Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

Consultation 14.

“God, how do I satisfy myself?”

“What the hell are you even asking?”

“How to satisfy myself of course.”

“I get that, but can you be more specific?”

“Specific, how?”

“You’ve given no context as to how you would like to be satisfied. Do you want to feel the satisfaction of eating a good meal? Do you want to feel fulfilled in life? Do you want to feel content with your love life? Or is this just about you getting yourself off?”

“Aren’t you a god that should know all? Shouldn’t you already know the answer?”

“Then, if you really want to feel satisfied to the extreme, I’d recommend bungee jumping.”

“Bungee jumping? Why that of all things?”

“When I say bungee jumping, I mean bungee jumping in pairs.”

“In pairs…” It seems my suggestion caught her attention. Her eyes lit up a bit, somewhat excited when she thought about various scenarios she could find herself in.

“You mean-”

“Precisely. Imagine the power behind an unimaginably powerful thrust as the cord stretches to a stop and forces your partner into your deepest regions. It would be a thrust fueled by the power of nature. What could possibly feel more satisfying than reaching a climactic finish when you reach the bottom of your descent toward hell? With a force no man could ever produce on his own, your partner can become the pussy bender, harnessing gravity to do his bidding and please you to the fullest.”

Her entire body trembled, her face flushed just from the thought of that one mighty thrust that could send her flying high to cloud nine. Her breathing turned ragged as she panted uncontrollably revealing herself for the pervert she was.

“God, I need to go. Thank you for your time. This life counselling service of yours truly is everything I’ve heard and more. The fact that such a wonderfully exciting act like this was hidden in such an unassuming recreational activity, it truly is the miracle of the gods. Thank you for opening my eyes to a whole new world. I think I will be able to fully satisfy myself with this sort of thing.”

It’s just one pervert after the next. Personally I don’t have anything against this one though. I was actually slightly curious as well. How would this feel? Has anyone ever actually dared to try it? I mean, what if it slips out right before she descends on top and she ends up bending it at a 180 degree angle when it’s fully erect?

I shivered when I thought about it as my skin crawled. That sort of injury was one I wouldn’t want to experience.