Reincarnated as a Phoenix

"Urgh, the air in here stinks like shit"

"We didn't capture any elves, did we?"

"Haha, those knife ears definitely would make a cesspit smell nice"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA"

Most of the crowd in this place roars in laughter, they clearly seemed to like that.

Okay, watching this show has shown me something, dwarfs really hate elves. Not even just a little bit of banter like insulting your friend, this is full-blown hatred where I reckon they would kill every single one if they had the chance, they seem to love all other species though.

Me and Petra are sitting on seats watching a play in a packed-out theatre looking cave that has a stage at the front with several male dwarfs dressed in costumes, the crowd must have a hundred people in or so.

This show is supposed to be the most popular one to watch in the dwarven kingdom, mainly because it's supposed to be based on truth. If it is true, then their hatred of the elves might be justified.

When the volcano first erupted, the elves saw it as an opportunity to wipe out all the dwarfs. The dwarfs tried to retreat from the mountain range they had called their home for centuries and were greeted by elves who refused to allow them a single place to retreat from the volcano or even to just cross their land to escape. They ended up being forced to stay in a mountain range with a volcano that had literally just erupted, you can see why they had to retreat underground.

It's ironic, the elves actually seemed to take more damage from the volcano from the sounds of it in total, the caves grew with fungus that allowed the dwarfs to survive while the elves had to survive in a dead land filled with soot and no food. I'd say that's kinda deserved if you look at it that way.

Of course, this was a very long time ago, pretty much everyone who was involved in such a thing should be dead by now, it might be completely fabricated as well.

Want to ask Petra a question so I whisper it to her, it's rude to speak loudly while a play is on.

"Petra, is this propaganda or something?"

She whispers back to me.

"No actually, this mostly happened, obviously the exact wording would be a lot different"

I really hope the elven city of Aurora doesn't have elves like this, this bird won't think twice about trying to burn it down but I still doubt I've got the power to do so even if everything gets doubled when my clothing is complete.

I could get Petra to help but waste of EXP, they should be alright though, hopefully.

"How many elves would it take to change a lightbulb?"

"None, they'd just try and admire their reflection on the glass"

"Hahahaha"

Oh, forgot to say all the underground is lit up by lightbulb the uses same type of mineral that lights up the empire's capital, that strange type of ore that seems to light up indefinitely.

'Most of this play was alright but it does seem to be dragging on a bit now...'

__________

After leaving the theatre cave after its finished, we now need to decide what to do.

"Where to next then?"

"You wanted something to eat right? There's a nice place just up ahead if I remember correctly"

Petra starts walking ahead but I stand still, there's something that I'd like to do but can't find the words to say it. Damn this stupid bird brain of mine.

"You know, seeing that this is kinda a date and all..."

Urgh, I want to hold hands but feel awkward saying it, sometimes I wish she could read my mind so I don't have to say things like this.

"What is it Ikarus?"

"Erm... remember that thing we did at that ruin?"

"Oh, if you want to hold hands, just ask"

At least she very quickly gets what I'm thinking about.

She walks back to me and lightly grabs my hand, her hand always seems to be warm for some reason, at least compared to mine.

"Saying it out loud is difficult though"

"Then don't ask and just do it, not going to say no"

Urgh, she has a point like usual.

Hang on, why am I initiating things anyway though? Shouldn't she be doing it since she seems to be more in the lead between us? Ah forget it, any relationship we potentially might have isn't going to be normal, focusing on something like that is dumb.

We walk still holding hands for a little while and come across a store, this place surprises me slightly.

"The dwarfs like sweets?"

We've arrived at what clearly looks to be a dessert shop once again carved into the caves like with everything else, windows in a place like this would be nice but we are in caves after all.

I've bought sweets and stuff like that in the capital but I've never actually sat down in a shop to eat them, I tend to just get everything to go since we're always travelling. This is going to be a new experience then.

"Every species has a sweet tooth Ikarus, is it really that surprising?"

I guess it's not, just seems like these lot would prefer bitter food rather than sugar, also their love of alcohol and the amount of them that smoke being what I'm basing this off. Heck, I can even see people smoking inside here, good thing there's filtration systems all around the place otherwise smoke would be everywhere. It seems to help the smell as well so it's more than bearable.

We enter into the dessert shop and get greeted by a waitress? Or server, something like that.

"Welcome to café Rose, table for two?"

A dwarven woman greets us in the cosy looking dessert café, the place looks to be half filled and looks surprisingly nice despite nearly everything made of stone in this kingdom. Well, nearly everything.

(Petra) "Yeah, just us two"

"Follow me then"

The woman then leads to us to a table, we sit and she passes us a couple of menus.

"Here's your menus, I'll give you a few minutes to decide, then I'll come back shortly"

After speaking, the woman leaves us for a short while. Petra now decides to say something stupid.

"Choose anything you want; this is my treat toda-"

"No"

We're not doing that money thing we did again back when I stole her bed at the inn, I've got enough money to last a lifetime, for both of us if needed as well but Petra always seems to have money as well.

"This isn't that big of a deal Ikarus"

"No, we're doing this again. Those other two had the right idea, half and half otherwise just buy stuff separately"

Nat x Lotte go halves money wise on everything, might as well do the same thing if this is going to start becoming an issue or we just buy our own things. I'm just stopping any potential arguments from ever coming up in the future, money always is an issue but clearly ours is slightly different than the normal reason.

"*Sigh*... I'll just agree then"

Why does she look a little depressed about that? It's unneeded generosity, you're too nice for your own good at times Petra, maybe it's just towards me though...

I open the menu on the table and start having a quick look through, there's no pictures but obviously we can read it, there's human and dwarven language as well so the translator isn't even really needed.

They must get a load of human visitors to this place, maybe we have just come at an odd time? I'm yet to actually see any humans in this kingdom, it's either not the time for holidays here or that they just like to use two languages for some reason, who knows?

Then I read something that makes me happy, I am still childish at times.

"They have ice cream!?"

__________

A little time later...

"... So you're saying you actually pulled him out of the trash compacter?"

"Pretty much, he would've been crushed if it was a minute or two later."

Petra was telling me the story behind her and Garry the gnome. Long story short, she's saved the clumsy old dwarf's life at least four times, every time has been down to the dwarf doing something stupid or extremely clumsy.

We put our orders in a little while ago and wouldn't you know it, the server has returned with a tray full of sugary goodness. Who needs nutrition when you can just pig out on sweets?

"Here you go, hope you two enjoy"

The server places the large tray down and I can't help but look like a kid in a candy store, all this sugar...

We ended up ordering a selection of things like multiple slices of different cake, two milkshakes and a big ice cream style sundae between us, chocolate still doesn't seem a thing in this world but there is at least sweet looking sauce and fruit cut up on it, the fruit ruins it by making it healthy though.

It honestly is amazing how they can even get things like this down here; I'm guessing they have loads of farms holding many different types of animals and crops in these caves as well.

No idea how they'd be able to feed the animals, maybe that fungus crap feeds everyone? Haven't given that a try yet but I don't plan to, it apparently tastes like shit, the dwarfs themselves have said such a thing.

As for crops, I guess they'd only need dirt and water for the basics, guess they can grow stuff outside as well just not in the volcano parts but I could be completely wrong.

They're really advanced, underground farms don't even seem all that impossible with these lot. I shouldn't think so heavily on this, let's just tuck in, haven't had ice cream is so long...

Before I get the chance to grab my ice cream spoon, someone else takes it first.

"Say ahh"

Petra has taken both spoons and is holding my one hostage, she's even holding like she wants to feed me or something.

"Oi, we're not doing this"

"Then you won't have any"

She then uses the other one to start eating, is she seriously trying to be this cutesy about this? If that's even what it's called.

I could just use a fork but who uses a fork for ice cream? Sighhh, I'll just humour her then, it's not even like I'm completely against it, just would prefer to be on the other side doing this if I'm being honest.

"Fine then"

She then puts my spoon up to my mouth and I unfortunately bite from across the table, not literally of course, that would break my teeth, stone carved spoon after all. Embarrassment levels have now risen from completing such a task.

"There you go, that wasn't so difficult, was it?..."

'Yes it was... this ice cream is good though'

"... More?"

She's seems way too happy doing this, I'll just keep humouring her if it keeps her smiling. I already know it's because she's a massive tease.

We really do have a weird relationship though, it's crazy to think that I used to be the guy as well...

__________

We spent the next week exploring nearly everything the dwarven kingdom had to offer, even then there were still places we hadn't seen just yet, this place is basically the size of a country after all. The trains help getting around massively though.

Most of it just involved stuff you might do if you go on holiday or to a tourism type place, there is a damn lot to do here so getting through everything isn't possible.

Had to keep checking in every now and then for my enchanted clothing to be complete as well. In the end, it took six days for it to be completed.

We've just come out of the gnome's shop and I'm wearing it now, it is as bad as expected.

"Okay, I regret my life choices now"

"Heh, at least you look cute in it"

"You better keep giving me compliments otherwise I'll need to change back"

"Noted"

After picking up the 'new' clothing that was made from Garry the gnome, I realized very quickly this had become an issue once I put it on. It resembles the original dress I wore very closely, colour is the exact same with a few tiny exceptions but mostly not noticeable at first glance. I swear it looks a little more revealing as well but I really can't tell why though.

Getting it on wasn't even that much of an issue, it's getting it off that's the problem. It has no stretch to it at all and is extremely tight fitting, I can still get around well enough but it isn't something that you would call comfortable to wear anymore. The ego in this is a bastard.

At the very least, it makes my waist look a lot smaller and two other things look more enhanced being pushed up if you catch my meaning, I'm unsure if this was intentional or not but who cares about that?

But of course, there is two massive pros to the uncomfortable con, I'm twice as powerful as I ever was and I never have to strip down to change form anymore, that alone makes this worth it.

I did ask Aesa if this could break the stat cap of one hundred and sixty thousand something but no, this cannot pass those limits unfortunately. Did I already ask her that before? Can't remember.

It will help a hell of a lot getting there to max level though, just might be at the cost of my waist being crushed, actually feel sorry for women in the past who had to wear uncomfortable crap like this. It says a lot it might be easier to just sleep in the damn thing then deal with the hassle of taking it off, oh well.

Let's just stop complaining now, this entire stupid situation has turned into a massive plus because of this.

'Status'

[Name: Ikarus | Species: Phoenix | Level: 66]

[Health 29,562*/30,000*]

[Stamina 8,426*/10,000*]

[Magicka 20,000*/20,000*]

[You currently have 3000 unassigned points]

'Just look at those stats! I'm like the equivalent of being a level six-hundred and sixty if compared to human stats. I bet I could destroy the mage now, what was her level again Aesa?'

[<Target Leone level was at 325, unknown if that remains the same since last update>]

'The prince was roughly fifty levels below her, point wise I'm ready but great abilities other than the giant one are still lacking'

Oh, forgot something else, since everything is only doubled when I'm wearing this, don't expect any loopholes like the gambling ability accidently taking off only half what it's supposed to, everything stat wise gets doubled. My point is even though five thousand points should be removed; it obviously would make it double if I'm wearing this... wait, that's technically incorrect, at least for the unassigned points, those don't count since they're not being doubled right now.

That three thousand extra I have for example would be six if applied as I am, I'm just pointing out obvious stuff now though.

"You seem really happy Ikarus, what are you thinking about?"

"My stats, I'm basically getting ten times more than normal humans get now"

Well, I'm technically not but still, this is completely worth it. Screw that perverted ego bikini, you've now become actual clothing! I might be a little weird, wearing clothing that literally has an ego should really make me think twice but I couldn't care in the slightest, all enchantments have egos and all the other three phoenixes are fine with there's.

"Heh, good to hear then"

I feel like she's just humouring me by giving a response but I'm not fussed, it's meant it a nice way anyway. We should start to make a move soon, getting this clothing sorted has been a little bit of a nightmare and it has been close to a week already, time has flown by in here.

"Should we head back now then?"

She pauses for a second from my questioning and stops walking, we were walking and talking previously.

"Would like to spend some more time together but guess it can't be helped, we'd be pushing for time if we continue on"

We've probably got at least fifteen hours left, shouldn't leave it too late just in case the train is running late or some other problems arise. We can always kill some time back down in the southern part of the mountains as well if needed.

It's time to head back to the party and go to the elven city of Aurora afterwards, it better be as good as rumoured, all I know is that it's very big right now. Hang on, where's Petra?

Oh, she's right there, she started walking forward again. Kinda want to hold hands again as well...