RE: Filthy Gamer In Narutoverse

Hentai Shinobi Rule 5: Flat is justice; Medium is premium; Oppai is truth.

***

Kushina frowned and left the faculty room with an unsatisfied expression. What was that about Kai being a serious student? Did Icha-sensei think she wasn’t serious? How rude and judgmental! Kushina didn’t want to be bullied. Ruriko and others taught that snitches get stitches and bullies get lefts and rights! But a smile appeared on Kushina’s lips once she recalled Kai joining her.

She knew.

She knew it in her bones. Kai-chan was too sweet to be angry at her about anything! Didn’t he beat others for her? She got a friend in him, and the redhead was satisfied… with her delusions. Still, Kushina’s steps paused as she looked sideways, noticing a dark-haired girl through the open window sitting alone near the tree by the academy’s gate beside a swing.

Why… did the academy have a swing? And that, too, in such poor condition. Still, Kushina smelled an opportunity!

This girl was in the same class as her but was one of the rare few who didn’t laugh. Hmm, there was also the blonde, blue-eyed boy. But Kushina didn’t like how the boy had been curiously eyeing Kai-chan since the beginning.

Focusing on the current objective, Kushina casually skipped out the window before curiously approaching the girl sitting on the ground under the tree’s shade.

Kushina looked prominent as the dark-haired girl effortlessly located the former on the vast school grounds.

“Um… hi,” Kushina awkwardly began, touching the nearest lock of her hair. “I’m—”

“Kushina, I remember,” the dark-haired girl smiled. “I’m Mikoto, an Uchiha. Pleased to meet you.”

Kushina blinked before pointing out, “Is the other one your brother?”

Mikoto suppressed a smirk and shook her head. “Hiruna-san is my distant cousin. He started from the academy while my father taught me everything until this year and sent me to conclude my graduation.”

Kushina sat beside Mikoto, amazed.

“Is he your betrothed?”

Mikoto almost choked on her fried rice before coughing, “What?”

“Don’t cousins marry within the clan? Grandpa Ruuji said my biological grandparents were siblings. I heard the Uchiha Clan also marry within.”

Mikoto smiled wryly. “It’s not always true. Ehm. Well, the point is—I’m not engaged to anyone.” She sniffed proudly and turned the tip of her nose high.

“Actually… I’m the clan’s princess. I can have some leeway about it.”

“A princess?!” Kushina gaped before grinning. “Yay! Same!”

“Eh?” Mikoto’s expression froze. “You are?”

“Yep,” Kushina shrugged. “They choose royalty differently in Uzu. I’m this generation’s princess. Granny Mito was the princess from the one generation before my predecessor.”

“Does the Uzumaki Clan get special perks for royalties?” Mikoto inquired while eating. Feeling the girl’s stare on her bento, Mikoto gracefully offered the redhead her spare spoon.

“R-really? For me?” Kushina grinned before eating it. “Hmm~! Shoo, ghood! Ah, you were asking about perks. We don’t have any. The quality of life was too outstanding in Uzu to care about those things.”

Mikoto’s lips twitched. Didn’t Kushina mean Konoha was backward in her eyes?

Still, they shared food as Mikoto smiled. “I saw how your helper attracted all the attention during the introductions. Did he travel with you from your home country?”

Kushina shook her head.

“Kai-chan? He was Granny’s helper… no, he still is. Kai-chan isn’t a servant, but Granny teases him by calling him a maid because he’s cute and fluffy. He helped me get used to life here.”

“So, he’s your friend,” Mikoto concluded.

“Yep,” the redhead grinned. “Just like you!”

“Heh, how admirable,” Mikoto smiled and moved her spoon… hmm? Why didn’t she feel any rice? Frowning, Mikoto looked at her bento, only to find it devoid of a single grain of rice or shrimp! Aghast, Mikoto looked at Kushina indignantly.

“You ate it all?!”

Suddenly feeling guilty, Kushina lowered her head. “Sorry. Um, let’s share my bento—”

“And you haven’t even opened your bento?” Mikoto rolled her eyes. “I apologize for my rude behavior.” She sighed. “I… cooked it myself. I hope you like it.”

“Loved it!” Kushina cheekily smirked before offering. “Should I go and get my bento?”

“Let’s,” Mikoto sighed with a smile. “I’m still famished. We could ask your friend… Kai-chan, too.”

Kushina tilted her head before pouting, “He’s still hearing things from Icha-Sensei.”

“About what?” Mikoto inquired.

“We beat a boy,” Kushina ducked from Uchiha’s gaze before looking at her after a few moments of silence.

Mikoto looked distraught.

“Of course!” the fair-skinned girl grumbled. “Something happens when I’m not in the class. It’s always like this!”

<<<>>>

“Listen Up!” Old Jiten barked. “You follow whatever I say. Understood?”

Kai nodded at the old cook. Jiten was one of the most experienced cooks in Konoha, having the honor of preparing meals for the Legendary First Hokage and his family on several occasions. Being almost 80 years young, the wrinkled slab of experience claimed a ‘robust’ frame, a shiny bald head, and scarred fingers.

[Daily Quest: Chef Please

Summary: As per your request, now you must prepare daily meals for yourself and help your trainer cook for Mito Uzumaki.

Rewards: 1 SP

Failure: Possibility of giving Mito Uzumaki a stroke from food poisoning.]

Kai wore his apron and settled near the counter to cut vegetables as Jiten taught—chopped onions, matchstick carrots, peeled eggplants, etc.

Kai didn’t take long to unlock another skill within the Support Skill Tree.

[Novice Cook (E) (1/10): In the words of every Uchiha burn victim—let him cook. It’s an information-granting skill that offers precise methods of identifying, processing, and cooking various fruits and vegetables. It also offers several easy recipes to cook.

Next Level: Cook 0/50 Dishes Or 1 SP.

Skill Tree Evolution: Noble Cook (D) (0/25)]

[Noble Cook (D) (0/25) (Locked)

Unlocking Conditions: 2 SP, Mastered Skill: Novice Cook (E)]

[Earned 1 SP]

‘Oh, this is the first time I got a condition to master the previous skill before unlocking the next one,’ Kai’s gaze glimmered as he carefully cut the vegetables. An ordinary man would consider giving the grind and using P2W means to master this skill.

Pathetic.

Kai wouldn’t. He loved trying new things, and cooking absolute bangers hurt nobody.

As the skill stated—Let me cook.

<<<>>>

After an eventful day of chopping vegetables and purchasing a few cloaks with different prints, Kai returned to his room.

While several clan shinobi were in the class and had enough experience in the shinobi way, the academy needed to train the civilians. All other jutsu in the Academy Skill Tree was taught to last year's students who were ready to graduate, aside from the [Leaf Training Exercise] and [Cloak of Invisibility.] Kai decided to practice the latter alone because he stood to learn almost all the other skills in due time.

Rummaging several square pieces of clothing, Kai picked a cream-colored sheet matching his bedroom’s walls.

There was no way Kai would spend an SP on a technique so effortlessly unlocked.

He stood against the wall, hooking his toes and finger around the latches sewed into the corners before stretching his arms and legs in an ‘X.’ It took some time, but—

[Cloak of Invisibility (E) (1/5): You master the art of standing so still that you become invisible—with a cloak covering you.

Next Level: Spend 3/60 minutes or 1 SP.]

[Earned 1 SP]

Kai smiled since he knew how to spend his night—cloak of invisibility and then leaf sticking exercise to expend his chakra before recovering it using meditation.

<<<>>>

Kai spent some time getting to know others in his class. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anyone from the Nara Clan. If the word was to be believed, then the Nara-boy, alongside his Yamanaka and Akimichi teammates, graduated before this term began. Another notable graduate from the previous term was Nawaki Senju. Among the two known siblings, Kai knew Nawaki’s bombshell of a sister since she often visited Mito. What can Kai think but feel the urge to meet the woman for himself since his previous host certainly did not have many thoughts after meeting with thought… arousing kunoichi.

Curses upon the village missions that kept such a diligent granddaughter from meeting her grandmother!

There was also this cool civilian kid, Minato Namikaze. Like several other ‘small’ clans, the Namikaze family shared a history with the once extensive Senju Clan before the inception of Konohagakure. Other notable ‘small’ names include the Kato Family, Hatake Clan, and many more. Minato was only a civilian due to the last of his relatives—his parents—dying in a mission. But despite his shinobi heritage, Minato was one of the more chill classmates.

At least he was more chill than Kushina… and—how much it seethed Kai to let the redhead associate with that other devil— her friend.

An Uchiha.

Kai’s lips thinned whenever that name came to his lips.

“Alright, class! We spent a few months with the theories. It’s time we give your training more time for the remainder of the year!” Icha-Sensei concluded the first week of May. It was true. All the students have been doing since they entered the academy was playing around or learning math, geography, and history.

The class filters into the Academy Training Ground that occupied the entrance as Icha began instructing the most basic of taijutsu before informing the class that they would start their P.E. tomorrow morning.

Oh, goodie!

Grind!

Kai looked forward to other training, including the [Rope Escape Technique]—something Icha encouraged the class not to try to practice alone since the students could accidentally dislocate the wrong joint or something similar. The risks were the same if the students practiced in the academy. However, Icha could provide swift medical aid due to his experience.

And then Kai was asked to step up against his sparring partner to practice against the… devil.

Kushina may as well be the sweetest angel before this giggling force.

Curses! When will he hit one of his several chakra puberty and be swole as any regular 13-year-old man-boy genin?! Why did he have to look short compared to this… Uchiha.

Uh, it hurt Kai’s soul to utter this name.

Uchiha may be kind, but this woman ruined any impression the clan could make on his supple self.

“Go easy on me, Kai-chan~!” Mikoto tied her black hair into a bun as she squinted her onyx eyes. She smirked playfully, knowing how Kai reacted to the word ‘Chan.’

“No,” Kai replied as he got into position. Yes, this girl would rock his shit in this practice. She was faster, stronger, and taller. She had better reach and more experience in the shinobi way since her Clan Leader of a father would have drilled enough fighting techniques into his precious princess.

HOWEVER!

<<<>>>

Mikoto’s expression changed as she swiftly fell back, avoiding the sharp heel that almost struck her chin before twisting around and dodging another punch. How? Her doubt was shared by others.

How?

Mikoto ducked and tried striking the notably shorter boy’s torso, only for him to propel himself by pushing both his palms against her lean ankle. He flips midair before slamming into Mikoto’s chest and putting her down, his knees locked against her neck while she was inches from getting smothered by the balls.

But Mikoto cared little for it as her opponent allowed a Cheshire grin on his face. His bent legs accurately locked her hands against the back of his thighs as he sat with arms crossed.

Kai’s smirk widened as he glanced at Kushina and others watching him in shock.

“Ah,” he shook his head. “This is the result after I went easy on you, Mikoto-chan.”

As he promptly stood up, his words snapped the girl out of her stupor.

“Wait!” Mikoto panicked. “I wasn’t—”

“Form the seal of reconciliation!” Icha’s words ended the spar as Kai grinned and extended his hand. His index and middle finger rolled out as Mikoto pouted and shook it with her index and middle finger.

“How did you do that?” She questioned once they got to the side.

“Whatever do you mean, Uchiha-chan?”

Ah, relief.

It spread through his core and into his veins!

Mikoto rolled her eyes.

“How did you learn to fight like that, Kai-chan?”

Kai’s expression faltered before he scoffed. “It was Basic Academy Taijutsu.”

“Well,” Mikoto hesitated. “It was.”

But how did Kai fight like a damn animal using a shinobi’s technique? Mikoto pouted again, constantly tossing annoyed stares at the boy. She almost pinched Kai’s cheek in retribution, but she knew better. Kushina could do it because she lacked tact and lived with the boy. Mikoto doing the same without permission would be rude. As her father taught—do unto others as you would have them do unto you…

Hmm, did she mind Kai mauling her cheeks?

Mikoto considered life's dilemmas as Kai felt a gentle force entering his pores and traveling through his body. He resisted the urge to groan in pleasure as he felt… better.

Stronger.

His skills had a way to grow his stats. Such bonuses were limited, but the growth in this fashion was several times more effective than regular status farming.

And it took a week, but he mastered the taijutsu skill.

[Konoha Basic Taijutsu (E) (10/10): The staple for any aspiring Konoha Shinobi. Increases the user’s knowledge about taijutsu basics and adds one physique stat at every level {If Physique<50}.

Skill Tree Evolution: Leaf Snapping Fist (C) (0/15)]

[Leaf Snapping Fist (C) (0/15) (Locked)

Unlocking Conditions: 5 Skill Points, 150 Physique, 150 Chakra.]

This basic taijutsu was not the only reason he could kick Mikoto’s ass.

[Dynamic Footwork (E) (10/10): The ways of dexterous life. Increases user’s flexibility and maneuverability. Increases the physique stat at every level {If Physique<50}.

Skill Tree Evolution: Shinobi Acrobatics (D) (0/15)]

[Shinobi Acrobatics (D) (0/15) (Locked)

Unlocking Conditions: 2 SP, 100 Physique, 50 Perception.]

Kai made exhaustive use of this week-long opportunity to grind two more skills to completion since they complemented each other. Icha-Sensei would also move on to other topics once he drills the basic instincts for the technique into everyone.

Sure, Kai could fuck up his schedule and rush to learn other skills in the skill tree…

But why would he?

His life was on a delicate balance of SP and Stat farming. Skills were crucial, but they weren’t everything. There was a reason why several skills were locked behind the Stat requirement. It was Kai’s trait’s humble way of informing—Bitch, please! Ya, weak. Return after a solid grind!

“Kai-chan,” Mikoto poked his cheeks as he ignored her.

“Are you ignoring me?”

Kai pulled the status window.

[Name: Kai

Age: 8

Title: Konoha Student

Gamer Traits: Skill Tree; Sleepless Gamer

Skill Points: 59→93

Chakra: 10→28/1000 (1/hr)

Physique: 13→37/1000

Mental: 9→13/1000

Perception: 30→36/1000

Chakra Control: 10%

Skills:

Titles:]

“May I pinch your cheeks?”

Kai snapped out of his thoughts.

The fuck?

Kushina learned about consent?

He frowned and looked to his right. Ah, it was Mikoto.

“No,” Kai deadpanned. Surely…

Undoubtedly, his body will grow after reaching a milestone, right? Maybe 50 points in physique ought to do that?

After all, civilians capped their stats at ten points across the board. He suspected genins to be anywhere around 100-120 points. But the craziest thing about these stats was Kai realizing that [Chakra] wasn’t only dependent on his [Physique] and [Mental] and could be trained by constant expenditure and recovery.

More ridiculous was that such an increase in chakra positively impacted the other three status categories.

‘The books in the academy either lied about chakra solely being a mix of physical and spiritual energy… or chakra has more mysteries to be explored.’

“But you let Kushina do whatever she likes,” Mikoto protested with a frown.

“And?” Kai blinked. Wait. Why did he let Kushina do whatever she wanted?

Because of the continuing mission—

[Clan Quest: A Tail

Summary: Appreciative of your talent and growth, Mito expects you to help make her grand-niece settle in Konoha and feel at home.

Rewards: New Title

Failure: 80% chance of your career only involving rubbing Mito Uzumaki’s feet until one of you dies.]

He couldn’t ignore a new title. But Kai wondered what Kushina needed to feel settled since she was already comfortable.

Mikoto puckered her lips before snorting. She turned her face to the other side and exaggeratedly crossed her arms. Kai gave her a look before glancing at a more fascinating entity.

He observed Minato’s and Dekai’s sparring session as the agile blonde had techniques no worse than Kai's. He wanted to spar with Minato. But Icha-Sensei had yet to put them together. Kai would usually be put against Mikoto or the other Uchiha, Hiruna.

Kai inadvertently looked at the dark-haired youth. Hiruna was glaring in their direction.

“Can’t you sit elsewhere?” Kai groaned into his hands as Mikoto blinked. “Why?”

“Your cousin keeps sending these nasty stares. Your clan will be at my throat if I fill his underwear with itching powder,” Kai sighed as Mikoto fell speechless before scoffing a giggle.

“I could think about it if you let me pinch your cheeks.”

“Just because Kushina does it?” Kai rolled his eyes. “Kushina and I also share a bath. Are you going to do the same?”

Mikoto blinked before shrugging. “Why not?”

And then it hit Kai…

He wasn’t even being perceived as a general male…

He wanted to be angry…

But one look at his hands drove the point he wasn’t fooling anybody.

“May I?” Mikoto inquired again. Kai glanced at her before stating calmly. “No.”

Mikoto’s shoulders slumped.

Great, Hiruna looked further angered.

Fuck beautiful chicks and their fanboys. Kai just wanted the grind!

“Huff!” Kushina soon sat beside Kai. She glared at the distant brown-haired boy who continued calling her a tomato and crossed her arms. “I can’t beat him in front of Sensei. Tch. He only chooses this time to call me names. What should we do, Kai-chan? Should we shave his hair?”

Kai felt defeated. He’d hoped Kushina had some sense about things, but… she didn’t.

“He likes you, Kushina,” Kai rolled his eyes as Kushina’s expression stiffened.

“What?” she looked at the boy as Mikoto shared similar intrigue.

“Ain’t it obvious?” Kai wanted to spar with Minato so bad. The way he performed those swift jabs and those flips before kicking others—immaculate.

“He’s acting out because you’re cute. Every guy is like that.”

Kushina’s eyes widened as she stuttered. “R-really? Even you?”

“Duh?” Kai shrugged. “Cute stuff is cute stuff. Why would I sugarcoat anything? You and Mikoto are just annoying that way—”

“Hehe~!” Kushina instantly grabbed Kai’s cheeks, mauling them. Surprising Kai, even Mikoto invaded his privacy, ruffling his hair and pinching the tip of his nose. Agh! Damn, these Uchiha!

“I told you, right? Kai’s fluffy, dattebane!” Kushina grinned at Mikoto. And for once, Mikoto understood every emotion behind Kushina as she returned a similar grin.

‘Great…’ Kai observed others, and most boys were… livid. ‘But what’s with these two? Was it something I said?’

Others might misunderstand Kai’s inaction as giving up. However, he was merely planning his retaliation. It would be the sweetest once enacted.

<<<>>>

It was another afternoon, another academy day. After the first week of taijutsu training, Icha-Sensei allowed others to spar with whomever they wished. He only tested the students’ skills against each other every other day. Meanwhile, their routine involved kunai/shuriken throwing practices and physical exercises. Icha-Sensei left the chakra-utilizing Jutsu for the last and delved into topics like trap-making art, rope escape technique, and genjutsu release technique.

Instantly mastering all these subjects was impossible for Kai without his SP. However, all this was the curriculum for the year. He didn’t have to rush anything and could take it easy.

But this afternoon was unforgettable.

It wasn’t the sunniest day. Kushina did not suddenly decide against molesting his cheeks. Mikoto did not hit her head against a rock.

No.

But it was extraordinary nonetheless.

“Um, Kai-san?” The respect in his voice and the ‘San’ brought utter joy to Kai’s being. His eyes lit up as he waited for those perfect words from the blonde’s handsome lips. “Would you like to spar with me?”

‘Yes! I—’

“We promised to spar with Mikoto!” The devil arrived. It was a union blessed by fate, ruined by a tomato. Kushina stood with her nose pointed high and spoke with a tone that left no room for refusal before leaving.

Minato winced at her attitude and looked downcast.

‘No! Don’t look like that. I’m here.’

Kai stayed.

Of course, he did.

Kushina did not dictate his life. Minato also noticed the unmoving Kai; his expression turned pleasant, and he smiled back at Kai.

Genii recognized each other, and they wanted a piece of one another.

“I said—” Kushina pouted, grabbing Kai’s wrists. Damn. For all his strength, Kai was never a match against Kushina’s raw power. “WE are training with Mikoto!”

Words would be useless here as Kai allowed himself to get dragged away. It was fine. He tolerated Kushina… but vowed to get back at her and Mikoto for all their assaults!

Still, Kai and Minato looked at each other with similar frustrations.

Maybe… another day—the boys consoled themselves.

<<<>>>

Kai appreciated Teuchi’s ramen more than usual once he began cooking alongside Old Jiten. His progress in [Novice Cook] was slow but fruitful. So, he gratefully accepted the bowl of ramen before digging in.

His body sported various injuries. But Mikoto looked worse. Only Kushina ate without care, and there was no mark on her exposed skin.

Ichiraku Ramen was opened recently by a teen couple—Teuchi and Asame. It swiftly garnered Kushina’s interest before she became a regular.

The best part about the stall was Teuchi being fun to chat with.

“Hah,” the teen grinned with his characteristic squinted eyes. “Got a beating of your life, Kai-kun?”

“I was ganged on,” Kai smirked. “They couldn’t have handled me otherwise.”

Asame giggled. “Here, Kushina-chan. Enjoy.” She placed the seventh ramen bowl for Kushina as the redhead grinned with a happy flush on her cheeks.

“Thanks, dattebane!”

“Well, eat up,” Teuchi cleaned the counter. “I heard other students from your class complain about you three being top of the class. Oh, and that boy Minato-kun. You kids need to eat a lot to grow.”

“Especially Kai-chan,” Mikoto giggled.

“I’ll turn out fine,” Kai scoffed. “It’s just a phase. Worry about yourself.”

“Why would I?” Mikoto tilted her head. “Remember? You said Kushina and I were pretty.” She tried teasing the youth. It should have worked. But Mikoto learned long ago Kai was immune to shame.

“I said cute,” he scoffed before drinking from the bowl. “Only one woman is what every man seeks. She is the peak kunoichi specimen. None grew to compare to her in her generation or the next!”

Mikoto and Kushina paused. They never saw Kai speaking about other women… with such ardor, too.

“Oh?” Asame’s gaze twinkled. “I know who you’re talking about. Tsk, tsk. Kai-chan’s a perv~!”

“Says the teen couple,” Kai pouted. He didn’t need a byakugan to see what the couple did behind closed doors.

“It’s~!” Asame looked at Teuchi, and they shared a look. Teuchi completed his lover’s sentence. “Love!”

Kai almost threw up. But the Ramen was too good to be ruined.

“So?” Kushina’s intense gaze lingered on Kai. “Who’re you talking about?”

“Huh? I thought it was apparent. Tsunade,” he grinned. “You haven’t met her yet, right? She occasionally visits Mistress Mito.”

“Hmph,” Mikoto snorted. “I didn’t know you were perverted, Kai-chan. To think I let you beat me in our spar.”

“You let me?” Kai sneered. “Not that I care.” He shrugged.

Mikoto’s lips hung in astonishment as a flicker of panic entered Kushina’s gaze.

“W-what does Tsunade look like? Granny talked about her… but I never asked how she looked.”

“Oh,” Kai smiled for once. Yep. Tsunade is the kind of woman he would let his cheeks get mauled by—upper and lower. However, his expression only made the two girls scowl. Meanwhile, he sighed and shook his head. “She’s a drunk. One of her best qualities, if you ask me.”

“I will tell Granny about you perving on her granddaughter!”

“What?” Kai’s eyes widened. “You were the one singing—snitches get stitches, bullies get lefts and rights!”

Kushina snorted, puffing her round cheeks. “It’s not snitching when you bring someone to the right path.”

“I’ll shove the right path down your throat! If you tell Mistress Mito about anything… I’ll stop washing your back.”

“Y-you dare!”

“You guys bathe together?” Mikoto felt dumbstruck. She hadn’t believed Kai before and thought he was joking about bathing with Kushina.

Kai and Kushina glanced at the Uchiha.

“Well, yeah?” Kai shrugged. “Saves water and time.” It wasn’t like he felt weird with Kushina. She was a kid. Who even thinks about that when bathing together?

“Hmm.” Kushina nodded. “Kai-chan also washes my hair.”

“You need to learn how to do that,” Kai shook his head.

“But it’s fun together~!” Kushina grinned.

‘No… maybe?’ Mikoto gaped.

***

Alternate Title: Kai Being The Poster Boy; Kushina: Ain’t My Kai Fluffy?; The Uchiha; Kushina: Incest? Yeah, I Heard of It; Kushina Came From Uzu of Alabama; Kushina’s Grandparents: Aye, Bro/Sis, Looking Flamin’ Tonight; Mikoto Misses The Academy For One Day: Breaking News! Madara Revived And Became Konoha Academy’s Teacher; The New Power Trio; Kai’s Nightmare: Chan; Let Him Cook; The Novice Cook; Taijutsu Expert; Grind Don’t Stop; Kai Boosts Through The Stats; Mysterious Chakra; Kai Never Seen Such Bullshit Before; Tobirama Is Pleased; Kai About To Take Revenge On The Uchiha By Taking Their Princess—Yoink; Kai *In Future*: Damn. Cheeks ARE Soft; The Torned Boys; Geniuses Huddle Together; Kai and Minato: The Bromance of the Centure *Hashirama and Madara: Ehm*; Forget Kushina. Naruto Ain’t Gonna Be Born Because of Kai and Minato; One Week Training Montage; Mikoto’s Adversary: Balls; Kai Is Just a Kushina-Certified Plush; Ichiraku Ramen; The Trio; Kai: Hey, You’re Pretty Cute *Also Kai: You Donkey Pieces of Shit*; Kai Is The New Ramsey; The Unintentional Rizz; Poor Kai… He Knows Horni, But Not Wholesome Fluff *Kushina: I Can Fix Him*; Snitches Get Stitches *Also Kushina: Snitches*; Mikoto and Kushina When Seeing Tsunade: Is That a Health Bar *Cue Souls OST*

***

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