Reincarnated as a Phoenix

---This dungeon is a little odd, you'll hopefully understand shortly---

__________

We’ve spent three days out here in this meadow waiting for Aesa to finish, she is clearly looking for the perfect optimized route through this but even then, it shouldn’t be taking this long. She still responds when spoken to but you always get a swift, Aesa is currently working.

Honestly, I feel a little naked without system constantly in my head. Sure, I know she can see us at any time like a God but still, it makes me feel uneasy. The mage Leone was right, I’m become too reliant on it. Just because she’s right doesn’t make her twisted horrible mind any better.

Oh, there is something really nice about this dungeon though, our magic doesn’t drain. Me and Charlotte have endless amounts of magicka, I can light a fire forever! If it wasn’t for me being in a kid’s body, I’d like this dungeon a lot, I really am a sucker for a good flamethrower. I’ve also been experimenting a lot with what I can do as well but can’t be bothered to show it right now.

None of us have a clue why this random family of three were in the middle of nowhere, Aesa included. It just makes our start even harder than it should’ve been.

Still, I’m getting to ignore the romance elements of this place so that’s extremely good, would like to see those two getting closer together but I might have to give a rest for a little while. This place is unknown territory, I’ve purposely been serious the last few days, there’s quite a simple reason for that.

This place is filled with bandits. Every day, a dozen of them or so stumble into our little camp the adults have set up. A romance novel filled with bandits, my best guess is that the protagonists would’ve had to stumble into them and the problematic encounters would have developed their relationship even further.

They provided no issue though, I cooked them with my fire and the priestess incinerated them with her orbital death laser, that’s what I’m calling it from now on. The knight couldn’t get involved since he doesn’t have a sword, he does have a wooden spear he crafted for himself but we always take care of any problems before he has the chance to help. Magic is definitely OP in this world, it kinda was back the continent of Sierra as well.

I doubt if I’ll get any EXP from this, I obviously can’t check since status doesn’t work inside here as well as my storage stuff. Also curious if we’re supposed to kill the bandits or not, some romance novels would have the prince be a bloodthirsty maniac and the commoner woman plead for their mercy, the priestess doesn’t understand mercy towards bandits and both me and the knight are in agreement with her.

Anyway, back onto what’s happening at present, it’s roughly evening and I’m cooking a couple rabbits with fire coming out of my hands, no need using the firepit we’ve set up when I can just cook the creatures with my hands. I am a portable firepit after all, might as well make myself useful.

Both the party members are also sitting near me, the priestess cut down a tree with her summoned sword so we’re using that cut up tree log for chairs, they also made a few good wooden and fur tents for sleeping in.

“How long will it be Ikarus-sama?”

“Depends… do you want raw rabbit or not?”

That came across as snarky but who cares? My fire cooks faster than using a natural one so I’m allowed to be an aggressive chef, I do take after the best swearing chef in the world after all.

“Charlotte was only askin-”

Before Nathan has the chance to defend his love interest, a voice speaks from the heavens.

<Aesa has found answer>

“Damn it! I swear, she’s even louder now, that made me jump out of my skin!”

Both the party members give a little chuckle at my misfortune, this kid’s body gets more startled easier, that’s what I’m telling myself. I’ve dropped the rabbits I was cooking from that as well, still should be fine to eat later, I’ll just burn the dirt off it.

(Nathan) “Aesa, what do we need to do then?”

<If -user- and target’s -Charlotte & Nathan- take Aesa’s optimized route, story ending can be achieved within 7 days>

(Ikarus) “Seven days, that’s brilliant! How do we do it then?”

<To complete story at fully optimized speed, prince must become deceased>

…

Okay, this shit has gotten good now, I like this dungeon. Charlotte doesn’t though, she seems concerned by this plot twist.

(Charlotte) “Aesa, can you explain how killing one of the main characters will complete the dungeon?”

<Story has 4 potential endings. Ending 1 scenario involves saving kingdom but destroying demonic kingdom, fully optimized time, 249 days. Ending 2 scenario involves killing royal prince and story ends prematurely, optimized time, 7 days…>

I’m getting bored listening to her listing off all the possible endings, we already know which one makes sense to go for.

<…Ending 3 scenario involves saving demonic kingdom but destroying human kingdom, optimized time, 411 days. Ending 4 scenario involves side characters ignoring plot, corrected optimized time, 1020 days>

‘System really has been doing her research, she’s probably checked through the book multiple times to get to this conclusion, I should give Aesa more credit than I already do’

As for this story, it seems more similar to a visual novel then, multiple endings and different solutions to get them. Having Aesa in this situation is going to help out so much here, having someone who is basically an advanced AI using a cheat sheet is going to make this a complete breeze. I still don’t know why the priestess looks so troubled from this though.

“You don’t need to look so stressed about it priestess, it’s not like we’re actually killing a real person”

My comment annoys her quite a bit.

“How do you know that Ikarus-sama? There are many worlds out there, how can you be sure this dungeon doesn’t connect to another world and killing any chance they have at survival?”

<People inside story dungeon are not real, target -Charlotte- is incorrect>

Having Aesa being on my side always feels a little odd, I won’t complain about having some help though.

“Can you be completely sure about that though Aesa? The Lord has told me of such worlds before, everything is interconnected in some way or another”

Ah yeah, that reminds me, her God can’t talk to her inside here, there might be something like a barrier blocking it. She still gets all the perks, just not the voice.

<99.99999999918% chance of dungeon world not existing as -real- world>

(Charlotte) “There still is the chance this place could be real?”

<0.00000000082% chance, dungeon chance is impossibly low. Chance should be disregarded>

I guess she is an AI after all. A percentage that low would make most people think that’s definitely not going to happen, I would compare it to the situation with Minos getting dragon descendant but that percentage is a hell of a lot higher than this one.

She’s really does look stressed about this though, I wish she would just take the easy option here, does she really expect me to be patient enough to wait for three years and not get involved in the story? Especially now knowing that I can end it just by killing one man, I can’t really understand why she’s so against this. She’s happy to massacre bandits but this is going too far? I know there’s a slight bit of a difference but killing is killing at the end of the day.

“Charlotte, I don’t mean to butt in but you’re completely wrong here”

Nathan is even getting involved now, that surprises me.

“Why am I wrong Nathan?”

“Wouldn’t killing one human be better than wiping out the entire demonic world? For all we know, are the demons really the bad guys in this? I know it’s quite a simple point of view but wouldn’t killing one man be better than dooming thousands?”

Blood hell! The knight has made a really good point here; the priestess is silenced by his response. Even I didn’t think of that, the needs of the many outweigh the few. This situation actually suits my selfish needs right now.

“*Sigh*… can we at least speak to him beforehand?”

<Negative>

“No”

I can’t help but shut her down here with Aesa, this is like naming an animal that’s going to the slaughterhouse. Don’t do it, you’ll just get depressed when it dies. If we speak to the prince and it turns out he’s a really nice guy, then it will only make the job ten times harder. I’m unsure why system said no as well though.

“Aesa, how do we go about killing the prince?”

<To kill target -Charles-, -user- and targets -Charlotte & Nathan- must find target -Rebecca->

Okay, the way system speaks here is a little confusing. To kill the prince named Charles, we need to kill the someone named Rebecca? Is she the commoner who falls in love with him? I thought we just needed to kill the prince though.

“Hang on, are we killing the prince or not though?”

<Killing target -Rebecca- guarantees target -Charles- death. Attacking royals ending has impossible difficulty, -user- and target’s -Charlotte & Nathan- cannot achieve ending>

‘I really wish she would stop this target and user thing; it’s getting even more irritating now’

So, were not killing the prince, we are actually killing the commoner who saves him. Attacking the prince would have been a cool idea but what can you do about it?

Even though this is still a novel, I’m actually enjoying this now, who needs all that romantic crap anyway? Nah, romance is fine, it just needs to be complimented with something else.

Charlotte however looks even more concerned now and Nathan is still in agreement with me, I’m happy he is against gender discrimination. Killing a male prince or a female commoner, he’s fine with both thankfully.

(Ikarus) “Where do we need to go to find her?”

The priestess still doesn’t look happy but she’s willing to keep quiet about it for now which is a good thing.

<Target Rebecca is located in village -Tieford-. From -user’s- current location, estimated time with sleep and rest breaks is 5 to 9 days. Once target -Rebecca- becomes deceased, dungeon will automatically complete>

“Then we’ll set off in the morning, it’s already too late as it is. You’ll still have to guide us”

<Affirmative>

“Yeah Ikarus, travelling at night doesn’t sound like a good idea”

“…”

Charlotte really isn’t happy about this, she better not become a liability. I’m sure she’s intelligent enough to understand the situation though, her job was to protect me after all.

“Ah right, the rabbits. I’m hungry”

__________

“*Yawn*… priestess! Just what do you think you’re doing!?!”

“I told you Ikarus might get the wrong idea Lotte”

“Wrong idea? Wait… no! It’s not like that!”

I wake up the next morning to find the priestess sitting on top of the knight, I knew they were getting closer but not this type of development and it’s happening so quickly!

“If you two wanted privacy, shoulda just asked. I can take a hint”

“Ikarus-sama, we weren’t doing anything, I promise!”

“We were just training Ikarus”

She gets off him and he also tries to get up but has to go onto his side to do it since his hands are bound behind his back, I never realized their relationship had such a sinister side to it.

“You’re tying him up as well!?! I know you’re a married couple in this world but still, seems like you’re getting into character a little much”

Both their faces are completely bright red now, I know this is a massive misunderstanding but winding these two up is making me laugh internally. Nathan is way too innocent and don’t even get me started on Charlotte, how can a succubus be like this?

<-User- should stop teasing targets -Nathan & Charlotte->

“Fine fine… why were you two like that then?”

“I just said Ikarus, it’s training. We just happened to end up in this position accidently”

“Yes, Nat wanted to improve his dodge but he can’t help using his arms to instinctively block, that’s the reason for his hands being bound”

“Lotte’s right”

Oh, her summoned sword is on the floor by where they were, their cover story makes sense at least.

Wait a second, Nat and Lotte? They have even shortened each other’s names as well now. I really should stop teasing them, they might actually end up a couple without my intervention. Good good!

“Okay, I’ll just choose to believe you, just ask if you want a little privacy, yeah?”

Both don’t respond from my teasing again, I just can’t help myself, alright? I also get myself up while saying that.

“Hey, when should we set off then?”

“Slow done Ikarus, you’ve only just gotten up. We still haven’t eaten and you should probably eat something as well”

I could do with some food I guess; I am in a kid’s body after all. Kid’s gotta eat.

__________

On journey to our destination being guided by our system God who watches down upon us, we quickly find a road and after travelling for several hours, we come across an inn. We couldn’t exactly bring much with us from this campsite since with have no backpacks or storage.

As we come across the door, I can’t help but notice the crappy sign in the shape of a love heart.

(The Lover’s Getaway)

“This… definitely is a romance novel with that name, I bet this inn is a place where both the prince and commoner both develop their relationship”

<Affirmative>

“Oh, that was a joke. Didn’t actually think that would be the case”

“Do you have a dislike of romance Ikarus?”

(Charlotte) “…”

The priestess is still unsure on a lot hence her silence at time, I’m guessing her moral compass doesn’t allow for her to kill people who aren’t considered criminals, that’s the only reason why I can think of why she’s so against this plan. At least the knight is happily on board with this and hasn’t even given it a second thought.

“No, of course not. I’m just not the biggest fan of cliché stuff. I’ll happily read anything”

I completely understand the irony of what I just said, I’m going to stop pointing it out all the time now.

“That’s not what I meant Ikarus, I mean romance itself, you said you were into women right?”

Why is he so curious all of a sudden? I’m fine discussing it but I don’t know what he wants to actually ask.

“Are you getting at something knight? I’m confused where this is leading”

“It’s just rare, that’s all I was getting at. The only time I’ve heard of it is when the some of the older knights hired workers for parties, some the knights are a nasty vindictive bunch though”

“Nat has a point with the first thing, I’m yet to meet someone interested in the same sex other than you. The church might be a huge reason behind it”

Are same sex relationships really rare in this world? I know there not exactly that common on Earth but still, they make this out like their finding gold or a diamond. It’s like what Charlotte just said, people probably have to hide it because of the church.

“This is probably a conversation for another time, we are standing outside an inn and I’m in the body of a child. If this isn’t this wrong time, then I might need a new brain because my current one isn’t working as intended”

My response gets a quiet chuckle from both of them and we enter the inn, might as well take a quick break from travelling. Immediately after entering, my dislike of this dungeon returns.

“She is so freaking adorable!!”

Some random woman has just picked me up inside the inn and is swinging me about.

<Aesa has made massive error, -user- should be ashamed of Aesa>

What is system on about? Forget it, I’ll ask in a second. The woman who has picked me up doesn’t seem to have heard system so only the three of us can clearly hear Aesa.

“It’s unfair you’re this cute!”

She better put me down in a second otherwise I’m going to burn her to a crisp. I’m not joking, she’s spinning me about like I’m a two-year-old, I swear I look around eight-ish. Regardless, don’t be picking someone else’s kid like this.

“Ikarus-sama doesn’t like that”

“Yeah, it might be better to stop”

“Oh, are you two her parents? I’m so sorry!”

She puts me down while apologizing to my party members.

“I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t help myself! Little Ikarus-sama is way too cute not to pick up!”

She bows down while apologizing this time, then walks over to serve tables in the mostly empty inn we’ve come across.

(Charlotte) “It’s fine”

(Nathan) “Okay”

Now that stupid situation is over, I whisper a question to Aesa so that no one can hear me talking to myself. I’m really concerned about something right now, when is system ever wrong?

“Aesa, what was that error about?”

<Aesa didn’t take into account story could be finished. Human who just picked up -user- is target -Rebecca-. Due to target -Rebecca’s- current location, story must have been completed and ending 2 has already been achieved>

“How the hell are we supposed to get out then!?!?”

I get a few looks from the people in the inn while I’m speaking really loud, similar feeling to when you’re on a plane and you have a screaming child kicking your seat. It can’t be that bad though.

<Aesa is unsure, apologies -user->

(Charlotte) “Apologies”

“Ikarus is just a little cranky, sorry”

Aesa is apologizing to me and my two fake parents are apologizing to the inn for me as well, I might be looking like a kid having a tantrum but that’s for very good reason right now. Something isn’t right.

I really don’t care how I look right now; I’m speaking as loud as I want.

“Aesa, did the people who were sent by the empire complete this place? It’s the only reason I can think for the story being completed”

It’s also the only thing I can think off that might help our limited knowledge right now.

<Negative, no records of previous occupants entering dungeon>

So, she actually has records of this place as well then? Just what the hell is going on right now? This is giving me a bad headache.

“We can figure out what’s going on in a second Ikarus”

“Let’s take a seat and calm down for a minute, okay?”

We all take a seat at one of the inn tables and I can’t help but start getting even more frustrated.

I just can’t figure out what’s going on, it’s just making me more and more cranky.

I’m honestly just thinking of killing that Rebecca woman but I doubt it will do anything, the prince is already dead and his death was one of the conditions behind the ending. It might make my mood slightly better though.

“This dungeon is pure chaos and confusion”

“Agreed Ikarus-sama”

“If we slow down and take a quick break, things might become easier to understand”

They both can hear Aesa too so they know something isn’t right, they have as little information as I do. Let’s do what Nathan says and slow down for a second, let’s give this a proper think.

This place is just full of plot twists and stupid confusing shit… Wait, that couldn’t be the actual premise of the dungeon, could it? If I were to assume all dungeons have a set theme, could that be it? The other was perversion, this one might be to draw confusion.

Okay, let’s give it more of a think. All the knowledge were getting is from Aesa basically reading a book, it should be a massive cheat sheet but it’s not helping at all. My main problem with all this is actually Aesa, she isn’t wrong. I don’t ever remember her doing or saying something incorrect until now, I can’t even make a joke of it because of how serious this situation seems. She even said I should be ashamed of her.

I feel like something or someone must be tricking us into doing or acting a certain way, it must be that. I mean seriously, why would you give an AI a book to read through if the story had already ended? It’s clear we would listen to her to guide us forward yet now it’s pointless, it’s just feels like it’s trying to stir up confusion.

So, the real question is, how does it want us to act? Our intention was to kill the commoner but now, that would be pointless, correct? Aesa told us that to end the story, the prince must die, that obviously no longer works. Also, the information she is getting is incorrect and even if we still listen to her, the information will probably hold another twist or something stupid in it, like learning we can stop the romance in the novel, stumbling into the woman were supposed to kill or the prince already being dead.

I think I’m massively overthinking this but we’ve already had some stupid twists, who’s to say another one won’t happen?

Hang on, what if that’s another twist? The commoner who if we killed now, it wouldn’t make an inch of difference, right? There would be no point in doing such a thing seeing that we just learned that ending won’t work since the prince is already dead.

Fuck it, I’m going to replace the confusion in this place with madness. Madness made from deadly fire.

‘I swear… if this works, I’m not stepping foot in another dungeon for a long time. Life is meant for enjoyment, not irritation and confusion’

The curse might just have wait, I know Minos still has tiny risk of getting it as well but I’m going to start losing my mind if I keep having to go through dungeons like this. Perverted dungeon and confusion dungeon, who’s to say the next one won’t be even more mentally exhausting?

Getting up to confirm my suspicions, I’m instantly getting a barrage of questions from my group.

<Aesa is unsure what -user- is doing>

“Where are you going Ikarus-sama?”

“Yeah, Ikarus?”

Ignoring everyone, I get up and make my way over to the barmaid commoner Rebecca who’s currently serving drinks to someone.

“Oh, if it isn’t adorable Ikarus-sama! If you wait a second, I can get you something”

‘If this doesn’t work, I might just burn this dungeon world down out of spite’

Plot twists are good and all but not when there stupid like this. It’s time to work.

“Ikarus-sama!”

“What are you doing Ikarus!?”

Both my party members start getting fearful watching me and for good reason, I’m about to do something really bad. The entire inn is staring with fear at me as well.

A fire tornado starts enveloping me as I’m getting even closer to the woman, I’m not doing this just because it looks badass, this makes the most effective use of unlimited magicka. This will be extremely quick and painless, almost like falling into the sun.

It’s built up enough now, I can barely see around through the cyclone of fire.

(Rebecca) “What… is happ-”

All the built-up fire surrounding me gets released all aimed straight towards the woman incinerating her instantly, even I feel slightly guilty but I would be a psychopath if I didn’t.

…

Thankfully, I was right.

“I fucking knew it!”

“What’s happening?”

“Ikarus?”

Everyone in the inn, us included starts going transparent till we all slowly fade from existence. I can’t help but give a little thought before disappearing though.

‘Cold blooded murder got us through this fucking dungeon’