Chapter 69 – Toxic
---2 things that need a quick update---
First is that I've updated and added some more faces to the AI art glossary (Even included some absurd looking human forms for 2 specific dragons so you'll definitely want a look :). I've also changed the art style for pretty much every human/human form and made it more anime looking, it allows me to add more noticeable features and hopefully you prefer it as well.
Second being there should be another poll at the bottom of this page, this one is kinda important to the future of this story and I need as many opinions on this as possible (Basically it comes down to if you want '18+ ONLY' side chapters, I'm still undecided on such a thing, your opinions would really help me decide).
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'Status'
[Name: Ikarus | Species: Phoenix | Level: 97]
[Health 29,464*/30,000*]
[Stamina 9,718*/10,000*]
[Magicka 20,000*/20,000*]
[You currently have 8500 unassigned points]
On the journey over to the phoenix cave, I couldn't help but have a little think on what to do with my stats. In all honesty, I'm surprised I didn't invest the rest in gambling or in that fight with that mad God, it still wouldn't have been winnable even with more stats though.
Oh, that reminds me of something. Turns out, you can't cancel an ability so the next enemy I came across, aspect of gigantomachy was still applied. That was a bloody surprise none of us or that wolf expected, do love this ability but damn, it really can be surprising having a wolf explode in your face so unexpectedly. I'm sure I even heard a slight laugh from Aesa, she clearly knew about it and 'forgot' to warn me, I swear my AI is gaining even more sentience now.
The thing is, it would make more sense to put my points into something then just rely on gambling, I will definitely be buying more abilities when the prince and mage both die so I'll have a load of EXP to spend then.
'What do I spend it on though?'
"What you thinking so heavily on Ikarus?"
Of course, Petra can even tell when I'm stuck on something even while riding me. I really shouldn't say it like that but it is technically true, I do tend to check my status a lot while flying though. Wait, would it even count as riding if... forget it, dirty thoughts begone!
Should I tell her or not? I'm starting to realize I rely on her opinion way too much now; it doesn't help that she always gives such good advice. Ah screw it, it's fine to rely on Petra, hopefully one day the roles can be reversed as well.
"Stat points, I want to spend a good amount of them but unsure what to focus on"
Petra takes a second to think, I've explained all the ins and outs of everything in my system more than once and she already knows how it all works.
"If I'm being honest, I'd probably ignore stamina since it seems a little pointless having extreme amounts of it when we sleep most nights anyway"
I haven't tried it yet but could probably go a week without sleeping now with no issue, of course flying longer distances is great for stamina but it's still doesn't use a huge amount, ten thousand is more than enough. The thing that seems to drain stamina the most is excessive alcohol consumption believe it or not. Oh, extreme stress does as well.
"So health or magicka then?"
She takes another second to think, then gives me an answer I didn't want.
"Invest more in health, it'll allow me to keep protecting you without having to worry if someone gets a hit on your adorable face"
...
"I'm going for magicka then"
"Heh, fair enough"
Just cause she decided to turn that into a tease, I'm going against her advice. Sure, I do love being protected by her but damn it, that was uncalled for there!
'Aesa, five thousand into magicka'
[<Confirmed, magicka is now at 30000>]
Can never forget it gets doubled, at least until it hits max stats. I'll save the last three and a half thousand for when it's needed or just before we commence our attack on the empire, have a feeling EXP is going to be lacking for a while now. No idea why though.
Let's double time it to the cave...
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"Zeki, they're back!"
"The lovebirds are back!?"
'We've just stepped in the freaking house and he's already started, sighhh'
Me and Petra have just arrived back at the phoenix apartment hideout, I can still never get over how modern and great this place looks. There is an odd smell lingering right now though, smells like home cooking or something similar, not bad but definitely not good either.
Both the other two phoenixes are currently sitting on the couch eating dinner with a plate on their laps, I guess that's the reason why they didn't greet us at the door this time. Oh, and the smell, think they're eating cooked goat but not completely sure, it does look a little burnt though.
Of course, the red haired Zeki's personality is still going to be shit while the somewhat shy blue haired Ariza is easy enough to deal with. With Zeki, it doesn't even seem to be teasing, just more him being an obnoxious dick.
"You two been up to anything or is Zeki just going to keep slinging shit like the usual?"
Might as well make small talk while insulting Mr obnoxious as well, they are eating dinner right now, we can't head to the next dungeon obviously till they're finished. It is making me a little hungry though, could share a cake with Petra but I'd have to share it with Zeki as well, I'd rather starve thinking about it.
"Don't be like that orangey. If it wasn't for me, you two and your relationship would've developed at a snail's pace..."
Huh? How does he even know that it's developed? He must be assuming, Petra hasn't sent any messages or visited since we were here last here, he's just talking shit like usual even if he does have a slight point.
"... And yeah actually, there is some news... brother has a boyfriend!"
Immediately after Zeki says that, Ariza's fist finds his nose, hard. That looks like it hurt it a fair bit.
"He's not my fucking boyfriend! How many times do I have to tell you this?"
"You didn't have to hit me! Stupid, blue haired, bastard bird!"
Damn it, looks like we're going to have to babysit these two once again. I swear they must've been reincarnated as whiny teenagers going through puberty or something, both of them have even dropped their food all over the floor down to their little spat. What a waste of some good meat, even if it was a bit charcoaled.
Petra also can't help facepalming from those two and their bickering, she definitely has experienced this more than once, she's even started to pick up their food off the floor while speaking.
(Petra) "*Sigh*, we've literally only just gotten back and you two are already doing something stupid... Ariza, what is Zeki talking about?"
Zeki is now pouting and rubbing his nose from the punch he received, his nose looks a little red as well. Don't be winding up your sibling and you won't get punched, it's that simple!
"It all started when..."
Then Ariza goes into a story about how she was hunting for food one day and came across a stray wyvern out in the bandit woods, they spoke for a while and it sounds like she's made a friend with a flying rat like my father says. Sure, dragons and phoenixes are better but wyverns aren't that bad, bit stupid but they still are somewhat useful, obviously not to me. Okay, to humans, wyverns are useful.
By now, the food has been cleared up off the carpet and we're all sitting down on the chairs, both Ariza and Zeki are on the single seats separated from each other though. They still are pissed at each other.
"Ariza... Zeki didn't give you anything funny tasting or something to smoke beforehand?"
Huh? Does Petra think there's something odd with that story?
(Zeki) "What do you take me for older sis!? You know I hate sharing my opal leaves"
(Ariza) "No Petra, I wasn't intoxicated or anything like that. Why do you ask?"
"The only wyvern that is able to speak is the wyvern king himself, never heard of any other that can also talk"
Oh, that's Petra's issue with her story, I'm also yet to come across a talking wyvern so I guess that's pretty unbelievable. An idea has come into my mind that might be an explanation for such a thing though.
"Could that stray wyvern be related to the king?"
It seems my little question has gotten those three thinking, maybe it's a bloodline thing where the strongest wyverns are able to communicate?
"Good thought Ikarus but there's no point in giving it too much thought. As long as he doesn't know where this cave is, everything should be fine"
A face of regret immediately appears on Ariza's face after Petra speaks, Zeki is about to rat on her...
"Brother has already allowed him into the cave, had to make my own bleach to rid the stench that rat produced"
(Ariza) "Damn it Zeki! Shut, the fuck up!"
Turns out Zeki hates those flying rats too, I swear he might be an illegitimate child to my father hearing that. Wait, father does like to sleep around with other dragons...
Ah forget it, no point speculating on something like that, father shouldn't have a secret other phoenix son, right? We have no idea on who is Zeki's mother as well as his father so it's a complete mystery, doubt there's anything like DNA tests in this world so will just have to forget that.
"Even then, this place is still yours. If you want to invite people around, nothing was ever stopping you"
Petra actually sounds a little happy about that, are these two seriously that antisocial-able? Yeah actually, they probably are. It did sound like she changed her tune very quickly though, I guess she's not that protective of them but it's not like they need protecting.
(Zeki) "Wait, what do you by that older sis?"
(Ariza) "This is your home as well though"
Something Petra just said seems to have gotten those two concerned now, I'm unsure why.
"This cave was already yours, you two have basically owned this place for centuries already. It should've been obvious seeing how little I'm here"
Both those two still seem to be thinking on what she just said, Zeki has very much gotten the wrong idea though.
"Hold the hell on... I know what this is! You're moving out and living with orangey, that's what this whole thing is about!"
Oh my God, this kid is unbearable, both me and Petra can't help but facepalm in sync at what he just said.
'I already regret this...'
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In the end, we did manage to convince them easily enough to come join us in the next dungeon, Petra's doesn't actually need to bribe them, spending time with their older sister is an offer tempting enough apparently. That, or Zeki just wants to kill something and Ariza just fancies the fresh air, no idea on her.
Also, it might be more tempting now since we're not going to the desert this time around, flying over a meadow is a lot better than flying over a never ending desert.
We've been flying for a good half a day now; the next dungeon is pretty close to the phoenix cave so this shouldn't take that long though fortunately. However, while we were relaxing eating dessert sitting down in the meadow together, Ariza's has just seen something scary. It is late at night after all.
"ARGHHH!!"
(Ikarus) "Urgh, what's up Ariza?"
(Petra) "What's wrong?"
"Yeah brother, what the hell are you screaming at"
All four of us are in human form right now, cake is always easier to eat using hands than wings after all. In the end, I did share some with Zeki, at least he shuts up when he's got a mouthful of food. What the hell did Ariza scream at though?
I also thought to give my actual human descent form ability a try, from the front I look like normal Ikarus, from the back it's a feathery mess but obviously I can't see it. My entire back and folded up wings are covered head to toe in feathers, even the back of my neck and tops of my legs are the same. The other two phoenixes haven't even given this form a mention which is kinda odd, Petra does seem to keep giving me the odd look though, I think she likes this even more than the normal human form, she isn't saying anything about it which is also surprising...
It's kinda weird that my enchanted dress fits this perfectly as well, there's no way I could use this form in human lands though, the amount of looks this feathery freak would get would be mad. I guess I could join a freak show but I'm just thinking about something stupid, we were all relaxing messing about till Ariza screamed right there.
"There... I saw a head there!"
Ariza points to one of the few trees that rarely litter this meadow, what does she mean she saw a head?
We all get up to investigate while Ariza hides behind us three. Now that we've gotten closer to the tree, they only thing I can see is literally a tree trunk, there's nothing here. The others can't see anything as well.
"Brother, if you've been smoking my shit, you'll have to find or buy me some more"
At least Zeki's willing to say something even if it's stupid, is she seeing stuff?
"Shut it Zeki! I swear on my life, there was a face in that tree!"
"*Sighhh*..."
Petra immediately facepalms while sighing, she does like to facepalm a lot around these two but this time, it's for a completely unexpected reason.
"... Come out or I'll burn every single tree near this valley, you're irritating me now"
"He-he-he... okay then"
Then something disgusting appears from the tree itself, that damn green haired, half naked perverted dryad. Her name was Ria something if I remember her status, why the hell is she here?
She pulls herself out from the tree like that horror movie where the woman pulls herself out of the TV, always disliked horrors but always remembered that one scene. This busty woman still doesn't understand what decent clothing is it seems.
(Ikarus) "What the hell are you doing here pervert?"
"I do have a name, you know. I just came here to say hi, that's all"
No, she's here to perve or stalk us, that must be the case. If she's able to pull herself out of any tree, then we are fucked, she's probably been watching us for a while. We're not even in the elven lands right now as well, she must be able to do it even in areas not part of the lands she protects. Fucking tree spirits...
Of course, me and Petra are just annoyed from seeing this woman once again, Ariza still seems a little afraid and Zeki is just being his usual self.
"How the hell did that cow climb out of that?"
The first thing Zeki says to the dryad is that she's a cow. I mean, she might as well be one, his rudeness is perfectly fine against her though.
"Oi, you red haired little shit! Did you just call me a fucking cow?"
Oh damn it, another person who can't stand his bullshit, this is going to get feisty now, I want some popcorn.
"Your body is hideous and disgusting dryad!"
He already knows she's a dryad? She did just climb out of a tree I suppose, I guess he knows about tree spirit myths then, could also be he's come across one before but probably not.
"Hideous!? That's a bit rich coming from a girl with a chest as flat as an egg!"
"Girl!? You might be even stupider than someone's who had a lobotomy, dumb bitch!"
They both look like they're about to blow a fuse, maybe Zeki might be able to actually permanently kill the perverted dryad, only time can tell. I really want to see if he's able to though.
The thing is, I am missing something that's going on though.
"Bitch!? Ignorant wannabee little man"
"You insufferable wench!"
While those two are arguing, Petra can't help but give me a nudge and wants to stop watching those two, she dislikes the dryad as much as me so I can't understand why though.
"Ikarus, let's just leave"
"Wait, why?"
I feel like we might need to calm Zeki down after he kills her otherwise he might go on a never-ending rampage.
"Those two may be fighting but if Zeki was seriously angry, he would've killed her at the start. He knows what he's doing and so does that dryad"
Wait, what does Petra mean they know what they're doing? Am I being dense?
"I'm seriously going to hurt you dryad!"
"He-he-he, you have no chance girly!"
Oh God, I know what's going on now, Zeki just had a sly smile for a split second there and the dryad is now also smiling as well. Eww...
We need to leave, right now!
Us three quickly head back to where we were eating and unfortunately, something even worse has come up then just realizing how Zeki likes to try and attract partners. I can't even feel disgusted right now, this is much worse!
"Damn... all those fucking ants to hell!"
We didn't even leave for that long; ants have taken control of the cake that we left. I hate ants and that dryad...
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---Just want to point out, this is chapter 69 and those two are definitely NOT doing anything sus. Definitely not...
'Author-kun starts to visibly sweat...'