Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

Consultation 9.

“Hello God, it’s great to see you again. I’ve got a really pressing concern that I’ve wanted to find a solution for. You see, it would be to my utmost pleasure to die by exploding from an overwhelming amount of semen in my womb, how do I accomplish a grand feat like this?”

A constipated expression crept onto my face. It was the crazy nymphomaniac who was greatly dissatisfied by her inability to have more dicks rammed into her.

“I see you really went and found a necromancer...”

“Yes, your suggestion was amazing. I’ve never been able to take so many dicks before. Would you like to try one out?” She pointed to a cavity on her face that wasn’t previously an option.

Her eyeballs were presently popped out of their sockets and dangling on top of her chest. I absolutely didn’t want to interact with her at all and averted my eyes to the side. It felt like my eyes were being raped as I imagined what sort of things she’d jammed in only god knows where. Ah. I was God, I forgot. Ugh, I must unsee.

“Can you please put your eyes back in?”

“Oh, sorry, I came in prepared, I somewhat expected you might want to sample a whole new world for yourself.”

I want no part of that sort of twisted world. Please go away and never come back, you crazy broad.

She put her eyeballs back into her sockets as I requested and I let out a sigh of relief.

“Well, at least your question this time is a pretty easy one I guess.”

“Oh? It’s easy?”

“Yes, it’s very simple in fact.”

“Then please enlighten this little lamb on how to experience the pleasure of death by cum explosion.”

“Get a vacuum and a pump. Run a separate tube through the vacuum tube so you can pump a substance into your body through this inner tube. Use a suction cup-shaped tool for the end of the vacuum. Once you slide the tube that will be used to pump stuff into your womb through the vacuum tube, insert it all the way into your womb through your vaginal cavity. Attach the suction cup portion to your crotch and ensure an airtight seal is formed between the suction cup and your skin when the vacuum is turned on to prevent the semen from getting sucked out of your vaginal cavity and pulled into the vacuum.”

“Once you’ve achieved this, get together as many guys as you can and have them ejaculate into a large container. When it is full enough, you can then feed all that semen into the pump. Turn the pump on and wait as your womb is filled to the brim. Eventually, you’ll explode from the inside out in a giant cum explosion.”

“Was that the answer you were looking for?”

“Thank you for your words of wisdom, God. I couldn’t possibly ask for a better death. Though I will be resurrected by the necromancer’s spell afterward, being able to experience this sort of death is like a dream come true. I’m so glad I came to you for advice before. I’ll definitely visit again if I have any more problems I can’t solve.”

“Sure, whatever you say you crazy nymphomaniac bitch.” Please don’t come back again. I don’t enjoy my eyes being raped whenever I look at your sinful body.