Redraw Me

"Look, I'm going to try it on this orange first, all right? Can anything possibly go wrong if I change this orange into something else?" Alexandra had her confident grin on, an expression Jamie knew too well. There would be no changing Alex's mind, since it was swirling in a heady brew of excitement, determination, and self-assurance. I love this girl, she thought with an inward sigh, but she's going to get both of us in so much trouble one of these days!

Jamie peered at the orange on Alexandra's desk, then at the pen in her left hand. At its front end, the pen looked like a typical stylus of the kind artists used to draw on a tablet. But there was something undeniably odd about the pen; halfway up the typical plastic shaft, it was joined seamlessly to a yellow wooden section that looked like it belonged on a pencil, which was then capped with a clicker, a cam of the kind you'd usually see on a ballpoint pen.

To top it all off, there were two long feathers sprouting from the wood, one black and one white. At a casual glance, you'd assume they were decorations taped or glued on, but upon closer inspection they were literally growing from the wood. It was as if some kind of magic had merged different writing implements from various eras of history. And Jamie was quite sure that it was magic, something she generally tried to steer clear of.

"Something... could go wrong," she said hesitantly. Jamie pushed a floppy strand of dark hair out of her eyes, shifting uncomfortably in her oversized black T-shirt. "Haven't you heard of the butterfly effect? Small changes can have a big impact, unpredictably. It's chaos theory."

Alexandra stared her girlfriend right in the eye with a disarming, intimate look, then stood up from the huge, mesh-backed chair that she was apt to sit in for ours at a time, drawing. "In that case I'll put it right back the way it was," she said. "Just like I did with all the other changes. The only effect I want this to have is to show you how it works, so you're not so damn anxious, sweet lips!" Jamie smiled, disarmed as usual by the silly nickname.

"But you didn't undo all of the changes," Jamie protested weakly, with a nod towards Alexandra's chest. Her girlfriend's wavy red hair fell just to the tops of her breasts, which were nestled in a brand-new black bustier... and larger than they'd been two days before.

Alexandra smirked and waggled her torso a bit, which made her cleavage bounce a little. "You weren't complaining about these changes last night when you felt them up. And nobody's noticed! I went from a B-cup to a C-cup, it's no big deal. I'm almost twenty-two, and girls gain weight or develop further all the time at our age!"

Jamie smirked. "A C-cup, really? Maybe that top is a C-cup, but you look like you're squeezing Ds into it." Part of the effect was caused by Alexandra's small frame; she was petite but curvy, moreso since she'd used the pen to redraw herself.

"Maaaaybe. But nothing bad's happened since then! A little more ogling, but I can deal with that." Alexandra nodded decisively and clicked the cam on the end of the pen. The plastic, pressure-sensitive tip at the other end started to glow. Jamie found she was holding her breath as Alexandra began to move the pen over the orange. Red lines began to appear on the surface, obscuring the bumpy texture of the skin.

"How does it know what color to use? It's not like you have a palette." Jamie's fear was slightly outweighed by her fascination. She still remembered Portal Day, a dozen years ago now, when magic had flooded the world; remembered what it had been like in that first year when their parents were scared, but every kid wanted to become a wizard, or find a pet dragon, or escape to another dimension. That was before the real problems had started.

"Oh, I can see the palette... in my mind's eye, kind of?" Alexandra was concentrating, sitting back down at her desk to work. Now she was stroking along the edges of the orange, and part of it was just... disappearing? No orange juice was bursting out, even though the lower part of the fruit was being carved away, changing shape, narrowing.

What would it feel like, Jamie wondered, to be partially erased like that? For a pen to change the shape of her waist, her arms, or her--she stopped the thought before she could get there, but it still sent an electric thrum through her spine. She wanted to be a girl, just an ordinary girl, so badly.

Alexandra was almost done changing the orange into... yes, it was an apple. Red, with a tapered base, and shiny skin. As Jamie watched, Alexandra topped it off with a stem, a little more shine, and then added a leaf and a couple of tiny blemishes. She turned to Jamie and held it out proudly.

Jamie took it cautiously between thumb and forefinger. It felt solid enough and smelled sweetly of apples. "I would bite it, like Eve in the Garden... but I'm not sure what happens if you eat a magic apple? What if it turned back into orange peel in my stomach?"

Alexandra laughed, with a wicked glint in her eye. "Then you would gain the knowledge of good and evil, my child. And never be the same again." She reached for the pen again. "Now, are you ready for me to--"

Jamie grabbed her arm and pulled her close. They kissed passionately for a few moments, and Jamie felt the delightful melting sensation she so often got when Alexandra folded her in her arms. There was something undeniably hot about kissing someone whose entire body seemed to be made of soft curves. She moaned softly and bit Alexandra's lip gently. Then the shorter girl stepped back and looked at the apple in her hand. "What do you think? Ready to become the new you?"

Jamie's heart was pounding at her ribcage like a trapped bird flapping against its cage bars. Her voice trembled as she asked, "Do you promise to reverse the changes if... if I'm not ready to, you know... deal with anything?"

"Of course, I promise!" Alexandra grinned mischievously.

Even as she felt her body tense with the need she'd buried for so long, the undeniable need to just be herself, her head was reeling with questions. Alexandra saw her girlfriend's face crumple. "Sweetie... we've talked this to death! But if you're not ready..."

"No... no!" Jamie protested. "It's not that... I'm just scared. What if Mom notices, or Uncle Andrew? Or, God forbid... Uncle Will." Her face twisted in despair, thoughts of her family's thoughtless remarks over the years flooding back in like they always did. The homophobic jokes, the comments about her body being too slim and not buff enough, the way people stared at her at family gatherings. Calling her a sissy or a weakling, speculating about how her Japanese side, the legacy of her departed father, was "coming out" and making her act funny.

She pushed the thought aside. "It's okay, Alex. It's fine. It's not that. It's just... I don't want to lose them. I don't want to lose any of them."

Alexandra sighed. "I'm sorry sweetie, I wish I could take everything away for you--"

"You can't," Jamie replied quickly. "I have to live with it. Just... help me understand what to expect."

"Just like we planned," she said, spinning around in her big chair to pick some sketches up off of her light box. She set them down next to Jamie and pointed to one of a tall, slender girl with long black, hair wearing a t-shirt and jeans. "Behold, once again! Jamie Kurokawa, my original creation. Ok, not exactly original... my adaptation! You'll look exactly like this when we're done." Jamie had spent hours already studying this sketch, and the other studies Alexandra had done, but once again felt her eyes drawn to the female form on the top page of the sketchbook.

The Jamie in the drawing was smiling shyly at the camera, standing on one leg and leaning slightly forward. Her hair, the same dark color as Jamie's, was swept over her shoulder in a long ponytail. She wore dark grey jeans and a logo T-shirt, but there was no mistaking the fact that her body was female, especially with the delicate swellings visible under the shirt. She wasn't particularly skinny either; there was a definition in the legs and hips, and her arms were toned without being bulky.

Her face was also very pretty. She had deep brown eyes framed by thick lashes, a button nose with a cute upturn at the end, full lips painted pink, and high cheekbones. Her wide eyes were accentuated by dark makeup that made them stand out even more than they would have naturally. She looked calm and confident, a girl who was tomboyish but also a bit feminine.

"Tell me again... why'd you decide to draw me as a girl?" Jamie asked hesitantly.

Alexandra punched her on the arm. "How many times do I have to tell you? It wasn't because I thought you were girly, or feminine. You have the bro act down pat, at least when we're not alone. I just like drawing cute genderswaps and always have; I've got one of every major character from Dragon Ball Z and Naruto here somewhere, that I did when I was just starting out as an artist."

"Yeah, but..." Jamie trailed off helplessly.

"But when we started dating, and I kissed those delectable lips," and she reached up and touched the lips that had gotten Jamie mocked by her uncles more than once, "I couldn't help but think that I wanted to draw you, and it just came out that way. The female you. Maybe it was something about you, maybe it was intuition, but it was your reaction that told me the whole story."

Jamie couldn't help but remember the first time she'd looked at Alexandra's drawings of her; it had been like looking at herself in the mirror, but a mirror that showed what she might have been like if things had gone differently, if she had been born a girl, instead of a boy.

"You know how much I hate it when people say, 'it's fate' or 'destiny,' right?" Jamie whispered. "But sometimes it seems like that's what happened."

Alexandra nodded. "I know what you mean," she murmured. "I never believed in destiny before I met you."

Jamie gave her girlfriend a hug and lowered her head to rest against Alexandra's soft bosom. Her breasts really had gotten bigger, she thought. What would it be like to have her own pair...? Not anywhere near as big, she resolved.

"You know I just keep worrying," Jamie said. "What will I tell my family? What about my job, will I even still be able to go on duty? What about my clothes?"

Alexandra put a finger to Jamie's lips. "Shhhh. Sweet lips. You don't have to worry about that all at once. We made a plan to do this one step at a time, right?" She flipped the pages of her "Jamie the OC" sketchbook to a different page. This one had studies of Jamie with her hair pinned up, and wearing glasses and a dress, along with a number of poses showing off various features of her body: a slender waist, narrow shoulders, long legs, and so on. In several pictures she was holding books.

The fully girl Jamie was more bookish, she realized, maybe because she hadn't been required to join the family profession and become a firefighter. Maybe she hadn't been forced to train throughout high school for the physical aptitude test, either. "I love this pencil skirt!" Jamie exclaimed, pointing at the drawing of her wearing a simple tan blouse and businesslike black skirt.

Alexandra laughed. "We'll have to put it on the shopping list. I'm glad you saved money, because although I'd love to treat you..."

"...you're just a starving art student, I know." Jamie chuckled as she hugged her girlfriend tight again. "Okay. All right." She took a deep breath, feeling oxygen fill her chest, her ribs stretch. Were those ribs, that chest, going to feel different soon? "So.... what's the first step in this plan of small steps? Please say it's something that's not going to get me in a load of trouble right away?"

Alexandra smiled brightly. "The first thing I want to redraw is your... well, do you want me to tell you, or surprise you? You could close your eyes, I could work my magic..."

Jamie closed her eyes, enough of an answer for Alexandra to let out a small squeal of excitement. She heard Alexandra move behind her and then felt her warm hands touch her sides, lifting off her shirt. It was easier to be topless with her eyes closed; she didn't have to look at her own body to see the parts she felt so ashamed of: her flat, muscular pectorals, the small nipples, hair in a line down her sternum, those narrow hips. The parts that belonged to some guy named James Dougal Kurokawa, not to Jamie.

Alexandra's fingers were light, and she ran them over Jamie's ribcage, over her chest, and down to her navel. Jamie shivered. Her girlfriend must have picked up the pen again; Jamie felt it press against her skin lightly as Alexandra began tracing lines across her torso and down to her hips, slowly working closer towards the waistband of her track pants.

"Hey," she said softly. "Just one step at a time?"

"Shhhh," said Alexandra. "I'm not erasing anything just yet, don't worry. I would want to say goodbye first." She gently cupped Jamie between her legs, and Jamie felt her clit stiffen, lengthen. "I've been such a lucky girl, having a trans girlfriend who's comfortable enough with her body to fill me up on occasion..."

Jamie gasped, but kept her eyes closed. "Hey now. Are you molesting me, or drawing?"

Alexandra laughed huskily. "No, no. I just-- I'm so turned on right now. Your body feels so good! And your clit is so hard for me! I might have to rub myself off while I finish redrawing."

Jamie winced. "Please don't, babe! This is my body, my life! Can you concentrate instead? I promise we can play when you're done."

"Sorry," Alexandra apologized. "It's just... having this kind of power is incredibly hot, in and of itself. I want to give you what you've dreamed about... and I also get to reshape you into my own dream girl. Is that okay, baby? Do you want to become my dream girl too?"

Jamie shuddered with restrained pleasure. "You know I do, but I can't help getting scared. What if your pen slips? Don't like, cut off my arm or something!"

"Don't worry, sweetie. I know what I'm doing." Alexandra traced the pen along Jamie's neck, over her collarbone, then back down to her breastbone and the base of her throat. Then she started a series of light, curved strokes around her ribs. Her other hand moved down further still, until it was resting on Jamie's hip bone.

"That feels nice," Jamie murmured. Her clit twitched in response.

"I bet it does." Alexandra chuckled quietly. "I'm just steadying myself. I've got to get this just right for you... and keep that gorgeous complexion of yours. Just a little bit orange, like you're glowing from inside, burnished amber..." The pen was moving quickly around Jamie's chest, and she realized it felt different. Parts of her were moving that had been firm muscle, before! She had to bite her lip to keep from moaning. Alexandra was giving her breasts; but not only that, she was giving her a chance to be finally her true self.

Alexandra's voice was hypnotic, soothing. "Mmhmm. And then I'm going to draw your nipples a little bigger, a little pinker. Don't worry, this will all be subtle enough to hide under a sports bra. And then..."

She's going to make me a girl. Oh my God, she's really going to do it! Her thoughts were racing, her heart shuddering.

Then the tip of the pen pressed against her sternum again, and Alexandra drew two short lines across her chest and two along either side of stomach. They weren't straight; Jamie could tell because her spine suddenly felt wobbly, like something was squeezing her. Alexandra kept the pen moving against her sides, switching back and forth, and Jamie felt a sensation like being compressed and tickled at the same time, except the tickling went down lower and deeper each time the pen passed by.

"Is that supposed to be making me squirm?" Jamie asked. "It's like... what I think a corset must feel like?"

"Oh yes," Alexandra replied. "I like it when you squirm, but please try not to move! I'm almost done." The pressure continued against her sides for another minute, until Alexandra lifted the pen away from Jamie's body. She felt Alexandra kiss her navel, her hips, her waist. Even feeling where those kisses landed made Jamie aware of the different shape of her hips, her waist, and her chest, which seemed smaller now, more delicate. How was she going to hide this? She had to climb, and carry, and do drills tomorrow morning!

"Shhh, my brave one! Hold still. You're almost ready." The pen was moving lightly across her hips. Alexandra tugged at Jamie's track pants, and she felt the pen moving across her buttocks as well. How much was she changing? Jamie felt her heart rate increasing.

"All done!" Alexandra sighed in relief. "You can open your eyes, best girl." The first thing Jamie saw was her girlfriend's face, looking happy and flushed, almost like the first time they'd had sex. This was a different kind of glow, flush with the power of creation.

Then she looked down at her own body. She had breasts. She had her very own boobs! They were small and perky, but there was nothing flat or manly about them; these tits looked delicious. And the rest of her was shaped slightly differently too: a thinner torso, tapering in to her waist, which was now noticeably slimmer than before, curving gently in a way that reminded Jamie of a violin. Her hips were just slightly wider too. Androgynous, but not masculine anymore.

Alexandra reached out and touched her cheek. "You look so beautiful," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," said Jamie. She wanted to cry with happiness. She cupped her new breasts, marveling at how soft they were. Her hands swallowed their small swell completely; her nipples were small and round, and tingling faintly. She squeezed one between her thumb and forefinger, feeling it grow larger and harder. "Oh my god!" she gasped. "These feel... unbelievable." Her left nipple had gotten fat and plump with stimulation, now as wide around as a small grape. She couldn't believe how much it ached to squeeze it between her fingertips! She rubbed it against her palm, loving the slickness of it against her skin.

"I knew you'd love them." Alexandra was beaming. "I drew them both ways... they're growers, not showers? That's what you wanted. Oh god... can I try one?" She had that look on her face that Jamie knew meant "hungry now."

Jamie giggled. "Yes, you may." She pulled Alexandra toward her, and she kissed the tip of a nipple. Alexandra sucked on it greedily, making Jamie groan in delight. Then they were falling onto Alexandra's bed, the standard-issue dorm bed where they'd made love many times, but now it was somehow all new and all familiar at the same time.

Alexandra pushed Jamie down onto the mattress, straddling her hips as she sat up. Jamie watched her girlfriend's head bob up and down as Alexandra took turns sucking on each nipple. When she brought herself down between Jamie's legs, Alexandra leaned forward and pulled down the front of her girlfriend's track pants, and boxers.

Jamie's clit bobbed free, and Alexandra stared at it greedily. "Is it... okay? Like I said, I want to say goodbye to this nice thick organ of yours. I mean, assuming that sometime soon we might..."

Jamie put a finger to Alexandra's lips this time. "Yes. It's okay. Today, at least." She held back a giggle as Alexandra lowered her head and licked her clit once, twice, three times. "Ooooohh yesssss!" Jamie cried, clutching her own brand-new boobs. "It's definitely okay!"

Alexandra grinned wickedly and lowered her head with mouth wide open.

***

Later, as they lay in bed, Alexandra was running her fingers through Jamie's hair. "I wish I could have kept redrawing your body," she murmured. "It feels so good to be able to change things. To give you what you want."

"Every artist's dream?" asked Jamie. "Make the world over according to your vision, thrill audiences everywhere?"

Alexandra shifted restlessly. "I know you're worried about me like, erasing people from existence, or warping reality. I don't think the pen is all that powerful, but I swore an oath to you that I'd be careful, and always ask permission. You were right, and I'm sticking to it."

Jamie leaned over her girlfriend, to stare her in the eye. She felt a new kind thrill as her breasts bobbed, just slightly, with the sudden movement. "You know I trust you, baby. You know that, right? Otherwise, how could I have let you..." she gestured at herself. In doing so, she noticed how out of place her broad hand and hairy, muscular arm looked next to her chest. Not freakish, but definitely not hers in the way that her torso now was.

"I know you trust me, babe." Alexandra nodded. "And I'm sorry for being such a jerk about it." She smiled ruefully.

"It's okay," said Jamie, kissing her nose. "It's a lot of responsibility to carry." She flopped back onto the comforter next to Alexandra.

As they lay there in the afterglow, Jamie thought about what they knew of the pen, the magical artifact that was potentially changing her whole life, her existence. Alexandra had described the market stall where she'd found it, hidden in a back alley near Penn Station, in a bazaar full of junk jewelry and cheap electronics, but also strange wooden caravan wagons and floating platforms that had clearly come through a portal from some other world.

She recalled the merchant who sold it: a young woman with pointed ears and long canines named Chalmslea, whose tawny eyes had glinted dangerously when she realized Alexandra were interested in buying her mysterious object.

"This is the Burin of Fate," she'd explained, holding up the pen in question. "It draws destiny into reality. You can use it to erase someone entirely from history--or you can choose to change one small aspect of their life instead. As long as it is fated." According to Chalmslea, the pen had been created by a wizard who died in battle centuries ago, during something called the War of the Four Thrones. The wizard had tried to create a spell that would bring his lover back from the dead, but in doing so, he'd inadvertently destroyed himself.

"The wizard had loved his partner very much," Chalmslea had added. "He made then so he could save his lover's life by drawing his soul out of death. Since then, it has moved from hand to hand. And now it seems to be my fate to sell it... perhaps to you?" She'd smiled slyly. "This is an artifact that chooses its owner, you must understand. I don't set the price or the buyer, and it's only recommended for an experienced artist. It will not be easy to control."

Alexandra had immediately declared her wish to purchase it, and the strange off-worlder had produced a small platform with a pendulum and colored sand. She used it to determine the amount Alexandra should pay for the pen, and whether she could purchase it at all.

"You are fortunate indeed," Chalmslea had said gravely. "To be chosen by the Burin is rare." She paused. "And dangerous. But it seems you are... worthy? That will be $355.99 in United States dollars. Or an equivalent amount of gold. I don't take credit cards." So Alexandra had used almost all of the cash she'd gotten from various family members for Christmas gifts and walked out of the bazaar with a reality-altering pen.

"But how did the wizard destroy himself?" Jamie had asked. "Doesn't that seem like an important detail?"

Alexandra just shook her head. "Don't want to hear the gory details. I'm not planning on resurrecting anyone, anyway."

Now, soft snoring was coming from where Alexandra lay; but the sun was also peeking over the horizon. Jamie slipped quietly from the bed and found her clothes, along with the sports bra Alexandra had purchased the day before. She wrestled it on; it fit perfectly now thanks to the changes she'd gone through. The fabric seemed softer, less constricting across her chest than before, but still flattened her new breasts into a silhouette that could pass for a boy's pectorals. She tied her hair back into a ponytail, pulled her baggy clothes back on, and checked herself in the mirror. Yep. Still looked like a guy. At least to anyone but herself.

She crept downstairs and slipped out into the dawn light, towards the uptown train. Time to get back home.