LIGHTNOVELONLINE chapter 13
Last Fragment
During break time, I immediately collapsed onto my desk.
There’s no headache, but the discomfort lingering in my chest won’t go away. With still half the day left, the future seems daunting.
Images flashing in my mind and Ayana’s voice, the frustration of something unclear yet vivid swirling in my current state made me increasingly irritated. The break between classes is only 10 minutes, and I need to prepare for the next lesson, so I lifted my head, took out the textbook.
“The one who took her away from me… might be me.”
“…!”
Instinctively, I placed my hand on my forehead.
Although the break time was noisy, some noticed that my demeanor was different.
“Hey, are you really okay?”
Nearby, Aisaka and…
“Towa-kun? What’s wrong…?”
It was Ayana.
I seemed so preoccupied with myself that I didn’t notice until she spoke to me. When I raised my head to where the two were standing, Aisaka, as well as Ayana, had even more noticeable changes in their expressions.
“Your face is pale!”
“Let’s go to the infirmary!”
Both of them tried to take my hand, but I was about to say that I was fine, then swallowed my words. Certainly, if someone looked so unwell, it might disrupt the class. Although the eyes of the whole class were on me, I didn’t have the luxury to think about that and, relying on words, stood up to head to the infirmary.
“Aisaka-kun, I’ll take Towa-kun with me, so it’s fine.”
“No, but having a guy…”
“I’m enough… right?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
Aisaka saluted as if frightened by something. I couldn’t see Ayana’s face from where I was, but was she really making such a scary face?
“Aisaka-kun, I might be a bit late, so could you let the teacher know?”
“Understood!”
…What kind of face did you make, Ayana?
Taking my gaze off the motionless Aisaka, I headed to the infirmary with Ayana’s support. Honestly, I wasn’t so helpless that I needed this much help. But Ayana, who had become like this, never seemed to listen to my words.
If I were to say that, the response would probably be…
“Ayana, I’ll be fine alone, you know?”
“No, I’ll go with you.”
As expected, the reply I thought of, and an immediate one.
Led by Ayana, who never intended to separate from me, we headed to the infirmary. The teacher thought it might be a cold, checked my temperature, which was normal, and suggested I rest a bit on the bed. It’s obvious, but it’s more comfortable lying on the bed than collapsing on the desk. The discomfort also eased, and drowsiness gradually took over.
“Thank you, Ayana. I’m sorry for the trouble.”
“No, please don’t think of it as a bother. I’ll do anything for Towa-kun.”
Words overflowing with affection, yet conveying a sense of vulnerability, I looked at Ayana. She still gazed at me with gentle eyes. If I reached out, Ayana would kindly hold my hand… When a person is unwell, they do become mentally fragile, it seems. I held Ayana’s hand back, almost unconsciously moving my lips.
“Hey, Ayana. Are you happy?”
“Huh?”
Startled by the sudden question, Ayana’s eyes widened, but she soon nodded and answered.
“Of course. Just being by Towa-kun’s side makes me happy.”
She truly believed that from the bottom of her heart, her smile almost saying so.
If Ayana is happy, I’m glad too. But… that happiness she feels is probably because of the existence of Towa. So… does Ayana have her own happiness that is solely hers?
“What about your own happiness, Ayana? Can you say you’re happy without considering me?”
“W-Well…”
No good. My eyelids are getting heavy.
Until the moment she fell asleep, Ayana didn’t answer my question. I couldn’t hear what expression she had or what answer she gave.
“I don’t care about my own happiness. I belong to Towa… I’m only Towa’s. My happiness lies in Towa being happy. Isn’t that enough? That’s the meaning of my existence.”
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Ayana, suppressing her feelings to seek revenge for the one she loves. Some might envy being so deeply cared for, find it cool to punish those who hurt their loved one, different perspectives surely exist.
When I realized the feelings Ayana, originally depicted as a heroine being cheated on, had hidden – that it was hatred towards those who tormented Towa – I couldn’t help but feel a bit excited. Not in a s*xual way, but simply because I thought it was a form of emotion I had never seen before.
Ayana’s path, the course of her revenge, was all built around Towa’s well-being. Regardless of whether Towa desired it or not, Ayana believed wholeheartedly that it was the right thing to do. It might be wrong, but the fact that they had hurt Towa was what drove Ayana forward. Once she started, she couldn’t stop… Ayana never gave up on revenge until the very end.
“This is the end, huh… Heh, serves you right.”
There’s a scene where Ayana says this in the park as the rain falls. That park was where Ayana first met Towa, a place filled with memories for her. Whether it was because of being drenched in rain or if it was real, the droplets running down her cheeks looked like tears to me. Perhaps they were tears from her unconsciousness enveloped by a sense of emptiness after finishing her revenge.
The destination of people’s happiness varies greatly, but… will there truly be happiness ahead if things continue like this? Ayana will surely not show it on her face or through her actions. She will continue to think of Towa until the end.
“What would I do in her place?”
After playing the game, I had been pondering this question.
Towa never knew until the end, and Ayana would definitely never realize. This means that Ayana alone would continue to bear the pain of the past for eternity. If that pain could be lifted through revenge, it might be fine… but even so, I couldn’t forget Ayana’s expression in that park.
…It took a while, or was it surprisingly short?
It’s fine now. I won’t forget… I remembered everything now!
“Now then, what should I do?”
In this dark world, the real me should be sleeping in the infirmary bed. Just when I thought I should wake up of my own accord, a voice other than mine echoed in this space.
“It’s strange. To see your own face like this.”
“…?”
Turning towards the direction of the voice, I saw a familiar face from the past few days.
“…Towa?”
The man standing before me, the voice I heard earlier, unmistakably belonged to… Yukishiro Towa.