Chapter 69
As Ashleigh left the living room and made her way across the main hall, she inhaled deeply, seeking solace and composure. Her mind raced with a flurry of emotions, but she endeavoured to regain her equilibrium as she approached the front door. Out of the corner of her eye, she detected Mrs Henry's watchful gaze, her keen eyes conveyed a mixture of curiosity and concern, as if she sensed the turmoil swirling within Ashleigh. Ashleigh's mother continued to entertain Sofia, unaware of the inner turmoil that raged within her daughter. As she approached the front door, Ashleigh felt a hand reach out and gently clasp hers.
“Mummy, where are you going?” Sofia's soft voice broke the silence.
Ashleigh turned to face her daughter, her heart filled with both love and trepidation. She still couldn’t believe that the adorable little girl who looked up at her, her wide blue eyes so sweet and innocent, was once her best friend Wesley. And yet, things felt different now, why did she instantly know that the little girl was her daughter? Why did she feel such a maternal bond the instant she looked into those big, soulful blue eyes. could she ever learn to forgive the stunt that Elijah and Wesley had pulled?
“I…I'm just going outside for a little bit, sweetheart,” Ashleigh replied, her voice trembling slightly. “I'll be back soon…I promise.”
Sofia's eyes narrowed, and she looked at Ashleigh with a knowing gaze.
“Are you okay, Mummy?” she asked, her small hand still clutching Ashleigh's.
Ashleigh hesitated for a moment, torn between wanting to confide in her daughter and protecting her from her own worries. But in the end, she couldn't bear to lie.
“I'm not sure, honey,” she admitted, crouching down to her daughter's level. “But I'll be okay. I just need a little bit of time alone.”
Sofia nodded slowly, her eyes filled with understanding, way beyond her years.
“Okay Mummy…I'll be here when you get back,” she said softly with a smile that melted Ashleigh's heart.
Ashleigh couldn’t help but smile back at her. No matter how angry she was at Elijah and Wesley and with the whole situation, the red-haired little girl who stood before her, though she once was Wesley, was an innocent party in all of this. She couldn’t find it within herself to be mad at Sofia. After all, technically, SHE had done nothing wrong.
“Now…Sofia…you be a good girl for Grandma and Mrs Henry…okay,” said Ashleigh.
Sofia nodded solemnly.
“I will, Mummy,” she said before turning and running back to Grace, who instantly wrapped her arms around the little girl as she returned to her.
As Ashleigh stood upright, she glanced towards the doorway of the living room, at Elijah, who had stood silently, observing the entire exchange, his arms folded.
Without so much as a word, Ashleigh continued on her way, opening the front door before stepping outside into the chill of the evening air. As she began to make her way towards her car, she heard the front door to the house open behind her,
“Miss Ashleigh,” called out Mrs Henry, “Is everything alright?”
Ashleigh turned and forced a strained smile.
“Yes, Mrs. Henry. I just need to step out for a bit,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper, trying to mask her true emotions.
Mrs Henry gave her a knowing look,
“I wasn’t born yesterday…Miss Ashleigh,” said Mrs Henry, “It’s written all over your face…besides…it’s fairly obvious when that huge rock is missing from your finger.”
“I am FINE…Mrs Henry,” exclaimed Ashleigh as she slammed her car door behind her, isolating herself from the outside world.
As she sat in her car, Ashleigh couldn't help but feel a wave of heartbreak wash over her. The love and happiness she had once shared with Elijah were now shattered into pieces. She had been betrayed and lied to, and her trust had been broken.
She watched silently as Mrs Henry made her way back inside the house before she started up the car and began to make her way up the driveway.
Ashleigh mindlessly drove in silence for about an hour before eventually pulling up at a secluded spot on the coast, far beyond the edges of the city in which she lived.
She looked out towards the sea, in the darkness it appeared nothing more than a dark, empty void, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore became a mournful symphony, mirroring the turmoil within her soul.
“God dammit Elijah,” she thought, she couldn’t imagine a future without him or her mother in it, especially just yet. Yet, here she was, facing the prospect of a life devoid of both, the thought of which filled her with an unbearable sense of emptiness.
“How can Mum not a least want to fight this? Especially now…” she pondered as she placed her hand on her tummy.
She thought long and hard about her mother’s illness, unable to fathom a reason why she would be unwilling to undergo treatment. How long had she known she was ill? Was it too late for conventional methods? Now that Wes was no longer an option, was there another way she could seek out help from Wesley’s machine?
“Think Ash…for fucks sake…there must be another way,” she muttered, her voice a desperate plea to herself. The impossible was now the only option, the only hope. But how could she access the machine, now that Wes was gone? Was there another way, another path she hadn't considered?
Ashleigh then couldn’t help but toy with the idea that, if somehow, there was a way to still gain access to Wes’ machine, would she simply help her mother? If things between her and Elijah were as broken as she currently felt they were, would the allure of returning to her manhood be too overwhelming? How would her unborn child affect that decision? Would it even be possible? Or would she have to wait until the child was born?
Her mind turned to her relationship with Elijah, a love that had consumed her heart. Their time together had been a whirlwind of emotions, unlike anything she had ever experienced. The memory of his touch, his laughter, brought her unbridled joy. But now, a shadow of doubt hung over their bond. A mistake had been made, one that threatened to tear them apart. Yet, the thought of living without him by her side seemed even more painful than the hurt he had caused. Was the love they shared worth fighting for? Maybe, but the path forward seemed uncertain.
How could Elijah expect her to care for Sofia? She couldn’t get her head around what Elijah was asking of her. Ashleigh could never forgive Wesley for that night in the Ashton-Burns manor, no matter how hard she tried. Not only that but he was the man who had set this whole chain of events in motion. From the outset, Wesley had tricked his best friend into switching genders, just to attend Pippa’s wedding. And yet…without setting off this chain of events, her life would have been incredibly different if she hadn’t become Ashleigh that initial time. She would have still been Aaron, with an existence that consisted of working behind a bar or getting drunk the nights he wasn’t working. Without Wesley, Ashleigh would never have met Elijah, fallen deeply in love with him and now carry his child.
And now Wesley is no more, nothing but a distant memory, with Sofia left in his place. A little girl, who by all accounts, appeared to be Ashleigh’s biological daughter. She had absolutely no recollection of who she was before, the life that she once lived or things that had been done. When Ashleigh thought of Sofia, she could think of nothing other than a sweet, innocent, little girl. In a way, it was Elijah’s caring, protective nature, something which she truly loved about him, that had brought this about. He truly would go to extreme lengths to protect those that he loved.
“Fuck this…I need some kind of release from all this…this bullshit,” she thought, starting up the car. “What would Aaron do in this situation?
With that thought still echoing within her mind, Ashleigh began to make her way back to the city. Instead of turning towards home, towards the place where she knew Elijah would be awaiting her return, Ashleigh found herself veering towards the city centre. The familiar streets, the towering buildings, the constant hum of activity, a part of the city it felt like she hadn’t visited in a lifetime.
Before she knew it, Ashleigh pulled up outside of her old apartment building, hoping for some type of inspiration as to what direction her life should go. Looking at it now, the area seemed so run down and dishevelled compared to how her life with Elijah and the Ashton-Burns family. Even though it was merely months since she moved out of the place, it was a far cry from the home in which she now lived, it now seemed rather humble and modest.
Ashleigh couldn't help but look up at the windows of her old apartment, a flicker of curiosity mixed with a pang of sadness. The lights were on, a testament to the new occupants, strangers living a life she once knew intimately. It was an unsettling sensation, seeing the space filled, yet knowing it was neither her nor Wes that was home. It was a space that held memories, ghosts of laughter and dreams, but it was no longer hers. It was a reminder that time moves on and that even the most cherished memories can fade into the tapestry of the past.
She then thought back to that fateful day her life changed forever. The memory of Wesley coming home, frustrated by his mother’s insistence that he should have a date for Pippa’s wedding. The memory of how he tricked Aaron into what was meant to be a temporary, switch to female and being his pretend date for that weekend. Little did they know that this seemingly innocuous act would spark a chain of events that would forever transform their lives and intertwine their destinies in ways they could never have imagined.
She remembered fondly the night she spent with Eloise, before his transformation to Elijah. How she had been tucked up in bed before Eloise had tapped on her door, saying that she was unable to sleep. How the pair had spent their very first night together, peaceful in one another's company. Then there was Elijah, the night they returned from the hospital and the first time they ever made love. The touch of his hands, the heat of his body, the way he made her feel like the only woman in the world, his gaze holding her captive in a world of pure desire. How every inch of her body had quivered under his touch, a symphony of tingles and tremors that echoed the depth of her love. It was a night that forever cemented itself in her memory, a beacon of passion and devotion.
As she felt a tear begin to roll down her cheek, Ashleigh snapped herself back into the present and started up the car. Guided by autopilot, she pulled into a car park near the bar where she had once worked as Aaron.
She switched off the car and silently watched her old place of work across the street, as patrons came and went. Without conscious deliberation, Ashleigh retrieved her handbag and stepped out of the car. Her feet carried her across the street, each step echoing the weight of her past.
Entering the bar, she was immediately struck by the familiar scent of alcohol and the cacophony of voices. The sight of the bartenders, the clientele, and the dance floor stirred memories she had long suppressed.
Ashleigh took a seat at the bar, perched on a stool that seemed considerably taller than she recalled. The once-familiar surroundings now held a bittersweet resonance. As she sat there, observing the once-familiar surroundings, it didn’t take long before a rather tall man, wearing a rather well-worn leather jacket, seated himself beside her. He stood around 6 feet 3 inches tall, he exuded an aura of quiet confidence. His dark brown hair slicked back and reaching the base of his neck, framed a face that held both a hint of menace and an undeniable charisma.
His eyes, the colour of storm clouds, seemed to hold secrets, depths that hinted at a life lived with intensity and passion. A single, sharp crease etched across his forehead spoke of years of thought and perhaps, battles fought and won. His jawline, darkened with stubble, hinted at a rugged masculinity.
He moved with a quiet grace, his every gesture conveying a sense of power held in check. Ashleigh found herself drawn to him, intrigued by the enigmatic aura that surrounded him.
“May I offer you a drink, beautiful?” he inquired, his voice deep and resonant.
Ashleigh paused for a moment before noticing the man was speaking to her,
“Erm…no thank you,” she replied softly.
The man chuckled, a sound that sent a shiver down her spine,
“Oh come on,” he said, his persistence laced with a hint of playful amusement. “It's not every day a guy stumbles across a girl as beautiful as you.”
His words, delivered with a confidence that bordered on arrogance, weren't entirely unwelcome. Ashleigh felt a flicker of curiosity, a spark of intrigue ignited by this enigmatic stranger. He was a puzzle she wanted to solve, a story she wanted to read.
The man’s gaze held hers, a silent challenge. He was a whirlwind of contradictions, a storm in a leather jacket. Ashleigh, drawn to his intensity, felt a tug of something she couldn’t quite name. Was it danger? Was it desire? Or was it something far more complicated, a yearning for something she hadn't even realised she'd been missing?
The moment stretched, a silent conversation passing between them,
“I’m actually engaged,” said Ashleigh, finally breaking the silence.
“Oh yeah…” replied the man with a smile etched on his face, “I don’t see no engagement ring…relationship troubles?”
“Something like that,” replied Ashleigh, rolling her eyes.
Without another word, the man waved over to the bartender, a man named Eric whom Ashleigh knew from her days as Aaron.
“A beer for me and…whatever the lady wants,” stated the mystery man.
Ashleigh hesitated as she was put on the spot, the eyes of the mystery man and Eric the bartender were firmly on her,
“I…I…vodka and cola…then please,” said Ashleigh nervously.
“Make that a double will you,” said the man with a playful wink to the bartender.
“Sure thing,” replied Eric as he began to prepare the drinks.
“So…I didn’t get your name…” stated the man, “Or shall I just call you Miss I’m engaged?” he added with a smile.
“Who does this guy think he is?” thought Ashleigh as she laughed at the confidence this mystery man displayed.
“Ashleigh,” she replied.
The man's gaze held hers, his enigmatic smile deepening.
“Ashleigh, he repeated, as though he were tasting her name. “A pleasure to meet you, Ashleigh.”
“And you are?” asked Ashleigh, as Eric returned with their order.
“Oh...shit, my bad,” said the man as he paid for the drinks, “The names Johnny…but my friends call me J.D.”
“Nice to meet you too,” replied Ashleigh, “Thank you for the drink, Johnny.”
“Please,” said Johnny, “You can call me J.D.,” he added with a smile.
As they sipped their drinks, Ashleigh found herself drawn into J.D.'s world. He spoke with a raw honesty that left her both intrigued and unsettled. He was a man who had lived on the edge, but there was also a vulnerability that flickered in his eyes.
J.D. continued to order drinks for himself and Ashleigh, switching to soft drinks as he planned to ride his motorcycle home. However, Ashleigh continued to indulge in alcohol, allowing herself to unwind and forget her troubles, if only for a brief moment.
“I…I think I need a cigarette,” mumbled Ashleigh, climbing down from her bar stool and grabbing hold of J.D.’s arm to steady herself.
“I think I’ll join you, you know…to keep you safe,” said J.D. with a smile.
The pair began to make their way outside, the chill of the night air hitting Ashleigh like a sudden blast. With shivering hands, she reached into her handbag to retrieve her cigarettes.
“Here,” said J.D. taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders, his smile instantly making Ashleigh feel warmer.
“Thank you,” she uttered as she placed a cigarette to her lips and began to fumble around in her handbag.
As she looked up, J.D. was already there, his hand outstretched, a lighter held aloft. The flickering flame illuminated his features, a gentle smile playing on his lips.
Ashleigh gently leaned forward, lighting her cigarette before J.D. lit his own.
“So…how’re you getting home to your…fiancé?” asked J.D., his tone somewhat playful.
“I…I drove here…but I haven’t thought about getting home yet,” replied Ashleigh, laughing rather nervously, taking a drag of her cigarette.
“Well…” began J.D., “Ever been on the back of a motorcycle?” he asked, a mischievous smile dancing across his lips.
“I can’t say I have,” said Ashleigh, looking up at him, unable to prevent herself from smiling as their eyes met. Despite her better judgment, she couldn't resist a growing attraction.
“Well, how about you…come back to my place…and…then I can drop you off here in the morning…so you can pick up your car?” asked J.D., stepping forward towards her.
Ashleigh, captivated by his gaze, found herself drawn to his offer, a dangerous mix of impulse and attraction pulling her towards the unknown. The thought of her fiancé, her life, her mother and her responsibilities, all faded away as she found herself perched on the back of his motorcycle, her arms wrapped around him, the wind whipping through her hair.
The night air, once cold and unforgiving, now felt exhilarating, a rush of adrenaline matching the thrumming of the engine beneath her.
As they sped through the city streets, the familiar landscape morphed into a blurry kaleidoscope of light and shadow. The city lights, once symbols of her routine, now seemed to pulse with a life of their own, a vibrant energy that resonated with a newfound freedom, if only for a brief time.