Chapter 27: Past
"What did I tell you?
Why can't you make it perfect!"
The 4-year-old child was beaten by his father due to not perfecting playing the piano.
"How useless are you?! Why couldn't you perfectly play fur elise! You are a shame of this family! Why did you have to survive and not her!!!"
"Iwm sowwy...."
The only reply of the child whose age just turned 4.
"Do it again, you won't eat until you perfect it."
"...yesh...."
The child played piano who was bigger and taller than him, the kid didn't eat for almost a night, fortunately, a kind servant give him something to eat, but was fired after that.
Ever since that day, no one helped him.
After two weeks of practicing piano at the age of four, the kid happily went to his father despite the bleeding finger.
'He will praise me! I perfect playing it'
The child innocently thinks about getting praise from his father, unfortunately.
"...so? Don't meet me when you'll say such a useless thing, get out. I have some papers to do."
The boy tried to smile and went back to his room
After that day, the boy did his best effort just to be recognized, be acknowledged.
"What kind of human being are you!? You are so worthless! You're already five but you couldn't solve this!? You good for nothing!'
The child's father threw the paper on his face, the child was looking down preventing himself to cry.
" Remember this, if you can't solve this, how can you be worthy to me? How can I use you? Yuuji, you should have died from that car crash instead of your mother. "
"...I'm sorry."
"Yuuji, your only purpose is to get my name to the top okay? You're only purpose is to serve me, help me to rise from the top, do this and I might acknowledge you as my son, you're already five, you can do it, right?
If you can't how can your mother be proud of you? She loves you so much remember? If you can't help your father, then your mother will be sad and angry at you, yuuji, your mother is looking down at us, watching us in heaven... Yuuji, you don't want her to be disappointed right?"
"Yes...dad."
"Good, now solve this math problem, it's just algebra and trigonometry, other kids who have the same age as you can do it... You can do it too right?"
"Yes..."
The kid says as he gritted his teeth, he went back to the room and learn everything on the internet on how to solve it, in only one week, he managed to solve everything.
"It took you one week? Others manage to solve this in just a day and you took one week to solve it?
Yuuji... You disappoint us, your mother and I... It seems we failed to lecture you...if your mother is still alive she would probably comfort you, but not me okay yuuji?
Your mother won't be here anymore...you killed her after all.
Yuuji, from this day onward, you should do what my job is, alright?
You already learn math English, this would be easy on you right?"
"...yes...dad."
Yuuji does all the paper works that his father entrusts to him, there is a lot of words that he couldn't understand, he wanted to ask but was left unanswered.
He looks at his dad who was now drinking alcohol while flirting with a maid.
After one day, his dad went after him angrily.
"You! What did you do! There is a lot of error in the paperwork! Because of you! My boss fired me!
You worthless thing!"
Starting that day, Yuuji's father started beating him, it was his fault that his father got fired from the company.
He got punched every day, especially when his father is drunk.
It always happen even when he turn 10, they were now poor, due to his father couldn't find a job and just continued to buy alcohol.
"Oi, buy me some boozed also did you get money by begging?"
Yuuji gave the only money he got was 5 yen.
"...even begging for the money you couldn't do it successfully? How can I buy booze with just this! How can you be worthless!"
Yuuji's father threw the bottle at his head making his head bleed.
"Get me some booze! Don't ever come home if you don't have alcohol in your hands!"
"...yes, dad."
Yuuji's world turns dark, the only friend he has transferred to a school after his father paid delinquents of beating his friend.
Yuuji, felt bullshit, his mind turn mature, he doesn't even know if he wants to be acknowledged by his dad.
After coming back into the cheap house, with a can of alcohol in his hand. He gave it to his dad while he went to the garbage looking for something to eat.
There, he finds a fried chicken albeit with a little flesh, but he went for it, it's better than nothing.
After eating he went home and saw his father seating on the chair with crossed arms.
"...I have found work."
Yuuji looked at him with wide eyes, he was relieved that his father finally manage to get a job.
"Yuuji, you know it right? You were supposed to die and not your mother, you wouldn't be alive if I didn't let you live."
"...yes"
"Your only purpose is to act like my shadow, your purpose is serving me so your mother would be proud of you...I might acknowledge you as my son if you prove it...did you get it?"
"...yes."
"Great, I have a job, the boss gives me this to solve, but I will leave it to you, I want to know how big is that stupid brain inside of your head. Solve this, I want to know."
"...yes."
After that day... Yuuji would help his father every day, the work that was given to his father was left to him to solve saying that it was for his good.
He live in his shadow without everyone knowing his existence, until his father became a famous person, his child, the existence of Yuuji is unknown.
It went all of it until he was 17, Yuuji whose existence is unknown came into the world.
It was at this moment that his father announce his existence.
"I have a...son."
Yuuji, who was watching the tv happily watch, was so happy that it might be this time that his dad will finally recognize him, but that thought soon broke.
" he was magnificent, he can play piano in the age of six, fur else, it's not perfect on his first try but after he turns 8 he mastered it. He can solve math that even I couldn't solve...my son is a genius. I'm so proud of him. Right now, he was already ten. He is here right now...
Renta-"
He turns off the tv, he sighed himself, looking at the cheap house he was in.
Thinking about it, his father is earning a lot of money but he was still living in this kind of house, it was also no wonder that his father only came home once a week.
"I see...yes, dad...I'm just a shadow of you...you .you finally rise to the top...I.I was happy... I'm really...happy...???"
Yuuji didn't realize he was crying, he embrace himself and never left the sofa. He was like that until morning comes.
9:39 am
Someone went inside his house when he look at the person, he couldn't tell what he was feeling.
"Yuuji, I have a meeting and I need you there, wear some clothes. Be quick."
"...yes."
After a few minutes of changing, they went into a large mansion. His father whispered to him.
"Act like you always do be my shadow, don't do anything stupid, don't stir some trouble, do you get that?"
"...yes, dad."
"...good, if your mother sees you like this, she would probably be happy."
'Mother....thinking about it, I don't remember her name and appearance anymore...so, why should I care if she was happy seeing me like this obeying dad? Why does she even care?
I wish I was the one who died in the car accident...'
Yuuji left the meeting not knowing what was about to happen.
It was only when he came back that he found out that his dad had a heart attack.
He was at the hospital, staring at his dad who still isn't waking up.
Not a moment later he saw his half-brother.
This little bot who was crying is still ten.
'Seems he has a nice life huh... Good for him.'
He stared at the woman who was trying to calm her son.
'I should thank you because if not for you father wouldn't have a job... He manages to hook a rich woman huh... Nice for them.'
An indescribable feeling that he can't tell what it was.
When he looks at his father who's now in a coma, this feeling grew longer.
The mother and son went home, while he was just standing, they didn't even know he was in the room.
Yuuji watch his father, until the day he died.
He just stared at the dead body.
And then realize.
"Ah, I wish you didn't die a natural death..."
'Dad, you wouldn't know, And I wouldn't know either until today...
How much I wanted to kill you, strangle you, cut your limbs...
Sadly, I didn't manage to do it...maybe I should do it to your family?'
"...no, they are innocent...mother would be really sad if that happen, she might hate me if I did that... She doesn't want me to become like that..."
Yuuji left the place and disappeared from everyone who knows him, his dad's company rises when his 10-year-old son took the responsibility, albeit he was helping him secretly.
When he turns 18, he saw an anime called noragami, it also started on that day, he change.
.....
.......
"Yuuji...you shouldn't feel what it means to be happy... You killed your mother, my wife...
You will only disappoint others, don't ever expect something yuuji...
Remember, your only purpose is to let others rise, you should only act as their shadow. You are only a tool for others, you are a disposable tool
....they will abandon you someday, just like how your mother and I abandoned you.
So don't expect anything...yuuji remember, you should die instead of them, that will be the only thing they will acknowledge you."
*
* Yato POV*
*Gasp"
"Haff... Huff...huff...ngh...!!!"
I held my face, cold sweat around my back, I was hyperventilating...
"D..damn it...fuck this..."
"...Yato? What happen?"
"!!!"