LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 58 - All my fault?
“…Bai Yu?”
Hearing Bai Yu’s words, WuYue froze for a moment. When she snapped out of it and looked up at her, she saw Bai Yu’s determined expression.
“Yeah! Just tell me! You guys not in a position to talk right now, can you? So let me be the one to convey it for you! No matter what, as long as you speak, you’ll be able to understand each other…”
“At that time, making up with each other won’t be a problem!”
“But…”
“……”
Looking at Bai Yu’s resolute face, the way she seemed so determined to help, WuYue found herself at a loss for words.
Those words, those things—she wasn’t sure if she should say them out.
After all, everything… was her own doing, her own fault. If she were to say those things now, it would be really…
It would be really…
“……”
“Okay, I’ll say it.”
After hesitating for a long while, WuYue finally made up her mind.
If she didn’t explain her situation clearly now, there might never be another chance.
She had already prepared herself for the possibility of her relationship with YouYu remaining distant like this, but she still wanted to avoid it if she could.
So, right here, she would speak the words she truly wanted to say.
No matter how YouYu reacted after learning about her situation, no matter if the outcome was a failure or a success…
At the very least, saying it out loud would clear her mind.
But before that…
“I’m sorry, Bai Yu.”
WuYue gently hugged Bai Yu for a moment as she spoke, then let go, a look of guilt crossing her face.
“……Why are you apologizing to me?”
To Bai Yu, WuYue’s actions were baffling. What could WuYue have possibly done to feel sorry for her? Why the apology?
It felt… a bit strange, really.
“…Because what I’m about to say might, in some way… involve you, Bai Yu.”
“Those words… I know they might hurt you.”
“…So, I wanted to apologize in advance.”
WuYue straightforwardly explained her reason for apologizing.
“……”
Bai Yu fell silent for a moment after hearing this, then shook her head and said:
“No… it’s fine, I don’t think you’ll say anything that would hurt me. Just go ahead and speak.”
Was she planning to vent her emotions at her, or something like that? That must be it, right? It didn’t matter; she had already mentally prepared herself for it.
Besides… she had treated both her and YouYu like this before as well, so if it was just this, she could consider it even and not hold a grudge.
“……Alright, then I’ll say it.”
After hearing Bai Yu’s response, WuYue nodded and slowly began to speak:
“Actually… the reason behind my argument with YouYu is all because of this… strange feeling inside me.”
“Before, I didn’t understand what this strange feeling was. But once I understood it… I couldn’t bring myself to accept it.”
At this point, WuYue glanced at Bai Yu, who was frowning slightly, seemingly lost in thought, and then sighed.
After taking a sip of water, she continued:
“That strange feeling… it only started to show itself when you first appeared.”
“At that time, I hadn’t yet realized what that feeling truly was.”
“…It’s related to me?”
“Well… it all started when I met you for the first time! We had a huge argument, I was really angry, and then I went back and told YouYu about how I fought with you.”
“And then…”
As WuYue spoke, her voice grew lower.
“And then, when YouYu found out that I had argued with you, he asked me—”
“‘How should us change the you back then?'”
“He meant, how could he make you join us.”
“……”
“When I heard him ask that question, that strange feeling inside me erupted for the first time.”
“I questioned him, asking why he needed to change you, Bai Yu. Was it really necessary? Why did he need another magical girl? Wasn’t I enough?”
“…At that time, because of that strange emotion, I completely lost control of myself, just like during this recent conflict.”
“If the argument hadn’t been less intense back then, there’s no way I would have calmed down…”
“……”
Listening to WuYue, Bai Yu felt a faint unease creeping into her heart for reasons she couldn’t quite pinpoint.
But… in order to resolve the conflict between WuYue and YouYu, she chose to keep listening.
“I originally thought that I was just upset because YouYu didn’t seem to care about me, but instead, he was more concerned about some stranger he barely knew.”
“But… later events made me realize that it wasn’t like that at all…”
As she spoke, WuYue turned and met Bai Yu’s eyes, which were trying to appear firm.
“Because… the reason I got so upset, it might not have been for that reason at all.”
“……”
“Bai Yu, do you know?”
“Ever since YouYu, you, and I truly became companions, I’ve been so happy, because I gained a trustworthy magical girl companion to fight alongside me, and YouYu no longer had to worry so much about my safety.”
“But…”
Taking a deep breath, WuYue resolved to reveal the core of her problem here and now.
“Even though iIt was the first time… I had someone I liked, someone I could fight alongside as a magical girl.”
“And yet, I don’t know why, but after that, I couldn’t seem to stay happy.”
“Every time I saw him talking to you, every time I saw the two of you smiling together, sharing words I couldn’t understand…”
“When it was just the two of you laughing together… and I could only watch from a distance.”
“I always wondered, why did my heart… feel so blocked up?”
“Why did I always feel this urge to ‘snatch’ YouYu back for myself?”
“Back then, I didn’t understand it… I kept trying to hold myself back, to stop myself from doing something like that.”
“But no matter how much I tried to suppress that strange feeling inside me…”
“I still couldn’t do it.”
“……”
“So, last week, I asked YouYu for that answer, hoping he’d give me the response I wanted.”
“He… didn’t give me the answer I wanted.”
WuYue let out a self-deprecating laugh as she spoke.
“Back then… when I heard his response, I could no longer hold back that feeling inside me… it surged forth.”
“So, I told YouYu… that in order to ‘protect’ you, I wanted to keep you locked away at ‘home’ forever. And when he refused me again, I even… considered using my powers to do it.”
After she said this, WuYue fell silent for a long time, and Bai Yu remained quiet as well, maintaining the silence.
Finally, WuYue continued:
“So… after going through this, no matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, I had to face the truth…”
“That feeling was jealousy.”
“I was jealous of you, being able to laugh so freely with YouYu.”
That was why she did that?
Bai Yu’s mood sank to the bottom.
So, the reason things turned out this way between them…
“Was it all… my fault?”
Bai Yu muttered in a trembling voice.