Rogue of Taurus

Bk 2: Citizen of Caesarea--Chapter 32



Aurelia pulled Livia aside after dinner that evening. “Livia, in your mother’s day, weddings were strictly traditional. However, things have become more liberal recently. Some families choose to do things the modern way completely. Most weddings strike a balance between convenience and tradition. For instance, it’s still quite popular to do traditional braids in your hair for the ceremony.”

“What does that look like?” Livia asked.

Aurelia grasped her phone and pulled up many beautiful pictures of an intricate crown of braids. “These are exactly what we’d do for your hair—”

The style appealed to Livia. She wouldn’t need to spend hours dealing with curling irons or blow dryers. Even better, there would be no hair spray. The low-tech option pleased her. Livia smiled. “I’d love that. I’d enjoy the traditional braids.”

Aurelia looked relieved. “Now, your clothes are your clothes. Corvin does favor a suit over a toga, but that matches your dress perfectly.”

Livia had discovered that Corvin had arranged for the dress they purchased yesterday to be dry cleaned. Epiphany would drive with her Aunt Silvia to pick it up this morning. He had also arranged to replace the original buttons with the ones they’d purchased at the wedding store.

Aurelia continued. “Garnet has a knack for floral arranging and has most of the bouquets done. Unfortunately, a suitable cake couldn’t be arranged—” Aurelia hesitated as if she feared Livia would complain.

Livia nodded. “I understand.”

“But Corvin wanted to share some sort of cake with you. In ancient times, it was custom for the groom to crumble bread over his bride’s head and then share it with her, a symbol of the commitment to care for each other’s needs.”

“Do we want cake or bread?” Livia asked.

“Well, a cake is rather messy for the ancient way, but if you prefer cake, you can eat it the modern way. It won’t make a difference to Corvin. He’s flexible.”

But Livia wanted to do it the ancient way, sensing that the tradition was important to Aurelia’s family by the way the inflection in her tone changed.

“Why don’t I make cornbread?” Livia asked. “It’s easy to crumble and—”

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Aurelia sounded so happy that Livia knew she had read her right. “But you don’t have to do anything—”

“What else will I do while I wait for everyone to get here?” Livia asked.

“Well, I was going to show you the accommodations for the night,” Aurelia stood.

“Who will make the cornbread?” Livia asked.

“Melanie and Alia will be excited to help. I’m sure.”

Livia wasn’t sure, but the girls jumped to their feet and rushed to the kitchen as soon as their mother made the request. Livia gave them a link to a recipe she was familiar with, and they got to work.

Then Aurelia led her to the suite she and Lars had stayed in during the vacation. “Lars and I will bunk with the girls tonight. They’re so excited,” Aurelia said with a warm smile, letting Livia know she wasn’t upset about turning the room over to Livia and Corvin.

The large king bed at the center of the room had been stripped of all sheets and bedding. Aurelia followed her gaze and explained. “We’re switching out the sheets. Don’t worry. It will look beautiful this evening.”

Aurelia walked to a chest at the foot of the bed and opened it. Livia looked in, curious. She frowned at the empty container. “There’s nothing in it….”

“It’s a cooler,” Aurelia explained. “It will be full of ice and other things that Garnet and Lucius have found to make their time together more pleasant.”

Livia’s face flamed with heat. “Corvin knows the details, so you may ask him or me now.” Aurelia folded her hands together and straightened. Her face was clear of any embarrassment or judgment.

Livia studied her silently, calculating the cost of asking her questions. Would Corvin be angry or irritated? Knowing Corvin, he’d be mad she didn’t ask questions when she had the chance, which meant she should ask. Right? Except, she’d risk that Aurelia thought poorly of her, which wasn’t how she wanted to start the relationship with her mother-in-law. But would she think worse of Livia if she turned down the offer for information or accepted it?

Before Livia could say anything, Garnet and Corvin entered the room, carrying laundry baskets.

“You make the bed,” Garnet said. “I’ll set up the bathroom.”

“Got it,” Corvin agreed. “Liv! Good Morning!”

“I was showing her the room,” Aurelia said.

“And probably having a little chat,” Corvin grinned as if knowing exactly what they were discussing.

“We didn’t get far with the chat part,” Aurelia admitted.

Garnet laughed. “Aurelia, she’s Taurus. She’s not likely to chat. She won’t value information more than her anxieties like a Lupus would.”

Aurelia frowned. “Then how do you advise we proceed?”

Garnet briefly disappeared into the bathroom with her basket, then returned with empty hands. She strode over to a dresser and opened the top drawer. She pulled out a folder and pushed the drawer shut. She walked over to Livia.

“There’s no shame learning through experience,” Garnet said. “However, if you’d wish to know more, Livia, I prepared this folder of papers for you.”

Livia accepted the folder. She looked at Aurelia and Corvin. They watched her with those calm, stoic faces that showed no emotion. That made her so nervous. She wanted some sort of cue that would tell her what to do. Should she open it now? Should she read it at all? Sometimes ignorance meant less worry. What Garnet said appealed to her. Why couldn’t she just…experience things before she dissected them with dread and anticipation?

Aurelia bowed her head. “Livia, I’ll check on how the cornbread is coming.”

Aurelia left the room. Garnet bustled off to the bathroom, and Livia could hear her bustling around. That left her facing Corvin. She studied him, uncertain.

He lifted the basket of sheets in his hands. “Want to help me make the bed?”

“Sure,” Livia agreed.

Livia approached the opposite side of the bed that Corvin had selected. Was it strange that she was nervous about sleeping in such a large bed? She hadn’t ever slept in a bed larger than a twin. Of course, she wouldn’t fall off, but what if she felt trapped? Or got wrapped up in the blankets and panicked?

“I hope my mom didn’t offend you, Liv,” Corvin said, shuffling through the linens in the basket. He found the bottom sheet and pulled it out.

“No, I just…didn’t know if asking her things was a good idea.”

“Why not?” Corvin asked.

“She might think I’m stupid, or you might prefer I ask you—” she said.

“I have no preferences in this matter,” he said. “It’s solely your choice.”

Corvin tossed the sheet over the bed. Livia caught a corner of the fabric in the air. She discerned which corner belonged at the bottom of the bed and pulled it there.

“What if I don’t want to know anything?” she demanded. “I’ll just have even more to worry and fret over. Then I’ll be more stressed out, which will make the whole thing miserable.”

Livia stopped talking when her emotions seeped into her voice and focused on straightening the corner sheet over the curve of the mattress. Then she moved to the corner at the head of the bed and fixed the sheet there. She was so involved in what she was doing that she hadn’t noticed that Corvin had walked around the bed until he stood beside her.

“Oh no!” she cried, and she jumped back. She knocked into the bedside table and had to reach out to steady the lamp so it didn’t fall over.

“Liv, I’m not angry,” Corvin reassured her. “I’m here to comfort you.”

She still held herself stiffly when he grabbed her hand. “Liv, Hun, I’m sorry if you feel we’re trying to force information on you. It honestly didn’t occur to me that you’d prefer to ‘learn through experience’ as that’s not a very Lupus thing to do.”

“You prefer to worry?” Livia asked.

“Having knowledge makes me worry less.”

“That’s not always true,” Livia argued, keeping Corvin at a distance.

“You’re right,” he said. “I suspect we’re having our first Lupus/Taurus misunderstanding. You’ve every right to decide how, when, and where you obtain information about sex.”

Livia relaxed a little. She allowed Corvin to pull her closer. He eased her into a hug and held her until she melted against him. “It’s alright,” he whispered. “Everything is going to be alright. I promise I’ll take care of you.”

Livia pulled back. “It’s not that I want to be ignorant forever. It’s just not good timing. I’m already worried about so many things—”

Corvin nodded. “What are you worried about?”

“Am I going to be trapped in that huge bed?”

Corvin looked surprised. He looked back at the bed. “What?”

“It’s so big. What if I need to get out quickly?” Livia asked.

“Why would you need to get out quickly?” Corvin asked, confused.

Then Livia realized she was carrying fears from her childhood that weren’t typical. It was always a gut punch when she realized something like that. She shook her head and took a step back.

“Hold on,” Corvin said gently. “Don’t run away from me. It’s okay, Liv. Just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s not valid. Talk to me.”

“Just…as a kid, it was safer to get out of bed fast—” Livia said.

“Why?” Corvin asked.

She shrugged. “Sometimes it wasn’t safe.”

Corvin’s face fell. “Would someone come into your bed and hurt you?”

Livia realized he meant something different than she was talking about. “Not like that—not…touching me…not sexually.”

“Okay, then how?”

“Our Father would come home angry, and it was better to run out of the house. You never knew what time he’d come home drunk.”

“Would you sleep outside?” Corvin asked.

“Sometimes,” Livia admitted.

“What if the weather was cold?” Corvin asked.

Livia shrugged. “Then it was cold.”

“I see.” Sadness passed through Corvin’s expression and disappeared behind his cool mask. “Liv, I promise you’ll always be safe in my bed.”

“Even if it’s big?” she half-joked.

Corvin smiled. “Even if it’s big.”

“I might not sleep tonight,” she warned.

“I don’t think people are expected to sleep much on their wedding night,” Corvin teased.

Livia gave him a playful shove. Corvin made a dramatic show of losing his balance. Livia let out a small yelp when he pulled her onto the bed with him when he fell over.

“Corvin!” she scolded him, trying to climb off the center of his chest.

He laughed. “Stay here. Get used to the bed a bit.”

Livia stopped. It was good advice. She plopped onto the mattress beside him. “Now what?”

“So, do you think it’s too soft or too hard?” Corvin asked.

“What is?” Livia asked.

“The mattress,” Corvin laughed.

“That’s a thing people think about?” Livia asked.

“Yeah, Liv,” Corvin said. “It’s a big thing.”

“As long as it’s inside and off the floor,” Livia said. “I don’t care.”

“Well, does the bed feel firm or soft to you?” Corvin insisted.

“Do you think it’s not soft enough?” Livia asked.

“I asked you first.”

It should be easy for Livia to answer. But it required her to process a lot of sensations she studiously ignored to keep functioning. She wanted to get upset and stomp away from this ridiculous conversation. She might have if she wasn’t coming back here tonight with Corvin as his wife.

“That’s a hard question for you—” Corvin observed.

Livia’s emotions got the better of her, and she could feel herself getting ready to cry. “Corvin, I shouldn’t be this messed up—”

“You’re not messed up. If you cry, it’s probably a good thing.”

“A good thing?” Livia asked, voice cracking.

“It’ll help release some of your stress,” he said.

“Part of me doesn’t want to do this because…I don’t want to think of beds as hard or soft.”

“Why not?”

“Cause off the floor and inside is good enough. It’s a luxury to have more preferences than that—”

“You’re scared to want a bed a specific way?” Corvin asked.

“That doesn’t make sense—”

“No, it makes sense to me,” Corvin said. “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer the question. I get it.”

Livia turned her face into the sheet and hid her face from him. She inhaled and realized the fabric smelled of lavender. She lifted her head and looked at Corvin. “I thought you said your aunt didn’t have detergent—”

“I had her buy a lavender-scented type yesterday,” Corvin said.

“For me?” Livia asked.

He nodded.

“Then you washed them….” Livia whispered. “That’s the nicest thing—”

Livia lowered her cheek against the sheet as a sweet feeling swept over her. She felt warm and cared for, and some of her defenses dropped. Her muscles let go of some of their tension. She realized the bed shifted in response to her movement. She ran her thumb along the mattress. “It’s soft,” she whispered.

Corvin nodded. “It’s very soft, Liv. One of the softest beds I’ve ever been in.”

“Do you like it?” she asked Corvin.

“I prefer a medium bed. Not too soft. Not too hard,” he said.

Livia closed her eyes and relaxed more. “I don’t know if I like this, but it feels good for now.”

Livia didn’t know how much time had passed when she opened her eyes next. Had she taken a nap? All she knew was that when she looked at Corvin, he looked back with a soft look.

“Did I fall asleep?” she whispered.

“You rested,” Corvin said. “But it wasn’t long enough to fall asleep.”

Livia laughed. “Soft beds are dangerous.”

Corvin smiled. “It’s good to see you relaxed, Hun.”

“I like this too much,” Livia confessed. “I wouldn’t wake up in the morning if I owned a bed like this.”

Corvin’s grin deepened. “I like the idea of staying in bed with you all day.”

Livia snorted. “You’d get bored.”

Corvin laughed. “Doubtful.”

“What would we even do?” Livia insisted.

Corvin rolled toward her. Livia should move or push him away, but she didn’t. Instead, she watched him come close, let him lower his lips over hers.

“Wait,” she whispered, pulling back. “Your Aunt.”

“She left to help in the kitchen for a moment,” Corvin said.

“So, we’re alone—”

“We’re alone,” he confirmed. “For a moment.”

“Will you kiss me like you did at the TARP party?” Livia begged. “It felt so good.”

Corvin kissed her, parting her lips with his tongue, sending a thrill straight through her. But he stopped to ask, “That way? That’s what you mean?”

“Yes,” Livia whispered.

Then they were kissing, her hands were in his hair, and Corvin pulled her closer. Livia, to be quite honest, didn’t know the right way to kiss back, but Corvin didn’t seem to mind. His hands traveled slowly over her curves. Caught up in the storm of emotion, Livia forgot all about her limitations and reservations. Livia kissed him as long as she could before she had to tilt her head back to gasp for breath.

Corvin lowered his lips to her neck, but Livia flinched as the sensitive skin there rocketed sensations through her, reverberating straight to her core. It was overwhelming, almost painful.

Corvin froze. “That’s not good.”

“It’s a lot,” she admitted. “So much…”

“Too much,” he said.

“It’s still good, but….” A sound escaped out of the back of her throat, frustration and pleasure both.

“It’s better to stop now?” Corvin asked.

Livia nodded. “Or it won’t feel good anymore—”

Corvin kissed her forehead and then let her go.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“That was good, Liv. There’s no need to apologize for that,” Corvin said. “I don’t think we’ll have problems after we try a few tricks.”

“You shouldn’t get your hopes up,” Livia said.

She sat up, trying to shake off the reverberations of that one kiss. She wanted to avoid all contact with everything. She slid off the bed and stood up.

“You’re still overwhelmed,” Corvin observed.

Livia’s eyes filled with tears. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

“Come with me to the shower,” he said.

“No,” she snapped. “I don’t want wet skin.”

“Then cry,” Corvin said.

“No,” Livia rebelled. She stuffed down her feelings and refused to cry. Yet, not crying made her feel furious. She scolded herself. This was the way she’d acted with Arik. She didn’t want to behave the same way with Corvin.

“Corvin, help,” she cried.

“Hun, will you trust me enough to try cold water?”

A single sob burst from Livia’s throat because the idea sounded horrible. “Fine.”

Livia cried the entire way to the shower. Even through her tears, Livia recognized it as one of the nicest bathrooms she’d ever seen. It was paved with natural stone and contained ample counter space and a large tub. The shower stood at the far end of the room with a clear glass door.

Corvin turned on the shower and shoved her hand into the stream of water. Livia gasped, expecting the worst. Instead, the cold water soothed all her bad feelings away.

“Corvin,” she whispered.

“Yes, Liv?”

“That’s nice.”

“I know, Liv.”

Livia turned her hand around in the water. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m suddenly so thirsty,” she whispered. “I just want to drink water.”

Corvin told her to stay and enjoy the water, and he’d return. Livia drank the entire glass of ice water he brought to her and felt back to normal.

Her eyes met Corvin’s. “I’m crazy.”

“No, you’re not crazy. Don’t say that.”

“This is not normal—”

Corvin teased. “You’re not normal. You’re Taurus.”

“That’s not funny right now.”

“Liv, it’s not a joke,” Corvin said. “If you grew up here, you’d be used to it. You can’t compare yourselves to non-civs. It’s damaging. You’re Taurus.”

Livia closed her eyes. “Corvin, you’re really okay with all this? You still want to marry me?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation.

“But—”

“But?” he asked.

“It’s weird….”

“It’s not weird to me, Liv. It’s how I grew up, Hun. This is what it means to be a citizen of Caesarea. We accept our quirks and the quirks of others, and we love ourselves and our lovers despite them.”

“But it’s….” Livia tried to find a word.

“Reality,” Corvin said.

Livia laughed. How apt! Livia was constantly reminding herself to accept reality stoically. “Right. I guess you’re right. We’ll deal with it.”

“We will, and we’ll be happy, Hun.”

“I hope so,” Livia said. “I want us to be happy.”

“We will be,” Corvin assured her.

“Corvin,” Aurelia’s voice called from the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt your privacy, but we need to start Livia’s hair to be ready for the ceremony.”

Corvin switched off the shower stream. “No problem, Mom. She’s coming.”


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