Reincarnation of a Worthless Man

Whoa, that's… pretty cool actually.

After her two employers packed up everything, the big guy rotated a lever on the back, revealing the fact that the whole stall was actually a convertible wagon. 

"Amazed? Good! I paid a fortune for that bad boy, you know. Got a whole team of dwarves working on it. But this way, I could handily set up shop anywhere I want! Which is really really important since I'm a traveling merchant and all." She patted her chest proudly.

“Where are you going anyway?” I asked, out of pure curiosity.

“I think I’m going to Mira next. Get some magic items that I can buy for cheap to be sold somewhere else. Gotta stock up on that kind of stuff, you know!” She grinned.

“And after that?”

“After that? Hmm, I dunno. I can go to Marchen first or I can go straight to the northwest. Haven’t really decided to be honest.”

“You’re not paying a visit to Hobbiton?”

Suddenly, her cheerfulness vanished.

“You see, I’ve… kinda promised to Mom and Pops that I wouldn’t return until I’m a wealthy merchant. Well, it’s less like promising and more like me just shouting it at them before running away.” She confessed with a sad smile. “And business might be good right now, but I’m nowhere near wealthy. You saw how Rina shouted my company’s name? For now, it’s just me and those two. But in the future, I have a dream to open up other branch shops everywhere, like a proper trading company! Tell me, have you heard about the Rinea Corporation over in the Holy Continent?”

“Umm, no? I’ve never been there after all.”

“It’s the biggest trading company in the entire continent! They say it’s so wealthy and powerful that it can easily take over a small kingdom or two if it wants to! It has branches everywhere and it even has its own mercenary group too! Isn’t that just amazing?”

Her eyes were now shining like the stars themselves. Gone were the menacing mob boss-like attitude she showed before. Now she looked more like a little kid who’s excited from getting a candy.

"Aah, one day, I'll make my own company be that big! Just you wait!" She punched the air with a smile. "I'll sell high-quality goods on the cheap, becoming a company that everyone can trust! I want them to smile every time they hear the Bramblewood name!

This girl…

She's disgustingly naive.

How can she have this much optimism when all she has now is just a single wagon? How many years will it take her to have an international, continent-spanning company like that Rinea Corporation she mentioned? It's like if a mere street ramen seller with just a cart dreaming that he will have numerous ramen restaurants all over the country one day. It's simply impossible.

...No, it's not impossible. I've heard and read tales about it happening. A real life rags-to-riches story.

But what are the odds? All you hear are the success stories. Innumerable others failed horribly, getting into an awful amount of debt and then filing bankruptcy in the end. It's even worse if you actually borrow from unofficial lenders like those Yakuza loan sharks. Your life is pretty much over if you can't pay them back.

You never heard about them, of course. People only care about winners, not losers. 

As for dreamers like her, it's all survivorship bias, nothing more.

"I think you shouldn't dream that high, Sophie." I blurted out. I couldn't help myself. Even if she had gained quite the expertise in being a merchant, she's still naive in the ways of the world. "It's not healthy, you know, putting that high of an expectation on yourself."

"Really?" She looked genuinely curious. "Why not?"

"Because you would only set yourself up for disappointment."

To my surprise, her expression suddenly turned harsh. She now glared at me, with a genuinely angry look.

"That's how you will become a dissapointment in the first place."

What?!

"I would rather fail terribly than never trying at all. That way, at least I can be happy that I've given it my all. But you—your way, that's the way of a loser. You will never be happy living like that, wondering what could've been until the day you die."

"To think that I will hear those words coming out from my benefactor's little brother's mouth, I am disappointed in you, Hugo. Do you think Marina will like it if her beloved little brother turns out to be a coward like—"

SLAP

The hobbit fell to the ground.

My right hand… it flew on its own, slapping her with my full strength.

Before I knew it, I fell to the ground too, as a punch landed on my right cheek. Rudferd didn't hesitate to punch me back after I had hit his master.

He then grabbed me at the collar, lifting me up with his left hand to the air. His right hand was forming into a fist, no doubt intended to crash into my face over and over until he was satisfied.

"S-stop, Rudferd. Stop."

Sophie slowly stood up, wiping off the little blood on her lips with her sleeve.

"He's just a child. Put him down."

"But he hit you, Miss."

"True. But it's just him putting on a tantrum. He doesn't really mean it, alright?"

He then threw me down to the dirt.

"Leave. You are no longer welcome to talk to my master."

And I did just that, ignoring Sophie shouting at me to stop.

Only after I stopped running, I realized that once again, I was crying.

"U-uwaaahhh!"

I wailed like a pathetic child. No, even more pathetic, as I wasn't really a ten year old boy.

I hid in one of the nearby alleys, not wanting to be seen in public in my current state.

T-temper tantrum? W-what does she know? She's just a little girl who knows nothing about the world! I'm far older, far more experienced in life than she is! She has no right to say all that to me!

Of course, I was just lying to myself.

Deep down, I knew that she was right.

I'm a loser, a coward, and a disappointment. I'm a piece of human garbage through and through.

Not to mention that my dream was as pathetic as its owner. Unlike her, who reached for the skies, all I wanted was just to get a cute, loving girlfriend and then marry her afterwards, which was what every normal person out there already could do without a problem.

I took out one of the books I got from that vendor, quickly giving it a skim. Back in my old life, when I got upset, one way I would calm myself was by reading the books I had. 

It was titled "The Demon King Wants A Family." It was a story about a powerful demon king realizing that he wanted to experience love the same way humans do. He ended up proposing to the human maiden that was sacrificed to him by the other humans, and they immediately fell in love with each other. The demon king loved her for her innocence, and she loved him for being the only person that had ever cared about her and showed her love.

It was less of a porn book and more of just a sweet, saccharine-filled romance, though the author delightfully drew their intimate moments in bed together many times.

The two ended up having an adorable little daughter, and the epilogue was the demon king deciding that he would rather care about his family than to take over the world.

And that was how the world was saved. With love.

This is it. This is what I want.

It's terribly cheesy, but it's exactly what I want my life to be.

I want to have a beautiful woman as a wife, and then cute little children that will call me Daddy or Papa in the most adorable way.

I even am willing to bear being stuck in a painfully boring dead-end job if I can just have that when I return home.

Of course, if you tell me to go all out with my wish, then I will also want to become a rich and famous and even a powerful person. I want my name to be entered in the history books, so that I will leave a lasting mark on the world after I died.

I will also shamelessly wish to have more wives, because like the pervert I am, I want to experience having a harem like all those protagonists I've read about. I want to be surrounded by many beautiful women in bed who all craved for my touches and kisses. Of course, I will be a sex god who can satisfy them all every single night.

It's a perverse dream, fitting for a perverse person like me. I don't care to better the world or to help people, like Sophie is with her company. I just want to satisfy my sex drive and to pat my own ego in the back.

--------

In the end, I decided on just smuggling myself across the ocean.

I decided that I didn’t want to stay in this town any longer. Not with that hobbit around.

She’s right. I am a coward. I’m now running away from her. Just like how I ran away from Marina and Erika. At this point, I had accepted that fact.

I scouted the docks with the remaining sunlight, asking around with the sailors there which ships were going to depart to the Holy Continent—the sooner, the better.

After weighing my options, I decided on a cargo ship called the Bountiful Seamaiden. It departed right this night, which would just be perfect for my purpose.

With the pitiful amounts of money that I still thankfully had, I bought water and food for the trip. According to the sailors I’d talked to, it would take only five days to go across, with the ship arriving at the sixth.

Now, the question is, how should I sneak onboard?

Naturally, I would aim for the hull where all the cargo would be stored. With how large the ship was, and with how small I was, it should be easy for me to hide amongst all the crates and containers.

The problem was, how could I get there safely, without being spotted by any of the ship crew? They would certainly have people guarding the place. Not to mention that I would have to enter the ship in the first place. Thank God the port was a deep water port, so I could get direct access to the ship from land. If it was a shallow water port instead, you would need to ride a boat to get onboard the ship, as it couldn’t dock so close to land without grounding itself.

Well, I already knew where the ship was docked. I just had to wait until night fell and then look for my way in. The sailors said that it would depart at midnight, so I had some hours to spare before I would miss it.

----------

In the end, I could only think up one really risky and honestly pretty dangerous plan.

The ship was large, and on a moonless night like this, you couldn’t even see the part where the hull touched the seawater.

Perfect for a place where I could sneak in.

Here goes nothing!

I used my Wind Step as quietly as possible, flew over the surface of the water to that spot of the hull, and froze the water underneath me, creating a platform that I could stand (relatively) safely on. 

Whew, that’s the hardest part done. They didn’t seem to notice me, thanks to the night being so dark. I’m lucky that it’s winter right now.

Then, I used a precise fire spell to open a peephole in the wood. It’s basically Fireball, only that the heat is completely focused on the tip of my wand.

Hmm… let’s see here…

Umm, it’s all pitch black. That means nobody should be around. Anyone would be carrying lanterns inside the ship.

Using the same fire spell, I made a hole large enough for a child’s body to fit through. The wooden plank fell off inside, nearly giving me a heart attack, but no one seemed to react to the noise.

Good. There really isn’t anyone there then.

I then sneaked inside, landing on the wooden floor as gently as I could.

I paused for a few moments, sharpening my ears if I could hear anything around.

Nothing. Then I guess I could light up the room.

I did just that, using another fire spell, revealing the fact that I was lucky enough to end up straight in the cargo bay where they stored all their wooden crates and containers.

Nice! I didn’t expect it to go this smoothly to be honest!

I stopped the fire spell, not wanting to accidentally burn something. That would be disastrous.

I then turned back to the hole I just made. Using a hybrid spell of water and earth, I formed hardened mud to block the hole I just made, ensuring that the hull remained watertight.

And with that, my sneaking mission was a complete success.

Now, all I need to do is find a good spot that I can use as a makeshift camp.

--------

A few hours later, accompanied by a loud horn that permeated even all this way inside this storage, the ship finally departed.

I took a deep sigh of relief. They didn’t bother doing another throughout check this close to departure, I suppose.

I ended up taking a spot amongst five large crates that formed a U, allowing me to rest my back while at the same time hiding me away from view. I didn’t bother looking at what the crates contained, as I wouldn’t want to risk it by opening them. It could be fishes, it could be precious jewels, or it could be even gunpowder.

I admit it. I actually considered stealing their contents if they really contained jewels, but I stopped myself. I didn’t want to lower myself any further than I already am.

I’ll get my money by doing honest work. Once I’m in the Holy Continent, I would be safe to start anew as an adventurer. I’ll use a fake name even. I don’t believe the Guild has any rules against that.

As the ship started to move, I realized something.

...Oh right, I don’t know if this body is susceptible to seasickness like my old self was. Oh please, don’t get seasick. I’ll be screwed if I start vomiting around. The noise might alert someone that I’m here.

I really didn’t think this through, did I?

---------

For the next several days, I was stuck there in the dark, spending my time reading the books I had gotten for free using my dimly lit wand as a flashlight. It was all that I could do, other than sleeping, to pass the time. Luckily, no one really checked on the cargo. They probably locked the front door tight with guards standing at all times so they thought there would be no need to ever check the interior of the storage room.

As I had expected, the books were indeed, well, to put it frankly, trashy. They were the kind of books you would only read just to pass time, turning off your brain in the process. They had no merit whatsoever, literary or otherwise.

And yet, I continued to read them anyway. Just because I would imagine myself being in the shoes of the main character.

Currently, I was reading the one titled, "The Retired Hero's Adventures". It was a story about a hero who had saved the world, going around solving people's problems with his overpowered self. It was quite obvious that the author based it off the Legendary Hero himself. He got an innocent cleric, a cool mage, and a beautiful princess all vying for his attention. The princess, by the way, was based by how the Legendary Hero married a princess of some kingdom back then. Said kingdom, of course, would become the Holy Empire in the future. 

The story was terribly boring, with the main character just solving everything with his OPness in one hit. However, you wouldn't read this kind of stuff for the story anyways. You read it for the girls.

And I had to say...

Aargh, this lucky bastard! He gets all these beautiful girls clinging in his arms!

God, I wish he was me! I want to fondle a princess' big boobs all over as she moans cutely! I want to have a cute miniskirt-wearing witch that constantly flashes her panties every time she casts her spell!  I want to accidentally walk into a shy priestess while she’s changing her clothes!

I spent my five days like this. Just reading lewd books in the dark. Probably breathing heavily in the forest. At the very least, I didn’t do that as well, seeing how I wasn’t old enough to have the urges yet. So I was just slightly less of a loser than my old self.

And at the sixth, when I heard the horn announcing that land was coming, I opened the hole I had made before, and escaped that way.

I quickly ran off using my Wind Step, no longer caring whether I was seen or not. They wouldn’t be able to catch me anyways.

And with that, I arrived at the Holy Continent at last—at the port town of Frastelleren, at the far south end of the continent. All without a ticket or a pass, which I imagine would be necessary if I had chosen to travel normally. I didn’t have money for the ticket. As for the border pass, I believe you can actually use your Adventurer Card as a replacement, but it would be too risky to register myself on the Guild there, seeing how I’m still in Magocracy territory and all. I don’t want to give them a lead on where my last location is (even though it may be really obvious, seeing how Tulpio is the only port town you can take from the Magocracy to cross over to the Holy Continent). I might be able to buy a pass in some shady black market or something, but it would 1) be risky, and 2) be really expensive. So this is the wiser choice, even if it technically makes me an illegal immigrant.

Bah, who cares anyway, when I'm already a wanted man?

I immediately headed to the city’s Adventurer Guild, as I didn’t even have enough money to pay for an inn right now. I would register and finally start my career as an adventurer at last.

On the way there however, I couldn't help but to start reminiscing.

Heh, I didn’t imagine that it would end this way.

All these years, I thought I would start my adventuring with Sherry and Marina on my sides.

But now, there’s only me and me alone.

With a bitter smile, I pushed onward.