Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

-3rd Person POV-

Palisades High School.

As Haley arrived at school, she waited for Dylan at the place where he usually parked his blue muscle-junk-car from the 1970s.

The car's appearance could be confused by a 1970 plymouth duster, but it had lost its value years ago. Dylan had bought the car for 1000 dollars after working in the summer and saved up all his money for it. The crappy car finally pulled up 10 minutes before school started.

"Dylan!" Haley strutted toward Dylan who just arrived and was getting out of his car. His nose was patched up and clear bruises could be seen on his face.

"Haley. I-" Dylan said in a nasally voice as his nostril was blocked.

SLAP!

Haley slapped Dylan ruthlessly before he could say anything.

"I can't believe you don't trust me! I told you that Edward and I are only friends. Why can't you listen to me?! You had to go and jump him like that?"

"Haley, I didn't! That was Brian!" Dylan tried to defend himself, but Haley was already so frustrated by him.

"We're over!" Haley said and stomped off toward her class. They had only been dating for a month, and in that time span, Haley had broken up with him 3 times now. But this time, she was really angry at him and their breakup might be permanent.

Especially when he imagined Edward as his Uncle Mitchell when he was young. She had heard the stories from Uncle Mitchell and Cam – mostly from Cam, about how confused, how afraid they were, how they lost friendships, how people viewed them as weirdos, and all of that.

She couldn't accept the fact that his boyfriend was now one of the bad guys in Uncle Mitchell's story. Even though Haley seemed like she didn't care, family means everything to her.

As she entered the school, she walked to the girls toilet and called her Uncle Mitchell to tell him about what happened.

-Cam and Mitchell's house-

"Lily. Say goodbye to Daddy. Say Goodbye to Daddy." Cam puppeted Lily's hand to wave goodbye at a well-dressed Mitchell in a suit as her other daddy was going to work this morning.

"Hmm. I still think I should take a day off today." Mitchell said longingly. However, his boss already called him as the deposition had been moved up to Tuesday, so Mitchell would have to stay back today.

As Mitchell walked out of the house, he received a call from Haley. He was a bit confused as it was 8 in the morning, so he thought that Haley had forgotten something in his house at the dinner party.

"Hello?" Mitchell picked up the call.

"Uncle Mitch. Something happened." Haley said directly. Mitchell quickly became serious and turned back toward his house.

"Hey, Daddy's back again?" Cam said in confusion as he kept playing with Lily.

"Uh-huh. And then. Uh-huh." Mitchell listened to the story Haley was telling, while Cameron became increasingly curious about his return.

"What happened? What happened?" Cam asked with a whisper. Mitchell put the phone on his chest and said in a low voice, "Cam, Eddy got jumped by some kids after going home yesterday. His face is all bruised up."

"WHAT!" Cam yelled in a manly voice that was different from the one he usually used.

"Yeah. And Haley had broken up with her boyfriend who apparently…got jealous of Edward and ...."

"Don't make me wait, you monster." Cam said urgently as Mitchell cut his sentence short.

"And…her boyfriend was there among the people who attacked Ed." Mitchell said dramatically.

Cam gasped and covered his mouth.

"She is asking what she should do now." Mitchell asked.

"Talk to Ed. See if he's okay. Alex is one school with him right? Call Alex. Let her check up on him." Cam advised. After calming the teenage girl, Mitchell ended the call after advising her with what Cam said.

"Should I call Pepper?" Mitchell asked.

"Yes. Definitely." Cam said. "I will call Ed's dad to see if he knows anything about it. I will call you and tell you about it later. You should go now. You're going to be late."

Mitchell finally realised that he was standing frozen near the door for multiple minutes now. "Yeah. I should. But wait…Ed is…not gay right?" Mitchell asked.

Cam flipped his right hand multiple times, "Ehhh~ 50-50. If he didn't make the baby clothes before, I might have changed my mind about it. But the cake…"

"Yeah. The cake.." Mitchell said and then he concluded. "So…still ambiguous. I think Haley thinks… he's gay…"

"We should resolve the misunderstanding…after we check up on him. He's practically family now." Cam said decisively.

As Mitchell walked to his car the second time, he got a text from Haley. He ran back to the house in a hurry and almost yelled as he opened the front door.

"Cam. Edward…has a girlfriend. A HOT ONE!"

As Mitchell yelled that, Cameron who was speaking on his phone closed his mouth with his hand and said, "So. He isn't gay? Or…"

-Highschool-

"Haley, are you here?" Tara, one of Haley's close friends, entered the girls' toilet after class had started and Haley wasn't in the classroom. She was a white girl with a single lock of braids in her hair and she wore denim themed clothing to school today.

"I heard about what Dylan did." Tara said. "He met Edward this morning, do you know about that?" She asked.

Haley opened the toilet door and asked, "What happened?"

"Ed came to drop off his girlfriend. You know, Abby. The goth chick." Tara gossiped.

"He has a girlfriend?!" Haley asked in shock. "And she's even older than I am!"

Haley was a bit confused by what she was feeling at this moment. Was she relieved, concerned, or jealous?

"I need to talk to Abby." Haley said.

"Let's go to the class first. You can meet her at the cafeteria." Tara said and pulled her toward the class. Haley texted Mitchell the new information when she got it, but she had to keep her phone away as the teacher didn't allow using their phone in class.

-Dunphy's house-

After Claire had dropped off the kids, she returned home and got a call from Cam the moment she parked the car in front of the house.

"Claire, have you heard?" Cam asked from the other line.

"Heard what?" Claire asked. "Hurry up and say it Cam, I need to get ready to meet Ed's dad."

After Alex persuaded her non-stop as they returned from Mitch and Cam last night, Claire decided to call Ted this morning and learn more about what the job entails from the boss.

"It's about Ed. He got jumped by a few kids." Cam said after teasing Claire with his pause. Claire was surprised and said, "That's why his face is messed up this morning (Minor injury)."

"You saw him? Why didn't you ask him?" Cam asked accusingly.

"Well. He was on his bike. It's not like he stopped by for breakfast." Claire defended herself snidely.

Then, she heard what Mitchell yelled to Cam after he returned to the house for the second time.

"He's got a girlfriend? Good for him." Claire said sincerely. 'And with him having a girlfriend, the chances he will make a move on my daughters are smaller.' She thought.

As Claire drove to the Marina, she found Ted who was trying hard to calm down the person on the other side of the call. She stood nearby Ted without him realising it.

"Pepper. I know about that. I already asked Eddy about it. He said he's not pressing charges. And the boys couldn't even touch him. The reason his face is a mess was…he stepped on a rake as he turned back. That's it."

Claire burst into laughter, causing Ted to notice her presence. "Hey Claire. Wait a bit. I'm finishing up this call. No Pepper, we don't need lawyers!! NO! DON'T march down to the school, this is not a gang fight!!"

Claire was speechless after she heard the exaggerated response from this 'Pepper' person. In her mind, she couldn't connect the angry Pepper and the Pepper she met once in the cafe together. After 15 minutes, an exhausted Ted finally sat down in front of Claire in the tourism office he rented in the Marina.

"Here." Ted gave a stack of paper written by Edward that consisted of the direction the company was heading and the details for Claire's job and how she could handle it all from home.

As she dived deeper and deeper into the document, Claire couldn't help but be sceptical, "Edward done all of this? Or did you hire a specialised consultant?"

"All him." Ted said proudly.

…

-Edward POV-

The bell rang, and the first period was now over.

"Dude. Who did you fight?" Jacob cornered me to ask questions about my bruise. The potato kid wasn't among any cliques in school, therefore he didn't hear yet the rumours ruminating in school.

"Brad Pitt." I replied teasingly.

Among the rumours were, Dylan and I fought a duel to decide who would back off in pursuing Haley.

There were also rumours about me getting even with Brian and Dylan, and there were also rumours about Brian wanting to end my music career by smashing my hands. The rumours keep growing to become larger and larger, the details were twisted, and the facts were ignored.

Abby texted me after the first period was over.

Abby: Continue with the girlfriend thing just a little while longer. It's freaking fun here!

I smiled at the fellow agent of chaos and texted her back.

Edward: Of course I will. My dear 'girlfriend.'

Abby: 😜😘😘(winky face with tongue out emoji) (Blowing kissing emoji)

Most of the ordinary children at school had friended Haley on Facebook, whether they were high school students or middle school students, so they already knew I spent the day at the Dunphy's yesterday.

Abby was having so much fun watching people's reaction when they knew she was dating a kid 3 years younger than her. After the science class with Mrs Henderson, I was approached by Alex while I was fetching my books from the locker.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Alex asked as she stood behind me when I was opening the locker. I turned toward her after getting out my book and said, "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"You had a fight. Of course I'll ask." Alex said with a mixture of sarcasm and concern.

I smiled and said, "Thank you Alex. You're the first person… in school that asked me if I'm okay instead of who I fought with."

Jacob scratched his cheek as he was within earshot when I said that. The moment Alex approached me, he took 5 steps back to get away to safety from the 1.4 m girl. He realised that he did something wrong, but he couldn't apologise because of Alex's barrier.

Alex looked at me with concerned eyes, "Have you gotten it checked?"

"Don't worry, it's just a simple bruise." I said comfortingly.

"What happened anyway? Tell me the full story." Alex demanded. But, before I could answer anything, Alex flinched as she looked at the space beside me and stopped talking immediately.

"Ed~ Who hurt you like this?" Jenna Mckenzie appeared out of nowhere and tried to touch my face. I widened my eyes, not because I was shocked that she was there, but because of her appearance today.

Her blonde hair had been dyed brown, and she was trying to emulate Haley by wearing the same outfit Haley had worn last week. However, she applied a gothic style makeup that was similar to what Abby was wearing this morning.

Her loyal friend, the baggy-jacket-wearing Elsa, was staring at me with dissatisfaction from afar – while she was standing next to Jacob.

"What?" Elsa turned to Jacob and asked as the boy was stealing glances at her. However, Jacob froze from the single word, and stepped back robotically for another 10 steps, causing Elsa to stare at him in confusion.

As I was shocked, Jenna managed to touch my face and brightened up as I didn't show a rejection toward her like I always did. I grabbed her hand after being stunned for 5 seconds. Meaning she had 5 seconds of skinship and being affectionate before I stopped her.

"Why…?" I blurted out as I was confused by Jenna's sudden change. She had never changed her hair colour before nor was she interested in gothic stuff.

Jenna smiled and pointed at her entire body. "This is…the kind of girl you like. Right?" She smiled widely as she tried to get into my embrace. I took a step back from the weird situation, causing Jenna to have the eyes of an abandoned puppy.

"Did you…change yourself…for me?" I said in a horrible realisation. By denying her satisfaction, it grew into an obsession towards me. I needed to stop her before she descended into madness and kidnap me or something else.

Touching her hair, Jenna said, "Why? You don't like it? What kind of girls do you like? I will be that girl for sure!" Jenna said desperately.

She couldn't handle not being noticed by me any longer so she resorted to this type of method. I sighed and pitied the girl who was so lost in her life, that the only way she thought she would ever have any value was when she's with someone else. Direct rejection wasn't useful any longer. I needed to do it delicately now.

"You want to know what kind of girl I like?" I asked her. Jenna brightened up and said hurriedly, "Yes. Tell me. Do you want me to go goth? Or…be more like Haley?"

"Neither. I want you to be you." I said. Jenna was confused and she said, "But you don't like me as… me."

"Yeah. I don't. But she was much…much better than the person you're trying to be right now. I will tell you a secret that is only just for you… to stop doing things like this."

"What secret? Are you going to tell me the truth, or are you going to curse at me again?" Jenna said, visibly excited at the prospect of being cursed at – which weirded me out once more.

"I will tell you the truth. Come here…" I gestured to her to come closer.

As she drew closer, I whispered to her ears, "I don't like kids. That's all. My taste is an older woman. It's better that she's over 30, and has a dump truck ass on her."

Jenna dropped her jaw after she heard about my honest confession. I pulled my face away from her and said, "Now you understand?"

Alex darted her pupil between Jenna and I, trying to find out what I had just told Jenna as she couldn't hear about the whisper before. But she couldn't speak up, not when Jenna was around.

"Is that….really the truth?!" Jenna asked in shock.

"Yup." I replied casually and walked away as I pulled Alex with me, "I also love smart women. So pick up a book once in a while. If you got second place in the entire grade, or even just your class, then I will go out with you once."

Jenna thought about the matter deeply and asked from afar, "Why second place?"

I turned to her and smirked, "Cause the first place is already reserved…for me." I pointed at myself and smiled. Jenna was smitten once more, and her motivation to study had increased multiple folds as my smile was imprinted in her mind and added to her Edward moment files.

-3rd Person POV-

"What did he say?" Elsa asked as she approached Jenna. "He told me the reason why we're not dating."

"Did he curse at you again?" Elsa asked with gritted teeth. Jenna turned to her and said, "No. He told me the truth. It's not like he didn't like me, I'm just making a move too early."

"Why? Did he say he liked college girls or something?" Elsa asked.

Jenna touched her hair and said, "Let's go. I need to get to the salon and change my hair colour back."

"What? Are you going to skip school?" Elsa widened her eyes in shock.

"Of course not. I'm going to call my mommy to come pick me up. I am also going to need a tutor if I want to go on a date with Edward." Jenna said with a lovestruck expression. She then muttered underneath her breath. "I also need… Gasoline.."

"What was that?" Elsa asked as she didn't hear the last sentence.

"Nothing." Jenna smiled brightly and walked away.

Elsa wondered why Edward promised to go on a date with Jenna inwardly, and she stared at Jenna with incomprehensible eyes. Then, she turned to the direction Edward had left, and she thought about the robotic giant who retreated from her earlier.

"He's his friend right? He must know the reason for this. I need to talk to him." Elsa muttered, not knowing that it would be an easier mission to make a dog speak like a human rather than getting Jacob to speak with a girl.

…

The rumours about the fight had blown out of proportions as it resonated across the middle and high school. Some kids even saw Edward whispering to Jenna's ears, and now even Jenna had become an equation in the rumours.

A random girl said to his boyfriend, "I heard Dylan catches Edward sleeping with Haley, and went to beat him up, but he was the one who got beaten up."

Another random high school boy said in jealousy, "I heard Edward having s*x with both Haley and the Goth girl Abby at the same time."

"I heard Abby and Edward were blackmailing Jenna to become their pet."

"I heard Jenna had sex with Edward every single day."

"I heard Edward had…"

"I heard Haley was…"

"I heard Abby was…"

"I heard Dylan was…"

And so, the rumours had completely lost their substance and turned into tabloid news that became entertainment for the teenagers inside the city. The rumours didn't care about how it would affect the people involved, and only existed to be the most unbelievable yet "totally 100% true" story written by the teenager's imagination.