Pretending To Have A Girlfriend?

'Why were Vienna and Luss upset?'

The more I think about it, the more absurd it feels.

Even if I wanted to relax my body and go to sleep like this, I hated that I couldn’t.

And the memory of that day comes to mind.

It’s been a few days, but I still don’t know what’s wrong with those two.

They didn’t even tell me what I did wrong until the end.

So why were Vienna and Luss upset?

Was I not doing anything right? Did I just give them a wish ticket for free?

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.

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Phew…

No. Let go of this thought now.

If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t have been able to run the dungeon properly.

It’s a thing of the past, but it was a question that naturally came to me as I fought against fatigue and woke up early.

I am so tired now, but how tired will I be again when I have to meet Vienna tomorrow and Luss a few days later, and do as I am told to do all night?

Ugh! No. No…!

Even if I decided not to think about how regretful it was, it continued to linger in my head.

I lifted my heavy body from the bed.

“Don't do it..!”

As if the bed were a magnet, it was hard to separate me.

Considering how waking up early was never easy, it’s probably really a magnet.

Even drinking cold water did not wake me up.

Will I wake up when it’s bright?

I pressed the switch to turn on the magic light.

A messy room caught my eye.

I normally live clean. But lately, I’ve been suffering because of them, so I haven’t had time to clean.

After returning exhausted, I couldn’t take out and throw away my clothes or empty the trash, so I was no different from a pig.

Opening the window, a cold wind blows into the room.

After rummaging around, I put on clothes that didn’t stink much and stood in front of the bathroom mirror.

Ugh... I’m tired.

I opened my eyes while washing my face.

I checked my face in front of the mirror.

A face that looks good only to me; Black hair, black eyes, a messy beard growing from not shaving for days, eyes bloodshot from fatigue, and dark circles, which were not there before, made my already low self-esteem even lower.

“Starchis, why do you live like this?”

Even when I questioned myself, no answer came back.

Instead, I heard my brother’s voice in my heart:

‘Just tell them you got a girlfriend.’

…Would that really help?

I hit my cheek hard.

Let’s not think about it now.

It was time for Lily Noona to come.

I only roughly washed my hair.

I wanted to shave off my messy beard too, but hey, I was a porter anyway, so why...?

I even thought of it as a little rebellion.

If you’re going to take me with you, don’t be ashamed.

If it goes well, I won’t be dragged around like a porter, and I will have more days to rest.

If there was room for us to become lovers, I would have dressed up to go out. But in my case, that’s not it...

-Thump Thump

While I was having such thoughts, someone knocked on the door.

As expected, Lily Noona's voice was heard next.

I expected her to come, but wasn't she tired? Was it someone else who entered the dungeon yesterday?

-"Starchis? Noona is here. Are you ready? I'm waiting outside."

****

I sniffed my clothes and went out the door.

But was this okay? They also seemed to smell more than necessary.

My eyes met Lily Noona who was waiting outside.

Noona’s red hair with a slight wave was as fine as silk, and the clothes were very beautiful. It was a very simple white dress, but she looked beautiful anyway.

Whether it was the harmony of her dress with her red hair, the little details in her clothes, or because of Noona's figure, she looked stunning.

“Oh, you’re dressed nicely.”

I gave a cliched compliment.

Noona covered her mouth and even giggled at such a clichéd greeting.

“Thank you, Starchis.”

She also made a mischievous smile.

Next, her eyes scanned me up and down.

And with those tiger-like eyes, I felt ashamed of myself for no reason.

It’s what I planned, but when I actually put it into practice, emotions I didn’t expect came flooding in.

Now I had a messy beard and smelly, worn-out clothes, bloodshot eyes, and scarred skin.

It didn't even feel like Beauty and the Beast, it was more like Beauty and the Pauper.

Did everyone say they had a plan until they got hit?

Okay.

No matter how much I didn’t want to go out, I thought that this was a bit disrespectful.

“Noona, can I change my clothes for a while? I think these smell a little.”

But her reaction was something I didn’t expect.

“…Let’s see.”

And then, she brought her face closer to me.

I panicked and put my hand on her forehead to block her.

“Ugh! Oh, they really do smell. I'm not kidding.”

“It’s okay, Starchis.”

"What the hell… No, what are you going to do by smelling it…"

Though Noona didn't answer that question, instead asked.

“What are you ashamed of? It’s not like we’re dating. I can check to see if my younger brother stinks. I'm your older sister, right?”

Like this. Lily Noona often reminded me that I was just a little brother. As if not to forget.

The strange beating of my heart I felt after looking at how beautiful she looked, quickly calmed down at her words.

I knew she really doesn’t have such feelings for me, but if she draws lines like this, I just feel bad for nothing.

It feels like I was given 0 confessions and 1 punishment.

When Noona said that, I felt stupid for being embarrassed.

Yeah, it’s not like we’re going to be lovers.

No matter how ugly I look, does it even matter?

I resigned the strength bit by bit I had in my hand holding back her forehead.

And Lily Noona's face gradually moved closer to my shirt.

When she put her face on my clothes, I inhaled the fragrance of Lily Noona's shampoo, not my smell.

“...Um...”

No, I said I wouldn’t care just a second ago, but I can’t help but be embarrassed; I smelled like a pig. I thought she would move away hurriedly.

“…Ha…Whoa…”

But she kept breathing, even moving a little closer to me.

“Lily Noona?”

When I called her name, she quickly returned to her snappy self.

“Hmm. Starchis. It’s a bit ambiguous. Wait a minute?”

But what you’re saying is a bit odd.

“No. That’s alright now.”

“Just a moment.”

“No. I think I know.”

“Are you saying I’m still vague?”

“Ah really…It’s embarrassing…”

“…”

“…”

“…Stay still.”

When I blushed slightly and said I was embarrassed, she acted like someone who had lost something.

“I'll tell you if it’s strange? Stay still for a moment. Noona will judge everything.”

“No, I’ll just change and come back. Wait.”

I carefully escaped her approaching face, then turned around and opened the door to the room.

-Crick

I opened the door and tried to enter the room

-Bang!!

But Lily Noona's other arm pressed the door shut.

To be honest, I was a little scared.

And I felt my body stiffen at the sound of her voice that continued like the low growl of a tiger.

She spoke without looking at me.

“Starchis, it’s because Noona likes this outfit. So I'm checking it again and again because I want Starchis to wear it. So if there’s no problem, I hope you keep wearing it.”

This…?

It’s so lame that it’s embarrassing to look at. And didn’t you give me a cold look earlier? It’s a habit, but… It’s a bit strange.

“So, if it’s not smelly, you’ll still be wearing it starchis, right? I like this outfit, so I’ll judge if it smells. So why don’t you just stay there?”

There are times when people change like this sometimes; mainly when furious.

As I was dumbfounded and kept my mouth shut, Noona approached me.

I tried to grab her arms to stop her—

[Slow.]

But as she murmured [Slow], my body slowed down tremendously.

Lily noona easily avoided my slow arm and instead took me into her bosom.

Are you using magic on this? Is this some kind of joke?

Noona... Are you doing this more because you know I’m shy?

She sniffed my clothes once again.

My face reddened from shame.

-Sniff sniff

She sniffed me, but instead of telling me if it smelled or not, she got closer step by step.

Then she started to sniff at every part of my clothes; she started from my chest and worked her way down to my belly - the side that seemed to have the strongest smell.

She came all the way up and at the end she was sniffing my collarbone as she pressed close to my neck.

There are no clothes there, Noona..?

Both arms also sat on my waist and held very tightly.

Now that I think about it; it might seem that we were hugging each other tightly as if we were lovers.

The hair on my nape began to tickle because of her breath.

What the hell is this? She said she was going to just judge if it stinks. Why is it like this?

“Haa…Ha…Hum…”

“Nooonaaa?”

Words come out slowly.

It didn’t seem like she was slowing down. I tried to grab her shoulder with my arm.

-Slap!

"?"

Lily Noona didn’t even look at me and she cut my arm as I approached.

My arms slowly flew away.

“Sup, seup, seup.”

Then, she began to rub her nose.

Really, why is this? Isn't it in the top 50 of Noona's weirdest looks?

“Huff…Huff…Huff…”

Her eyes were closed and her cheeks flushed. My throat tickled at the breath she exhaled after sucking through her nose.

Then she opened her cherry lips slightly and her cute tongue stuck out a little toward my neck.

At that moment, my arm stretched out. The magic was broken. I didn’t miss this chance.

“Noona!!”

It was because I felt weird.

If she acted like this, even if Noona doesn’t look at me that way, I keep looking at her strangely.

I grabbed both of her shoulders and pushed.

“Uh..?”

Then I heard a stupid sound I’d never heard from Noona, who was smart and warm.

Her eyes widened and her arms stretched out towards me.

A string of saliva connects her mouth and my neck.

Hey, what are you doing with your saliva on it?

Just to see if these stink? I’m not stupid.

Isn't this a reaction that would only come out if there were drugs in my clothes?

Now that I look at her again, it must be in the top 30 of her strangest looks.

“…Noona, this isn’t about smelling, it’s a bit… Wasn’t it sexual harassment?

“Uh... Yes... Sexual harassment?”

When I spoke a little strongly, she returned to her usual self a little.

“It smells bad, but why are you doing that?”

“Ah…Uh… Hmm!”

“..I think it’s a little beyond the level of using magic and joking around?”

Lily Noona blinked her eyes and turned her head away.

Then she rubbed her head, straightened her bangs, and looked at me.

“Oh so… That’s… I’m sorry. The clothes seem to smell dangerous, so I’ve been concentrating a bit on identifying them for sure.”

“…A dangerous smell?”

"Yes. The smell of the deadly poison of the Cinta snake is faint. I’m a wizard, so I’m knowledgeable about materials."

Uh…?

That's true?

Well, otherwise, I can’t explain the ridiculous appearance I just saw.

Unbelievable actions require unbelievable reasons.

Rather, her actions were so nonsensical that I believed her explanation even more.

“So…?”

“Yes?”

“…Poison…Was it on my clothes?… I don’t think anyone has such a grudge against me.”

“Ah..! Ah! No, no. I was mistaken.”

It was a mistake.

After that, my anxious heart calmed down a little. At least, I wasn't poisoned.

“So it was just a mistake… Noona, you felt like a pe*vert because you didn't tell me beforehand. Next time, tell me first.”

Noona's face turned red like tomatoes. Her hair and face become the same color. Her head was also bowed.

Anger detection radar activates...

…Are you mad?

“…Starchis, what nonsense is that?”

Yeah, she's angry.

Oh, Gee, why did I say that without thinking about how she might feel?

I ruined it. Haha… How much trouble do I have to go through to release this anger now?

Ugh, I dug my own grave.

I must have been very embarrassed by the situation earlier, so my words came out without filtering.

Come to think of it, yes.

Fearing that I might be in danger, she tried to find the poison poking her nose into my clothes, but I treated her as a pervert.

Hey, who wants to stick their nose in a dress like this? A normal person can’t do that.

“And you said it was sexual harassment before. How can it be sexual harassment when it’s something an older sister does to a younger brother?”

“Yes?”

“Where is sexual harassment in the family?”

“…Why is there no sexual harassment in the family, Lily Noona…”

“Is there? No. I’m like this…”

Lily Noona put her hand under my clothes and strokes my abs.

There was something odd about her hand.

“Even if I touch your skin. We’re not lovers, we’re family, so it’s not sexual harassment, okay Starchis?”

I'm not an idiot.

No, even if this might not be sexual harassment between family, we were not actual family.

How much do you think of me as your brother…

“It’s not sexual harassment for me to do this to Stachis. It’s common sense, okay?”

“Lily, please remove your hands first.”

I tried to grab her wrist, but she didn't even react.

“Okay? Starchis?”

Instead, a hideous aura emanated from her.

Being called a pervert must have made her so angry.

I nodded at her words so as not to irritate Noona more.

But I wish I could get her hands off my body first.

I support pure love!! A person who is not even a potential lover cannot touch my skin.

I had to be true to my convictions.

“…Yes, okay Noona. I was wrong.”

Only then did Lily Noona’s hand, which was touching my abs, leave.

“Yeah. So it wasn’t sexual harassment, and it wasn’t even that I was a pervert. Even if you weren't poisoned, I can just smell your clothes, okay?”

“Yes, Noona.”

It looked like a long time had passed, but it was still dawn. The day hadn’t even started yet.

Phew. It looks like it’s going to be a long day.

“Noona, then shall we go now?”

“Oh, before that.”

“..?”

Noona then opened the door, she herself had closed before.

“Looking at it now, I don’t really like these clothes. Would you like to change? Why not also shave your beard and come back? Noona will wait outside, okay?”

This wizard…? What have we been doing so far, if that...?

“…Noona?”

“And suddenly, I thought about something important...”

“…What?”

“If Starchis has a lover, how will he get ready? Assuming you have a lover, why don't you wear the clothes you would wear then? I’m worried if she would like those clothes or not.”

Huh, really?

But you said you liked the clothes I had on now. Not even a few minutes had passed...

And it’s annoying to dress up… But why are you worrying about things like my future girlfriend?

“Lily Noona, when I get a girlfriend, then I’ll take care of myself and dress well. I don’t like wearing it like that now.”

“…”

Life escaped from her eyes once again. What else did I do wrong..?

“…Is it annoying..? Are you bothered wasting time for me?”

Oh, you can understand it like this. That’s actually what I thought in my heart, but that’s not what I was trying to say.

“Ah… No, Noona. It’s just that it’s annoying to dress like that, would I come out early in the morning like this if I were bothered?”

“…Hmm…But how can I not wonder about Starchis' boyfriend look? I’m just curious. You know that wizards can’t hold back their curiosity, right?”

It was annoying. I don’t even know how would I dress then, because I don’t wear such pretty clothes.

It’s been a long time since I didn’t cut my hair, so it’s thick. Even if I spend time on it now, it doesn’t seem they would look pretty.

I thought about how I could gently refuse.

“Noona, I’ve never worn a boyfriend look or anything. I don’t know where I put my good clothes. It will take a long time to find and wear the combination. Aren’t we running out of time? Isn’t that why we met early in the morning?”

Lily Noona looked at me with a thoughtful expression.

Why are you so curious about my boyfriend look? In fact, I don’t even know how to wear it.

“Anyway, Noona, I’ll say it again, but I can’t even if I want to. Anyone who has never been in a relationship wouldn't know to wear something like that.”

Her face loosened up a bit.

“I’ll come out wearing a better dress, so wait a bit. Yes, Noona?”

Still, a lukewarm response.

What should I do to get her usual self back and make this uncomfortable atmosphere go away?

Ah!

“Ah! Lily Noona! Even if you are curious about my boyfriend look, as I said before, there is no such thing. So, can’t you match my boyfriend look yourself?”

“Uh..? Huh? Yes?”

“If you want to see me dressed up, we can buy it outside and I'll wear that.”

Noona’s face softens a little.

Yes, this is it.

I'll show the look, and since it happened like this, I'll also get a chance to buy some decent clothes. Lily Noona's taste is good, so with her help, my clothes would turn out to be amazing.

And it was Noona who said she wanted to see me like that, so if I was lucky, she might even buy it for me.

"That… That’s not bad…? But it’s not that I want to see you, I’m just curious if you’ll wear it well if you get a girlfriend."

“I know, I know.”

How many times do you have to draw the line to be satisfied?

Even if you just say it as if you are passing by, my heart feels like it is skewed.

“So how is it? Noona, could you help me match that pretty dress today?”

“Hmmmm… My younger brother asks me, so, of course, I have to listen to that much.”

“Then can we do that? For now, I’ll just change into clothes that don’t smell. Wait.”

“Yes. We'll do that today. I'll just wait outside until you change.”

-Thump

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.

.

As Starchis entered the door, Lily felt her face heat up.

She would be able to see Starchis’ boyfriend look today... and it would also be according to her taste at that.