Chapter 5
A dark studio with all the lights off.
Inside, Minhan Kim was looking at the laptop screen with his blank eyes.
On the screen, an old doctor with gray hair is seen.
“Hello Doctor. Can you hear me well?”
He spoke into the laptop, and the doctor on the screen responded.
[Yes, Mr. Minhan. how have you been doing?]
“It was as usual.”
[As usual… . thank god. Because it hasn’t gotten any worse.]
“Yes.”
Minhan Kim has been receiving psychiatric counseling through video conferences for several years.
A long time ago, he wanted to relieve himself of the guilt that his younger brother had died because of him.
[It just so happens that the consultation date coincides with the anniversary of my younger brother’s death. Is there anything you would like to tell me about anything special that is different from usual?]
“Nothing in particular.”
[Okay. Is what you are doing okay? Are you sure you don’t work too hard every day, except when you’re giving online consultations?]
“It’s business as usual.”
[As usual, you are overdoing it.]
“···.”
[I’ll say it again, it’s really dangerous. It is inevitable to blame yourself out of guilt toward your younger brother, but punishing yourself through ‘work’ is really dangerous.]
“… .”
[No matter how talented a doctor Minhan is, if he works without resting, he will inevitably make mistakes. Then Minhan will come to hate himself so much that he can’t turn back. Should I contact Hanhyang University Hospital? Doctor Minhan Kim, are you saying you still wanna perform the surgery?]
Kim Minhan smiled bitterly at the consulting doctor’s reprimand.
‘I know very well what you are saying. But I can’t help it.’
Even if everyone in the world says it is not his fault, Kim Minhan has already condemned himself as ‘a criminal who killed his younger brother.’ That’s why Kim Minhan couldn’t live without punishing himself.
So he went into the operating room every day without a break. That was my punishment.
‘Unless I die and meet my brother and ask for forgiveness… There is no forgiveness for me.’
The long consultation ended like that.
[Then let’s end it for today. And Mr. Minhan, please make sure not to over work in the operating room. I will call Hanhyang University Hospital to check.]
“All right. “Then I’ll just leave.”
[Yes. I will send you the schedule for the next consultation by email.]
Minhan Kim turned off his laptop. As the bright laptop light disappeared, the moonlight coming through the window illuminated the room particularly brightly today.
Kim Minhan fell into while looking at the moonlight.
‘Do I need more counseling? ‘It wouldn’t be of any use anyway.’
“Whoa…”
Minhan Kim sighed and leaned back deeply on his sofa. Then he looked at the ceiling and remembered the day his brother died.
‘It was exactly 30 years ago today.’
His younger brother died because of him. It’s because his younger brother foolishly gave up the kidney to him.
‘Because of that disease… shit.’
Nowadays, I could survive with medication and dialysis and wait for a transplant, but at that time, I was in a situation where I would die if I didn’t get a transplant right away.
My brother and myself.
‘If only I had died then…’
I’ve thought about this countless times. But that wasn’t possible. Because I felt sorry for my dead brother because of me.
So Kim Minhan lived like crazy.
He studied to death while caring for his mother who lost her husband and his son. As a result, he was accepted to medical school and became a surgeon.
A doctor who specializes in organ transplantation, something everyone avoids and finds difficult.
Someone said that Kim Minhan’s grades and efforts were not worth it, and recommended a field where it is easy and convenient to make money.
But Kim Minhan couldn’t do that.
Because he felt too sorry for his younger brother who should be alive and lived comfortably and happily.
‘Shit···.’
He took the day off today because it was his younger brother’s death anniversary.
I tried to somehow smile and stay cheerful today, but I couldn’t.
Eventually, he started drinking alone in the morning, and his room became full of empty liquor bottles and cigarette butts. If he drank this much, he could get drunk, but Kim Minhan kept his cool, perhaps because it was the anniversary of his younger brother’s death.
Squeak…
“Have we run out?”
I don’t smoke or drink alcohol at all. So the alcohol I bought this morning was all I had at home.
‘This is my last bottle. ‘I’ll have to get some from the convenience store.’
Kim Minhan put on his clothes and came out.
[It is on the 1st floor.]
‘It’s Minsu’s death anniversary. Should I buy some ice cream? ‘With the taste that Minsu liked.’
Kim Minhan, who thought about his younger brother for a moment, came out of the common entrance.
“Brother!”
“···?”
At that time, someone called ‘brother’ from behind.
But there was no one around him except himself.
‘It’s a familiar voice… no,I’m just hearing things…?’
Normally, I would have just continued on my way. Because there was no one in this world worthy of calling me ‘brother’.
But maybe it’s because today is his younger brother’s death anniversary. For some reason, the word ‘brother’ stuck in Kim Minhan’s ears. Kim Minhan’s heart and mind, which had not wavered even after drinking a lot of alcohol, responded.
The voice he called ‘brother’ resembled the voice of his younger brother in his memories. Although it was definitely a different voice.
Minhan Kim slowly looked back.
It’s unlikely, but it’s possible that miraculously, I have a younger sibling.
‘It’s okay to be crazy. If only I could see Minsu even just once.’
But perhaps miracles don’t happen that easily?
Standing behind Kim Minhan was a handsome man. I looked at his face, but I didn’t know him.
‘Okay···. ‘That can’t be possible.’
The moment he ignored it and headed back to the convenience store, Minhan Kim stopped when he heard the man’s next words.
“Why do you keep drinking alcohol every year on my birthday! “A person who he doesn’t know well.”
“···?”
“Is it okay for someone who has had a kidney transplant to drink like that? you became a doctor you should know that. “Don’t you know that?”
My hands were shaking. What on earth is this man talking about?
I could understand the meaning of the man’s words. But I did not understand this situation itself.
Because the first man he met knew about his past and was nagging him like he was his ‘younger brother’.
‘What is this man…?’
The man continued talking as if he would not give Minhan Kim time to think.
“And why don’t you eat ice cream again! You liked it so much, bro. So I bought one. “It’s similar to the taste my brother used to like.”
Even the younger brother’s unique expression of ‘ice puzzle’. These words would never come out of the mouth of a young friend like this.
The man slowly approached and shook an ice cream.
Long melon-flavored ice cream. Although it was dark, I could tell exactly what kind of ice cream it was.
When I was young, I couldn’t eat it a lot because it was expensive, but it tasted similar to the ice cream I picked every time I ate it.
‘What on earth…?’
Kim Minhan didn’t say anything.
It doesn’t matter whether the man in front of him is a crazy person, a possessed shaman, or anything else.
He didn’t mind anything, he just wanted to keep listening to the man.
Kim Minhan stood still in his place. This is because he felt that if he approached him for no reason and the man would walked away, he would regret it for the rest of his life.
“I remember? “My brother got better right away after the surgery, but I didn’t live long and died.”
How could I forget? That was the driving force and shackle of my life until now.
“My brother cried and said that at that time. I’m sorry. “Do you remember?”
A man who still speaks brightly like his younger brother. Kim Minhan nodded slightly to that man.
“At that time, there was something I really wanted to say!”
“···.”
“I’m fine! So, please live happily to your full extent don’t worry about me!”
As soon as he heard the man’s words, tears formed in Kim Minhan’s eyes.
‘Okay.’
This is what I wanted to hear when I meet my younger brother again someday.
But because he couldn’t understand his brother’s feelings, he was afraid for his whole life that he might resent him.
‘But… it’s okay.’
It felt like something was falling apart.
The regret, fear, and regret toward his younger brother that had built up all his life collapsed all at once and poured out on Kim Minhan.
“Black… Hehehe…”
After the death of his father and younger brother, he vowed never to cry again, but Minhan Kim could not hold back his tears.
Tears continued to flow down on my cheeks, as if my tear ducts were broken.
A man came up to him.
“Brother! This is what I give you. Ice cream… no. These were bad words that grandmother used to say. ice cream skeiski! I’ll give this to you, so be sure to eat it. Understand?”
After saying this, Kim Minhan had no choice but to admit it. That this man is not a crazy guy, but his brother.
Even if he wasn’t his brother, he had at least met his brother for a long time.
“Wow… Black… okay. I’ll eat. “I will eat a lot.”
Kim Minhan cried and accepted the ice cream the man gave him. He then looked up and he saw the man’s face.
“Then I’ll go! Let’s meet later someday! “We have to get along!”
The man’s face bore the playful smile of his younger brother.
***
Rattling.
[This station is Seongsu, Seongsu Station. The door to get off is…]
“ha···.”
I met Minsu’s older brother a little while ago.
I became Minsu in front of him and told him what I had to say.
Minsu continued to watch over his brother after his death. At first, he was grateful that everyone mourned his death, but it became increasingly difficult to see him like that.
I knew all of Minsu’s thoughts and feelings.
‘I did well, right?’
It was the first time for him to immerse himself in and worry about acting like he did just now.
‘Is what I’m saying right? Can I use this tone? Where should I look? What kind of expression should I make? Should I laugh? Wouldn’t it be right to cry? Shall I approach? Should I just stand there?’
These thoughts came and went constantly.
Of course, I always worried about this when acting.
But this time, it was a moment that really needed perfect acting.
Because I had to go beyond words and sentences and convey ‘Minsu’s’ feelings to his older brother.
Fortunately, the emotions and experiences I felt during the previous possession helped my acting and this time as well, and I was able to act exactly what Minsu wanted to say.
Actually, I was really worried when I first called Minsu’s brother. Normally they would think I was crazy.
It was not strange to be angry.
‘But is the truth conveyed somehow?’
Minsu hopes that his brother will no longer have a hard time because of him. Because I knew that, I performed a perfect performance.
No, it would be correct to say that it was more than just acting, it was possession.
Something felt good.
‘Today, I’ll have to eat pork belly… no, I’ll have to eat chicken at least.’
***
I got the part, but I still had to work part-time. So today, like yesterday, I was carrying heavy loads.
“Hey~ Top star!!”
The work foreman called me in a sly voice. Yesterday, I was asked about the results of the audition and the result was, ‘The PD gave me an extremely favorable review.’
‘I guess I’ll just say It that way rather than not saying anything…’
However, I wanted to share my joy with those who each saved 1 million won. So for now I was just thinking about doing it.
“Yes, captain.”
“They said they are going to vacate Sector A today, so I think I need to prepare in advance. “Let’s go after lunch.”
“All right.”
After cleaning up, I came to eat.
The restaurant is a Baekban restaurant that I have always loved. It was a place where many office workers came, so there were a lot of customers.
“Mr. Kim, what are you going to eat?”
“Um, half a dozen.”
“No, since it is a Baekban restaurant, it must be Baekban. “But what kind of white spot is this?”
“Um, what I ate yesterday.”
“No, what is that?”
It wasn’t a small restaurant, but it was noisy because there were so many customers. The customers at the other tables glanced at me, amazed that I was sitting among the men.
It was then.
Wooooow.
“??”
My cell phone rang. It is not common for my cell phone to ring because I have no one to contact.
Is this a call from the audition?
A thought suddenly occurred to me.
And when I checked-.
[<Dream of the Sun Rising> Audition Manager]
“···!”
It was really that phone call.
His heart started pounding hard.
“Whoa…”
He took a deep breath and carefully answered the phone.
“Hello?”
[hi···. Jinseok… fit···?]
The surroundings were so noisy that I couldn’t hear what was being said. However, it was too burdensome to ask him to say it again.
The foreman, who was arguing with Mr. Kim next to me, asked if I was bothered by the fact that I answered the phone in a restless manner.
“What? “Are you sure the youngest is getting a call from the audition?”
When I nodded slightly, the man got up from his seat.
Clap clap!
“Okay, everyone be quiet for a moment! “Please be kwayat!!”
The work foreman’s deep voice echoed throughout the restaurant.
Other customers responded by asking ‘What is it?’ and ‘Why should you shout like that?’, but the man didn’t care at all.
“Oh my, sorry while I’m eating! “My youngest made a very important phone call…”
Some of the guests ignored the man’s words and continued to talk noisily, but they soon became quiet due to the fierce looks in the other men’s eyes.
Thanks to this, I started hearing calls better.
[Are you Jinseok Kang? Are you having a hard time making a phone call?]
“Oh, no! “It was a bit noisy for a moment.”
[Ah yes. It was none other than a call to say that you passed the audition for the role of ‘Minho.’]
Daebak…!
“Yes Yes!”
[We need to adjust your schedule for filming, but since you don’t seem to have an agency, we will contact you directly.]
“Well, what? “What happened?”
“Did you got it?”
I nodded slightly and said.
“···Yes.”
After hearing PD Kim Mansoo’s words on set, I had a strong belief that I would succeed.
But receiving confirmation like this in person was a different feeling.
The guys slapped me on the back. It hurt a little, but it felt so good that it didn’t really matter.
“Okay! What did I say! “Didn’t I say you’d be a top star someday?!”
“Hey! Kang Jinseok! Order whatever you want today! Do you want to eat beef?!”
“Okay, okay! “The guys are shooting today!”
“No! “It’s not the ‘old men’, it’s the foreman president who shoots!”
“Shall I shoot you?! “Why are you fucking with my money?”
Now, people telling me that I will become a ‘top star’ even though I only got one small role. He seemed happier than me.
At that time, a text message arrived.
——
Hello, Jinseok Kang.
This is Kang Heeyeon AD of <Dream of the Sun Rising>.
We will share the shooting schedule with you.
August 27th…
——
It has finally begun. The life of the actor.