LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 104: The Memory of Yesterday
"The same thing will happen when you lose your memories after all is said and done and you have to return to your normal ways."
Alex's words keep on ringing in my head like a broken record from the moment I heard it from him. So, is this what Lancelot and Lucas are keeping from me?
The thought of finally leaving the castle but not remembering them any longer ached my heart, like it has been crushed by a heavy object. Just by merely thinking about it, it already shatters my heart into tiny million pieces. How much more if that fateful day finally happens?
I don't think I could be okay with that, especially after knowing about it.
"Krisella!"
I almost flinched when someone poked me in the arm after bellowing my name. When my senses returned to me, I immediately realized that I am in our school cafeteria. Ariella was the one that poked me earlier and my other friends Cailin and Maggie are here with us now.
Since a week has passed and no attacks have been reported for the last couple of days, it has been decided then by the royal council that it is okay to resume the classes by the following week.
"It seems to us that you have some heavy problem that you are thinking about," Ariella pointed out, her look with a hint of concern in it.
"Is there anything that we can help you with?" Maggie asked. All three of them looked at me as they patiently waited for my answer.
I tried to think fast on what to respond to them in a way that they wouldn't worry about me, or would redirect their attention towards me.
"No, trust me… I am totally fine," I responded as convincingly as I could. "Just some minor financial issues in which I could mend right away, that's all."
My friends looked at me for a while before they looked convinced.
"That is great to hear then," Ariella says.
It was then when the school bell started ringing, which indicates that our lunch break is now over and we have to attend our next class as soon as possible.
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Mr. Wimbshaw from our last-period class assigned us homework as usual before totally dismissing us for the day. Once done, some of my classmates immediately dashed their way towards the door until I can't see them again.
As for me, I was still gathering my things and stuffing them inside my backpack when my friends waited for me to finish. Because of that, I have to rush arranging my things and when I am done, I immediately strapped the bag behind me and walked out of the classroom with them all.
We immediately separated ways upon reaching the school gates. All three of them went to their right since they will be visiting Central Town today, to which I need to decline since I have other matters to take care of.
However, at that instant, I also began to wonder… if ever my mission at the castle is complete and I have to return to my normal ways without having a trace of any memories from what I have done these past few months, will I get to remember the feeling that I had working at the castle and will be able to live normally around my friends?
For now, I can't do anything but sigh.
I started moving towards the secret route that I am usually taking to get to the rear portion of the castle. Ever since that stalking incident that I experienced the other day, either Lucas or Alex is now obligated to pick me up at the alleyway going towards the castle to prevent any potential witnesses from seeing us walking together.
I was humming and all just to calm and prevent myself from thinking negatively ever again when I felt that familiar feeling of being followed just now, yet when I tried to crane my neck and look for any possible spies around the area, I didn't see anyone at all.
I would like to think of it as some figment of my imagination.
Therefore, I began walking once again, but this time, a bit faster than my normal pace. It did not take long before I reached the place where I should meet the one that would be accompanying me for today going towards the castle.
My lips parted upon seeing it was Alex who decided to pick me up this day.
"The same thing will happen when you lose your memories after all is said and done and you have to return to your normal ways."
His words from yesterday start to ring inside my head once more. Does he mean that it would also pain him to know that someday I will have to lose my memories of him? Why does he care about that so much? It's not like he likes me or anything of that sort.
He rejected my confession recently, right?
Sometimes, I hate it when he is toying with my feelings like this…
"Good. You've finally arrived. I thought I will have to wait for another hour in this awful place," Alex greeted me with a complaint. Typical of him to say so.
I will miss that side of him if I will have to go back in my normal ways after my mission.
Now, I wish I shouldn't have known that fact. I can't help but be irritated that it constantly reminds me what will happen to me by the time my mission in the castle is done.
Too much information could definitely kill you. At least, it will kill you from being constantly reminded every single day.
"Krisella, come on! We better hurry or someone will see us from here,"
I snapped back to reality when I heard his voice once again. By the time I lifted my head, I noticed he is already a few feet ahead of me so I hurriedly jogged my way towards him.
For the next couple of minutes, both of us walked in silence. It is as if no one knows what exactly we have to say to each other. No one dared to speak first, afraid that we might be saying the wrong things that would make this situation even more awkward for us.
Another minute has probably passed and still, no one talked. We just continued walking in silence, and it's bugging me now. This kind of silence is truly deafening, and I need to do something at least… before we reach our destination.
"Nice weather huh?"
"Just try to forget what I had said to you yesterday."
Alex and I both decided to initiate a conversation, and both of us have to pause to let the other speak his thoughts. Clearly, his statement makes more sense than mine, so therefore I gave him a curt nod to let him say what he has to say.
"I know what I said probably confuses you, and might even worry you all the time. It was so foolish of me to say that, when I swear to Lancelot that I will never spill the truth to you about that particular matter."
He didn't look directly into my eyes as he said those words, but rather, his eyes were merely stuck on the ground like something interesting in there caught his attention.
"But why? Why do my memories need to be erased by the time I complete my task? Why do I have to forget you all, instead of remaining to be friends with all of you in secret?" I asked, or more of pleading for an answer from him.
"Lancelot says it is best if you don't remember anything from your mission so that the secret would still be safe within the four corners of the castle. With you outside of it, Lancelot considers it as a threat for the secret to being spread, whether it is intentional or not."
I slightly gasped with what I heard just now. Do they not trust me in keeping it?
"It's not that we don't trust you, because you know you have our full trust right from the start," Alex says, as if reading my mind. "But rather, it is the fear that our enemies might come to you and would do everything that it takes to retrieve it. You know what I am saying?"
"I think I got it," I smiled. "I understand that you just wanted to keep me safe from harm. And having knowledge of you and our mission would endanger my life."
"Good, you finally understand my point…"
"But I would like to have one request before we finally reached the castle,"
Alex looked surprised hearing that from me, but then he asked, "What is it?"
"Please erase my memory of yesterday, the time I get to know the truth about the end of all of this… please, I just can't be bothered by it any longer. It pains me to know that I would eventually have to forget you in the end.."
Halting, Alex then turns at me and sees the pleading look plastered in my face. Heaving a sigh, he eventually agrees to my plan.
"Okay, if that's what you want."
Then he started placing his right middle and index finger in my forehead and chanted an unfamiliar spell… and soon, I wasn't so sure anymore how I ended up walking with Alex at the moment.