Rogue of Taurus

That evening, Livia’s phone rang as she walked through the door of Hyrum’s townhouse. Corvin. She answered.

“Livia,” Corvin greeted. “You didn’t come with Hyrum.”

She froze. Since Hyrum and Caecilia planned to dine at Lars and Aurelia’s house that evening, Livia went to a nearby soup buffet for dinner. “Was I supposed to?”

“We expected you to—”

“Should I come now?” Livia asked.

“No, Hyrum just left, but I missed you.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was supposed to go—” Livia dug the heel of her hand into her forehead.

“It’s okay. The meeting went well. We’ll be able to work something out to help both our Houses, which is a relief. But I want to talk about your day. What did you do?”

“Um,” Livia’s hesitated. “I-I got a job.”

“That’s exciting. Where?” Corvin asked.

“With Delores at her florist shop,” Livia said.

“Are you happy about it?” Corvin sounded uncertain. “Can I come over there? I want to see your face while we have this conversation.”

“You don’t need to do that. I’m fine. Really,” Livia insisted.

“Please, I missed you tonight,” Corvin said.

“You must be tired,” Livia said.

“I can deal with being tired much easier than I can with missing you,” Corvin argued.

Livia melted. “Fine. I’ll see you?”

“In fifteen,” Corvin confirmed.

Hyrum got home before Corvin arrived. Her brother looked like a new person. Livia hadn’t realized how heavily things were weighing on him. There were lines on his face that had disappeared, and how he carried himself conveyed lightness and relief.

“Lars helped,” Livia observed.

Hyrum laughed. “Yeah, I think… I’m excited. What we’re talking about is going to do a lot of good. It will help so many people.”

“I should have come….” Livia said.

“No,” Hyrum shook his head. “I left you out of it on purpose. You need to be a kid, Liv. Be a normal college student that isn’t worried about crazy things like feeding 2,000 unemployed people.”

“Maybe, that’s a good thing to worry about,” Livia countered.

“Nah,” Hyrum waved that away. “You’ll have time later.”

Livia would have argued with him if the doorbell hadn’t rung. Instead, she huffed past Hyrum and opened the door.

Corvin raised an eyebrow the instant he saw her face. “Everything alright, Liv?”

She inhaled and exhaled. “I’m okay.”

A gentle smile curved his lips. “Why don’t we talk about it?”

“I guess that’s why you’re here,” Livia grumbled.

Arik would have gotten all tense at her mood. Corvin stepped forward eagerly. Almost like he was excited to talk with her, even if she was grumpy. Livia almost laughed. She wondered if she’d ever get used to how unexpectedly he reacted to things.

Hyrum had disappeared somewhere when Livia returned to the kitchen. Livia pursed her lips, annoyed. Then, she glared around the kitchen like it was its fault Hyrum had disappeared.

“What’s going on, Liv?” Corvin asked. “Are you expecting a bear in here?”

“No, just Hyrum.”

“And…” Corvin prompted. “He did something to deserve contemptuous glares?”

“He didn’t invite me to the dinner on purpose because he wants me to be a normal college kid who doesn’t have to worry about people going hungry.”

“Hmm,” Corvin mused. “I see.”

“What do you see?” Livia asked.

“That your brother cares about you,” he said.

“It’s insulting that he wants to protect me from worrying about people. There’s no shortage of tragedy in the world today. There’s no protecting me from it. Might as well face it.”

Corvin’s hand rested on her back. “Let’s find a place to sit, and you can tell me everything.”

“There are couches over there in the living room.” Livia pointed.

They settled down on the couches together. Corvin eyed her when she let him sit down first and avoided sitting too close to him when she did sit. Livia despaired. Would it ever feel natural to sit next to somebody without thinking about it? Was she always going to play these ridiculous avoidance games habitually?

Now, she worried that she’d offended Corvin. Livia swallowed and tried to play it cool. “Are you working during the break?”

“A little. I’m not on active duty, but I’m doing a lot of writing and office work,” Corvin said. “I work from home, go in for a few meetings, and then process the records in the evenings.”

Corvin seemed comfortable. He let his arm stretch out along the back of the couch. At ease, he didn’t attempt to scoot closer.

“Do you like it?” Livia asked, noting he said the last bit with some awkwardness.

Corvin tilted his head side to side. “I like the writing. I hate processing records. I also miss working with a team.”

“Why are you processing records at night?” Livia asked.

Corvin inhaled. “To avoid the desk staff.”

Livia’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Justin hired someone I don’t get along with—”

“Who?”

“Salina Antonius,” Corvin said. “So, I avoid her as much as I can.”

“Ah,” Livia nodded. She understood. Salina Antonius was a challenging person to get along with. Livia liked to avoid her whenever she could too. It surprised her that Salina was rude to Corvin, though. Livia assumed Salina treated her poorly because Salina considered her an outsider.

Corvin changed the subject. “But you got a new job today?”

Corvin’s hazel eyes took on that piercing quality as he waited for an answer. Livia was nervous about confiding in him. All those talks with Bella about Corvin’s sexist attitudes about work made her wary. What if she’d been right about him? This conversation would directly confirm or deny her assumptions about him.

Livia lowered her eyes and twisted her hair around her fingers. “I did.”

“With Delores?” Corvin’s fingers twitched on the couch.

Livia’s eyes hyper-focused on his fingers. Was he angry? Irritated? Why did she care? She shouldn’t care that he had an opinion on her working choices. She was working whether he liked it or not. It wasn’t up for discussion.

Corvin took a deep breath, and his fingers went still.

“Did you feel good about working with her?” Corvin asked.

Livia’s eyes were still fastened on his hand. “Yes.”

“Liv, Hun, look at me,” Corvin urged.

Livia tore her eyes away from his fingers and looked him in the eyes.

“What’s got you so nervous?”

“You’re not talking me out of working,” she said.

“I don’t plan on it. You were fortunate to find something.”

Livia’s nerves lessened. “You’re…” Livia shook her head. “I don’t need your approval.”

“No, you don’t,” Corvin said. “But I do. I do approve as long as you feel comfortable and safe there.”

And bit by bit Livia’s hesitance disappeared as she told him about her shift. Who she was working with, some of the things she’d done, and conversations she’d had. When she ran out of words, a warm, connected feeling hung in the air between her and Corvin.

Corvin smiled. “I’m happy for you, Liv. I hope it goes well for you. Now, there’s this guy I know that wants to hug his girlfriend but isn’t quite sure how she likes to be held. How do you recommend he talk to her about it?” Corvin asked.

Livia laughed. “Do I know this guy?”

“Um-hmm,” he said.

“You sure?” Livia gave him a suspicious look. “Doesn’t sound like anyone I know.”

“Liv,” Corvin said. “I’m serious.”

“This guy is you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re doing fine,” Livia said.

Corvin lifted a skeptical brow. “Am I? Last time I got shoved, and now I’m being avoided—”

Livia looked down. “I’m sor—”

“No apologies,” he said firmly. “Instead, communication.”

“So, I did make you angry,” Livia muttered.

“No anger, Livia, just curiosity,” Corvin said.

Livia studied Corvin’s expression for a long time before she took the risk to answer. “What if…I don’t know how to answer this question?” Livia whispered, heart pounding.

“Can you take a moment and talk with me about a time a hug felt good to you?”

“I like Tavian’s hugs,” Livia said. Then her face turned red. “But I…I don’t like Tavian the way I like you—he’s just—I-I—”

“Liv, I’m glad you have a friend you feel physically safe with,” Corvin said. “What is the best thing about his hugs?”

Livia was grateful that Corvin didn’t tease her or react to her embarrassment. “They’re not too soft or too hard—”

“There’s a sweet spot,” Corvin said.

“Yeah,” Livia laughed nervously. “And… he’s…he doesn’t pull away so fast…he holds on a bit. But not too long—”

“Another sweet spot,” Corvin said. “They say holding someone in a hug allows your brain to switch out of ‘fight or flight’ mode. So, it’s likely that you do feel better after a welcomed hug.

“I don’t know how he figured it out, but…he does it every time,” Livia said.

“Some people have that gift,” Corvin said.

“Arik did, too,” Livia pointed out with a degree of bitterness.

“I am not Arik,” Corvin said. “I’m not trying to brag here, but I’m smarter than a Rattus.”

Livia snorted. Then she laughed. “You think being smarter will fix it?”

“I don’t support your phrasing—fix it. There’s nothing to fix—it’s more about adapting to your needs. Also, Rattus aren’t very compatible with Taurus.”

“Really?” Livia asked.

“No, it’s considered a bad match most of the time. Rattus are free-spirited and spontaneous. Taurus are more schedule bound and conscientious. I’m not saying it’s impossible. There have been successful Rattus/Taurus pairings, but it takes a certain type of Rattus and advanced relationship skills.”

Livia blinked. “So, what is the best Taurus pairing?”

“Taurus tend to do the best with other Taurus,” Corvin said. “Though, Aquila and Taurus is an extremely favored pairing. They tend to make decisions the same way. That’s the contention with Lupus/Taurus pairings. They say mutual decisions are hard because Taurus will choose based on instinct and Lupus on logic.”

Livia frowned. “I don’t think relying on instinct is the best way to make decisions.”

Corvin nodded. “I have observed that. It factored into my decision to pursue a serious relationship with you. Life experiences shaped you into a Taurus who wants to confirm her intuitions before proceeding.”

“That’s true,” Livia muttered. Uncomfortably true even. Sometimes Livia felt like a coward. She didn’t take a lot of risks without studying it out.

“But the point of bringing that up is to caution you not to internalize the hard parts of your relationship with Arik as your personal failure,” Corvin said. “You are fine the way you are. Some people are like oil and water. They’re both good liquids, but they don’t mix well together.”

Livia’s eyes filled with tears. She couldn’t remember when a person said something, so…it was more substantive than mere kindness or a compliment. Corvin gave Livia the words she needed to step away from the past and move forward with strength and confidence. A wisp of hope unfolded in Livia’s heart, easing some of her fears. Maybe things could be different with Corvin.

Corvin’s brow creased with concern. “You okay, Hun?”

Livia nodded and blinked the tears away. “So, we’re figuring out…how I like hugs.”

Corvin stood up and stepped into the middle of the room. He turned back and held out a hand to her. “Come, teach me.”

Livia put her hand into his and let him pull her to standing and pull her into the center of the room with him. Corvin dropped their hands and stood facing her.

“So, pretend you’re Tavian, and I’m you,” Corvin said. “Hug me the way he hugs you.”

It took Livia a while to think about it. She stood thinking for a long time, consciously pulling out the small things Tavian did when he pulled her close. Corvin didn’t rush her.

Finally, Livia was ready to step closer to Corvin and wrap her arms around him. It wasn’t perfect. Corvin was taller, so it didn’t quite work, but it was enough for Corvin to work with. He stepped back, nodding.

Corvin paused a moment, eyes calculating information. Then he reached out and pulled Livia into a fabulous hug. One forearm encircled her shoulder blades. The other forearm pressed against the sway of her back. Livia rested against him, placing her forehead against the slope of his neck.

“Too soft or too hard?” he asked.

“Harder,” Livia said.

Corvin’s arms tightened around her, and his cheek pressed to the top of her head. “More or less?”

“Perfect,” Livia whispered.

Corvin held her until Livia lifted her head from his shoulder. Then, finally, he released her and stepped back. “Too long?”

Livia shook her head. “I-will you hug me again?”

Corvin laughed. “With pleasure.”

He wrapped Livia in his arms again. She closed her eyes and savored the exquisite feeling that flowed through her. “I’m Taurus tired, I guess, ‘cause that feels good.”

Corvin spoke close to her ear. “Does that mean we can cuddle?”

Livia’s lifted her head and met his gaze, eyes wide. “We could, and it’d be nice.”

“I think so,” Corvin said. He guided them back to the couch. He sat down and slid Livia into the crook of his arm. Corvin wrapped both arms around her and settled her against his chest.

He whispered into her ear. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What?” Livia asked.

“Cuddling is my favorite,” he said.

“More than kissing?” Livia asked.

“More than kissing,” he confirmed.

“Really?”

“Mmhmm,” he made a pleased sound that sent a shiver down Livia’s spine. She laughed.

“What’s your favorite?” Corvin asked.

Livia had never considered this question before. “I don’t know. One thing that is nice one day isn’t nice the next day. It’s frustrating.”

“Well, tell me right now if you like this?” Corvin trailed his fingers up her arm and then back down lightly.

“No,” Livia said. “I hate that. I always hate that….”

“That makes sense,” Corvin muttered to himself, stopping. “What about this?”

He ran his fingers through her hair. Livia pulled her head away. “Stop making this complicated. Just hold me.”

“You like things simple,” Corvin said.

“Yes, I never understood the need for people to pet and stroke each other. Isn’t being close good enough?” Livia’s tone turned hurt without her meaning it to.

“It is good enough,” Corvin said. Then he settled his hands on her back and was still.

Livia was suspicious that he’d try something else, but he didn’t. They held each other in silence and stillness. Livia relaxed as each peaceful moment passed. Arik could never stay still long enough for Livia to relax. He always had to talk or move, but he’d done better near the end. He’d end up falling asleep and be embarrassed for being rude. Livia didn’t mind, though. It was peaceful that way. She tried to tell him that, but he never stopped apologizing.

Oil and water. Livia told herself. We were oil and water. Her mind wandered to the feel of Corvin’s hands on her back, the rise and fall of his chest, and deep contentment settled over her. This was a nice moment. The loveliest moment she could remember for a long time. She hoped Corvin was happy too.

“Corvin,” she whispered.

“Yeah, Liv?” he whispered back.

“Are you happy?” she asked.

His arms tightened briefly and then relaxed. “I am.”

“I love this,” she whispered.

“Me too. You have such a calming presence,” he said.

“I do?” Livia asked.

“Yeah, life is so busy…but this? It’s so restful. You’re like a sanctuary.”

Tears pricked Livia’s eyes, and emotion clogged her throat. She buried her face in Corvin’s chest.

“Hey,” he soothed. He lifted one hand and cradled the back of her head. “You’re tired. Why don’t I leave and let you get some real rest?”

“No, a little longer, please?” Livia begged.

Corvin chuckled. “Okay, Liv, but why are you crying?”

“I just…oil and water, Corvin.”

“Arik didn’t like this?” he guessed.

“He’d fall asleep and feel guilty and never stop apologizing. I wouldn’t mind if you fell asleep. I’d enjoy watching over you while you rest.”

“See? I told you,” Corvin teased. “You’re steady and calm. At your best, you make people feel safe and at ease.”

“But I don’t feel that way a lot—” Livia said.

“Which is why you’re so good at helping others feel that way,” Corvin said. “You are considerate and thoughtful, Livia.”

His gentle praise was like a balm. Livia’s tears dried, and her body relaxed. Corvin tilted his head down and pressed his lips to her forehead. He let his lips linger there on her hairline as he inhaled and exhaled. Initially, the kiss irritated her. Then the contact settled into her skin. The longer his lips lingered, the more pleasant the sensation became.

Corvin pulled away and settled back into the couch. Livia missed the touch of his lips, but she didn’t complain or ask for more. Instead, she accepted the moment and enjoyed the silence and stillness that descended between them again. She didn’t know how much time had passed before Corvin tapped her back several times and said, “Liv, I gotta go. I have an errand to run before I go to sleep tonight.”

Livia sighed and pulled away. “Thanks for coming over.”

Corvin left her with another lingering forehead kiss that warmed Livia for a long time after he went.