Reaver’s Song

Interlude Seven – Math Is Hard



“So, you see,” Moon enthused to a thoroughly befuddled Ashvallen, “since 2 and 8 are both powers of 2, if you substitute 23 for 8 you get 8x divided by 2y!” Ashvallen stared blankly as the pencil in Moon’s hands flew across the page. “Since the numerator and denominator have a common base you can write it as 2(3x-y)! Silly y always staying by itself!” Moon giggled as Ashvallen’s horror mounted further. “So, through that you can easily figure that the answer is 212. See?” She pointed at the paper. Ashvallen stared for a long moment, blinking slowly.

“Yyyyesss,” she finally said, not seeing anything at all. “And you say you learn this in school?’ Moon nodded. “Why?”

“Why what?” Moon cocked her head.

“Why would they teach this in school? I mean, how would this sort of thing benefit someone once school is over?” The entire concept of this ‘math’ eluded Ashvallen completely.

“Well…” Moon paused, thinking. “I mean, say you wanted to find out where you were. You could use math!”

“Just use GPS like a normal human,” Kittany mumbled from where she was sprawled on the chair playing a game on her phone.

“I-I suppose you could, but what if you didn’t have your phone!” Moon challenged her, plainly seeing an opening to strike.

“Then you’re stupid and forgetful and deserve to wander the wilds until you die from exposure or get killed by roaming gangs of miscreants,” Kittany answered, nonplussed. “Shit! Another Snorlax. Seriously, do you have anything other than Snorlaxes around here? Snorli? What would the plural of Snorlax be?”

“School is important!” Moon snapped, ignoring the question completely. “Math is important!”

“Look, I’ve been alive since 1878. I wasn’t taught anything about math, I’ve never used it, and I do just fine,” Kittany glanced up for a moment, narrowing her eyes meaningfully at Moon before returning to her game.

“1878? Seriously?” Moon gawked at the little mage for a moment before recovering her train of thought. “A-Anyway-ignore her! If she'd gone to school she would have known the plural of Snorlax." Kittany shot Moon a withering look. "Do they teach math in school where you’re from, Ash?”

“I don’t think anyone goes to school. I mean, I guess the nobles have tutors or something for their haughty little spawn, but I’ve never seen a school,” Ashvallen replied with a shrug, looking at the indecipherable scribbles on the paper Moon had been writing on. While it was plainly utter gibberish, it seemed important to Moon. Perhaps she would teach her this math, Ashvallen thought with no small amount of trepidation at the prospect, yet a definite thrill at being taught by the excited girl across from her.

“That’s so unbelievably sad,” Moon looked like she was about to cry. “An education is vitally important! A hundred years ago most girls weren’t even allowed to go to school! Now we are and we have to take full advantage of it!” Moon leaned forward and grabbed both of Ashvallen’s hands tightly in hers, staring deep into her eyes. Ashvallen glanced down in surprise but made no move to pull away. The earnestness in her brown eyes was infectious and she quickly found herself being drawn into Moon’s enthusiasm. “We can invent amazing things and run huge corporations and fly airplanes and cure horrible diseases and go into space- “

“Wait, what? Space?” Ashvallen was very confused. Airplanes? Space? What the hell did any of this mean?

“All because we can get a proper education!” Moon pressed on undeterred. “When we illuminate our mind, we can illuminate the world!”

“O-Okay!” Ashvallen replied hesitantly but with growing excitement.

“Good! I will teach you! I’ll teach you everything!” Moon was bouncing Ashvallen’s hands up and down excitedly.

“Hey, Marie Curie,” Kittany snapped, tearing her gaze away from the phone. “You know she’s going back to her world, right?”

“What?” Ashvallen and Moon both gasped in horror.

“Were you not paying attention when Bailey was prattling on?” Kittany scowled in annoyance.

“She never said anything about Ash going back to her world! I won’t let her!” Moon tightened her grip on Ashvallen’s hands protectively.

“Maybe she didn’t, she tends to wander sometimes,” Kittany shrugged. “Doesn’t change the reality, though. Since you are so keen on that math there figure this problem out with your little formula. Ashvallen here is inhabiting your sister’s body and your sister is in hers. So, if your sister’s successful and gets sent back, what’s that mean? Take your time to solve it and then share with the class.”

“No!” Ashvallen snapped. “I don’t want to go back! I don’t want to go back to eating trash and getting beaten! I want to stay here and learn math!”

“And I want to be the Queen of Korea,” Kittany smirked. “We all want things. Unfortunately, reality is a bit different. When this is all said and done you go back to where you belong. Don’t get too attached.”

“You- “Moon sputtered, trying to find the words to cut the smug little mage down to size and make everything she said not true. “Fiend!” She finally managed. She loved her sister very much and wanted her back safe and sound, but she had grown very fond of Ashvallen and didn’t see why she couldn’t have both of them with her.

“Fiend?” Kittany snorted. “Seriously? Ahahaha!! That was terrible!”

“You’re terrible!” Moon snapped. “I’ll find a way to keep Ashvallen here! I’ll learn this multiverse thing and figure out a way!”

“Quiet,”” Kittany snapped, sitting up straight, listening intently.

“You don’t have a right to send her back! You don’t have a right to be a mean and hateful little ferret like you’re being!” Moon bellowed, now so worked up she was crying while yelling.

“Be quiet, dammit!” Kittany growled again, getting to her feet.

“You can’t tell her what to do!” Ashvallen dove into the conversation, tears in her eyes as well. “I will not allow you to talk to her like that!”

“Shut the fuck up and get down!” Kittany yelled at both of them, gesturing to the doctor and Ayumi to get back.

“Eh?” Moon glanced around in surprise. It was at this moment the door to the apartment exploded inward with so much force it imbedded itself in the wall opposite it. Two figures emerged from the billowing dust into the apartment. One dropped to their knee and aimed a vicious looking pistol at the shocked figures huddled in the living room. A second later the sharp retort of gunfire echoed through the apartment. Again, and again the weapon spoke as the figure squeezed the trigger.

“Tch,” Kittany sucked her teeth is disgust. With a wave of her hand the bullets erupted in flame, turning to ash before they could even come close to finding their marks. “Are you the best your goddess can muster?” The gun burst into flame and the figure yelped in fear and pain as the metal melted and the handle burnt to a cinder.

“You’re not supposed to be here, Kittany,” The other figure snapped. She waved her hands in intricate patterns, launching fiery missiles at the little mage. Kittany waved her hand and the missiles dissipated harmlessly.

“And you shouldn’t be here at all, Diana,” Kittany smirked. Where the hell were the guards they’d posted? Probably dead by this point. Kittany winced. They were good people. Given the Golden Coven’s absolute lack of tact and strategic awareness the police were most likely on their way. “You’re in way over your pay grade right now.”

Once more the fiery missiles lanced out of the robed figure’s hands, racing toward Kittany and once more they were brushed aside. Kittany walked toward the pair easily, keeping herself between the door and her charges huddled in the living room. The figure that had the gun pulled a knife and looked to be readying a charge until the steel knife blade melted like an ice cream in summer.

“You know you can’t win this, Diana,” Kittany sighed.

“I don’t have to win, Kittany,” the woman replied, the grin on her face barely visible from within the cowl.

“Fuck!” Kittany exclaimed, realization dawning on her. It had been a ruse to get her away from Ashvallen. Kittany turned, her hand made a stopping gesture and a wall of flame erupted between her four charges and the window. A dull thud sounded but Ashvallen seemed unhurt. “You are so fucked right now.” Kittany growled, turning back to the figures at the door.

“I’m prepared to die for my goddess,” Diana replied unsteadily, nevertheless standing upright proudly.

“Good thing,” Kittany acknowledged. “Goodbye, Diana.” The figures were quickly wreathed in flame. Their screams stopped abruptly as Kittany closed her fist. With a sound like a sheet snapping in the wind they were gone, nothing but ash remaining, falling to the floor from where they had once stood. “We’ve got to get the hell out here.”

“We’ve got a problem,” Dr. Hideki murmured as Kittany rounded the sofa where the four had been hiding. Moon lay crumpled against the back of the sofa, her face pale, and her eyes closed as a rapidly spreading crimson stain bloomed on her blouse.

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” Ashvallen repeated over and over, a look of anguish on her face. She took Moon in her arms and rocked her gently back and forth. She brushed a lock of Moon’s raven colored hair away from her face with shaking hands, leaving a smear of blood across the girl’s forehead. Ashvallen panicked and tried to wipe it away desperately, sobbing brokenly. “This isn’t happening. She’s going to be fine. She’s going to teach me math, so she has to be fine.” Ashvallen shared a look with Tomoko and sighed.


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