Princess Fox

What a beautiful day. Sun was shining, cars were screeching, I was dressed in a cute outfit and I was on my way to my new job. I’d never thought I would find Monday to be nice.

What? Yesterday? Right… yesterday I’d discovered that… there was a distinct non-zero possibility that I was transgender. 

Of course, just because everyone else thought so didn’t automatically mean it was definitely the case, though. I needed to… uh, confirm this. After all, as Fern had said, gender issues weren’t a simple topic. It takes time… yeah… Wait, was that why everyone had kept telling me to take my time? Had everyone already known?! Why hadn’t anyone told me?! 

Uh, probably because it wasn’t certain yet, right? Yeah… rushing ahead wouldn’t do me any good... I mean, I wouldn’t want to boldly call myself a trans girl and then… like… be wrong or something, right? That would be pretty embarrassing… yeah… gotta prevent that from happening…

I did relent to at least being called Aster though. I mean, it was nice being called that, so since everyone insisted on it… And also, I’d promised Fern and Miranda I would come to the next LGBT meetup in the Aster outfit. I still felt guilty about dressing up and pretending to be a girl… Well, maybe not pretending… and I mean, if nobody minded then maybe it was okay? Just a little bit…?

Ahem, anyway, work. It was fascinating how the menacing post-apocalyptic bloody scavengers turned into friendly uncles after I got hired by Fractal. If only they would stop calling me a princess! Seriously! I… I wasn’t even a girl! Well… I… maybe I was… but… argh! Stop making me feel complicated!

“That’s… pretty elaborate,” Fractal said, looking around my office and scanning over the corkboard I put up. He looked a little confused though.

“I did my best to put everything together. But ended up finding your base instead… so I guess I need to do better.” I awkwardly scratched the back of my head.

He nodded as he kept frowning at my corkboard. After a moment he sighed. “Alright. I guess it’s smart to write down your plans in such a way that only you with your power can decode it.”

Wait, what?

“Even with my scanner and analyzer, I cannot for the life of me extract any meaningful information from this.” He pointed at the corkboard.

Was… was he trying to say I was so messy that not even super technology could decipher it? I didn’t know whether to be offended by that, or happy that apparently it was impossible to decode for others.

“Yeah… uh… I live with a roommate… and I didn’t want to risk him wandering into my room and finding out what I’m doing.”

“Clever… very clever.” He nodded in approval. “So have you figured out more about your power yet?”

I’d been waiting for this question. Since I was pretending to have superpowers, I needed to be believable. But at the same time, I didn’t want to spew out more lies than I had to. So… the easiest solution?

“It’s a little weird… but I think my powers have been weakening ever since you found out. I think it’s something like… they have to remain secret in order to find other secrets…?”

I was completely talking out of my ass, of course. But If I could prevent Fractal from asking for more details without seeming suspicious, I wouldn’t have to keep layering one lie over another.

“Hmm… a little odd, but powers do tend to have pretty arbitrary rules. Alright, I’ll stop asking, but I do expect results.”

“R-right.”

Fractal gave me a nod and left my office.

Well… previously, trying to find Iron Pack had been my own project. But now I was working for another supervillain, so there was some pressure to make actual progress. But that was fine. I could do this. No need to worry about anything.

And so I continued my detective work, using the supercomputer Fractal provided for me for the mundane task of scouring the Internet for information. Overkill? Nah… websites loading the instant I clicked the link was one of life’s necessities, after all.

Now, most of what I encountered on my journey through the net was stuff I’d already known, things I’d already found previously.

But not everything. 

Normally, I would ignore a blog post by someone who also wrote a dozen of Iron Pack x Nova fanfics, but something in that blog post caught my eye. Something that lit up the path in what I thought was an informational dead end.

The more I thought about it and went through my other notes, the more everything made sense. I realized where I made a mistake last time. This time, I would find Iron Pack for sure, though!

“Hahahaha! Yes!” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and jump on top of my chair while doing a little dance. All of that hard work would finally pay off!

I turned around, a huge smile still plastered on my face, and then froze. Rob stood in the doorway, looking at me with an amused smile.

“W-w-w-what are you doing here?!” I stammered out as the temperature of my face rose for some reason.

“I…” He coughed into his hand, never dropping the grin. “Boss told me to give this to you.” He showed me an earbud. “It’s a communicator. Everyone else already has one.”

“Okay… why didn’t you knock, though?” I jumped off the chair.

“I did.”

“Wait what? I didn’t hear…” Had I been so immersed in my research that I tuned out the knocking?

“And then I heard you laugh maniacally, so I was worried you triggered one of the boss' laughing gas bombs on accident.”

“I… you…”

Making an idiot out of myself. My specialty.

“Okay… thanks.” I grabbed the communicator and placed it in my ear.

“All you have to do is tap it twice and you can start speaking.”

“Alright, thanks… uh… by the way… could you… not tell anyone about… uhm, that?” I pointed at the chair.

His grin grew wider. “Of course, princess. Your secret is safe with me.”

With a wink, he left my office and closed the door behind him.

I stood there for a moment, staring at the door, before putting both hands on my face and squatting. 

“Goooooooood!”

Of course, he would have walked in right as I was acting like an idiot! Argh! Was it one of the rules of the universe that I must always be the dumbest guy in the room? Or, uh, maybe a girl and not a guy…?

Anyway… the fact was that I automatically halved the average IQ of the room whenever I entered it. How’s that for a superpower?!

Alright, enough of this. I had my new lead, time to stop curling on the floor in psychological agony and resume my search.

I dropped my hands and stood up… before freezing again.

Rob was standing in the doorway… again.

“I… forgot to mention that you can also use it as a bug… if you tap it three times you can hide it somewhere and we can then listen in.”

I dumbly nodded, ignoring how hot my face had gotten again.

He cracked a smile again. “You know, you kind of remind me of my daughter. The same adorable bundle of energy.”

With that, he left.

I spent the next half hour or so sitting in the corner of my office with my head buried in my knees in shame.