Pretending To Have A Girlfriend?

After a long time, I met my older brother:

“Ha, Hyung, I’m having a hard time.”

Sitting in a corner of a noisy bar, I grabbed my head and said.

[ Note: Hyung is used by younger men to refer to older men. ]

I knew it was not going to happen, but I glanced at the door with anxious eyes in case I ran into them.

“What’s going on again, Starchis?”

My older brother, Stion, who was 9 years older than me and was the leader of an A-tier party, tilted his head at my complaint.

[ Note: Starchis might sound like a weird name but the flower Statice (스태티스) - which means Eternal Love - is also written like Starchis (스타치스). And author-san is referring that Starchis/Seutachiseu (스타치스) here. ]

Hyung had a lot of social experience, so there were many times when I felt comfortable consulting with him. It's also because he usually gave me clear answers or told me directly what to do; He was one of my spiritual supporters.

“Is it because of those party kids again?”

“Who else is there beside them?”

“Who is it this time?”

“… All three.”

“…Huh.”

However, even if he came up with one solution, the consultation with Hyung never ended; as if fighting a defensive battle, when one worry disappeared, another one arose.

And those issues always came from my party members.

Because I longed to be like my brother, the leader of the A-tier party, I organized my own party, and as a result, I found three female party members and stayed together for two years with that composition.

Though it’s been only 2 years since the party was formed, it was slightly different how long we had known each member face to face even before forming the party.

“I want to take some time off.”

“…?... Just take it then.”

“But it’s hard.”

“What are you talking about?... Just have a few beers, organize what you want to say in your head, then say it.”

Hyung wanted to listen to my concerns seriously, but he didn’t seem to understand.

As I drank my beer as he said, I thought about how to solve this question.

Just thinking about those three made my heart ache.

“My party members. They can’t see me taking a break.”

“What, inside the dungeon? Why are you running errands?”

“No. They can’t do that in a dungeon. If everyone doesn’t take it seriously, it’ll be a big deal.”

If I kept running errands even in the dungeon, the whole party would shake: those three were not that stupid. If they treated me like a slave like that, I would have already lost my hand. Instead, inside the dungeon, everyone contributed their best even if they were angry with me and we were not on talking terms.

“There is no problem in the dungeon.”

“…Then? Are you saying outside the dungeon is the problem?”

“Yes.”

“What can they even do to trouble you so much outside the dungeon?”

“I mean, they always come to me on days off. Let’s do this, let’s do that, help us with this, let’s hang out, etc… I was trying to pamper them; we hang out together a few times before, but these days it’s too much.”

“…?”

Hyung was frowning and making a puzzled expression.

“So they’re asking you to come and hang out on your day off?”

“Yes.”

“What, why is that a problem?”

“They come every day!!! Assuming I don’t get hurt, if we go around the dungeon for 2 days and take 5 days off, they’ll come for all 5 days off, got it? Taking turns.”

“Say you just want to rest.”

Hyung, who spoke so simply, looked disgusting.

Okay. To others, that’s normal. But if it was as easier as he said, would I have consulted?

Though I didn’t have the strength to refute; I was still very tired.

Even Hyung can’t help me?

When I looked at him with resigned eyes, Hyung quietly averted my eyes and said.

“Yeah, but it’s not easy, that must be why you consulted with me. Well... Why can’t you refuse?”

I was annoyed, but I also felt sorry for Hyung who was looking after me. After all, Hyung was using his free time for me. But we were not having a good time, I was just talking dark things. Even so, Hyung continued to worry about me.

“Tell me. Why can’t you refuse?”

“…Pooh… Once I refuse, they get angry.”

“… You're saying they get pissed?”

Hyung's thoughts were written all over his face;

'That's it? They just get pissed so you can't refuse?'

“I can barely think of only one reason, but ha... I have to see it; Badly pissed off; enough to get in the way of dungeons. They don’t even answer, and when they do, they say something sarcastic or hurtful.”

My body trembled. It reminded me of the day when all three of them were upset, not just one or two.

That day was hell.

“If it’s hard for you to convince them to let go of the grievous feelings, then don't convince them; they can just not let go.”

“I told you! They are seriously pissed off! Oh and! You’re the party leader, you must know! If I don’t solve the dissatisfaction, it will be difficult later. I also want to work hard, so I try to fulfill their requests now and then!”

“Okay okay. I know. Don’t be angry. But I’m saying don’t do it if it’s that hard. You’re having a hard time, why do you do that then? You just have to go through the dungeon a little harder. It'll get better with time.”

“If I don’t convince them to let go of their anger, they’ll stay upset… Don’t say it'll naturally resolve. It gets really annoying afterward… Ugh, hyung should have seen them. Even in a situation where life is at stake, they get angry and don't answer. Even cry afterward. Oh my God, who cries just because we haven’t hang out for a day?”

Hyung's eyes were hazy for a moment… then he looked at me blankly.

“Okay. Well, maybe you have your own situation. You are right. I should have seen them.”

“Right.”

“But they get angry because you keep refusing, or they get angry if you refuse just once? Because who wouldn't be offended if you kept refusing?”

“…Of course, every time I refuse, they get angry. If not, I wouldn’t even worry about it. If I refuse even just once, their expression will turn really bloody… Uh-huh.”

“Hmm… That’s interesting.”

I rested my head on the table.

I saw other guests laughing loudly; Drinking and talking in excitement, singing songs, and putting shoulder to shoulder…

I also wanted to laugh happily like that.

“That’s why I can’t even take a day off these days. I can’t refuse, so they come every single day now. Even if I try to say no, saying that today is a bit difficult, they make some nonsense, saying, ‘That’s why you're not coming.’”

“How did you come out today then?”

“After I said I was meeting my older brother, they let me go. I don’t know what else will they ask for this later. To be honest, I just wanted to rest at home, but when I am at home, they always drag me outside. That's why I came to see my brother. No, why do I have to live like this?”

I continued to grumble.

“Please... I want to sleep for one day without any worries. If one person drags me into the night and lets me go, I have to meet another party member from dawn the next day. What is this?”

Hyung tapped the table with his finger and asked a question.

“Are you still not thinking about breaking the party?”

“…Hyung.”

To become a high-ranking Hunter, you must stand out. If a rumor spread that a party had collapsed, it could be said that work was cut off after that.

Hyung was an A-tier hunter; it was a totally different league, so whether leave or join, he was free, but it was not that easy on C-tier and D-tier.

There were many other C-tier and D-tier parties, but there was no reason to join people who gave up without being able to stand out.

In my case, I couldn’t even change party members. There were three party members with problems. If I changed not just one person, but all party members, it was natural to think that I, the leader, had a problem rather than the three.

So, if I broke my C-tier party, I, the actual leader, could be said to be retired from then on.

“No, I’m just curious about why you’re having such a hard time. You always come with worries because of them. There are a lot of professions to try, even if you don't be a hunter... I'm just hoping you'll be in this dangerous profession if you are confident.”

The party could not be broken. Even if Hyung asked me why I kept doing this, I couldn’t answer.

How can I say that I want to be like my older brother in front of the person in question?

As I remained silent, Hyung sighed and asked.

“…Sigh... Okay, let’s have a party.”

Saying that Hyung drank the beer all the way.

“By the way, Starchis, can I ask you a question?”

“…What?”

“Before now, whenever I heard about your party members, I thought they were just bitches, but today I had a little doubt.”

“…?”

What? Did you find out something?

“Why didn’t I think of this before? It seems to fit the situation so much that I wonder. It also explains why they do it.”

“…”

My brother said with shining eyes.

“Isn’t that just because they like you?”

What did you say…

Are you misunderstanding my lack of explanation?

I was also puzzled.

“What the... What nonsense…”

“Why do you think no?”

“Hyung, absolutely not.”

“Why not? They're calling you because they just want to see you and date you. If you refuse, they will get angry.”

Hyung seemed to be organizing his thoughts already.

The hyung, who listened earnestly, went somewhere and tried to smile wrigglingly.

I must not let him get carried away here.

If I didn’t break this claim here, he would give me advice that would make me look like an idiot.

I already began to hear the cold voice of my three party members saying things like ‘Why are you so insensitive?’

I took a deep breath and spoke calmly.

“Hyung. Absolutely not!”

“What is absolutely not? It seems right.”

“It’s embarrassing, but it’s not like I didn’t think about it.”

“Oh, yes?”

“You know. I am also interested in dating.”

“And?”

“But when I meet them and see how they behave, it’s absolutely not like that. If you love someone, you'd praise them, go to places where you can have fun with each other, and eat something delicious, right? Their hearts beat too.”

“Well. Everyone expresses it differently, right?”

“Still if they like me, they should be a little considerate of me. If I'm tired, they should let me rest. Aside from that, even when we meet, they just do what they want to do and go where they want to go. Eat only what they want to eat; they just want to do things that would be embarrassing to do alone, so they take me with them... As a porter.”

“…”

“They even keep drawing the line. Who likes the other person but keeps drawing the line? Right, Hyung?”

“What line?”

“That we are not lovers. They keep reminding me as if never to cross that line.”

“…It’s ambiguous.”

“…Hmm...”

I felt like I was going to die of boredom. He didn’t see how I was being dragged around, so Hyung said things like that.

Their actions were nothing but things that I could never understand from my perspective on dating.

“I’m doing this because I couldn’t really explain it, hyung has to see it for himself.”

“You too, clear your head and observe again. I might be right.”

“Hyung. But, absolutely not. Even if they really liked me with a probability of 1 in 10,000. What does that have to do with me? Who expresses their liking that way? No, but even if it was a way of expressing their liking anyway, I have no intention of getting along with people who express it that way.”

“Well? That right.”

I clenched my fists in my heart.

Yes, you are finally on my side.

“I'll have even a harder time with them if they continue to act like that even after we become lovers. I support pure love, so I like the love where both are considerate of each other. Do you want me to suffer with them?”

“Ayu. No, why would I? You're my younger brother.”

“Right? But I keep wasting my break time because of girls who aren’t meant to be lovers, does this make sense?”

I wanted to convince him, but his smile wouldn’t disappear.

“There are limits to hanging out with friends.”

Even though it felt strange, hyung eventually told me how to solve it.

“Starchis, my cute little brother. There is no way they like you?”

“That’s right!”

“Never?”

“Never.”

When I said it firmly, he chuckled.

“If they had feelings for you, wouldn’t it be okay?”

“No.”

“And you wish you had some time off?”

“Uh. Give me some time to rest. What should I do?”

Seeing my face like that, Hyung scratched his head and mumbled quietly.

“…Hey, yes, he’ll himself take care of the aftermath.”

“…?”

“Starchis... Then try this.”

“What is it, Hyung?”

Hyung said nonchalantly:

“Just tell them you got a girlfriend.”