Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

Consultation 4.

“God, how do I have sex with a fetus?” Those dreadful words that could only come from a monster actually came from a pair of earnest eyes filled with innocence and boundless curiosity.

“Hah? Sorry, I think I misunderstood your problem. Can you please repeat that?”

“How do I have sex with a fetus?” Once again, I was confused as I couldn’t detect an ounce of malice in her question.

“What the hell do you mean how do you have sex with a fetus? Why do you even want to know that?”

“Well, you see I recently got pregnant because I wanted to find out this very question. What does it feel like to have sex with a fetus? Ever since the question entered my head I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

What the fuck is wrong with you? This bitch is for real? You’ve got to be shitting me.

“Well, God? You’re the only one I believe can answer this question. Every other person I’ve asked immediately throws up, but I can tell you’re different.”

“I’m different? How?”

“You didn’t throw up immediately like the rest of those little pussys who shied away from my question in disgust.”

Who the fuck is recommending these bitches with these sorts of fucked up problems to me?

“God, please answer me. I need to know,” she implored with such earnesty that I couldn’t find it in myself to not answer.

“Take a rod…”

“Yes. And what?”

“Shove it up there… then stir around until all that’s left inside your body is mush.”

“That’s not a good enough answer, that’s just using a rod, not the fetus.”

“I’m… not done.”

“Sorry, please continue.”

“Hold a condom stretched out beneath and drain the contents out into it then tie the end in a knot when you're satisfied with the size. Once you’re done... you can use the filled up condom to… you know.”

“That’s…”

“Too much, right? You can’t really go and do something like that, right? That’s just too fucked up even for you, right!”

“Fucked up? In what way? You’ve shown me the light. I never considered such a unique method before. I was only thinking of using the fetus whole. To think there was such a degenerate way to use it that surpassed my degeneracy. They were right… you really are an amazing god.”

I wanted to cry. I bit my lip and blood trickled down the side.

“Then… I’ll be taking my leave now. Thank you very much for this very enlightening life consultation.”

“Huh? Uh… yeah, sure. Get lost now and never come back, you hear?” I somehow scarred myself. I can never unthink what I thought of and conveyed to her just a now.

“Don’t worry I’ll be sure to come back if I have another problem, it’s a promise.”

“Wait-“

Slam.

She was gone.