52 – Which Way To Go
Once the ashes of the pyre spread out across the lands with the help of the wind, the tribe went on its way. They had to get as far as they could from this place, as there were simply too many dead bodies. Counting the fact that the commotion the pyre caused made this place unsafe to be.
Thus, their tempo quickened, and they traveled without rest for the entire day.
During the night, most went to sleep immediately after the long travel, but not everyone.
Many chose that day to forget their worries with the help of alcohol.
Illyan, Zers, and Degres weren’t exceptions. Sitting around a small campfire, they were passing from one hand to another a waterskin. Except that there was no water but an old wine that Degres was hiding for special times.
“Fr-Frozen Valas Tundra ha-have never h-had good production of a-alcohol… The best t-thing that could be used for its pr-production were h-herbs. But t-those were for m-medicine or food usually so the alcohol ne-never became p-popular here. It was o-only after the old man brought some f-from his journey to the south that I could taste the r-real delicacy! What a shame, what a shame. We could ta-taste it together i-if I didn’t hoard it…”
Degres, who acted all tough during the day, was now all a mess of tears and snot while lamenting over the wine he got from Kaoran many years ago.
He was always saving it for some special times as he couldn’t bring himself to drink it. After all, once he did, he wouldn’t have a chance to drink it anymore.
However, this time he decided to screw it and started to drink it in big gulps. He invited Zers and Illyan, who were also very close to both him and Kaoran, and started to drink with them.
Zers, who never had the opportunity to get drunk, had very weak immunity against it and was tottering after a few sips.
Illyan, on the other hand, didn’t feel any difference. He then realized that the old man told him that drinking alcohol is basically poisoning your body on purpose. He didn’t understand before, but now he does. All drugs give you the kind of effect you desire at the expense of your health. It is just that the alcohol is more gradual. But that made it impossible for him to get drunk. At least, not with this wine.
And so, to not waste it, he just stopped drinking and gave it to the two idiots before him. Seeing them talking nonsense while falling into the snow made him feel much better than in the morning.
He thought that the killing he did against the Blood Crow Alliance would help him to let off steam, but it didn’t help. It just felt as if the wound was stirred.
At least, he knows that mass genocide won’t deal with his sorrow. Instead, it would be the stain of the old man if he really lost himself in the rage and sorrow.
After all, he was right. He lived twice as long as normal people do and could die in his sleep. How many would envy such a life?
Yet, emotions are hard to control or understand. He knew that yet still, he felt the world was unfair for taking the man’s life.
Longevity is just an illusion in the eyes of mortals, and it is the pursuit of desire for the stronger beings.
Yet, he doesn't know what to think about it.
Living a long life was lucrative for anyone, but there are some downsides to it too. Just like Kaoran said, there is a downside to both paths.
There is no way he could live a normal life if he can outlive others. That means he could live in loneliness or try to find someone who can live as long as him.
In the first place, why did he long for longevity? Did he even? His life was full of suffering. Some would already kill themselves rather than live another hour let alone live forever.
Just why?
The first time he ever thought about this was when Kaoran told him about how his gift will slow down his aging. He didn’t care much at that time. He actually thought of it as a good thing as that was common sense.
But now it felt just hollow.
Zephyr gave him a hint at what his heart desires but… Is that really enough? Freedom? Adventure? That is just too broad of a theme for him to take seriously. There are no between steps making it hard to think too far into the future.
He could still try to live a normal life. The life of mortals. Finding a wife, bearing a child. Raise them. And then die in peace with the wife in the arms of his children and grandchildren. Yeah, he would age slower but that didn’t mean he couldn’t die. There still should be some things that could kill him. As long as he forsakes fighting and hurting himself, the gift will stop getting stronger.
However, would Kaoran be disappointed if he knew that all of his effort would go to drain?
“You should choose what you want, Stone. There is no need to think of others. It is your life.”
The voice of an old man resounded behind his ears, making him flinch.
With force, he turned around only to see nothing. Only a breeze bringing the cold towards his face.
“What’s the m-matter, Ill? You are not too drunk, right?” Zers, who just almost fell into the campfire, was talking to the startled Illyan who stood there in stupor. Degres was laughing at them as he drank another gulp of wine.
“This is g-great!”
“Haah…”
Illyan just shook his head. Whatever. I can think about it later.
You don’t need to have a meaning in your life. Just enjoy it as it is.
‘I want to travel in the same way as you did when you were younger. Unfortunately, because of my state, I will probably never return to the tribe. Instead, I will travel to places you didn’t have the opportunity to visit, old man.’
In this way, he spent the rest of the night together with these two.
Unfortunately, later on Zers was dragged away by Yii when he was too drunk and so there was only Illyan and Degres.
“Ah, Stone… How depressing… I knew the day would come. I k-knew it. But wasn’t it simply too sudden? So sudden…”
Degres said this while wobbling in his seat. Illyan could only sigh at this sight.
“Well-”
Thud
Snore
Before he could say anything, Degres fell asleep and collapsed on the ground.
Seeing this, Illyan could only quickly get to him and close the waterskin he still had opened in the arm. If it was spilled, it would be quite a waste.
Once he closed it, he looked at the snoring man lying in the snow unbothered.
He crouched and hung him on his shoulder and took him to his tent before returning to his own.
Now that Kaoran passed away, he couldn’t sleep on Dor anymore. Dor was Kaoran’s companion but now the ‘ownership’ was given to Grand Shaman Kara. Dor could live by himself but he was still needed for transportation of some heavy things.
Illyan couldn’t sleep on him because of that anymore and chose to use his tent. It was an old and decrepit tent that he used for years but it was enough for him.
It didn’t take him long to pitch it and enter.
There, he sat and pondered about this day’s events.
That reminded him of the scroll that Kaoran gave him. He took it out and started to unfurl it. He didn’t plan to train any of those as he wasn’t in good shape. But his curiosity did not let him sleep and he wondered what kind of things there were.
And so he opened it and started to read the content inside.
What he saw was truly surprising. Most of the techniques were centered around Kaoran's gift which was described here in detail. Even with his newfound powers of the Eyes of Truth, he wouldn’t be able to try any of those.
Not to mention, that the threshold for talent was much higher than his current talent.
But what attracted him the most was the technique called ‘Blood Feeding Technique’.
It was written normally in Theras Language in Bakur alphabet making it possible for him to read.
He immediately noticed a small note at the beginning.
‘I had this technique recorded for a long time after getting it out of one Shaman that I interrogated. I have never told anyone about it since the Blood Crow Alliance would get crazy over it and would risk their everything to get it back. I translated it back to our language and burnt the original. I was hesitating to give it to you but it shouldn’t have any long term consequences in your case. So, use it with consideration.’
‘He knew I was interested in this technique, huh? I guess he could read me like a book.’
He felt a little amusement as he realized that Kaoran really knew him the best.
With high expectations, he started to read the technique hoping to learn something that would be really useful. He knew its effect approximately but until he reads this he won’t know how much it will affect him.
However, after reading a few lines he frowned. It didn’t take long to read it all. But no joy appeared on his face as he realized how much of a scam this technique was.
By overtaxing your life expectancy and vitality every day for years, you will build up inner energy within your blood which will make you much stronger. That is not the only downside. The pain you will go through is also substantial.
‘It hurt, it was slowly killing you and it took years before showing any good progress. What a shitty technique.’
He could only roll his eyes at those guys in the Blood Crow Forest. Why would they sacrifice everything for little strength?
The way how to start the training also was not something he was happy about. The first step was to eat raw Firestorm Herb. Second was to start working out until your body gets hot. The third one was a special breathing technique that was the core of this technique.
Your own flesh will start to ‘burn’ turning into vitality strengthening the blood.
The herb is needed only in the beginning as in later stages the user’s body usually learns how to use the vitality inside of your body. Basically, the herb was the catalyst for the start of the process. The user’s body will instinctively do this part on its own later on.
The problem was…
That the Firestorm herb grew only in one place he knew about.
Blood Crow Forest.
Without it, he can’t begin.
‘Looks like Kaoran didn’t have any either. I never saw one in the tribe. Those herbs are growing only on the south part of the forest because of the slightly warmer temperature there…. Hah… Whatever. I can think about it next time. With some luck, if I experiment with some herbs I should be able to find a replacement in at most a few years. Furthermore, you don’t technically need the herb if you can learn how to release the energy hidden in your body on your own. It is definitely possible.’
With this thought, he packed it up into his backpack and got under the fur blanket.
The thoughts about meditating didn’t pass through his mind as he closed his eyes and in a few seconds fell into a deep slumber…
……..
Next Day.
“So, Illyan… What will you do from now on? You learned everything you needed from Kaoran and today you used all your merit for the ‘debt.’ You are completely free to do whatever you want now.” Degres, who woke up with a horrible hangover but got over it soon, came to Illyan to ask him about his plans.”
Illyan, who just came, talked with all of the elders of the tribe, Grand Shaman Kara included, was now free of any obligation or commitment towards the tribe and is free to go whenever he wants.
“I thought about it. However, right now I have only two options. To go with you over the sea or go through the Blood Crow Forest further into the center of this continent. I am also in need of one herb that is there. Unfortunately, it would be unnecessarily dangerous. The herb isn’t so important either. So going with you to the new land would probably be for the best.”
Illyan gave him his thoughts. He already lost any attachments he had in this continent. He gave up on any kind of revenge. He didn’t know where the Wolf Monster was, and the Thearas Clan Shaman was probably deep in the forest where he would be at a great disadvantage. He pondered about it but safety was more important.
For him, it was all in the past.