Realistic Harry Potter

Albus Dumbledore sat there in stunned silence, just like everyone else, when the handsome and well fed boy stepped out of the crowd of children after Harry Potter's name was called for a second time. When it was called the first time and no one stepped forward, his old heart nearly gave out. He had been sure that Hagrid told him Harry was there and then wondered what could have happened to the poor ignorant boy between the front door and the Great Hall.

The 'ignorant' portion of his thought evaporated as Harry performed several powerful cleaning and mending spells, in front of the entire student body, no less. He restored the ancient sorting hat to a state that even Albus himself didn't suspect the hat was hiding under hundreds of years of accumulated dirt and grime.

Now that Albus was looking closely at the boy, he saw the well-maintained clothing and the prim and proper haircut, and his thoughts lost the 'poor' part of his assessment. He couldn't understand why he was still carrying his trunk, however. Students weren't supposed to be bothered with carrying their own luggage from the train.

His thoughts were derailed as Harry sat there for quite a long time. Much longer than any other student. After several minutes, the hat finally spoke and placed him in Griffindor like he had instructed the hat to. His applause joined that of the Griffindors and he glanced at Minerva to see her frown. That was a bit concerning, considering she was the head of the House. When the sorting was done and she resumed her seat at his side, he leaned over to speak to her.

“What seems to be the bother, Minerva?” Albus whispered. “Having Harry in your House is a great boon, is it not?”

Minerva lost her stern expression and leaned close herself. “I had thought so. Getting that poor boy and taking care of him has been my priority since his parents died.” She whispered back. “However, his behavior so far has not been exemplary.”

“Do tell.” Albus responded.

“I believe you need to start the feast first.” Minerva chided him and he chuckled.

“Of course, of course.” Albus said and stood up. The hall hushed and he raised his hands. “To the new students this year, welcome to Hogwarts! To the returning students, welcome back! Before the banquet begins, I would like to say a few words. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!” He said to uproarious laughter. “Thank you! Let's eat!”

The tables were suddenly filled with delicious food that the house elves had been preparing all day.

Albus sat down and picked up his goblet of wine and leaned in close to Minerva again. “Please continue, dear lady.”

Minerva raised an eyebrow at him and he gave her a smile and took a sip of wine. She had to smile back and began telling him what happened.

*

“He's bloody brilliant!” Ron said from across the table from Harry.

“What? Why?” Hermione asked. “Those were just normal words.”

“They were pure jibberish! Ha ha!” Ron laughed and bit into a giant turkey leg. “How does he come up with them?”

Harry and Hermione exchanged looks and didn't tell him those jibberish words were actually muggle words. They leaned in close to whisper to each other.

“Do you think he chose Griffindor?” Hermione asked.

“I overheard his brothers say that all of the Weasleys get sorted into Griffindor.” Harry whispered. “Family tradition.”

Hermione looked over his shoulder at the boisterous group of redheads not far away. “I suppose that makes sense. They are pretty loud and outgoing.”

“I bet he still asked to stay with his brothers.” Harry said, a little disgusted. “I spent most of the train ride with two Hufflepuffs and he was a lot more like them than his brothers.”

“Hey, aren't you two going to eat?” Ron asked. He had moved on to a pork chop and one of the many bowls of mashed potatoes.

“I suppose we should.” Hermione said. “Not too much, though. We don't want stomach aches later.”

Harry chuckled. “Oh, I know. Having too much food to eat is almost as bad as not having enough.”

Hermione blinked her eyes at his admission. “Harry, did... do you mean...”

“I really nice healer from St. Mungo's sent me breakfasts for a month that could feed three people.” Harry said and the conversations died down around him to listen. “I grew up in a muggle house and they didn't treat me well or feed me enough.”

By this point, the entire table was quiet and listened to him.

“Harry, how did...” Hermione started to ask.

“I sent a letter to the Ministry of Magic, once I found out they existed a month ago.” Harry said and everyone gasped. “When they showed up, they helped me a lot. I just wish I had known about being a wizard years ago. My life could have been so much better.”

“Oh, Harry.” Hermione said and took his hand, because she completely understood. She had only found out about it last year, herself. She had turned eleven on the nineteenth of September, which meant she had missed school registration last year and had to wait until this year to attend. She had a whole year to read about the magical world and had the same thoughts as Harry. Her life would have been so different had she known a long time ago.

“Hold on. You're one of the most famous people in the wizarding world and no one told you about it until a month ago?” Ron asked loudly and the entire Great Hall fell silent.

“That's not surprising, really. I didn't know my name was Harry until I started school when I was six.” Harry said, slightly angry. “No, wait. I was five. My birthday is in the summer now.”

“You don't even know your own birthday?!?” Ron asked, incredulously.

A lot of people had stopped eating and were staring at him. It was then that the castle ghosts came into the Great Hall and sound seemed to resume as people started talking again.

“AHH!” Hermione jerked and closed her eyes as she gripped Harry's hand tightly. “They're not real. They're not real!”

“Geez, they're just ghosts.” Ron said and turned to look at them. “I think that's the Griffindor ghost. The one with the ruffles around his neck.”

Harry turned his head and the ghost in question floated down and into the middle of the table of food, then proceeded to go from one end to the other where the first years were.

“Welcome to Hogwarts.” The ghost said. “My name is...”

“Get. Away. From. Us.” Harry said in a deadly voice and took out his wand.

“You!” The ghost looked at Harry angrily and loomed over him. “I have half a mind to report you to...”

“Depulso!” Harry said with such ferocity and concentration that the jet of white light slammed into the ghost's chest and sent him on a straight line from the tip of Harry's wand and up into, and through, the enchanted ceiling. In fact, the enchanted ceiling was pushed away from the jet of white light and left a hole about ten feet across.

“MISTER POTTER!” Professor McGonagall yelled as she shot to her feet. “How dare you assault...”

“I warned him to leave us alone.” Harry said. “He was scaring us.”

“Fifty points from Griffindor!” Minerva exclaimed and the entire hall of students gasped, especially the other Griffindor students. “I am warning you now, Mr. Potter. If you do that again...”

“You better take the points from me now, because every time I see a ghost, I'm going to do it.” Harry admitted.

“How dare you...” Minerva's face flushed red in anger.

“Now, now.” Albus Dumbledore stood when he finally regained his composure. Seeing Harry use such a powerful spell had shocked him. “There's no need to overreact.”

“Headmaster.” Minerva said and redirected her anger to him. “Are you questioning a Head of House about appropriate punishments?”

Albus let out a sigh. “No, Minerva. I am merely advising restraint.”

Minerva scowled a little, then composed herself and looked at Harry. “I am giving you a week's detention, Mr. Potter.”

Harry opened his mouth to respond and Hermione squeezed his hand.

“Don't make it worse.” Hermione whispered.

“What's detention like here?” Harry asked instead.

“It's the worst!” The twins said and pointed at a scraggly older man at the end of the head table.

“That's right, Misters Weasley.” Minerva said and then smiled. “Mr. Potter, you will be spending the evenings all week helping our custodian Mr. Filch clean the castle.”

Harry opened his mouth to ask if that was all and Hermione squeezed his hand again.

“Don't.” Hermione whispered and Harry closed his mouth. “Thank you.”

“Now that that's settled, everyone continue eating.” Albus said and everyone started eating again.

“It's cold.” Harry said and spit out the ice cold mashed potatoes.

“The ghosts do that.” Ron said and kept eating.

“He didn't pass my plate, though.” Harry said and pushed it away.

Ron just shrugged.

“I've got some great food in my trunk.” Harry whispered to Hermione and she nodded. He opened it discretely and took out several large boxes. “I've got turkey, boiled ham, scalloped potatoes, game hens, and even pots of boiled vegetables.”

“Blimey, Harry.” Hermione said as he swiped the other cold food out of the way and opened up the boxes. “Where did you get it all?”

“It's a long story.” Harry said. “Oh, and I meant to give you these on the train.” He took out a large box of cauldron cakes and gave them to her. “I'm sorry I forgot.”

“Th-thank you.” Hermione said, and the two of them enjoyed eating the still piping hot food that Harry had used preservation spells on. It didn't take long for several people to ask for some and then they were enjoying the new food, too.

The enchanted ceiling started to recover and moved to fill in the hole that Harry had made in it.

The Griffindor Tower ghost, Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, did not make another appearance at the feast.