Reincarnated as a Phoenix

“Erm… Petra?”

“Think we’re still in your headspace Ikarus. You did cancel it, right?”

“Of course I did… well fuck. Yo Aesa, have we broken something?”

…

‘No response… well isn’t this great. This better not be a situation where we’re forced to do something sexual in order to progress? I… think I’ve read too much smut…’

Spaced out in the void alongside my wife with no other souls in sight, we wander this endless place is search of salvation and… I promise I’ll stop making up crap someday. We’re not moving at all because where do you go?

It’s not even like we can create a chair or something to sit on while we’re here, guess we could sit on each other… I really need to stop. I guess last night is still running deep in my mind.

<Interesting… lost that predication. They were able to keep things contained>

<Ha! Told you they would spot the difference and not fornicate as fast as their loins would allow>

‘Why do I feel like we’re being judged or something?’

We follow the echoing voices, only to find darkness even where it comes from. That’s until both of us our blinded when three beings come into sight. I’ve got a pretty good idea on what these things are, especially with the overwhelming auras choking out this place.

An orb of light, and orb of fire and a horrid looking creature stand ahead of us, instinctively making both me and Petra go for our blades. And to be expected, we’re unarmed. At least we’re not naked I suppose. Every other bloody time we’re in the void, we’re normally naked.

(Orb of light) <We fail to see the reasoning and logic behind this meeting. Providing assistance is one thing, communication isn’t worthwhile>

(Orb of fire) <Lighten up *****, most of what we do isn’t worthwhile yet we continue on regardless>

‘Da fuck was that static sound that was just made? Are their names impossible to comprehend or something?’

(Demon) <Ha! Both of you keep it civil in front of our visitors, welcome lovebirds. It’s been a pleasure watching over you for such an endless time!>

Surprisingly, the guy who looks most grotesque and evil appears to be the most social out the lot of them… hang on Ikarus. Think about it for a second, a creature that looks part demon and holds an incredible amount of power. It’s got to be him…

Of course, Petra picks up on this as well. As if anything this big and important could get past her.

“The fabled first phoenix… is there a reason why we’re speaking like this?”

(Demon) <Ha! You mortals and your impatience, is it that infuriating just talking to beings that one cannot comprehend?>

(Orb of fire) <As usual with the designated systems, we’ll keep this honest and simple. This time around, there is no reason other than curiosity. We all find you very intriguing>

(Orb of light) <The others were less interested, this one included. We only want to keep things transparent without appearing to show distaste>

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of understanding how my brain works, then you should understand why I’m already pissed at these powerful idiots. We could be doing literally anything rather than this!

“You mean… you forcibly put us inside this place just so you could get a look at us? Da fuck? Just send us back if you’re not planning anything of note!”

My annoyance only further gets amplified when all three of the creators look at me like a bunch of mad scientists observing a lab rat.

(Orb of light) <This we expected. Designation number five did develop rapidly as the new phoenix suited her personality too well>

(Orb of fire) <Still getting huge resistance from number four, we all knew that would be expected though. No one can match a personality that toxic>

Already feeling the urge to start nuking indiscriminately from both of us still being treated like lab rats, Petra has to hold me back because I’m really going to lose it. This is what Aesa has to deal with, these idiots constantly looking down on us?

(Demon) <Relax, the phoenix known as Ikarus, we always offer assistance of some kind when we have these meetings, this time information may work… ha! Look who also cares to join us right in time!>

Forming in… literally in the nude, everybody’s favourite robotic wife is unaware of what’s going on until she takes one look at the beings we stare at. Was she hoping more sexy time would happen, why else would she be like that?

<Aesa is here now apparently… what did the creators try and offer Ikarus!?>

Almost immediately, Aesa’s confusion turns to fear as I guess she thinks something bad has happened. It will if these idiots stop wasting our freaking time, bad shit is supposed to be happening today!

(Demon) <Ha! Relax designation number five, we’re nearly finished. We didn’t tell her anything that might incriminate you, honest!>

[<Don’t trust them Ikarus. Anything they say or might say, blank out and ignore>]

‘I will… but to be fair Aesa, they did suggest upgrading two abilities I wouldn’t have done normally’

I see no other reason why I’d have upgraded those two in particular. Because of their suggestions, the rest of the phoenixes were able to fix their systems and I can now double my stats past the limit.

l know I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover but the demonic guy… you can just tell he has a hidden agenda. Besides, what incriminating stuff could they have on Aesa anyways? That she secretly cares for me or favours me over the wife? I already know all that!

“Something incriminating on Aesa? You must back up your words if you say something like that”

[<Damn it… why did Ikarus infect wife with her curiosity?>]

‘Don’t be doing that Aesa. If she’s going to ask the hard-hitting questions, you already know that’s on her’

(Orb of fire) <We presume the system hasn’t told you that it once served another?>

(Orb of light) <Designation number five was only named that because of you, the fifth of the phoenixes. Its creation predates all the others and only lasted so long because of the newest of us deemed it useful>

(Demon) <Ha… we really had some strange adventures together, didn’t we… Aesa? That time you got me and the hags searching through brothel outhouse? Or burning down that orphanage that turned out to be full of cannibals? Mortality wasn’t all that bad>

“Da fuck? Aesa? Is everything he’s saying true?”

A reaction of pure shock plagues this bird’s face as I can’t believe Aesa once served another!

I’m… not too sure what to think, am I supposed to feel betrayed or something? Because I don’t really. Petra was with another long before me and I’m fine with the sem-, I mean blood sucker. It’s not like it’s some untouched virgin thing, she’s a freaking system!

Remembering his mortal days, the demon has a smile only comparable to Asmodeus while Aesa just looks depressed about everything now.

<Sigh. Aesa is assigned to Ikarus now, just there was a time long ago when Aesa was assigned to first phoenix. Without those previous experiences, Aesa wouldn’t have been able to assist Ikarus>

Almost sounding distraught, getting this much emotion out of Aesa is just wrong. Sure, horny Aesa is a different matter. Depressed Aesa is as bad as seeing the wife sad.

“What actually happened then? Why are you now serving me instead?”

“Because demon creator gave up everything in search of power, involving Aesa. If things had gone to plan, Aesa would’ve faded into obscurity like how the other voices do”

Like the hags, I guess Aesa ended up in a situation similar to them. This kinda explains a lot on why she was so cold back in the beginning, she got abandoned by her last user.

(Demon) <You don’t have to sound so depressed about it. You voices seem to be happy with mortality, I just gave you another option. Losing what you were is meaningless if a fraction of you still remains>

“Aesa still remembers those horrid days stuck in the void vividly, first phoenix. Aesa will never forgive you for that”

(Demon) “Ha! You knew the deal when we were together. The second a better deal comes up, we’d depart. I always stayed true to my words. If you got attached, then that’s a good lesson to learn from”

Seeing Aesa visibly fuming at the demon, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out roughly what happened. Long story short, the first phoenix is not to be trusted by any means. He’ll always put his own interests first and even though I can understand why someone would be like that, hurting the ones you love is not okay. Fuck this guy!

(Ikarus) “Are we allowed to leave yet or do you need to get a good look at my arse as well or something?”

<Ha! Sure, we’re done with you now so until we meet again>

(Orb of fire) <That went exactly how you predicted *****. Mortals are strange individuals>

(Orb of light) <Indeed. Enough of this for now, we must return to our duties…>

And with the sound of a small click, all the strange looking beings disappear leaving us three in the void all alone… or back to my headspace now. Reason I know this is because of that table with rope next to us… a-ahem. Would’ve been nice if that someone had put that away…

Before we leave, I can’t help but approach Aesa alone and see if I can cheer her up a little. Being abandoned by anyone, even a dickhead like that creator must have hurt her deeply.

“Just so you know Aesa. If you ever think I’ll abandon my robotic wife, you’re dead wrong. I know I haven’t got you signing a contract yet but someday, you’ll be locked to me just like the wife”

Actually taking her back a little, I guess she didn’t expect a little Ikarus loving I normally only reserve for the wife. Hey, sometimes even my stoic but pervy system needs a little TLC as well! I’m just doing my duty.

<If this is someway of Ikarus telling Aesa things will be okay… then thank you Ikarus. Like wife says constantly, Ikarus doesn’t need to say sappy or cringy things>

“Heh, she knows you better than even I do Ikarus. Aesa knows you care for her; we both already know you’re a happy sack of emotion”

‘Happy sack of emotion? What the hell does that mean? Is that a cute way of calling me chubby again or something?’

“*Sighhh*… let’s just leave here already… idiots. This might be the stupidest harem in existence”

“Heh, don’t forget our plushie versions as well. They need a little of that Ikarus loving as well”

That actually gets a small giggle out of my pervy system and I can’t help but hide a smile. I can already tell, these two are set on continuing to bully me! It appears I’ve lost even more of the power dynamic between us all…

__________

“Orangey and sis, get the fuck up already!”

“*Yawnnn*… seriously kid? Is this your way of trying to get me to like you or something?”

“Erk, in what world would I ever want you to like me orangey!? That thought is disgusting!”

(Petra) “Zeki… careful what you say”

‘Ah, my loving overprotective wife who tries her hardest to stop my honour being insulted’

“I-I wasn’t sis! Even though I understand why someone would find orangey’s annoying c-charm and cuteness attractive, I’m just saying us two ever doing anything would be sick! She’s like an annoying older sister!”

“Heh… better”

Waking up literally to a face full of Zeki’s assets, I can’t help but get a little pissy because why would anyone want anything like that? Erm… I mean, anyone that can see behind the jiggly pounds of flesh. It’s the holder of said assets that ruins the enjoyment unfortunately.

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(Petra) “Zeki… just where are we?”

Looking everywhere excluding the obnoxious pair of breasts ahead of us, all me and Petra can see is the vast blue sky and a few clouds. I know for a fact we were in the dwarven hotel when we last entered my headspace, so we’ve clearly been moved somewhere else. Freaking creators forcing us to go speak with them, we’d have woken up way earlier if they didn’t force Aesa’s troubled past on us.

(Zeki) “We’re flying to where that annoying dwarf told us to go sis. Erk, little shit thinks he’s something now because he’s got a tiny bit of fluff on his face!”

(Ariza) “Uh huh, Denver told us to fly northwest until we see where the dwarven forces are. We’ve only just started flying really”

(Asmodeus) “Heh, this is really when things get good. All of you are going to shake when you see what we’re up against”

(Dermakvar) <Hmph… not sure why you were all so worried. Little and the dark one would always wake when they were done with whatever was keeping them out>

(Nathan) “Dermakvar, weren’t you trying to shake Ikarus awake at one point?”

(Charlotte) “You should’ve seen him Ikarus-sama, your father really was concerned. He started cursing the ancient Gods, whoever they are”

<Hmph, little mortals not knowing when to shut up…>

‘Heh, poor tsundere father… wait. Should I be concerned he tried to shake me awake? And that he might know who we were speaking to?’

All of us are up on my father’s back and I assume he offered to carry us all since he was that concerned for me and the wife’s safety. He really needs to soften up and become one with the fact he’s a big soft goofball. He loves both of us more than he cares to admit.

We currently fly over the northern ocean and the day would be lovely if it wasn’t for the fact it sounds like we’re flying to our deaths. Oh well, Asmodeus has always been a natural storyteller, maybe this’ll be an easy fight? And of course, the famous Ikarus red flag has returned…

Forcing my concerned mind elsewhere, I’d normally use Petra for that but something else comes to mind, I can’t help but realize something odd about Nathan. He’s grown up so much, he’s basically unrecognizable.

“Hey Nathan… you’ve lost your stutter. Although I can’t speak for mother, you seem to be fine around my ol’dinosaur now”

“If you must know Ikarus, the years have made it easier to get over that traumatic incident. The less said on that city, the better. Also… guarding a literal dragon empress has that numbing effect”

‘Ohhh… I kinda liked him more when he was boring and scared. Now, he’s a proper manly man, character development sucks!’

“Be honest with her Nat, it had nothing to do with that. Regaining your lordship as Apollo, that fear became stifled. That, and sneaking into a dragon’s cave helped”

<Hmph, knew that was you two who went into our nest>

“Hold up, you ransacked my parents cave!?”

(Nathan) “It was for a greater good Ikarus, if that helps at least”

While we were gone, I knew Nathan got those pillar artefacts from somewhere, but I didn’t realize they came from my first home in this world. Father doesn’t seem to care so I shouldn’t either, it’s just that everything in that pit… that’s me and Minos’s inheritance we’re talking about!

Putting my idiocy aside for one moment, we slowly approach the location in question and like fate is toying with us, the day begins to grow dim and we enter a storm like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The weather is meaningless to us though. None of us have any words to what lies ahead.

If you exclude the flying formation of wyverns and countless dwarven ships in the region, that thing ahead of us is beyond comprehension.

‘Fuck… status’

[Name: Charybdis  |  Species: Undefined  |  Level: Undefined]

[Health    1,000,000/1,000,000]

[Stamina 1,000,000/1,000,000]

[Magicka 1,000,000/1,000,000]

‘Think I would’ve preferred to NOT see that now’

A creature, as large as those ancient fossils stands or floats ahead of us and honestly… this could be it. I want to say it’s a gigantic snake or worm, but that doesn’t even get close to the size of that monstrosity. Our visit to the bone yard must’ve been a sign of things to come.

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And above said creature at what I think is its head, four Gods converse in the air, all using wings apart from the ex-God. She rides a wyvern.

(Poseidon) “Brother, please be reasonable and think this through, this act is something even I can’t forgive. That creature has already swallowed the kraken whole, this is not how you change a world!”

(Zeus) “Bah, you have a minuscule amount of power without your trident, Poseidon. Why would I listen to such weak words?”

(Athena) “Both of them have already lost their minds, Poseidon. Even if this creature successfully swallows the world, what after? How can you plan on rebuilding Olympus”

(Hera) “You lot worry too much, put your faith and trust in my Zeusy and everything will be fine! He knows exactly how to put it back to sleep; we’re only destroying those who litter this world like vermin”

(Zeus) “About that my dear… I’m unsure if it will work if it gets too powerful. That’s a problem for later though”

‘So, this is it then. Zeus plans on destroying the world, then reforging it in his image using this fucker to act upon his will’

Back in Olympus, Asmodeus said something that me and Petra will never forget. A creature so powerful and would cause us huge problems if we had to encounter it later on. This must’ve been the thing contained within that pillar…

Surprisingly, that hooded woman is nowhere to be seen this time around. Is this a good or bad sign?

“Look! We already have the perfect meal for the beast! Awake him my Zeusy!”

Already getting spotted by the bitch Hera, it looks like any sneak attack will go to waste. A shame really, there’s not many who deserve a dagger in the back more than her.

“Bah, it’s not that easy Hera… and was this thing a he? The fates may align with us this time though, it must know food is here”

Without much in the way of a warning, the ocean begins to shake, waves crash and the sky rattles as the creature starts to show signs of life. We may be fucked…