LIGHTNOVELONLINE chapter 18
Even if stained black, one can become white again
I think everyone has scary dreams from time to time. I’m no exception, and sometimes I have dreams that make me shudder.
Facing the vast darkness, standing alone in the silence, I feel scared. But right now, I’m not that afraid. Because of the warm feelings lingering in my heart, I know that in reality, I’m sleeping with a happy expression in Towa-kun’s arms.
No matter how scary or painful things may be, just having the person you love there helps you overcome it. That’s what I learned from Towa-kun.
“hehehe, I wonder what I was doing just a little while ago.”
Without confiding in Douwa-kun, I was simply biding my time, keeping a close watch for an opportunity to seek revenge on those people. Even now, I cannot forgive the many hurtful words directed at Douwa-kun, but I no longer felt inclined to engage in acts that could be deemed as despicable.
If understanding cannot be reached, I will continue to discuss until it can be, and if that fails… perhaps running away somewhere with Douwa-kun wouldn’t be a bad idea after all.
As I envisioned such a scene in my mind and a smile escaped my lips, I inquired. A girl wearing a black hood, with a face strikingly similar to mine, who had always been by my side.
“This is the path I have chosen. A future where I walk alongside Douwa-kun.”
Upon uttering those words, the girl responded with a fleeting smile.
“…Is that so. It seems we are different. I’m a bit envious.”
With a hint of regret or sorrow in her words, she raised her head. Her eyes, gazing at me enviously as if echoing her words, lacked what could be described as emotions. A child with a face like mine, I could somehow understand this girl. But I also had a strange conviction that once I woke from this dream, I would surely forget about her.
“However, you must have someone important to you as well. Am I right?”
To these words, she nodded.
“Yes, that’s right… It is indeed.”
I felt like she smiled behind her hood.
A light shone between me and her, indicating that the time to awaken was near. She conveyed these words to me as a final message.
“I hope you find happiness. Embrace your future… with Douwa-kun forever.”
“…Yes, of course.”
I responded with a smile, of course.
I woke up.
In the still slightly dim room, light seeped through the curtains. I felt a slight morning chill and as my consciousness gradually awakened, I suddenly realized something. I was being embraced… by the arms of the person I love the most, my beloved Douwa-kun.
“…Douwa-kun?”
Even as I asked, Douwa-kun did not wake up. On the contrary, he tightened his arms around me even more. It wasn’t uncomfortable at all despite the increased strength; in fact, I thought he could embrace me even tighter.
Since I was already awake and had no intention of going back to sleep, I decided to lean into him to fully feel Douwa-kun’s warmth. His warmth, his scent, his living heartbeat… all of it was so dear to me that I felt like I was at the peak of happiness. Of course, considering the future, I couldn’t be completely satisfied yet. Douwa-kun and I will surely become even happier.
As I was determined in my thoughts, the strength in Douwa-kun’s arms loosened slightly. Feeling a bit disappointed, I decided to reciprocate by embracing him and rested his head against my chest.
“Mmm?”
“…Cute.”
Perhaps he felt something from the sensation of my chest against his cheek, as he made a cute sound, but he didn’t wake up. Since my chest was on the larger side, I took care not to make Douwa-kun uncomfortable and gently embraced him, showering him with affection.
In this moment, I felt a strange sensation. What could it be… maternal instinct? I don’t have children yet, so I’m not sure about that feeling, but the overflowing love in my chest was truly comforting.
“Ah… Douwa-kun.”
He was rubbing his face against my chest, tickling me, but I didn’t mind at all.
Holding the adorable Douwa-kun close to my chest, after a while, he finally woke up. At first, he seemed dazed, but gradually his mind seemed to clear up as he understood the situation he was in.
“…Being sandwiched in your chest upon waking up, how unexpected.”
“hehehe, does it feel good?”
“Not at all.”
Honest as always. I like this straightforward Douwa-kun too.
With a large chest, there are indeed various gazes one receives. From classmates at school to men during commute… those gazes are not always pleasant.
But, even so, if Douwa-kun says something like that, I feel like saying how well he has grown. It’s a downside that my shoulders get stiff, and it’s a pain that I have to spend money on underwear.
Spoiling Douwa-kun like this, being spoiled in return, and basking in a love so deep that it melts us both, we finally got out of bed.
“Shall we go to the bath?”
“Yes, indeed… hehehe.”
“What?”
“Just thinking how happy I am since morning.”
There are many things I want to do, but first, a bath is a must.
I bathed with Douwa-kun, cleaned up, and then spent some lighthearted time together. Ami-san, who had a day off work, joined us, and we had a lively time.
By early afternoon, I had something to do, so I excused myself. Douwa-kun offered to walk me part of the way, and I gladly accepted. Walking arm in arm, leaning against each other as we walked… It was the same as yesterday, but I loved being close to Douwa-kun like this.
“Well then, Douwa-kun, I’ll call you again.”
“Yeah… but, ahahahaha, I feel a little lonely.”
“…Yes. I feel lonely too.”
If possible, I want to stay by Douwa-kun’s side forever, but we’re still students, so we can’t do that. I want to grow up quickly, get married, and be with Douwa-kun from morning till night… Oh no, I’m hopeless. I really seem to like Douwa-kun too much.
As we parted ways, Douwa-kun kissed me, easing the loneliness a bit… I smiled, said goodbye to Douwa-kun, and headed home.
“…………”
Just before entering the house, I glanced at Shu-kun’s house across the street… That was it. I didn’t know what had happened to him since then, but to be honest, I wasn’t interested. I had something I needed to talk to my mother about now.
Opening the front door and saying “I’m back,” there was no response. But I could sense someone was there, so it was certain that my mother was home. I straightened my shoes, headed to the living room, and indeed, my mother was there.
“Welcome home, Ayana.”
“I’m back.”
Unlike usual, my mother seemed somewhat awkward. I hadn’t told her I was staying at Douwa-kun’s house, but from the words “someone I like,” she should have had some idea. Besides, I had informed her that we would talk today, so my mother must have been waiting for me like this.
As I sat down facing my mother, about to speak, she spoke first.
“…Were you at his place?”
The short question, I knew who she was referring to. So, I nodded.
“Yes. I stayed at Douwa-kun’s house. We’ve started dating.”
“…I see.”
…It was a bit strange.
My mother disliked Douwa-kun, and I had expected things to get heated when we talked. But it wasn’t like that. Instead of anger, I sensed resignation in my mother’s expression.
“In the end…”
“?”
“In the end, my daughter will be taken away… by him, by that woman’s child.”
“What do you mean?”
I couldn’t understand what my mother was saying. I had felt disgust knowing that I was connected by blood to that person, hearing those words from my mother in the past. But it was also a fact that talking with Douwa-kun and reflecting on myself had broadened my perspective. That’s why, more than ever, I could see my mother now.
Looking at my tired mother, I suddenly remembered.
The discomfort I felt when I saw a photo of Douwa-kun’s father, a sense of déjà vu.
“…Ah.”
I had seen a photo of my mother from the past just once.
In that photo, a young mother from high school and a man next to her… That’s right. I remembered now. Douwa-kun’s father, Ryo Yukishiro, was the man in that photo.