Chapter 67 – Madness
"So then, the first question shall be... what has three legs, can blow a whistle and likes to party? Oh, it also likes sleep on its head!"
Huh? What type of question is that? I've never been good with riddles but that doesn't even sound like a thing. Yeah, this guy is mad.
...
None of us four can give an answer, that pretty much sums it up, even Petra with her vast amounts of knowledge and wisdom doesm't have a clue. The guy very quickly realizes that the way he's going about things isn't going to work.
"No guesses? Maybe I should think of something else then"
The madman puts his finger to his face, takes a minute to think, then gives a smile as he thinks of something else.
"Oh, I've got one! What has one eye, provides endless amount of entertainment and begins the cycle of life?"
Urgh, damn it, I think I know what he's talking about. Maybe I'm just dirty minded there's only one thing I can think of, it can't be that though, right? That type of eye I'm thinking about was definitely a slang word for something rude.
...
No one else gives an answer to the questioning madman so it looks like it's my time to shine, he didn't actually say the answer has to be correct so I kinda doubt this is right.
"Is it... the third leg males have?"
Immediately, two looks of disappointment come from the two you'd expect, a large laughing sound comes from the madman and Petra just looks to have a slight look of confusion.
"HH-HO-HO! I like your answer lass, it's wrong but it's funny"
(Petra) "Ikarus, why would you think it's that from what he just asked?"
"Well... back where I came from... there was slang term, that describes a certain part of the third leg. It's referred to as a type of eye"
I'm kinda digging myself a grave here, it is a thing though! I don't want to say it since it's rude, really have no idea what else it could be. This isn't even me being childish like usual, it's a thing!
Getting two looks of disappointment from those two does irritate me though, if they knew better, than give an answer! There's nothing stopping you!
"If you'd like my answer, I'd say some type of dungeon boss? Maybe a type of God?"
At least Petra is willing to give it a go, this guy didn't say anything about dying if we failed so we should be safe... probably. I obviously need to treat this guy as a huge threat since I have no idea if he's powerful or not, Petra does seem to be following the same type of thinking.
"Well that's also incorrect... the correct answer was the cyclops's mother but seeing that you tickled me, I'll move onto the second question..."
Urgh, these riddles are going to be shit if answers like this are coming out, we haven't even come across a cyclops... yet. Knowing our luck, we probably will come across one someday. Trying to communicate with this guy is frustrating.
"... Soooo... What flies but never falls nor has wings?"
Before I even have the chance to think on it, Petra seems to have an answer. With her endless amount of knowledge, it's to be expected.
"Time"
He takes a second to think on the answer Petra gave but it didn't seem like that was the thing he was looking for.
"I mean, you're not wrong lass, tis a very boring answer but what I was looking for was a flag of a painted chicken"
Sighhh... this guy's mind is completely out of whack, hopefully this last question makes a little more sense. All four of us are starting to look a little drained dealing with this guy. If he gives us a completed dungeon, then we can put up with it but things are never that easy.
"The last one is very simple; you'll definitely get this without needing to think ho-ho-ho... What bleeds, tastes divine and is currently making me hungry?..."
Unfortunately, he doesn't even give us time to answer and answers himself.
"... Bird flesh"
Once he says that in a sinister tone, Petra unsheathes her sword and swings for the man's head. I don't even need to question her and take my blade out also, it's clear this guy was just threating us.
Unfortunately, Petra's blade finds thin air as he has somehow made his way across the meadow in the blink of an eye. It's just about now that priestess and the knight have realized what's going on and get their weapons out also.
(Charlotte) "Summon"
"Ho-ho-ho, you two are more perceptive than you come across! You do seem a little sensitive to being called birds though. I really mean you no harm!"
I very much doubt both the priestess and the knight will learn that Petra is a phoenix just from that but he still needs to shut it.
(Petra) "If that's true, then why threaten us?"
(Ikarus) "Yeah, you know exactly what you were doing"
(Charlotte) "We'll back you two up!"
(Nathan) "We're right behind you"
The madmen flicks his fingers before responding, the dungeon turns back into the basement and torches light up around the outside of the room, at the very least we can now see a lot more in this damp basement but the meadow would've been better.
"Does one need a reason for having fun? Seeing that you've drawn your matchsticks against me, how about we enjoy a little tussle?"
None of us respond to the madman, Petra does have words for me though.
"Ikarus, use everything at your disposal here"
Before we even have the chance to respond, the madman is talking to us once again, we've entered a really terrible situation here.
"Ho-ho-ho... none of that will work inside here lass, we're in my own created dungeon. If I really wanted to, I could turn you all inside out. Could even turn you into a cheese-coloured frog if I so pleased"
Do dungeon masters have that much power or have we actually come across a God? Damn it, not the time to think on such a thing, it's time to try and survive, this guy was probably testing us from the beginning.
Petra charges forward at the guy first with blade in hand and once she closes up the distance, swings for his head once again but her blade stops on literally nothing.
I follow her up with my vampiric dagger in hand and try to spray my fire at him as well, the fire bounces off thin air and my swing with my dagger does the exact same thing.
The priestess shoots her laser beam from her sword and like with us, it hits an invisible barrier surrounding the madman.
The knight stops in his tracks from slashing at the madman as well, he just witnessed all three of us fail so there's no point in him following us up.
"Ho-ho-ho, dungeons barriers are a work of art, are thou not? Try using something with a little more spice and it might tickle me!"
Petra is looking deadly serious right now; we've come across a foe who cannot be defeated by normal means. She has now decided to take a different type of action.
"Ikarus, follow me up if this doesn't work"
This situation still doesn't make complete sense, is he just trying to test us or are we actually supposed to kill him? It matters little anyway; we're still going to try.
Petra charges at him once again with a very similar looking type of attack. However, this hit goes straight through the invisible barrier and makes contact with his neck... but doesn't cut through, almost as if his neck is made of steel.
"Hmmmm... It's quite a good thing I'm immortal inside here otherwise that would've gotten my head, those giants do know how to make a strong flavour, don't they?"
Wait, Petra just used aspect of gigantomachy and this guy just brushed it off like that? I guess it did destroy his barrier after all, mine might be able to finish him off.
Petra then jumps back once again and has words for me, I was going to follow her up with my attack next but looks like she wants to take a different approach now.
"Ikarus, cover me while I charge up you kno-"
"No you don't"
Before she even has the chance to finish what she was saying, the madman appears instantly to the side of her and places his hand on her head. Then Petra collapses on the floor.
(Ikarus) "Petra!"
"Petra-sama!"
(Nathan) "You bastard!"
Petra looks to be breathing thankfully enough but she's out cold, what the hell did he do to her and how did he just do that?
Then he follows it up by near on teleporting to the priestess and does the exact same type of thing placing his hand on her head, his speed is unmatched so she also has no chance to react.
"Lotte!"
"Damn it!"
I didn't think it would lead to this so fuck it, I'm bringing this guy down now by any and all means. It's time for the last resort.
'Aesa, activate it'
[<Confirmed, -aspect of gigantomachy- is now activated>]
This is really the only thing I can use down here that might get him, the blaze sun ability would end up killing both the other two since they aren't resistant to it and there isn't all that much room down here.
"To think, you both have the same love of giants. Like the best of friends!"
Wait, he sensed I activated it, who the fuck is this guy?
Before I even have the chance to try and hit an attack on him, he's now moved once again.
The knight tries to swing his blade towards the teleporting man but the madman just easily avoids him by going behind Nathan. Then he places his hand on the back of the knight's head and he also passes out.
It's now just us two alone, the madman doesn't seem to want to attack me though despite me rushing over to him and while I'm about to swing my dagger at him.
"What the hell have you done to them!?!"
Just as I'm about to land my attack, he snaps his fingers and everything in the room goes pure black, it's almost as if we're in the void now. I can't see anyone, even the mad guy as well.
This place is darker than the darkest of nights, I can't even see my own hand it's that black. It almost doesn't seem like it's real, it doesn't even feel like there's ground I'm standing on either.
"Huh? Where's everyone gone?"
<Do not worry young phoenix! All your little friends are currently inside this place alongside you in spirit, it's just much easier this way>
The madmen's voice responds inside my brain like with my parent's telepathy talk, only more intense and strong sounding.
"What the fuck do you want from us? Why have you done this?"
<Ho-ho-ho, you really do not need to confuse yourself so much! Things will one day become clear and when that day comes, you'll thank me for the advice you shall receive...>
I try to respond but find words cannot come out this time, it's almost as if my lips have been stitched together. Just how much control does this guy have in this dungeon?
<... Just know fourth phoenix, all prophecies can be interpreted in many hilarious ways, the Gods in particular believe it to be something different, they'd love for me to destroy and eat your flesh right about now as well...>
What is he on about? The Gods want me dead? It can't be all of them, right? Priestess's seems to be alright, he's even helping us. Unless it's all a lie and completing ten dungeons will actually kill me but Petra would've already done loads so that can't be right.
<... Fortunately, I'm a little more straight-laced then those barbarians, allow me to give you some advice... Kill them all, aim to destroy every single God and your journey will be full of happiness and joy!...>
'What the actual fuck is he going on about?'
<... Now that our natter has finished, I give you my blessing and wish to give you a farewell! Unfortunately, I've outstayed my welcome now, speaking to a phoenix has guaranteed my death after all!>
After he says that, it sounds like he snaps his fingers once again inside my brain and all of a sudden, all four of us are on the floor back in that basement, everyone is also now conscience. Just what the hell was that about?
"Anyone any idea what just happened there? Did you three hear that as well?"
(Petra) "Sorry Ikarus, no. Has he gone?"
(Charlotte) "We were still unconscious through that"
(Nathan) "Yeah"
So the guy gives me that strange advice, then flat out just leaves us and that's it? To recap quickly, I've got to aim to kill the Gods? I know taking advice from a madman is a terrible idea but still, this feels like something very bad is coming. Hopefully not for a long time, we've still got to sort the empire out first.
"What did he say to you anyway Ikarus?"
All three of the party members have gotten up off the floor now, Petra is holding her head while asking me that as well, obviously being knocked out by however he did that makes your head spin a little.
"*Sighhh*, no idea really, just a giant mess of things, he knew about us and the other two though, something about killing Gods as well but most of it was just odd"
"..."
He must have known seeing that he said fourth phoenix, things are now getting even weirder. Despite Petra's silence, she does seem to understand what I meant by that.
I'll tell her in more detail another time but I doubt even she will be able to make sense of what he just said, this is just going to be another one of those things that makes no sense to overly think about right now.
(Charlotte) "Shall we leave this place then?"
(Nathan) "It does smell a bit"
Those two are right, we should probably start to make our way out of here, we are still technically in a dungeon despite it being a basement.
For some reason, Aesa hasn't given me a reward or anything like that, he did say he would give me his blessing so why hasn't an ability or something come up?
'Aesa, is this place complete or not?'
[<Affirmative, this dungeon is now complete and dungeon master appears to have given up ownership. Unaware if he is deceased or not>]
She seems pretty sure on it, I guess this time around, the blessing is the reward? Whatever that does, Aesa would've told me if she could feel it's effect but clearly, she can't.
As we're leaving that dungeon, I have a question that I feel like Petra will be able to answer. I think I already know the answer but I need her confirmation.
"Petra... why didn't status work on him?"
"That madman seemed to be an actual fallen God Ikarus, it must not work on their kind. Not sure why it's like that but that's the only thing I can think of"
So I was right, he clearly was an actual God, not just a rambling madman. Him using telepathy made me think he was a dragon for a second but I should've been able to see his status if he was, what a weird thing that just happened.
"Then why the hell was a God managing a dungeon?"
"..."
"That was a confusing encounter"
"Even my Lord has no idea on who Lyssa is"
Then a slight memory comes to mind, wasn't Lyssa a God of madness? Or was it something similar? If true, that encounter does start to make a little more sense...