LIGHTNOVELONLINE Is This…. Fear?
the morning that had come and gone, and as night fell, Lortell found herself wandering the halls on her way back to her room. There was a strange lightness in her chest, a subtle happiness she couldn't quite place or even fully acknowledge. It was as if something within her was quietly rejoicing, though she hadn't realized it yet.
As she moved through the dimly lit corridors, every maid she passed seemed to freeze in place, their eyes widening in shock and disbelief. Lortell noticed the stares, each one filled with a mixture of surprise and confusion. The intensity of their reactions made her feel uneasy, a knot of discomfort beginning to form in her stomach. "Why are they all looking at me like that?" she wondered, her pace quickening.
Finally, just as she was about to reach her room, she nearly collided with her head maid, Lorraine. Lorraine's eyes went wide with surprise, and she stared at Lortell as if she'd just seen a ghost.
"Lady Mariette, did something happen?" Lorraine asked, her voice filled with concern.
Lortell felt a wave of unease wash over her, the knot in her stomach tightening. "Why?" she murmured, her voice so soft that only Lorraine could hear.
Lorraine hesitated, scratching her head awkwardly before speaking. "Umm... It's probably nothing. I guess it's just my imagination. It's just... I didn't know you could smile, Lady Mariette," she said with a nervous laugh.
Lortell's heart skipped a beat. "Smiling?"The word echoed in her mind as she quickly turned and hurried into her room, closing the door behind her. She moved straight to the large mirror that dominated one wall, the dim light of the night casting eerie shadows across her face.
There, staring back at her in the mirror, was her own reflection—her pale, almost ethereal vampire-like skin glowing softly, her red pupils shining like rubies in the dark. But what caught her attention most was the subtle curve of her lips, a small smirk that danced at the edges of her mouth, as if she were holding onto a secret joke.
Lortell blinked in surprise, her breath catching in her throat. For a moment, she was shocked, her mind racing to understand what she was seeing. But then, as the realization settled in, the anxiety that had gripped her began to ease. She reached out, her fingers gently touching the cool surface of the mirror where her reflection smiled back at her.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, that smirk widened, stretching into a full smile. And then, without warning, a soft chuckle escaped her lips. "Pfft..."
The sound startled her, but it only made the smile grow wider, her eyes sparkling with an unfamiliar warmth. She couldn't help it. The chuckle turned into a laugh—a small, hesitant laugh at first, but soon it grew louder, filling the room with a sound that was both innocent and eerie, like the first laughter of someone who had never known what it felt like to be truly happy.
"Hahaha... Bwahahaha!" Lortell laughed, her voice carrying a strange mix of joy and something darker, almost unsettling. She laughed so hard that she fell onto her bed, her body shaking with each breath as she tried to catch her breath. The laughter slowly faded, her giggles turning into soft, contented sighs.
She lay there, staring up at the ceiling, her chest rising and falling as she whispered to herself, "I must be going insane... hahaha..." But even as she said it, a lingering smile remained on her lips, a smile that spoke of something deeper, something awakening inside her for the very first time.
Lortell lay in bed, trying to find comfort as sleep eluded her. She shifted from one side to the other, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't drift off. With a heavy sigh, she muttered to herself, "Ugh... I can't fall asleep again."
But this time, she thought she knew why. The name that echoed in her mind was Esdeath. Esdeath always seemed to know so much, always had answers for everything. So why not this? Maybe Esdeath could explain why she couldn't sleep.
With a sudden burst of determination, Lortell tossed the covers aside and quietly slipped out of her room. Esdeath's room was only a few doors down, to the left. The hallway was silent, and the night wrapped the house in a thick blanket of stillness. No one noticed as Lortell crept through the shadows and reached Esdeath's door. Without hesitation, she slipped inside.
There, bathed in the soft glow of moonlight streaming through the window, Esdeath slept peacefully on her bed. She looked almost otherworldly, like a snow fairy resting in a winter wonderland. Yet, despite the serene expression on her face, the faint red circles around her eyes betrayed the exhaustion that clung to her even in sleep.
Lortell moved closer, her initial plan to wake Esdeath fading as she took in the sight before her. Something about Esdeath's contented face sent a strange thrill through Lortell's body. She paused, sitting on the edge of the bed, her gaze locked onto Esdeath as if she were trying to solve some deep mystery hidden within her.
For a few moments, Lortell simply watched, mesmerized. Her hand moved almost on its own, gently brushing against Esdeath's cheek. The touch was light, hesitant, yet it stirred something deep within her. Without thinking, her fingers trailed to Esdeath's lips, parting them slightly, revealing the glint of her teeth.
Lortell's heart quickened as she leaned closer, her face mere inches from Esdeath's. It was as if an invisible force was pulling her closer, urging her to close the gap. Her lips hovered near Esdeath's, the warmth of her breath mingling with the cool air of the room. For a split second, Lortell imagined what it would be like to kiss her, the thought both thrilling and terrifying.
But just as her fangs began to sharpen with a burning need, she caught herself. The urge to bite, to sink her teeth into Esdeath's soft flesh, flared up like a spark, but she shook her head, forcing the thought away. No... this wasn't right.
Lortell drew back, her breath coming in soft, shallow puffs. Instead of acting on her impulses, she quietly lay down beside Esdeath, her mind a whirlwind of confusion and curiosity. As she settled in, the warmth of Esdeath's presence next to her began to soothe her restless thoughts.
Before she knew it, her mind drifted into a peaceful void, her worries fading away.
The next thing Lortell knew, it was already morning. A gentle ray of golden sunlight streamed through the window, warming her face. The soft light coaxed her awake, and she blinked a few times, adjusting to the brightness. With a satisfied yawn, she quickly sat up, feeling unusually well-rested.
As she looked around, it took her a moment to realize where she was. Esdeath's room. She had fallen asleep in Esdeath's room. The memory of the night before came rushing back, and her cheeks flushed slightly.
Her gaze shifted to the small table beside the bed, where a steaming cup of tea was waiting. There was no doubt that Esdeath had already woken up and made it for her. Lortell reached for the cup but paused as she caught the blanket that had slipped off her shoulders. The scent of Esdeath lingered in the fabric, still fresh and comforting. Lortell couldn't resist; she brought the blanket closer to her face and took a deep breath, her heart skipping a beat as the familiar smell filled her senses. Her cheeks flushed deeper, and she quickly placed the blanket back, almost embarrassed by her own actions.
Grabbing the cup of tea, she drank it all in one sip, the warmth spreading through her body. A small smile of satisfaction appeared on her lips as she settled back on the bed, waiting for Esdeath to come in and greet her with some teasing remark or playful banter.
But minutes passed, and Esdeath still hadn't shown up. Lortell's smile faded into a frown as she glanced at the clock. "Why is she late again? Is this a new prank like last time?" she muttered, getting up from the bed. The idea that Esdeath might be hiding behind the door crossed her mind, and she quickly went to check.
She opened the door, expecting to catch Esdeath in the act, but there was no one there. The hallway was empty. A sense of unease began to creep in. Lortell hurried out of the room and flagged down one of the maids. "Where's Esdeath?" she asked, her voice tinged with impatience.
The maid gave a polite bow and replied, "Miss Esdeath is with her friends in the garden."
"Friends?" Lortell echoed, a sinking feeling in her chest. The only 'friends' Esdeath had were the kids who constantly bullied her. Worry gripped Lortell, and without even changing out of her nightclothes, she rushed toward the garden.
As she neared the garden, she could already see a group of children gathered there, but one person was noticeably absent—Esdeath. Panic welled up inside her. She pushed through the group and grabbed one of the kids by the arm, her grip firm. "Where's Esdeath?" she demanded, her eyes flashing with urgency.
The boy she had caught looked terrified. His face paled as if he might faint at any moment. "T-t-that idiot Morgan," the boy stammered, pointing to a grey-haired boy standing at the edge of the group. "He hid her book inside the jungle, and Esdeath went to retrieve it. But we... we heard cries of a werewolf from there!"
Lortell gasped, her blood running cold.
"What?!" she gasped, her eyes widening in shock. Her mind raced, thoughts swirling in a chaotic storm. Esdeath was in danger, and it was all because of that foolish boy, Morgan. For a brief moment, all she wanted was to tear into him, to make him pay for putting Esdeath at risk. But now wasn't the time for revenge. There were more important things at stake.
Ignoring the fearful glances of the children around her, Lortell turned and dashed toward the forest. She barely noticed the others watching her, their eyes filled with worry and fear. All that mattered was getting to Esdeath.
As she entered the dense woods, Lortell withdrew her mana, letting it spread out like an invisible net, searching, feeling. Her senses sharpened, and soon, she could detect the presence of two figures deep within the forest—one human girl and one female werewolf, facing off against each other. There was no doubt in her mind—the girl was Esdeath.
Lortell's breath caught in her throat as panic began to set in. Her breaths grew heavy, her chest tightening with each inhale. Sweat beaded on her forehead, trickling down in thin streams as her entire body became drenched in cold perspiration. She was panting now, her initial burst of speed slowing to a crawl.
Her heart pounded in her chest, each beat feeling heavier and more labored than the last. "Huff... Huff... I'm faster than this. So why... why can't I move?" she thought frantically, her hand clutching at her chest as if trying to calm the wild rhythm of her heart.
And then, suddenly, it hit her. The realization was like a bolt of lightning. Her eyes widened in shock as the truth dawned on her.
"Is this... fear?"
Lortell, who had always been so strong, so confident, felt the icy grip of fear wrap around her for the very first time. At just ten years old, a girl who was already on par with B-ranked awakened, Lortell had never known what it was to be truly afraid. But now, standing alone in the foreboding forest, she felt it deep in her bones—the fear of losing someone precious to her.