Power On - Do you wish to restart?

Chapter 15

Log. 19253.g

I am fine! The new battery works and the Programmer even installed a small device that will warn him if I happen to turn off on the street again. I don't know if it will make any difference if he's not around, but that's okay. It puts us at ease, anyway. I will stay here for a while longer. I want to be away from the city and its problems. I want to see this child running on the sand for a few more days.

Someone knocked on his door, and Tovu asked who it was. A woman sighed, opened it, and walked in. The man didn’t recognize her steps, but the sound of wheels was easy to identify, which made him a bit nervous; however, all she did was stop what sounded like a wheelchair by his bed.

— I’m Qena. Koira’s friend.

— Nice to meet you? — As always, he wasn’t in the mood to be polite, and his tone reeked of irony.

— She asked me to give you this wheelchair. It’s manual, and I’m not sure how you’re gonna use it, but, hey, be my guest.

— You’re doing a great job with the encouragement.

— Ah, well, not my job. — She shrugged. — I showed the nurses how to use it, so they can teach you. — Qena started walking away, then she stopped by the door: — I really don’t know what Koira sees in you; you’re just a bitter old man.

Tovu snorted; he wasn’t that old, and he was sure he had every right to be bitter. But maybe it was going a bit too far: even though he had got there because his mission was killing Koira, all the woman had been doing so far was helping him.

He scratched the end of his left arm, but couldn’t find where the scratch came from. He cursed under his breath; maybe that was Koira’s punishment, keeping him alive just to make him suffer.

— But I could have ended it at any time. — he mumbled to himself. — No one would have stopped me.

The man sighed; he was afraid of dying. He stretched his arm and tried to reach the wheelchair, but it was too far. He sort of wanted to try it, it could be good to leave the room for a little while, breathe a different air. He could hear all the different sounds, people talking.

— I can imagine I’m not here, don’t even have to close my eyes. — He laughed at his own lack of vision.

His mind wandered through imaginary corridors, painted the walls in dark, mustard yellow; transformed the sound of the air forced into the building into the gracious wind of the desert. He missed the sun, most of all. Days had been safer for him, nights were dark and dangerous, full of terrors and its deadly creatures.

The Sun had protected him since Tovu was a child, even when he wasn’t aware of its grace. The Sun was just and systematic, the same way it gave its light and warmth for all living things, it also gave them its punishment.

However, when he stopped to ask himself what he could have done to deserve something like that, Tovu remembered his hands were stained in blood. Koira wasn’t the first person he went after, he had killed before, dangerous people or those who simply knew too much. Wrong time, wrong place.

He had lost count of how many times he washed the blood off his hands. Everytime he was out of the temple, the Sun had given him a knife. It was all in the name of the Sun. All was the will of the Sun. How could a god order a servant to kill, then punish the servant for following orders? Tovu couldn’t answer that.

He hugged himself and tried to think of something else. His beliefs were the only thing keeping him sane at the moment, and he needed that grasp to reality.

It took a few restless, anxious hours before a nurse returned to check on him, and saw the chair.

— Oh my, no one told me this was here! I’d come sooner, dammit. — After a little while, Tovu recognized the man’s voice: Krig.

— It’s fine. — Tovu whispered, relieved; he was finally being taken away from that nightmare.

— Koira did this, right? That woman’s a genius, I’ll tell you. You’ll need some strength on that arm of yours, but, yeah, I think it could work. — He turned to the patient, hands on his waist, waiting for an answer: — So, wanna try it?

— Is it truly manual?

— Yep. No motors on this one. — Krig wanted to try it. It was true he didn’t dislike Tovu quite as much as the others, but it was because of Koira. She was interested in helping the man, and her inventions, adaptations, the prosthetics, all she built was incredible. And he loved seeing it all first hand.

— I suppose I could try it. — He was still a bit concerned.

— I’ll get someone to help me move you. — Tovu heard his steps towards the door. — I’ll be right there! — And the door was closed.

Log. 19003.a.b

So I decided to walk on the beach. The child I helped bring into the world runs around my feet. She can't see the difference between my synthetic and her organic skin. It’s beautiful to see a kid running around, free of the world’s worries. They are such rare creatures nowadays.

They are magnificent.

Séra and Ganen had been walking for a while. Ganen’s arm hurt more with every step, and she was trying quite hard to hide it. Séra’s eyes, however, were sharp.

— I think we might be almost there. — she said. — Wanna go on my back?

Ganen looked at her, surprised and a bit confused.

— You want to… carry me?

— Yah, I think I can do it. Lemme try!

— Oh no, no, wait! — But it was too late.

— Always wanted to carry a girl like a princess. — Séra smiled, then kissed her lover. — Are ya comfy?

— Yeah. — Ganen couldn’t help but laugh. She wrapped her good arm around Séra as she started to walk.

It was difficult following a straight line, every time they had to make a small detour because of a tree or a bush in their way. Both of them were thirsty and their stomachs had been complaining; Séra even asked if she should climb again, to check their path, but Ganen seemed rather sure of their direction.

She would focus on one tree in the right path, once they got there, she would find another. When Séra seemed to stray, Ganen pointed the right direction and they kept walking. It seemed endless, until they finally left the woods, one tree at a time.

— Holy shit! Finally! — Ganen exclaimed. She kissed Séra with a smile and gave her a tight hug. — You can put me down now, hun. You did a good job.

— Welp, it’s the least I could do, I mean, it was my idea to try and reach the clouds, and the mush…

— I was carrying a rope — she interrupted Séra —, which means I thought your idea was at least pretty good. This is not your fault, stop thinking it is.

— Okay, I’ll try my best. — Although she sounded quite shy. — Well, uhm, I think we should check the car first, yah?

— Yeah, I hope our things are still untouched.

— We haven’t seen or heard anyone around here, so I guess it’ll be okay?

— I hope so.

One looked at the other, and they sped up their steps. The car wasn’t much further ahead — they hoped —, so that little boost of energy should be enough. Séra was faster, her legs were longer, she was even laughing, thinking about all the cold agave juice she would drink once they got back.

Ganen was a few steps behind, she could catch up with the woman if she wanted to, but it was so cute seeing Séra all happy and giddy, turning back every now and then to ask her what they were having for dinner and if she needed to get more wood for the fire.

She even wondered if they could fit a little stove in the car, said she had the parts to maybe build one, it would make things easier, and it could use the power harnessed from the wind turbines they had put around the car.

Until she cursed:

— Fucking cunts! — Séra ran forward, and Ganen, startled, took a second to follow her. — Let go of that stuff, those ain’t yours!

Before Ganen could ask what was going on, she saw some people dressed in leaves and branches running away from Séra and her wrench. She sped to the car and tried to open the boot, but it was still locked.

— They didn’t find it. — Ganen was breathless.

— No, but those bastards found our food. — Séra was so angry. Sand City, although far from perfect, was at least safe.

— No. — She paused. — No, no, they didn’t. Fuck! — She looked at their camp, and it was all gone. The tent, the water bottles, their snacks and syrup, all gone. — Did they get into the car?

— I don’t know, but I don’t think so. The boot was locked, yah?

— Yes. So the doors might be too. — She held the handle, but hesitated to open it. If it was open, it would be devastating. She imagined all her tech, broken or stolen, the food and water in the car, their map!

— It’s locked. — Séra said, after trying and failing to open the door.

— Oh. Sorry, I think I froze.

— It’s okay, love. So we still have the food and water in the cooling box, and all your stuff was in the car, yah?

— Yeah, the only thing outside was… — Ganen started patting her pockets until she sighed, a tiny bit relieved. — My music device is here.

She waited for an answer that didn’t come; Séra was thinking, calculating how much their food would last, and if there was any place close enough for them to go before their resources were over. Ganen sat by her side, and held her hand.

— Hey, honey. — She waited until Séra looked at her. — I can make traps. We can gather fruits and roots, we can do this.

— I do know how to make a bow. — She tried to smile. — I’m not that good at using one, though.

— We’ll figure it out. — Ganen encouraged her. — At least we still have the car and everything within it.

— Yah. But it sucks.

— Oh, yeah, it does, it really does! I mean, who even are those people?! Immortal followers? Forest people? Scavengers? — Ganen was also angry, but most of all, she was confused and surprised. — If they had asked, I wouldn’t mind sharing!! I hope they choke on it. — she mumbled.

— Right?! — Séra looked at her, arms raised in an angry question. — We shared food with Esha for a long while.

— She did eat very little at first.

— Ah, yah, that’s true. — She paused and leaned on Ganen’s shoulders. — Will we have to keep guard at night now?

— I think it might be better. At least while we’re around here.

Séra pouted; she loved hugging Ganen when they slept, and if one of them was to keep guard, that wouldn’t be possible anymore. She knew that was the least of their problems, but it was the one she decided to focus on. Thinking about the robbery would just make her mad.

Log. 19003.a.a

So far, the Programmer and the Group seem to get along. After all, he’s also an outcast, though I didn’t share he’s an artificial human.

The battery is already in hand and everything is scheduled for tomorrow. I am terrified.

Tovu was helped onto the chair, and the first thing he did was look for any kind of levers or buttons. He had no real reason to trust Koira. It was true she had the power to turn everyone against him, but didn’t. Not yet, anyway. In her place, he probably wouldn’t have wasted the opportunity.

After hearing Krig talk about Koira for more than half and hour, how she loved challenges, was passionate about creating and improving the human body, how she sometimes didn’t sleep for days just to finish a mechanical piece, or forgot to eat and ended up in a hospital, Tovu was certain Koira liked her inventions more than she liked people.

He certainly was nothing but a new tool, a new broken toy with missing parts which would be a challenge to fix. And she could use his guilt, his embarrassment, to make him do whatever she wanted. Tovu was already doubting his life, his faith. He didn’t want more questions in his head, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

— Do you think you can go on your own for now? — Krig didn’t even try to hide his excitement; the chair was amazing! Fully operable with one hand, both rims were on the right side, so he could move the wheels separately or not! A work of art. — It’s a shame Koira isn’t here, I’m sure she’d love to see her creation move around.

Tovu took a deep breath; again, the nurse wasn’t helping the man’s anxious mind. Not that he ever thought he was somehow special for Koira, but he imagined she would at least be a little curious about him. About his health. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to follow that train of thought.

— Tovu?

— Yes, sorry. I guess I can try to propel it.

Krig took a step back and waited. Tovu couldn’t see the enthusiasm on his face, so it was a bit easier. He touched the rims and tested how much strength he would need, and it was quite a lot. He wondered how long had it been since he had to use any strength whatsoever with his right arm. He couldn’t remember. His left had always been better. He missed it.

Tovu put some more effort into the experience, and started to move both rims. The wheelchair was propelled forward a little bit, and the man stopped it. The corridor was a dark nothingness and he didn’t want to bump into anyone.

— Do you have a cane?

— Did you forget yours? — Krig sounded confused.

— I didn’t know I had one. — Tovu was a mix of anger and embarrassment. — No one ever told me.

— Well, I suppose you never walk around, so you haven’t needed one so far. — There was a pause, but it was too short for Tovu to say anything. — Stay here, I’ll get it.

Tovu paid attention to the distancing steps, and decided to try the wheelchair a bit more. If he moved it slowly, the chances of hitting someone were basically zero. Once again, he heard around him, he had been practising his senses, it was getting easier to identify the sounds, notice where they were coming from, and estimate how distant they were.

The wheelchair went forward very slowly, then he moved only one of the rims, and felt himself in a gentle spin. He would need some practice, but it could work. Being honest, Tovu was surprised Koira went through all of that trouble just for him. Specially knowing he was sent to kill her.

It didn’t take long before Krig was back; he attached the cane to the left side of the chair, where Tovu could feel it with his left arm, and after some adjustments, the man felt a bit more secure to roam around.

He could hear Krig by his side, sometimes to his back, but Tovu was more focused on the vibrations and bumps coming from the cane. He had no idea where he was, he had never really left his room since he woke up, and making a mental map was proving itself to be a difficult task.

There were children playing somewhere to the right, and the smell of food came from the left. Some faint, light music was being played ahead, and he wondered what it might be. Although he had never been able to play any instruments, he really loved listening to them.

Before he was left in Sand City, one of his many siblings had an accordion, and they would play it every night. Those memories of music and dance were buried so deep in his mind, he hadn’t thought about them in ages. With a smile, he thought he could try and learn how to play a small flute. Or a triangle, if he tied the dinger to his left stub.

Krig kept him company on that first day, since Koira spent most of it sleeping. The nurse pushed him when he got too tired, and brought him back to his room. Tovu was strong enough to sit without assistance, and together, they put the chair by the bed, so that he could sit on it by himself. After a few practises, which left him exhausted, the man decided to rest.

For the first time since his accident, he felt excited for something.

Log. 18960.p

Apparently, my body started spending more energy than normal, due to the countless extra programs that I currently run on my system. I need a more powerful battery. However, do you know who are the only ones licensed to change batteries? That's right! The Robot Physicians! I can't go to the Workshop and I haven’t got how to change my own battery! And I don’t want to do it alone...

I think it’s time to introduce the Programmer to the Group.

Even though both of them wanted a shower, Ganen and Séra feared leaving their things alone for a second time. They didn’t want to be robbed again, and there was no way of finding the culprits. They settled for some cleaning wipes, to at least get the sticky sweat from their skin.

Ganen kept guard that night, she sat beside the branch pile to feed the fire. There was the sound of the flames, but there was something else: a strange dripping noise every now and then. She tried looking for it, tightened every bottle they had, checked the cooling box, but she couldn’t find anything.

— And it can’t be from the trees, because they’re quite far. I don’t think I’d hear it from here.

After a while, she decided to ignore it, got her crossword puzzles, and focused on the letters. However, Ganen wasn’t very good at ignoring things, so the blank space on the screen, waiting for that 5-letter word, kept blinking in her mind and disrupting her thoughts.

With a sigh, she got the thesaurus and started looking for a word that would fit. She read those pages again and again, to no success, and blamed it on the night, on the lack of light, on the stress of that day, but in the end, she knew the blame was hers.

— Fuck it, I’ll start another one.

It seemed like the more she tried to ignore those blank squares, the more space they took in her mind. She decided to try other puzzles, maybe a thematic one would ease her. And after a few hours answering questions about biology, plants and insects, the sun started rising and she barely noticed the time going by.

The sun rose in the sky in beautiful shades of orange as the birds started to sing, and Ganen thought she should make some coffee. They had enough food in the cooling box for a few days, but thanks to that detour, they would have to scavenge.

— At least there’s still coffee. — Ganen wondered to herself.

She looked over to Séra, who was starting to move. She would always awake alongside the sun, stare at Ganen for a few seconds, then hug her tight and go back to sleep. It was routine by now, and it made Ganen’s mornings much happier than before.

Seeing Séra staring at that moment, so lost and confused for a while, made her smile. She had the cutest lover.

— Good morning, hun.

— Uhm… morning already, eh… — Séra was still half asleep.

— I’m making some coffee. — She pointed at the fire. — What else do you want for brekkie?

— Hard question, love. — She yawned whilst rubbing her eyes. At least the sun wasn’t so bright, she could slowly get used to it. — Do we still have bread or biscuits?

— I think we have biscuits. Check the coffee for me? I’ll get them in the car.

Séra nodded with another yaw, then crawled near the fire. She poked the coffee pot with a stick, and nothing happened. She didn’t quite know what to expect. She watched as Ganen opened the car — they would keep it closed for now on — and got some mugs and the biscuits, also some butter and jam, and smiled as the woman sat by her side.

They had a quiet breakfast, Séra was still half-asleep and Ganen was about to follow her lover into slumber; it was upsetting thinking that would be their routine for a while, but there was nothing else they could do. The idea of using the Machine as a scarecrow made them laugh, but the risk of losing the robot was too big.

When they were about to leave, Ganen remembered the dripping sound, and Séra thought it was wise checking the car. She laid on the floor and the problem showed itself: there was a wet spot on the ground. She touched it, felt like water, but once she smelled the sweet, although chemical fragrance, Séra frowned.

— It’s break fluid.

— Is it bad? — Ganen asked.

— Yah. I have some more, let’s hope it’s enough, but we might have to stay here another day.

— Specially because we forgot to check the stars.

— Shit, I completely forgot! — Séra got up and cleaned her fingers on her pants.

— Well, I should’ve looked, I was awake all night. — Ganen got beside her lover as she opened the hood.

— Well, that’s how those cunts got to the breaks. They broke the lock on the hood. — She let out a deep sigh. — It took me so long to get this car working, now I have to do it all over again.

— Not all over, come on. — Ganen kissed her on the cheek. — Just the breaks; I’m sure I can fix the hood lock. I might need instructions, though.

— Ya should rest, babe. — She gently touched her face, and smiled. — Ya protected us all night.

— You sure?

— Of course, love.

With another kiss, Ganen put a blanket on the ground, hugged her pillow, and ventured into the world of dreams.

Séra, on the contrary, got to work with a new mug of coffee. She had enough parts, thanks to the Immortal they destroyed, the fluid was her biggest worry. It was true there was more, but it wasn’t much more. If she failed to fix it or if it broke later on the road, they would be in trouble.

She started cleaning the tubes around the battery while she looked for the damaged ones. It was a relaxing task, she remembered building or trying to fix something every time she was stressed or nervous, which happened a lot when she was a child.

Taking things apart and putting them back together had always helped her mind focus on the one job and ignore all the rest, which was good when her parents were fighting. Séra didn’t remember much of that time, but she couldn’t forget how ruthless her father was. Koira tried not talking about it when little Séra was around, but the child would hear anyway, whether it was from her aunt or from others.

Your father is so aggressive, people would say. Has he hurt ya?, they asked. Is this bruise because of him? What happened to your mother, is she okay? Do ya need help?

Séra stopped and put her tools down. She didn’t remember things being so bad, though she remembered being afraid quite many times. Those weren’t memories she wanted back, but they kept coming anyway. Broken furniture, stains on the walls, plates and glasses thrown at her mother. At herself.

She put a hand on her arm, where a scar marked her skin. It was an accident. Her mother kept telling her it was an accident, her dad didn’t mean it, and then she would stay at Koira’s house for a long time. He lost control, her mother would say, He’s not himself when he’s angry.

A chair rose to the air in her mind’s eyes, went down with enough strength to hurt, wood splinters flew everywhere, and someone screamed. Koira took her away for good after that, and she never saw her parents again. They got sick. Died of an illness. Koira never told her which illness.

— Maybe they died of… chair. — she mumbled, as the pieces of her memory were put together.

She had killed Ori. She knew it, but she didn’t quite remember. Yeff said she hit him with the IV pole, but there was no recollection of it. There was rage and fear, of that she was certain, there was pain and blood, and Ganen’s face was covered in it, and then there was nothing. Your father is not himself when he’s angry.

Séra bit her lip and tried her best to think of something else. Her hands were shaking and all she wanted was a hug. When she asked Ganen about that day, all the woman said was that she saved them both. She never got into details.

She couldn’t breathe. Séra hugged her knees and hid her face, it was too much to bear alone.