Reincarnated as a Spider (Draft/Writing practice)

Closer she got to the lake more and more the winds seemed to pick up, their chilly caress brushing by her. Normally she could make out the detached noises of rowdy and wild creatures in the forest. Lack of those  ever-present sounds that she had grown accustomed to combined with the already dark woods becoming even more grim as gray clouds blocked out the what little sunlight that passed through the thick layers of vegetation. Cutting through the dour atmosphere that hung over blackened glades; ostensibly out of place maiden of white and platinum at odds with the dark backdrop marched to her destination with assured steps, untouched by the surrounding gloom.

‘The clouds and this storm are of no natural phenomena… lesser spirits are going haywire.

Far before entering and delving in as deep as she is into the region of tempestuous magical flows, she noticed that something was wrong with the place. Mute to the mundane without the arcane aptitude, whistling and whooshing unintelligible songs or - perhaps wails - of the spirits added to the creepy situation.

If it was any other case I would have turned around and gone the other way nine out of ten times…

Suspicions turned to confirmation as plotting a course in her mental map illustrated the spirit lake at the epicenter of this raging storm…

guess this is that elusive ‘one out of ten’ case. Besides… I don’t like breaking promises… never again…’

---

At the edge of the lake even through the dense foliage Alicia could make out the water spirit’s figure from a distance. Sitting down on the water’s surface as if it were solid ground hugging her knees staring a hole into something. The lake and its surroundings had an disconcerting sense of peace as if it was an illusion hiding something. Just as she was about to call out to her, she saw for the first time the cold and empty abyss of the lake full of activity. They were calmly swimming circles around the water spirit in schools under the surface.

‘Fish…? No… spirits. Tons of them. The sky… this weather phenomena… How long has it been going on for? hours or years?’

• “You came back…?”

A question was asked in a subdued tone. When she looked up the girl had come closer to her without her realizing. Closer but still at a distance.

• “Why do you sound so surprised?”
• “I… thought you would run away… after learning how to see spirits, after seeing what I truly was…”

‘I don’t think now’s the time to be honest here and tell her: ‘actually, yes, that was my first notion.’’

• “I wouldn’t, not from you. But I can tell you that this… atmosphere you created would make anyone who doesn’t know you at all to run away.”
• “It’s better that way… for them.”

• “Want to tell me about it?”
• “It’s a long story…”
• “Then I’ll listen to a long story.”

Her eyes that lost its light seemed to glimmer if just for a moment.

• “I’m a Naiad, but that doesn’t mean anything to the well informed… I never told you this have I…? I’m not a limnad - not a lake spirit but a spirit from a spring at the heart of the mountains to the north. Pegaeae. That’s what we're called.

Unlike others of my kind when I was born it wasn’t the light and warmth that welcomed me but cold caverns and dark abyss.”

In a soft whisper she continued…

• “When all you have ever known is darkness and cold… was it too much of me to seek out something else?

Then… one day he came… a human. Wounded and bleeding from an encounter with a magic beast, wearing shabby clothes steeped in blood, he crawled on the mud to reach one of the many rivers fed by my spring. Parched from all the blood he lost, he tried to scoop up a handful of water to drink but fell into the river to be carried away in the currents. I remember that day so vividly because it was the first time I felt the warmth of life.

Nostalgia brought about by the pleasant memories of the past, finally broke through her apathetic face appearing as a barely visible smile. It did not escape past Alicia as her time around Alice who rarely showed emotion taught her to read the faintest changes to the face…

• “I believe that was the catalyst for me to develop true consciousness and take on my current form. Enchanted by that tiny speck of warmth I desperately clung onto its source, to him. Even if he didn’t drown, he would have surely died from his blood loss; perhaps he didn’t want to die thirsty.

Maybe my selfish wishes affected the waters as he was submerged in the river rapids, his wounds closed. I was clueless then and I didn’t know how to control the river however after many attempts, in a river bend I managed to pull him out of the stream and did my best to drain him of any water.”

• “It took him hours before he recovered his consciousness. And for hours I stared at him unmoving as his chest moved up and down with his breather. Lacking the courage to interact with him, but not wanting to leave him either.

When he came to, confused as to why he was even alive, I hid behind a tree. Then he saw me, peeking from behind it, and thanked me for saving him, but he was still too weak to stand up. From then on, until he gained enough strength to return home we spent everyday together.

He taught me about many things, about humans, about races other than humans and how to speak. You reminded me of him when you gave me this dress you know? He would always pester me to cover myself in some cloak that he carried with him as a blanket. I didn’t like it, as it cushioned me from feeling his body warmth. Later I knew why he did so… nudity from a female is apparently not normal for them and told me that if I ever wanted to feel warmth, I should wear his cloak and bask under the sunlight.”

• “Eventually the day came where he regained enough strength to leave. I couldn’t follow him, so he promised that even if he could not return he would let others find me in a certain place. This lake was the safest out of all of my other vestiges.
• True to his words other humans came seeking me… for these waters possessing healing properties born from my wish for the first warmth of life to live. I didn’t care for what they came for, all I cared was that I was no longer alone. Years went on and he returned, looking far better than our first meeting. He asked if it was fine to establish a permanent settlement in these secluded woods. Though back then the trees weren’t as numerous as it is today. I was just ecstatic to know that I wouldn’t be alone ever again.”
• “First a hamlet, then a village, soon a full pledged settlement size of a small town appeared in this place with him as the pioneer - a leader. Years went by oh so fast, I provided them with my waters which healed their wounds and helped them prosper. Although rewarded with longevity surpassing the average human's, this liquid could not shield him from the ravages of time. As the ages turned his vigor faded bit by bit. Until he was taken away from me.

Spirits are not timeless but our lifespan stretches on to infinity compared to that of a human’s. And with his death, so too did my waters lose their healing properties gradually. As time went on memories faded, what was once a gracious gift that saved lives and earned respect turned into a quotidian commodity to be used, exploited and discarded as one saw fit. They lost appreciation for the waters and of me.”

In reaction to her emotional state the water spirits down below sped up their pace, a breeze of wind turned to gale.

• “New faces came into control, outsiders, they figured I was purposefully withholding my powers. So to get the most out of it they brought out a dreadful artifact. The bands of subjugation. At first they were designed to tame the savage instincts of magic beasts. However handed to the wrong individual it can turn to an authoritative tool to enslave others to their bidding.

Waters of the lake swirled in a boiling rage, gales turned to squall threatening to sweep away everything in their tumultuous force.

• “They stole the only memento left of him, his thin cloak from all those years ago, threw it down to the ground and burnt it in front of me. They thought to demoralize me, I was overcome with uncontrollable fury. I robbed the air from every single one of those pigs, they didn’t deserve it! Next thing I know I had flooded the entire town, drowning all the residents with it.”

Winds and the water suddenly stopped, bringing about brief respite. Droplets of drizzle falling from the gray skies.

• “What he had created throughout his whole life… I destroyed it all in a single night. Not all of them needed to die like that… Elders, women, children I spared none. That is why I turn away the highborn, who knows when I'll lose it again? Who knows when I’ll kill by the thousands”

Drizzle turned to a rain… but they simply went through her body as if she wasn’t even there.

‘This is not a real rain… They’re spirits…’

However, to the water spirit the ‘droplets’ ran down her face, akin to tears.

• “I sometimes see his face… how disappointed would he be? Sometimes I think I should have disappeared with him…… then I wouldn’t have squandered his legacy.”

‘She carries quite the guilty conscience… She is not in the wrong to protect herself but what she had done after it she didn’t mean to do weighs heavily on her. Psychology isn’t my field… but I need her to find some closure…’

• “I don’t believe in ghosts. But I do believe in being haunted, you need to let the past go.”¹Granny’s quote from ‘The Darkness 2™’ R.I.P
• “How?! I can still remember their names, their faces, their gurgling screams of help as I sentenced them down to this watery grave. There’s blood on my hands and no matter how much I try I can’t wash it away… I am a murderer… death may be my only redemption…”

Looking down at her hands in contemplation her voice died out.

‘Oh for goodness’ sake I need to get there. Elves aren't amphibious… but… if spread my weight over a wider area…’

⟨ Mimicry ⟩

It has been some time since the last time she returned to her original form but by spreading her legs wide…

⟨ Water Aspect ⟩

…and making footholds of condensed water as she stepped onto the lake to reach her without breaking the water’s surface tension.²Some wolf spiders (Lycosidae) and Dock spiders (Dolomedes) habitually stride on water thanks to their efficient weight distribution and speed.

• “I’m not asking you to forget about it…-

She held up her hands into her own palms.

• “Eh!”

The water spirit was surprised to see Alicia ‘standing’ on the lake’s surface.

• I’m telling you that it’s time to move on. Death won’t redeem you, it will only cement your past mistakes in perpetuity. The absolution you seek can only be earned through your own actions.”

⟨ Weaver ⟩

Still holding her onto her hands she started wrapping it up in a fine mesh of silk…

• “It is true you can’t wash away the blood… but you can always paint over it… You have a ‘lifespan stretching on to infinity’ to work with. I'd say that’s plenty of time to change that image of yours don’t you think?”

Before she could notice it Alicia had made a crudely made cloak of silk more akin to a shawl and wrapped it around the remorseful spirit.

• “I don’t know how I-”
• “The elves still revere you… in a way.”

Stammering;

• “I… but… wi-… Will they really forgive me after all I’ve done?”
• “That’s not for me to decide. But it’s up to you to make it happen.”
• “I am… not ready to… give me a moment to think…”
• “Of course.”

‘She cried with her heart long enough for all traces of a human settlement to erode away…’

Finally the clouds parted letting in the sunlight to shine directly onto the water spirit. How long has it been since she could bask in it? The warmth she had missed for all these centuries, lingering in the thin and insubstantial cloak.

• “There’s something I want to ask of you…”
• “Go ahead.”
• “Give me a name.”