LIGHTNOVELONLINE 45
Chapter 45 It’s Meaningless Now.
Dinner was served intermittently, arranged neatly on a small table.
Si Niya and Yao Li returned to the banquet hall.
Dai Na wanted to stay and ask the questions he had been holding in his heart one by one, but as the Emperor’s consort, he had duties to attend to and had to go back to accompany Si Niya in dealing with the delegation from Glassy.
Only Darren and the couple Qi Yao and Yi Er were left in the room.
From the moment Qi Yao and Yi Er entered until now, not a single word was spoken, and they felt uncomfortable even moving.
Darren’s hopeful gaze fell on Yi Er. “Can we sit down? Let’s have a meal and talk.”
Yi Er nodded stiffly and sat down opposite Darren.
Darren said, “And you, Qi Yao, please sit too.”
Qi Yao also sat next to Yi Er, feeling very constrained.
This time, Darren didn’t prepare the dinner himself. The dishes on the table were the same as those in the banquet hall, the highest standard of dishes for Imperial receptions.
Yi Er still didn’t speak. He really didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t even guess the purpose of Darren and Yao Li’s visit.
Was it under the guise of negotiating peace to make amends with him?
But how to make amends? Have a meal? Say a few words?
Regardless of his growth or his psychological state, what he had experienced and what he lacked could not be compensated for with material goods or words.
He deliberately avoided Darren’s gaze, mechanically eating the dinner in front of him. Out of respect for Darren’s consort, he dutifully finished this disguised dinner to the last bite.
Darren spoke again, “Qi Yao, can you tell me about Yi Er?”
Qi Yao was stunned by Darren’s question and was a bit at a loss, “Yi Er, he…”
Yi Er interrupted Qi Yao, “If you want to know something, you can ask me. Don’t bother him.”
This was the first thing Yi Er said to Darren tonight.
The word “bother” made Darren feel embarrassed.
He was at a loss for words, feeling awkward all over, and stumbled, “Yi Er, how have you been these past fourteen years?”
Yi Er put down his utensils, wiped his mouth, and answered seriously, as if narrating someone else’s story, “These fourteen years, I’ve been fine because I’m your orphan. Your Highness, the Queen, has never mistreated me, not even once.”
Darren’s eyes flickered briefly with panic, and his face turned ugly as he lowered his head. When he raised his head again, his eyes were filled with shame. “Yi Er, can you stop talking to me like this?”
Yi Er’s heart felt blocked, like a breath stuck in his chest that he couldn’t exhale. Neither up nor down, it made him uncomfortable. He reluctantly said, “If I don’t talk like this, then I don’t know what to say to you.”
Darren’s face drained of color in an instant.
Yi Er once again avoided Darren’s gaze.
He didn’t want to say these words to hurt Darren’s feelings.
Regardless of the strange experiences of the female zerg before him, the fact that they shared the same bloodline as father and son was an unchangeable fact.
But he was too conflicted inside. If he had once harbored hope, he didn’t know when his true feelings had become unable to convince himself to accept Darren.
In terms of reason, in terms of public and private affairs, just the identity of the consort of the Marshal of Glassy had already set him and Darren parallel to each other.
That was an insurmountable barrier.
“Father…” He took a deep breath, forcefully suppressing the stale air stuck in his chest, and after a moment of silence, he said softly, as if prepared, “You don’t need to make amends to me for anything. It’s been so long, and both you and I have new families. I don’t need your amends anymore.”
Darren’s breath caught in his throat.
Under the table, Qi Yao gently held Yi Er’s trembling hand.
Yi Er’s Adam’s apple rolled, “I actually don’t have the right to question you, but setting aside the identity of being a consort, as an Imperial officer, I really want to ask, when you stepped into Imperial territory following Yao Li, did you ever think about what kind of identity you were facing His Majesty, facing me, facing the people above and below in the Empire?”
He squeezed Qi Yao’s hand tightly, as if grasping the light shining into his heart, enduring the discomfort in his throat, he choked out, “Your picture hangs prominently in the Imperial Heroes Archive, in the best position. You are the belief and example in the hearts of many Imperial officers.”
“Among those ‘many’, includes me.” Darren’s heart sank into an abyss in an instant. He wiped his face with both hands, unable to come up with a single word.
Yi Er’s words came crashing down, smashing his self-deception into pieces, and smashing his eager hope for forgiveness back into the depths of his heart, too embarrassed to show his face again.
Suddenly, he felt that he might not even be worthy to call Yi Er’s name.
“I… I have thought about it…” After struggling for a long time, he summoned the last bit of strength, and said with difficulty, “But I had many constraints, I…”
What constraints? His offspring? Yao Li? At this point, he felt that his reasons were feeble and powerless.
He had nothing more to say, because he couldn’t even find a reason to convince himself.
As time passed, Yi Er felt like he was suffocating.
The air here was obviously well-ventilated, but he couldn’t catch his breath. Even if Darren said a word that convinced him, he would feel a bit better.
The feeling of suffocation was about to engulf him, and he could only grip the hand in his palm tightly, as if grabbing onto the only lifeline.
After who knew how long, he couldn’t bear it anymore, desolately pleaded, “Father, I don’t want to eat anymore. Can I go back?”
Darren despaired, covering his eyes. Still not getting Darren’s answer, Yi Er took the initiative to pull Qi Yao up and walked directly to the door.
As he reached for the doorknob, Qi Yao suddenly stopped him, “Wait.”
Yi Er stopped and loosened the button on his collar, which was almost choking him.
Qi Yao comfortingly squeezed Yi Er’s hand and looked into his bright eyes, “Can I have a few words with him?”
“What do you want to say?” Yi Er didn’t want to stay a moment longer.
“The words you want to hear, you can stand here and listen. I’ll leave with you as soon as I’m done.”
“Okay.”
Qi Yao let go of his hand and turned to Darren.
Darren’s eyes were red. He tried to force a smile as he watched Qi Yao approach step by step.
But a smile was really too forced for him at this moment. He couldn’t muster it, so he gave up and just watched Qi Yao approach woodenly.
Qi Yao adjusted his breathing, trying to make his tone warmer, “Perhaps I should also address you as Father.”
“Um…” Darren’s voice didn’t sound very good. Even for a single syllable, he needed to summon a great deal of courage.
Qi Yao glanced back at Yi Er for a moment, then quickly looked away and said to Darren, “It’s disrespectful of me to say these things to you, but I must.”
There’s nothing I can’t listen to now.
Qi Yao took a deep breath and spoke the words he had prepared for a long time, earnestly and clearly, “Every time you appear in front of Yi Er, he’s never been happy, two years ago, last time on the asteroid, and now.”
Darren suddenly became uneasy, his lips moved silently.
“Yao Li wants you to be happy, I understand, but Yi Er is my consort, and I want him to be happy too.” Qi Yao’s heart ached dullly, “If he can’t be happy seeing you, then I won’t agree to him seeing you in the future.”
“You don’t know how much he silently endures, and you don’t know what you mean to him.”
“But none of this matters anymore, because no matter what meaning there was, it’s meaningless now. Perhaps, you know he used to shine brightly?”
“He doesn’t have that light now, but he’s striving for it… I feel very sorry for him.”
“If you also feel sorry for him, then I request you, don’t force him anymore.”
“Sorry, but he and I can’t accompany you anymore.”
After Qi Yao finished speaking, he bowed to Darren, then turned and left with Yi Er, holding his hand.
The heavy soundproof door clicked shut, seemingly sealing all the heavy emotions inside the room.
Escaping from the suffocating space, Qi Yao and Yi Er wandered aimlessly in the Imperial Palace. Tonight, everyone was receiving Glassy envoys in the banquet hall, so there wouldn’t be too much attention on them.
After walking for a long time, the sound of rushing water came from nearby.
Following the sound, they saw a dazzling fountain.
Water jets created colorful arcs in the air.
Qi Yao suddenly reached out, wrapped his arm around Yi Er’s shoulder, and pulled him into his arms, “After hearing i said that just now, I felt like you needed a hug. Here, let the lord give you a hug.”
Yi Er hesitated before hugging him back.
After a while, Qi Yao said, “Is this your decision?”
Yi Er was stunned, “What?”
Qi Yao asked, “Not wanting his compensation.”
Yi Er replied softly, “His compensation means nothing to me anymore.”
“Well, then let’s forget about it.” Qi Yao tightened the hug. After a long time, he said again, “I’ve made a decision for you.”
Yi Er rubbed his soft hair at the back of his head, “I heard.”
“Are you feeling any better now?”
Yi Er lowered his brows and closed his eyes for a moment before saying emotionlessly, “Yes.”
“Then we won’t see him anymore.”
“Okay.”
Perhaps because they had opened up, or perhaps because of the moist air by the fountain, or perhaps because of Qi Yao’s comfort, the stifled breath that had been trapped in Yi Er’s heart for a long time began to dissipate unknowingly.
In an instant, his heart surged with something he had longed for. He tightened his arms, deepened the hug, closed his eyes, and rubbed against Qi Yao’s ear, whispering softly, “Thank you for the hug, Lord.”
The night was quiet, with only the sound of the fountain’s water flowing gently, bringing a sense of peace to the zergs.
Qi Yao lightly patted Yi Er’s back, then asked, “Shall we go home?”
Yi Er showed no intention of letting go of him, “Let’s wait a little longer.”
“Okay. The timing is just right, let’s hug a little longer.”
Qi Yao let him hug him.
Until a court zerg passed by, intending to drive away the zergs aggressively. When he approached, he found that the silver-haired female zerg buried in the male zerg’s neck was General Yi Er. He quickly pretended not to see and hurriedly walked away.
Qi Yao heard the footsteps receding, then peeled Yi Er off him and chuckled, “Look at you, scaring away the zergs.”
Yi Er reluctantly ended the hug, complaining, “It’s their timidity.”
Qi Yao echoed, “Yeah, they’re all afraid of you.”
The two zergs walked out together.
The sound of the fountain gradually faded away. As they walked, Yi Er said, “When we get home, I also want to install a fountain in the courtyard.”
Qi Yao: “……?”
Why did this idea suddenly pop up?
Yi Er: “It should be as big as this one.”
Qi Yao agreed, “Okay, and we’ll also install colorful light pillars!”