LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 95 - The Birds and the Bees
Chapter 95
The Birds and the Bees
Li Yundong stared at his laptop screen: about 2255000 search results for “Zhengyi” in 0.22 seconds.
He clicked into the first article titled “Zhengyi Taoism.”
Most of the article was about the history of this so-called Zhengyi Toaist School: Taoist movement in the Tang Dynasty; founded by Zhang Daoling, the first Celestial Master; canonized by Emperor Xuanzong.
Something made Li Yundong stop scrolling.
Wait…Mount Longhu? Didn’t the girl mention that name just now? Li Yundong clicked on the term and was redirected to another page.
Mount Longhu. Located in Jiangxi, China. One of the birthplaces of Taoism. Temples built on the mountainside. Claimed to be the spot where Zhao Daoling, the founder of Zhengyi Taoist school, united with the Tao. Where temple of the Zhengyi Taoist school was located… blah blah blah.
Okay. So this Zhengyi thingy seemed legit.
Li Yundong stared at the screen for a moment. Then, he opened a new tab and typed “Linggong Sect, Zhenren Wang” into the search bar. He hit the enter key and then waited.
112600 results in 0.53 seconds.
He started clicking and scrolling.
Surprisingly, none of the search results for “Zhenren Wang” had anything to do with Taoism. There wasn’t even a single mention of Linggong Sect. Li Yundong shook his head. Maybe that girl is cuckoo after all… Li Yundong sighed and put his laptop on the cushion beside him. He stood up from the couch and glanced towards Su Chan’s room. The door was still closed. She had been in there ever since their heated, “I wanna rip your clothes off and take you to bed” make-out session, which ended fifteen minutes ago when that cuckoo cockblocker interrupted them. Shit… Maybe I pushed her too far… But dammit, she seemed so into it earlier! She kissed him back and then…
And then she said no.
Okay, yeah. This was his fault. He should’ve kept it in his f*cking pants. He did promise himself that he would work hard and become a man worthy of her affections first before they…
Don’t even go there, you idiot.
Li Yundong sighed and carded his hands through his hair. He padded over to Su Chan’s room and knocked on the door. “Su Chan… Can we talk?”
He waited.
No answer.
Maybe she needed some space?
Of course she needs space, you moron. You touched her under her shirt!
Li Yundong cleared his throat. “Listen. Just now some weird girl came by. Said she was from some Zhengyi Taoist school or something. I just thought you should know… And um… I’m sorry about earlier.”
Okay. He apologized. He also told her about the girl. Great. Now what?
Right. Space. Got it.
Li Yundong went back to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Was it possible that the girl and Su Chan were related? He turned that idea over in his mind for a moment. Nah… That doesn’t make any sense. If she came here looking for Su Chan, why didn’t she just ask for Su Chan straightaway? Instead, she had to spout all this Wuxia nonsense like some lunatic. But why couldn’t he just forget about the encounter and let the whole thing go?
Well, he knew why.
The resemblance between that girl’s behavior and Su Chan’s behavior was too great to be a coincidence. Not to mention all that Taoism stuff the girl had spouted earlier.
Li Yundong grabbed his laptop from the couch.
On the search bar, he typed, “Taoist schools in China.”
He clicked on the first link.
In China, schools of Taoist thought and ideologies are geographically classified. As such, any Taoist school in China is either a Northern or Southern school, but in general, the Southern schools are far more prominent than the Northern schools in terms of strength and influence. Schools and temples were established deep inside the mountains, chiefly Mount Gezao, Mount Maoshan, and Mount Longhu. All Northern schools are based in Mount Maoshan…
Not exactly helpful, but Mount Longhu did pop up. Li Yundong scrolled down until something caught his attention. It was a heading. The Great Seal of the Three Mountains. The Greatest Taoist School in Existence. He scanned through the rest of the section, which consisted of long paragraphs explicating the history of the Zhengyi Taoist School. Apparently, the Zhengyi Taoist School represented the entire Southern school of Taoist thought in China. It was also the most powerful Taoist organization in the world.
And that strange girl claimed to be a disciple of this elusive school…
Li Yundong’s scalped tingled.
What the heck is going on here?
Things just kept getting weirder and weirder.
He searched the entire article for the keywords “Zhenren Wang” and “Linggong Sect.”
Nothing.
Then, he switched to another tab and typed the same keywords into the search engine.
Also nothing.
Wait a minute…
He closed the tab and opened a new one. This time, he did a search for “Taoist drugs” and “Taoist pills.” He clicked into several articles but found that most of them were about Traditional Chinese Medicine prescriptions meant for curing diseases and improving overall health. Nothing about super strength or Spidey senses. Of course not, you idiot… Everyone would have known about this drug by now if it were out there on the web. He tried again, but this time, he searched for “Taoist super potion,” which ended up with a bunch of articles about some Wuxia novel.
Li Yundong shut the lid of his laptop, then put the device aside. This was pointless. He couldn’t find out anything on the web. He sighed and lay down on the couch. He closed his eyes and tried to sort through his thoughts.
It would be foolish to dismiss that strange girl just now as just some loony. It was the way she spoke; that was what bothered him the most. The speech pattern and lingo was old-fashioned and esoteric, like they came straight out of the page of an Wuxia novel. But that wasn’t the main problem. The main problem was that Su Chan spoke in a similar way too.
He heard a soft swish, like the rustling of a piece of cloth. He opened his eyes and sat up. He glanced towards the sliding door leading to the balcony. The curtains were swaying gently in the afternoon breeze.
Then there it was again, another swish. But this time, the sound came from inside his bedroom. He frowned. Did I leave the sliding door open this morning? He rose from the couch and padded into his room. The sliding door was closed; the curtains weren’t even moving. Chills travelled down his spine. What the hell? He walked over to his bed and lifted the blanket. He didn’t find anything strange under the blanket. He glanced up at the ceiling. Also nothing. He sighed and unclenched his fists.
Then, when he was rearranging the blanket on his bed, he suddenly had a strange feeling that something was approaching him from behind. Wait. No. It wasn’t just from behind, but from… all directions. He heard another swish, this time it was as if it came from right beside his ear. Li Yundong gasped and sprang to his feet, his heart pounding and his ears ringing. His did a quick scan of his room.
Again, he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.
Another swish. This time it came from the living room. Alright, what the f*ck? Enough is enough… Li Yundong moved his Qi to his Shenting, and then charged out of his bedroom, fully prepared for a fight.
But there was nobody in the living room.
Su Chan was still holed up inside her room, so it couldn’t have been her as well. Li Yundong closed his eyes and tried to sort through the buzzing in his ears. He didn’t hear that strange swishing sound again.
Was it a bird?
No. It couldn’t have been a bird. That didn’t sound like a bird at all. It sounded like someone waving a flag or a piece of cloth.
Minutes later, he threw his hands into the air. “Argh. You know what? This is getting ridiculous,” he mumbled, lying back down on the couch. All this nonsense was making him paranoid. He needed to just chill and calm his f*cking tits before he did something stupid like calling the cops because “there’s some invisible person waving an invisible flag inside my apartment.”
After a while of staring blankly at the ceiling, he got up and pulled out his thick textbook from his backpack. He had asked for the tips from Zhou Qin earlier, so he might as well start studying for the finals now.
***
Su Chan opened her door slowly and peeked out. The sun was already up, and the living room was bright since the curtain was open. Su Chan stepped out and shut her door quietly. She padded over to the bathroom but stopped just outside of it. She turned and looked towards Yundong’s room. The door was open, as usual. Yundong never slept with his door closed, but that would have to change soon. They would have to be extra careful now that the people from the Zhengyi School had come knocking on their door.
The Zhengyi School. Su Chan shuddered at the mere thought of that name. She stepped into the bathroom and began her morning routine. The glory days of most Taoist schools were over. That had been the case since the falls of the Ming and Qing Dynasties. Even so, it didn’t mean these schools no longer existed, just that most of their members—master Cultivators—had left their respective schools and ventured out into the world. Some of these Cultivators went to live in the mountains. Others chose to hide themselves in the mortal world. A while ago, when word of the Renyuan Jindan’s existence got out, a lot of these Cultivators came out of hiding in order to hunt for it. Blood was spilled and lives were spent in this great war to gain possession of the Renyuan Jindan. She herself had nearly died at the hands of several master Cultivators the night she stole the Jindan. The only reason she was even alive was because Master had managed to distract them long enough for her to escape with the Jindan. Ruan Hongling and Zi Yuan were the two Cultivators sent by the Zhengyi Taoist School to hunt her down.
And yesterday afternoon, one of them, Ruan Hongling, had knocked on their door.
This was bad.
How did they even find her here?
It would make sense if it was their old apartment, since that was the last place Zi Yuan and Ruan Hongling had seen Su Chan. But here? Their new place? How did they even know?
Su Chan dried her face with a towel and studied her own reflection in the mirror. Thanks to the one thousand Xiao Zhoutians and Da Zhoutians she had spent the entire night completing, she looked refreshed and well-rested. She’d been so freaked out by Ruan Hongling’s arrival yesterday that she ended up spending the entire night Cultivating inside her room. She didn’t even come out for dinner.
Which was why her stomach sounded as though someone had placed a bunch of explosive talismans in it. She could use one of those Mac Doo Nurls breads right now. Even the not-so-tasty food from the restaurant at Yundong’s school would do at this point.
She got out of the bathroom and tip-toed towards Yundong’s bedroom. She peeked around the edge of the doorjamb and frowned when she saw Yundong’s empty bed. Is he up already? Neither of the bathrooms were occupied, so he couldn’t be in there. Su Chan went into the kitchen next, but she saw no signs of Yundong there as well. Had he gone out on his own? Su Chan leaned against the kitchen counter and began running through a list of scenarios that could explain Yundong’s absence.
Oh, no…
Su Chan felt her knees go weak.
Oh, God no…
Su Chan pushed away from the counter and charged out of the kitchen. Had he been kidnapped by the Zhengyi people? Did they manage to figure out that he had consumed the Jindan? But how! Did Yundong tell them? Did they extort the information from him?
Oh, no, no! This wasn’t supposed to happen! They would absorb the Jindan, and then they would kill him! Su Chan dashed past the living room and reached for the front door.
Then, she halted. Keys. She needed to get the keys. When she turned back around, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
Yundong was there on the couch, fast asleep, his entire face covered by that thick book of his. Su Chan’s knees buckled, and she sagged to the floor. He’s safe… he’s safe…
Moments later, she crawled towards the couch and then sat beside the coffee table. She spent a while just watching him sleep. His deep and slow breathing suggested that he was still in deep sleep, which was a bit strange, since he was usually up by now. He must have stayed out here all night, reading his book…
The Cultivators from the Zhengyi School were here. They were here, at their door. Their lives were in serious danger.
What was she supposed to do now…
Ugh! Enough, Chan’er! Stop being so weak!
Su Chan shook her head in disgust.
Alright Chan’er… First, look at the facts.
Yes! Facts, facts, facts! Bring it on, facts!
Hmm…The enemy had yet to attack them, nor had they made any threatening moves so far. Zi Yuan hadn’t even shown herself yet, so there was a good chance that the Zhengyi School was still in the dark about the Jindan’s whereabouts. Yes, that made sense. If they knew where the Jindan was, Zi Yuan would most certainly be all over it.
Alright then. The Jindan’s whereabouts was still secure. Phew.
But why was Ruan Hongling here yesterday?
Su Chan replayed the conversation between Yundong and Ruan Hongling yesterday. All Ruan Hongling did was introduce herself… And then she asked Yundong about his affiliation and who his master was. Ruan Hongling sounded curious about Yundong… Almost like she was trying to get to know him better…
Hmm…
The roar.
Yundong’s impressive roar must have piqued Ruan Hongling’s curiosity, so she decided to drop by to pay Yundong a visit!
So this might have nothing to do with the Jindan after all. Phew…
But…
Wasn’t it just a matter of time before they got found out? Who knew what kind of tricks Ruan Hongling had up her sleeves. Spells? Magical objects? It was certainly possible to extort information with the right tools…
Should they move to a new place? Don’t be silly, Chan’er. What would that even accomplish? It wasn’t like Yundong could alter his facial appearance. Besides, suddenly moving away would just make them look even more suspicious.
But how were they supposed to survive if their cover got blown? The Zhengyi School was a force to be reckoned with.
The Zhuji phase. She had to help Yundong pass the Zhuji phase as quickly as possible. That was the only way they could survive this.
Yundong groaned and began pushing the thick book away from his face. “Ugh… Wazz dizz…”
Biting her lip, Su Chan leaned forward and placed her elbows on the table. Then, she rested her chin in her hands and watched Yundong closely. The book fell to the floor with a thud. Yundong shifted around a few times, then blinked his eyes open. He gasped loudly the moment he saw her.
“Argh!!! Shit!”
He fell off the couch and landed face-first on the floor.
Su Chan giggled. She couldn’t help it; he was just too cute.
Yundong was up from the floor in a second, his hair sticking out in odd angles. “S- Su Chan?”
Su Chan cracked a smile and waved at him. “Morning… Yundong.”
“B- but… y- you’re here… I thought…” Yundong stared at her as though he couldn’t believe his eyes.
Su Chan felt an urge to smooth out his messy hair, no matter how cute he looked right then.
Yundong got up from the floor and sat down on the couch. He continued to stare at her.
“So you… you’re not… you’re not mad at me anymore?” he asked tentatively.
Su Chan frowned. Mad? Why would she be mad—
Images flashed across her mind. Steamy images involving tangled bodies, and intertwining tongues, and…
Su Chan’s cheeks heated up.
“Are you?” Yundong asked again.
Su Chan shook her head.
Yundong lay back down on the couch and sighed. “Thank God… You were holed up in your room for the whole day yesterday. You didn’t even come out for dinner…” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I was worried sick…”
So was I… But for a completely different reason.
“Look Su Chan… I’m sorry… About yesterday I mean… Dammit. I got carried away again. And… you were right to push me away… It’s too soon, and I know you aren’t ready… Hell, I’m probably not ready myself. Hey, you now what? If I do something like that again next time… just… just…” Yundong gestured wildly. “Just kick me in the nuts!”
Su Chan burst into laughter, slapping the tabletop as she laughed. When she was done laughing, she saw Yundong looking at her softly. Suddenly, he reached over and pinched her nose. She still didn’t understand why he liked doing that.
“Forgive me, princess?”
There was really nothing to forgive, but Su Chan nodded nonetheless. “Mmm!”
They stared at each other until Su Chan noticed the conflicted look on his face. He looked like he had something else to say to her.
“What is it, Yundong?”
Yundong sat up, then picked up the book from the floor.
“Tell me,” Su Chan prodded again.
Yundong placed the book on the table and held her gaze. “Did you hear something strange yesterday?”
“Like what?”
Not that she would know. She’d been performing Xiao Zhoutian and Da Zhoutian until dawn.
“I mean strange noises… like…” Yundong gestured wildly again.
Huh? What was he talking about?
“Like…?”
Yundong stopped gesturing. “Like someone waving a flag? Or a handkerchief? Or a shirt…Gah! You know what? Don’t worry about it. It’s silly. I must have imagined it—”
Su Chan’s stomach growled loudly.
They stared at each other in silence. Su Chan wondered if steam was coming off the top of her head now.
Then, Yundong laughed and stood up from the couch. “Come on! I’ll take you out for breakfast! You must be starving after skipping dinner last night.”
Su Chan’s stomach answered with another growl.
One of these days, she was going to invent a medicine that cures hunger for good.
***
“Hey!!! Li Yundong!!!”
Li Yundong stopped just outside of the academic building. Turning to his left, he saw Feng Na waving at him.
Li Yundong smiled and waved back. “Yo! Good morning!”
Feng Na greeted Su Chan with a nod, then pulled out something from her bag. It was a DVD, which she quickly stuffed into Li Yundong’s hand. “Keep this for me please?” she said anxiously.
“Ooh… what’s this, eh?” Li Yundong wiggled his brows. “Don’t tell me it’s part of your porn stash?”
Feng Na rolled her eyes. “No it’s not—”
“Nana!!!! Seriously? Would it kill you to lend that disk to your own bestie?!”
Li Yundong turned to his left again. This time, he saw Cheng Cheng running towards them at full speed.
Seconds later, Cheng Cheng pounced on Feng Na, throttling her and shaking her shoulders.
Li Yundong could barely contain his amusement. Didn’t know that these two are so into porn…
“Come on! I only need it for two days! Is that too much to ask? I’m your best friend, dammit!”
Feng Na smiled at Cheng Cheng fawningly. “Look… I told you I’ve already lent it to someone else. Why won’t you believe me?”
“Uh-huh…” Cheng Cheng eyed Feng Na skeptically.
“Okay, look… Would it make you feel better if I tell you that I myself haven’t had the chance to watch it yet?”
“So, what, you lend the DVD to someone else before you watch it yourself?”
Feng Na stomped her foot. “Yes! That’s what I’ve been telling you…”
Cheng Cheng glared at Feng Na for a moment. “Well. I. Don’t. Believe. You.”
Feng Na groaned. “Oh, come on!”
“Alright, fine. Who? Who has the DVD now?”
Li Yundong nearly laughed when Feng Na shot him a guilty look.
“A fourth year senior…” Feng Na said.
Li Yundong tried to secretly pass the DVD to Su Chan behind his back, but he was already too late; Cheng Cheng was staring right at the DVD.
“You!” Cheng Cheng gasped, then pointed a finger at Li Yundong. “Don’t tell me Li Yundong is this so-called fourth-year senior?!”
“What! No!” Feng Na yelled. She had done a terrific job covering up her panic with an indignant expression, though Li Yundong honestly doubted she could keep up the charade for long.
The next thing he knew, Cheng Cheng was staring at him again. “You!” Cheng Cheng wagged a finger in front of his face. “Be straight with me. What’s this DVD you’re holding?”
Li Yundong glanced at Feng Na who was giving him a pleading look.
Fine… You owe me, Feng Na…
Li Yundong cleared his throat and put on a straight face. Then, he leaned down and whispered into Cheng Cheng’s ear: “Hey… This is the good stuff. But it’s only a small part of my huge collection.”
Cheng Cheng drew back in surprise, then burst into laughter. “What collection?”
“Oh, well… I’ve got the ones featuring the westerners. Those are pretty hard core. And if you’re into the more oriental stuff, I’ve got those featuring the Japanese too. So. Pick your flavor.”
Cheng Cheng was blushing to the tip of her ears now. Gotcha…
“Feng Na didn’t give me this,” Li Yundong added. “It fell out of my textbook, you see.” Li Yundong waved the textbook in his hand. “I must’ve used it as a bookmark while I was studying last night.”
He stole a glance at Feng Na, who was now giving him two thumbs up behind Cheng Cheng’s back.
“And I’m pretty sure my…um… tastes in DVDs are completely different than Feng Na’s… Why would I be interested in borrowing her DVD anyway?” Li Yundong smirked. “I’ll have you know that the stuff that I’m into are—”
Cheng Cheng stomped her foot loudly, though her earlier bravado seemed to have evaporated—probably by the heat from her cheeks. “Y- you… shameless pervert!” Cheng Cheng smacked Li Yundong’s upper arm, then turned to Feng Na. “And you! I know you’re lying. And you’ve really hurt my feelings! How could you not lend it to me first? Me! Your best friend! Hmph! You won’t lend it to me, is that it? Fine! I’ll just go look for it on my own! I know you’re hiding it somewhere!”
Then, all three of them watched Cheng Cheng storm off.
Feng Na sighed in relief. “Oh God… Thank you for that. I guess I owe you one…”
Li Yundong chuckled and flipped the DVD around a few times. “What’s on this DVD anyway? Why are you acting so secretive about it?”
Feng Na grinned. “Oh, just some chick flick. You won’t like it.”
“Oh? I’ll have you know that my interests are broad.”
Feng Na just raised her brows at him.
Li Yundong smirked. “I tell you what. Why don’t you lend me this DVD for a day or two. I’ll check it out, then I’ll let you know if it fits my taste? How about that?”
“H-hey… y-you’re double-crossing me?”
“That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”
They stared at each other for a moment. Then, Feng Na pounced for the DVD. Nice try. Li Yundong raised the DVD above his head, completely out of Feng Na’s reach. Feng Na started jumping around to grab the DVD. “Give it back! Give it back, you jerk! I’ll start screaming if you don’t give it back.”
Li Yundong stepped back and hid the DVD behind his back. “Screaming you said? Well. That’s a fantastic idea. How about I do it for you.” Li Yundong turned in the direction where Cheng Cheng had stormed off earlier. “Yo!! Cheng Cheng!!”
Cheng Cheng stopped walking and turned around. “What do you want?” she hollered back.
Li Yundong shot Feng Na a gleeful look. “Your choice,” he said with a shrug.
Feng Na released a low growl. “Fine, dammit! You win! One day! And then you give it back to me!”
Li Yundong smiled triumphantly. “Deal.”
Li Yundong hollered back at Cheng Cheng: “Oh, it’s nothing!! Just wanted to say hi!! Have a good day!!!”
Cheng Cheng just laughed and kept walking.
Feng Na threw her hands in the air. “Ugh! Me and my rotten luck…” she mumbled before storming off too.
Li Yundong shared a glance with Su Chan, then stared down at the DVD in his hand. It was just a plain DVD without any labels. What the heck was on this disc that could have those two girls so worked up? It couldn’t be porn, could it?
Whatever. He’d know for sure once he got home. For now, it was time to head to class.
***
Hmm… Why was this ice cone shaking? Better yet, why was the entire Mac Doo Nurls restaurant shaking? Grrr! Couldn’t a girl have a meal in peace without—
“Su Chan! Wake up, sleepyhead!”
Su Chan jolted awake. Class was over, and the students were slowly filing out of the classroom. Su Chan rubbed her eyes and wiggled against Yundong’s shoulder.
“What do you feel like having for lunch?” Yundong asked.
Su Chan snuggled up to Yundong again. “Dunno… Anything I guess?”
“So. Li Yundong. How about we have lunch together? My treat.”
Hey… That voice… Su Chan was instantly awake. Zhou Qin!
Ooh… So she wasn’t mad at Yundong after all. Hehehe. That’s perfect! Looks like I was worried for nothing…
Su Chan glanced sideways. Say yes, Yundong… Say yes… We need powerful allies…
“Your treat again?” Yundong said. “You’re starting to make me feel bad, you know. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness. Besides, we still have class in the afternoon. I’ll just grab something simple for lunch.”
Zhou Qin arched an eyebrow. “Yesterday’s meal doesn’t count, all thanks to Liu Chuan. Besides, you were the one who did all the cooking, remember? I was supposed to repay you, but I didn’t even do anything.”
Much to Su Chan’s surprise, Yundong started laughing. Then Zhou Qin joined in too. I wonder what’s so funny… Suddenly, Su Chan felt her cheeks heating up. Are they laughing at… me? How mean! Hmph! What was she supposed to do back then anyway? She was hungry! And… and Master told her not to waste food… Su Chan picked up a pen and began doodling on the open page of Yundong’s notebook. Yundong and Zhou Qin were still laughing. Hmph. Meanies! Su Chan filled the page with twin mountain peaks, the same ones she’d seen on those Mac Doo Nurls boxes. She still couldn’t tell if the symbol was meant as mountain peaks or an inverted 3.
“Speaking of Liu Chuan… I kinda feel bad for the guy,” Yundong said. “He ended up having to pay for everything!”
Su Chan stopped doodling. Wait… So they were laughing at that stupid rich man, not her? Oh.
“Nah… Don’t worry about him,” Zhou Qin said. “He’s rich. He can afford it.”
All of a sudden, the door opened with a loud bang. Whispers filled the classroom seconds later.
“Speak of the devil,” Zhou Qin mumbled.
Su Chan glanced up from her doodles. Hey… it was him again, that silly rich man. And why was he carrying such a huge bouquet of roses? Su Chan frowned. Is he here to court someone? Su Chan surveyed the classroom, then returned her gaze towards the man.
The man was heading towards them. Ooh… I bet he’s trying to court Zhou Qin! Well. Of course he was here to court Zhou Qin. Who wouldn’t be drawn to such an ideal dinglu?
Su Chan sneaked a glance at Zhou Qin, who was doing a valiant job hiding her disgust behind her aloof expression. Beside her, Su Chan could feel the trembling in Yundong’s shoulder. When she glanced sideways, Yundong appeared to be holding back his laughter.
Liu Chuan was still walking towards them. Su Chan wondered what kind of game plan the fool had come up with in order to overcome Zhou Qin’s obvious disgust for him. Ha. What could that silly man do anyway? Buy two seats instead of one?
Eh… Who cares… Zhou Qin would probably just reject his ass and then he would go home crying…
Su Chan went back to her doodling. How she wished there were spells that could turn drawings of food into real food, because she was famished.
“Yo! Liu Chuan!” Yundong said. “Are you going to pay for our lunch again today?”
Ooh… That’s right. Yundong managed to trick the fool into paying for our food yesterday…
Food. How nice. Su Chan doodled a chicken drumstick. Then, she drew a little bowl with soup in it. After that, she added a few blobs of duck meat in the soup. That stewed duck dish was honestly one of the most delicious things she had ever tasted. She had never had something like that back in the mountains. Maybe she could ask Yundong for the recipe and—
What in the Tao?
Something tickled her nose.
Su Chan recoiled with a loud gasp.
There it was, the red bouquet of Tao knows how many roses, shoved in front of her face. Liu Chuan was kneeling in front of their table staring back at her. Su Chan sneaked a glance at Yundong. Her beloved was no longer smiling now. He looked like he was about to punch someone in the face. Hmm… What was she supposed to do here? This imbecile clearly had intentions towards her.
Should she…kick him in the gonads?
After all, she did that when the silly comb-over man tried to hit on her, and it worked like a charm.
The bouquet shook a little. For a moment there, Su Chan expected a gun to suddenly appear from the bouquet and start drilling holes into people’s skulls.
“Miss Su Chan! Your beauty is unparalleled and your innocence unmatched!”
Okay. No guns, then.
“You have bewitched me and captivated my heart. Please accept this bouquet of 999 roses as a token of my admiration!”
How about I kick your gonads 999 times?
Beside her, Yundong rose. “Liu Chuan… What the hell do you think you’re doing, huh? She’s my girlfriend.”
“It’s a free world,” Liu Chuan said. “Everyone has the right to pursue love.”
Uh-oh… Now Yundong looked like he was about to rip the idiot into shreds. Su Chan could feel the power of his Qi leaking out from his body. “Yundong…” Su Chan grabbed his wrist and held on as tightly as she could. However, he freed himself with an easy twist of his wrist.
Ugh! Damned Jindan super strength.
“I’ve been tolerant with you, Liu Chuan. You can mock me all you want, but this! Coming after my girl? You’ve crossed a line today, and I will personally make sure that you regret it.”
Su Chan grabbed Yundong wrist a second time. Again, he broke free and began moving towards Liu Chuan. Fortunately, Zhou Qin got in front of Yundong just in time and blocked his path towards Liu Chuan.
“Calm down,” Zhou Qin whispered. “Look over there.”
Zhou Qin pointed at a corner of the classroom.
Su Chan glanced at the corner and frowned. A group of students stood in that corner with rectangular objects—which looked kind of similar to Yundong’s phone—in their hands. What are they doing? For the life of her, Su Chan could never understand how these mortals operate.
Yundong sidestepped Zhou Qin. “Oh! So you came prepared, huh? You son of a bitch!” Yundong cracked his fists a few times. “Have it your way then! I’m going to beat up your sorry ass while they record everything on their phones. And then you can watch the replay back home!”
Liu Chuan sprang to his feet and scrambled backwards. Su Chan could see the fear in his eyes.
“B- beat me up?! Y- you’re just bluffing! You wouldn’t dare!”
Yundong snarled and began to move in. Uh-oh… Su Chan got up from her seat and moved towards Yundong. She had to stop this. They had drawn too much attention to themselves already. Ruan Hongling was at their door yesterday, for Tao’s sake!
Yundong yanked Liu Chuan up from the floor by the collar. When Yundong cocked his fist back, Su Chan pounced and grabbed his arm. Yundong turned and looked at her quizzically. Su Chan gave him her most reassuring smile and said, “Let me handle this, beloved.”
“You sure?”
Su Chan nodded, then brought her lips to his ear. “Qi to Lingtai. That would help calm you down.”
Yundong regarded her for a moment, then nodded. He released Liu Chuan’s collar. “Hurry up and get rid of this retard, princess. I might lose my appetite after seeing his face for too long.”
Su Chan held Yundong’s hand, then traced soothing circles on the back of his palm before releasing his hand. She walked over towards Liu Chuan, who was adjusting his collar.
When she got near, Liu Chuan smiled at her and raised the bouquet again. Okay. How should I handle this? Well, she would obviously need a non-violent approach to avoid drawing attention. Su Chan surveyed the classroom again. A few students were watching them, which meant she had to do something without appearing like she did anything at all.
A spell. She needed a spell. Also, it had to be the non-life-threatening kind, otherwise she would be violating one of the major commandments that all Cultivators should abide by.
“Your beauty captivates me, Miss Su Chan. Please accept these flowers!”
Su Chan looked at the flowers in front of her, then at Liu Chuan. An inconspicuous spell that wasn’t life-threatening…
Hmm…
A hallucination spell it is, then…
Su Chan stepped forward and took the flowers. Then, she pretended to admire the flowers. “Wow… So pretty!”
“Ah… But their beauty pales in comparison to yours, my dear Miss Su Chan!”
Su Chan tried not to gag. And no, she did not miss the smug look Liu Chuan had given Yundong while he was dishing out that corny line.
Fool. In a few seconds, he would look anything but smug.
Su Chan grinned, then sniffed the flowers twice. “And it smells so good!” Su Chan lifted the bouquet and shoved it at Liu Chuan’s face. “Here. You sniff it!”
With her face now being obscured by the bouquet, Su Chan closed her eyes and muttered a quick incantation. In her mind, she visualized fifty hornets flying out of the bouquet.
“Hehe!! Don’t you think they smell good?” Su Chan waved the bouquet in front of Liu Chuan’s face.
When she saw Liu Chuan’s body grow as stiff as a pole, Su Chan knew that her spell had worked.
“Hello?! I asked you a question,” Su Chan said, shaking the bouquet again. “Are you deaf? Do they smell good or not?”
Su Chan turned around and saw Zhou Qin mouthing some words to her: “What’s wrong with him?”
Su Chan just shrugged and turned back to Liu Chuan.
“Oh… I guess the flowers don’t smell good, then? Well. Then I don’t want them!” She tossed the bouquet at Liu Chuan, who caught it with both arms. He stared at the bouquet for a moment or two, his lips trembling and his face as white as a sheet.
Then he dropped the bouquet and ran for the door, waving his arms like a maniac.
“Arrrrgggggghhhh!!! Bees!! Bees!!! Helpp!!! Heeeeeelllllpppp!”
Goodbye, loser.