. Let’s go quickly. You’re hungry, right?”

“Yeah, I’m hungry. Since it’s cold, should we get something warm to eat before going?”

“Yeah, let’s do that. Think about what you want to eat while we walk.”

As they left through the main entrance, the bitter wind of the college entrance exam cold snap brushed their faces. Even though they were bundled up and buried in scarves, it was cold enough to make their bodies shiver.

“Put your hand in my pocket. It’s cold.”

Hyun-joon took one of Ji-woo’s hands and put it in his pocket along with his own as they passed through the unfamiliar school’s playground and out the school gate. Outside the gate, some families were waiting. The street was lined with cars.

When they were younger, facing situations like this had been embarrassing and sometimes enviable. There were times they didn’t want to go to school because of it, and times they wanted to make sure no one could look down on them for such things.

At some point they stopped caring altogether, but today’s scene, encountered after a long time, was clearly different from before.

“…”

Though there was still no family waiting for them, now they had Ji-woo by their side. Ji-woo who held their hand, who they could meet eyes with when they turned their head, who they could wait for.

It was okay not having a family. Because they had Seo Ji-woo. Because they had that tenderness that would unfailingly turn to meet their eyes with concern whenever they grew quiet lost in thought.

Moving away from the bustling school entrance, Hyun-joon tilted his head as they stopped at a quiet crosswalk. Ji-woo, looking up at Hyun-joon, quickly lowered the scarf covering their mouth and stood on tiptoe. Though the cold wind felt like it was cutting their cheeks, the moment their lips met wasn’t cold at all. Because they had each other, making even the bitter winter wind feel warm.

That’s why they didn’t feel any regret about the end of their nineteenth year slipping away. Because they knew this moment, with the strongest feelings anchored in their hearts, would never end.