LIGHTNOVELONLINE The Naughty Grind
Shoutout to Chrishenk, Prince Acheampong, MercerV12, Lawdan, DeoV, THE ONE ABOVE ALL THE LIVING TRIBUNAL, Steven Baldwin, Gkiller, and NSD for patron and subscribe star support!!
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Hentai Shinobi Rule 12: Never act like a young master and bet for your partner’s affection. Court them like a proper Harem Master, not a novice speedrunning for that green hat.
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Mito was numb. To think her handpicked talent for Kushina to rely on, perhaps even tame the Kyubi, would be so… Mito was confident there was a word for someone who religiously incorporated sexual relief within training. Kai was that word.
She always knew Kai was a creature of habit.
His pursuit of shinobi arts was relentless. He trained and trained.
Ordinarily, a motherly figurehead like Mito would be concerned if Kai would ever share interests with the opposite gender and spread his seed.
The key word here was—ordinarily.
Kai was extraordinary, and so were his circumstances. And… he had seeds in spare.
Mito wanted to say something about his recently picked habit of transforming her portrait into a blow doll and thoroughly coating its face. However, she noticed something peculiar.
Kai was training.
Even the idea of someone turning a masturbation session into a training session sounded ridiculous… but here she was, admitting it.
Indeed, Kai was training.
Kai changed Mito’s body structure every day. Sometimes, Mito was bustier than Tsunade, while she was outstandingly lean and muscular other times. But that wasn’t all. Kai changed her clothes as he jerked off.
He employed his transformation without the usual smokescreen. The changes Kai made were minute and detailed. Sometimes, the color of her irides shifted from black to red. Furthermore, Kai changed the color of a strand of her hair every few minutes.
The boy was practicing Transformation Jutsu!
This discovery left Mito speechless.
Kai’s routine included waking up, going to the academy, cooking for Mito, massaging her legs with the bottle of oil that also served other purposes, studying fuin matrices, retreating into his room, jerking off to Mito’s doppelganger until he ran out of cumshots and chakra, and then sharing a bath with Kushina.
Mito admitted she was worried about Kai and Kushina bathing together. However, the boy barely cared about Kushina.
So, Mito was now concerned about Kushina’s perception of a boy’s body. A boy Kai’s age usually did not possess such impressive… girth.
Ultimately, Mito decided against calling Kai out on his new habits. It wasn’t like Kai was breaking any laws. His recent habits also failed to cause any issues.
Embarrassing the boy would have been counterproductive. Didn’t she allow Tsunade to continue gambling since she kept up with her training? Didn’t Tsunade develop Iryo Ninjutsu despite her vices?
Sometimes, it was better to have some release than none. Sure. Kai was young. But Mito had witnessed younger geniuses during the warring era committing heinous crimes to feel ‘something.’ Additionally, it was harmless masturbation. Mito felt more flattered than anything.
Oh, and also numb.
To feel something…
Mito had to confront her current state of mind.
Mito sat straighter in the living room after feeling a familiar chakra signature. The stately Lady of the First Hokage and the recent subject of youthful fantasies smiled at her granddaughter. This smile concealed some annoyance. After all, Kai had changed after meeting Tsunade.
“Oh,” Tsunade smiled. “You shouldn’t have bothered with the formalities, Grandma. Isn’t your bedroom more comfortable?”
Mito reflected on how it once was. However, she’s been moving lately. She took rounds of the residence.
She also frequented the roof often, occupied with her thoughts.
“This is fine,” Mito answered. “I thought you wouldn’t show up after you broke up with your boyfriend because of me.”
Every Shinobi Village trained ‘that’ squad to seduce notable individuals to continue their bloodline and maintain the village’s dominance. Tsunade was aware of its existence and expected something similar. However, as Tsunade stated, she felt three years were enough for some honesty.
“Dan?” Tsunade sniffed proudly before slumping beside Mito. “Why would that bother me? That’s old news, Grandma.”
Tsunade couldn’t help but notice the distinct lack of deeper wrinkles on Mito’s hands, which the latter interlocked over her lap.
“What happened to your hands?” Tsunade frowned. “Are you well? You shouldn’t force yourself for me. I can… use the speech Orochimaru wrote.”
Mito rolled her eyes.
“It’s nothing. I was testing some jutsus I’d shelved after Hashirama’s passing.”
“Testing… Jutsu?” Tsunade gawked. “At your age?”
“Do you mean the age gap that allows me to pull you over my lap and smack your bottom red with your best friend—the bamboo stick?”
Tsunade involuntarily flinched, reliving several painful memories before wisely keeping her mouth shut.
Unlike the face of kindness and elegance the current Mito presented,… she was a firecracker worse than the current Red Hot-Blooded Habanero—Kushina Uzumaki—back in her days.
“The documents, Tsunade.” Mito sighed and instructed.
“Hmm. Oh, yeah.”
Tsunade unsealed a scroll on the table, releasing a folder for Mito to peruse.
Silence descended in the living room until Tsunade questioned.
“Didn’t you get annoyed and tell Sensei to stick it to where Lady Biwako won’t let him touch because of all the invitations for the council meetings?” Tsunade vividly recounted those days.
“What’s gotten into you to attend one this time?”
Mito didn’t look up from the folder.
“I’m bored.”
“Bored? Out of nowhere?”
“What can I say?” Mito grumbled. Recollection of ‘her’ face splattered with thick jets of seed annoyed her. “I’m bored. Do I require a better reason to help you?”
“How about something along the lines of you loving me?” Tsunade smirked.
“You?” Mito eyed Tsunade. “I would be seeing my grandson if you loved me. What? Can’t you drag one stubborn boy?”
The corner of Tsunade’s lips twitched before she sighed. “What can I say, Grandma? I told Nawaki to visit. He… He said you should apologize to him for hitting him with your bamboo stick.”
Mito nearly laughed. She would rather apologize to Kai for making him solicit her portrait and offer her face for his needs than bow down to Nawaki’s demands.
“As I told him before,” Mito snorted. “I’m a strict teacher. Nawaki couldn’t get a single fuin syllable correct.”
“I get that,” Tsunade shrugged. “You beat the hell out of me till I learned how to write those seals with both my hands.”
The blonde smirked. “It’s one of the reasons why I pursued Iryo Ninjutsu. Now I can beat others without leaving marks.”
Mito frowned. “I could have beaten you without leaving the marks. Those marks are the essence of discipline. It was there to remind you to either improve your Fuinjutsu or give up and stick to your talents.”
How should Tsunade explain how horrifying that was? But Uzumaki tended to be… a more violent bunch despite possessing talent in one of the most technical categories of Ninjutsu—Fuinjutsu.
“I don’t blame you, Grandma,” Tsunade consoled. “You were a product of your environment.”
Mito ignored those words. It wouldn’t do to discipline a grownup.
Mito continued reading, answering Tsunade’s queries without paying her attention.
“So? How many times have you disciplined Kai and Kushina?”
“Kushina? A few times. Kai? None.”
Tsunade’s eyes briefly widened.
“He has a better talent for Fuinjutsu?”
Mito paused before answering.
“He’s talented and never gave me a reason to discipline him. Did any of you cook for your lonely grandmother at his age?”
Tsunade worked her jaw. That was unfair.
“I mean, you didn’t either,” Tsunade retorted.
“Because I don’t know how to cook. That’s why I hired Old Jiten,” Mito hummed.
“You should learn how to cook. You said it. You’re bored.”
“Not that bored.”
Mito closed the folder before saying, “I can help your case. But it won’t work until almost all the Clan Heads are present. Inform your Sensei that I will join with my capacity as an elder. You should strongly imply this might be my last council meeting. So, I wish everyone’s presence.”
Mito couldn’t ordinarily demand something like this. However, some emotional manipulation is fair in their world. Then, Mito instructed Tsunade on several possibilities regarding how the meeting could be.
<<<>>>
*Poof*
“Ara~” the sweet voice sent a shudder down Mikoto’s spine as the Uchiha Princess looked at her doppelganger, bending in unusually tight clothes over a dazed boy. “Isn’t this balloon precious, little one?”
*Pop*
The balloon, alongside something within the boy, snapped at the wicked smirk on the beautiful dark-haired girl’s face.
*Swish* *Swish* *Swish*
‘Mikoto’ dodged the volley of blunt kunais and shurikens.
“Will you stop that?!” Mikoto snarled, chasing the boy. Kushina and Tsume followed, laughing loudly.
*Poof*
A smokescreen covered ‘Mikoto’ before she turned into another girl.
“Never, dattebane~!” An overly feminine ‘Kushina’ mewled as the redhead chasing after them suddenly growled. “Stop it, Kai-chan!”
“Keep going, Alpha!” Tsume grinned.
“As you want, dearest Beta,” ‘Kushina’ shrugged.
*Poof*
The trio of girls stopped as they failed to locate anyone.
“Hurr~ I’m right here~!”
Mikoto almost jumped out of her skin when she felt Kai suddenly tapping her neck and adopting a haunting tone.
“Where?!” Mikoto looked around as Tsume sniffed before looking confused.
“Uh… I can’t smell you, Alpha.”
*Yip* Kuromaru barked in agreement.
*Poof*
Kai appeared beside them and shrugged. “That’s because you girls look down on Transformation Jutsu.”
Mikoto blinked, forgetting her embarrassment of Kai bullying orphans after transforming into her.
“How did you do that, Kai-chan?” Mikoto questioned.
“Why should I tell you?” Kai pouted.
“Not even for me?” Kushina batted her eyelashes.
“Did something get in your eyes? What the fuck is wrong with your eyelids?” Kai frowned, leaving Kushina speechless.
“Fine!” Mikoto scoffed. She knew better than to entice Kai. He wasn’t even at the age where he cared about girls. After all, girls like Mikoto and Kushina matured earlier.
‘Hmph!’ She pouted. ‘We’ll see in a few years who is begging whom.’
“Let’s go,” Mikoto sighed. “I want you all to meet my father. Especially you.” Mikoto looked at Kai. A malicious smirk appeared on her lips as she led the group to the Uchiha compound.
Unlike the Senju, who spread across Konohagakure through several smaller families and clans, the Uchiha Clan was more contained. Like other Clans, the Uchiha Clan had its compound—housing internal markets and traditions not often shared outside its border. It also had secluded training grounds for the next generation of Uchiha devil spawns to spar.
Kai admitted judging an entire clan based on one member was wrong. But Mikoto was a devil. She persisted in calling him ‘Kai-chan’ despite his vengeance. Such stubbornness was devilish.
The entrance to the compound wasn’t extraordinary or anything. A few Uchiha clansmen loitered around, with one or two of them being the guards. They greeted Mikoto with a smile before she brought her friends further inside.
“Oh!” Kai’s gaze glinted the second he saw one fair-skinned dumpling separated from its pack, holding a small lion plushy. He could—
“Nope!” Mikoto grabbed his hand, pouting. “I won’t let you bully my distant cousins!”
“Just you wait until I learn the Clone Jutsu?” Kai shrugged.
“There is something wrong in your head, Kai-chan,” Kushina pouted as she walked with a careless posture. Her hands linked behind her back. “Sometimes you’re the sweetest. Then you’re just bad.”
“Sweet? Me?” Kai crinkled his eyes. “There’s something wrong in your head, Kushina.”
“Nuh-uh!” Kushina grinned.
Mikoto scoffed with a smirk. However, her smile faded once she reached home.
“Father is attending the council meeting? He had to attend the one time I want him to scare—” She coughed and peeked at Kai. Unbothered by her words, Kai looked around.
“You’ve got an awesome house, Mikoto,” Kai admired his classmate’s sweet crib. Mikoto pursed her lips before heaving. She could never understand Kai. Sometimes, he teased her relentlessly and found nice words the other times.
“I’ll invite you to my clan compound next time, Alpha!” Tsume declared with a competitive glint in her eyes. Mikoto looked at the girl, drained and defeated.
‘Why are you looking at me like I snatched Kuromaru from you?’
“Sweet,” Kai accepted the invitation. As they walked, Kai suddenly realized. “Huh. I know three Clan Princesses.”
“Did you hear that, Kuromaru? You’re a princess.”
‘That’s not what he meant.’ Mikoto and Kushina deadpanned.
‘Where is dad when you want him?’ The Uchiha pouted. ‘Bring the boy to the clan, he said. How dare the boy make fun of my princess. I’ll scare him straight, he promised.’ She huffed.
<<<>>>
The Senju and Uchiha’s buried hatchet led to a peaceful gathering. However, Konoha wasn’t built in a single day… metaphorically.
Literally?
Hashirama Senju created the forest around Konoha on the first day and created Konoha’s temporary infrastructure based on Tobirama Senju’s plans on the second day. However, Konoha needed additional resources to establish itself without being oppressed by the rest of the country. That’s when distant clans joined the village, banding together to form a militaristic civilization distinct from the general populace of the Land of Fire.
Nobody did that out of charity, though. Clans like Sarutobi, Shimura, Nara, Yamanaka, Akimichi, Inuzuka, and more needed some control for the welfare of their people. There were other clans, too. These clans were either small, weak, poor, or only had one or two surviving members.
The Council Meeting was not available to such clans. These clans had Hiden and were valuable to the Shinobi aspect of the village. However, the Council Meetings were more about the administration aspect of Konoha, which discussed costs and geopolitical activities of the other Shinobi Villages and whatnot. These were unimportant to other Clan Leaders, so they always sent proxies to attend the monthly meetings.
It was predictable that such meetings wouldn’t last more than 30 minutes. Lord Third wouldn’t waste his time on proxies. He would hear the general reports and distribute the scrolls needed to reach the Clan Heads.
Today was different.
The meeting at the end of June was attended by one of the four elders who rarely left her residence—Mito Uzumaki.
Yata hadn’t known that. Being the Uchiha’s current leader and, by default, the Konoha Military Police’s Commander, Yata was busy. Nonetheless, he agreed to Hiruzen’s subtle insistence on attending this meeting.
Thank Rikudo for that.
Yata wasn’t sure if other Clan Heads shared similar sentiments. The pale, dark-haired, bearded Uchiha Leader respected the woman because he knew why she was in Konoha. It was an open secret amongst a few Clan Leaders.
Yata knew the monster Mito contained.
Unlike the reports of other Jinchuriki losing control… Mito never let Konoha face such concerns. Her hold on the Kyubi was nothing short of admirable.
As for others…
Yata Uchiha’s gaze wandered around the long ‘U-shaped’ table with Hiruzen seated at its curve. The four elders had different areas to sit in. Aside from Lady Uzumaki, the three Elders were Hiruzen’s teammates and the graduates from the first batch of the Academy. These four have witnessed the Clan Heads grow into their current positions.
The other Clan Heads included Aburame, Nara, Akimichi, Yamanaka, Inuzuka, Hyuga, Shimura, Sarutobi, and the Senju.
Technically, the Senju only had two surviving members—Tsunade and Nawaki. However, exceptions were made for the eldest sibling since she contributed to Konoha’s welfare. Her generalization of several supporting ninjutsu under Iryo Ninjutsu was a profound subject. Other Clan Heads did not boast such accomplishments.
There were a few dismissive words against Tsunade’s contribution across the continent and even within Konoha. The talks of her not being the creator of healing ninjutsu meant ‘squat’ for Yata since she spent more than half her current life learning crucial seals and developing a study to teach several Healing Jutsus to others. The efficiency of Konoha Hospital shot sky-high.
Yata learned early in his life the mediocre hated the talented due to envy.
The Uchiha, as observant as he’d gotten after years of police work, noted how Hiruzen’s pipe was nowhere to be seen or smoked. There were more differences.
The Akimichi food aficionado hadn’t touched the pile of snacks he brought for the meeting.
The Yamanaka gigolo wasn’t passing coy comments every other breath.
The Nara looked sufficiently bothered. He must have dreamt of sleeping in the meeting.
The Inuzuka Matriarch did not have her feet crossed on the table.
The Hyuga asshole shifted in his seat.
The Aburame head… looked the same. The extended collar covered the lower part of his face, and his dark shades covered the rest.
The Shimura Clan Head glanced at his father, Elder Shimura.
Meanwhile, Enma Sarutobi appeared sufficiently unbothered. The youth’s relationship with his father, Lord Third, was rocky.
On the other hand, Tsunade Senju sat straight and looked invigored for some strange reason.
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Alternate Title: Mito Is Shooketh; Mito Can’t Look At Cream Without Thinking Of Kai *Also Mito: Just Bake a Creamy Pie, Kai*; Mito’s Moving; Corruption; The Masturbation Training; What is Kai Cooking?; Mito: Either Kai Becomes a Harem-Loving Pervert… Or a Stupid Genocidal Maniac…; Naruto World Really Has No Inbetween; Mito Is Numb By The Volume of Cum On ‘Her’ Face; The Document; Mito’s Hands Are Rated E For Everyone; The Mythical Bamboo Stick; Mito Is Asian Through And Through; Mito: Imma Just Get Jizzed On Face Than Apologize *Angry Kai: I See This As An Absolute Win*; Mito Knew The Best Way To Apologize Since The Beginning; The Meeting; Kai Awakening Things Within Little Boys; Making Mikoto Famous; The Uchiha Compound; Mikoto’s Plan Failed; Tsume: Challenge Accepted; The Annoyed Mikoto; The Construction of Konoha; Hashirama Really Cooked; The Shift in Meeting; Mito’s Presence; Lost Wrinkles?; What is Mito Doing?; Cum-Training; The Ero Shinobi
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