LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 93
Alisa’s first awareness in life was the cozy darkness.
Fragments of experience too few to form a personality. Thus, she merely floated in the sea of unconsciousness until one day, darkness came to her.
Swallowed by ignorance and chaos, she first became aware of the world in the sea of dreams.
An imperfect and dependent form of self compared to others.
A rag stitched together awkwardly from the fairy tales read by her dad and others’ unconsciousness.
My name is Alisa.
An existence that just sleeps from the moment of birth.
A small, insignificant winter mouse.
– Alisa, I will tell you a fairy tale.
– Alisa, Mom and Dad are just waiting for you to wake up.
– Let’s go see a wonderful sight in Murmansk.
– I love you, Alisa.
[I… love you too.]
– Alisa’s parents have gone missing?
– They say it’s a con artist who lured desperate parents to bring in money, then dealt with them.
– Oh no… Then that child is now…
– All alone.
[…]
Even so, Alisa felt grateful to the darkness that enveloped her imperfect consciousness.
[If it weren’t for you, I would have been nothing.]
The darkness simply wrapped around Alisa’s imperfect dream and remained silent.
[Thank you. Who are you?]
– A dark blue crow, I will swallow you someday.
[Swallow me?]
– Due to a curse, my essence has become chaos, watching over and destroying humans.
[Then I’ll give you my name as a gift for waking me up.]
– Name?
[Yes. If I am born into this world, write my name.]
– Alisa.
[That’s the only gift I can give you.]
Alisa pondered the disappearance of her parents and the many sins she had committed in her imperfect world. No matter how she thought about it, she was just waste that needed to disappear from this world.
[I want to die like this. But I can’t do anything.]
– You do not know death.
[No, I’ve already died.]
Alisa asked the darkness that had momentarily pulled her from the sea of unconsciousness, a grateful darkness and another Alisa.
[Please. Let me create a dream where I can be punished.]
– I have an obligation to watch the world through you until the tea party begins.
[I can’t see anything and don’t know anything, though?]
– Then to me, this world would mean nothing.
[When that time comes, kill me. So I can release my parents’ resentment towards me.]
Alisa realized it was a form of self-satisfaction.
Even if she lost herself pathetically in her dreams, it would mean nothing to her dead mom and dad.
Even so, she couldn’t forgive herself.
When this winter ends, her unconsciousness’s version of mom and dad would come to punish her.
When that time comes, even if she appeared as a worthless mouse, she would raise her arms high and run towards them.
Nailing the resentment they had towards her into this ugly heart.
[I love you… and I’m sorry.]
＊
“…”
“…”
Yeonseo and I were speechless as we listened to the story told by Alisa’s identical dark blue crow…the Magical Girl of Death.
We sat in the open space, listening for a long time to the story of the small black-haired girl.
Yeonseo had been shedding tears endlessly from the sadness since the middle of the story, and in her arms, still lay the small mouse.
‘So, except for Revelations, that’s how Born 3-Star Magical Girls descend.’
The reason ordinary Emily Hawkins could play the role of a messenger of War.
And why the Magical Girl of Death was indifferent to this world.
They originally devoured the personalities of the girls imbued with great power, and when the second Red Broadcast opened, they used their observations of the world as the basis for their judgment.
They could not appear in the world until the girl inhabiting them died.
The causal relationships of everything fit together, and we learned why the colorless Glass Star refrained from attacking Emily Hawkins.
‘I almost faced War unprepared.’
I felt my heart sink, recalling the attacks I had hesitated to make against Emily Hawkins multiple times.
“So we are just waiting for the day the tea party is held here.”
“The tea party is…?”
“A brown cat, a mad scale merchant, a silver pigeon, and me.”
The dark blue crow.
“With these four, each will establish a new order based on the worlds they have witnessed.”
“When that time comes, what will happen to Alisa?”
“She will die.”
As soon as Yeonseo heard this, she hid the mouse in her arms and shot a fierce glare at Death.
“You have no right to end someone’s life.”
“Even if I don’t want to, that’s how it’ll be. And she herself desires it.”
“Such an unfair thing can’t be…!”
Yeonseo glared at Death with anger in her purple eyes. The more she defended Alisa, the greater the guilt spreading from the small mouse in her arms became.
“Asha, stop it. Alisa is suffering even more.”
“Ugh…!”
Yeonseo could no longer say anything and just embraced the small mouse…Alisa.
I looked at the slumped little mouse with a bitter expression. And I cast Illusion Magic to reflect my thoughts onto the mouse.
Alisa’s figure was incredibly blurry compared to Death in front of us.
She had weak cognition, barely realizing herself.
[…….]
“Alisa.”
[I want to die.]
“Don’t say that.”
[It was a life where I could do nothing, with no difference between death and life.]
“……”
[Rather, if another Alisa could live by feeding off my worthless soul.]
She would be satisfied with that.
But Yeonseo denied it.
“No. That’s not it! There must be a better way! I will help you achieve that!”
[A better way?]
“Yes, definitely a better way than now.”
Yeonseo quietly looked up at the chicken floating in the dream world sky.
The chicken was still laying shining eggs.
Above it was a castle made of cold eyes.
A king and queen.
A strong unconsciousness collective created by Alisa’s guilt resided there.
“Let’s find out where Alisa’s guilt began and overcome it.”
[…….]
“Let’s go find what was precious that was forgotten in nightmares.”
Yeonseo began to walk, carefully holding the small mouse in her arms, while the Magical Girl of Death quietly watched from behind.
If.
If there was a way to coexist with Alisa without getting swept away by the powerful force of Death.
If there was a way to somehow persuade those whom I once thought were enemies.
I wanted to choose that.
‘But there’s no way to compromise with War…’
Revelation with no purpose beyond given orders.
Death, who wanted to fulfill the wishes of the girl who gave her a name.
Unlike them, War was fiercely craving chaos for herself.
Why would that be?
Her methods were too closely intertwined with the human world to be just aimlessly hating humanity.
‘Emily Hawkins loved humans in her own twisted way; she didn’t hate them.’
I sank into complicated feelings and quietly followed them.
We walked for a long while in silence, arriving just beneath the enormous chicken.
A castle made of chilling eyes.
The execution ground Alisa wished for.
The soldiers made of medical charts were still searching the forest, and the castle was eerily silent without a trace of life.
Whoosh
The sound of our footsteps echoed in the corridor, with a chilling winter wind blowing through.
“No one… is here?”
“This is the deepest part of Alisa’s unconsciousness.”
The Magical Girl of Death and I were following behind Yeonseo, prepared for any situation.
Carrying the little mouse, Yeonseo stepped forward.
“It’s scary. I was the same way before.”
[…….]
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”
As the small Alisa in her arms began to tremble in fear, Yeonseo wrapped her in a purple aura and continued deeper into the castle.
-I died because of you, Alisa!
-You worthless girl.
-You need to disappear from this world.
Whispers echoed through the corridor.
They manifested like ghosts, hurling curses at Alisa who had entered here.
-You shouldn’t have been born!
-A useless thing that’s just wasting hospital beds.
-Die!! Die!! A bug that can’t even die alone!!
“No.”
Yeonseo spoke boldly, the purple aura swirling, making sure Alisa’s guilt could hear her clearly.
“No one is born into this world without meaning.”
The dreams of countless people that the Magical Girl of Dream had witnessed.
They rose like purple mist, driving away the evil spirits that hurled curses.
“No one is born to die in this world.”
Overcoming the despair of the past.
Wishing for happiness today.
Believing in hope for tomorrow.
Enjoying delicious food, being with someone they love, smiling at the bright sunlight, sitting comfortably in a warm room, smelling fragrant flowers, drinking a cool glass of water, running against the free wind, surrendering to the sound of the waves.
Those small but happy dreams.
A world Alisa hadn’t seen.
And a world Yeonseo once hadn’t seen.
The evil spirits born from guilt scattered away by the warmth the dreams revealed.
Yeonseo and Alisa moved forward in the cold corridor, using those warm dreams as their lantern.
“Something is approaching from behind.”
“I’ll handle that.”
When the Magical Girl of Death casually mentioned it, I drew her signature weapon, the scythe.
“……”
The Magical Girl of Death was watching me with a strange look, as if I was using her weapon earlier than I should have.
I swung the scythe and cut down the remnants of unconsciousness charging from behind.
Swish
The huge scythe.
The silver trajectory.
Rustle
They melted away like mist, cursing in the crescent silver path.
-Aaaah!! Die, Alisa!!
-Because of you!! Because of you!!
-You useless worm who can’t even do anything by yourself!!
The fragments of guilt a girl had shouldered for her entire life melted away by the warm dreams and were cut down by the scythe filled with determination.
Thus, we moved forward, shedding the weight of the life the girl living in the sea of unconsciousness had carried.